Venting Had a good Christmas, only to crash later

[none666]

These past couple days i've been in a great mood. I've been filled with Christmas spirit, been super positive and happy, and overall content for the first time in a long time. I got most of the stuff i wanted, i got a great gift from my gf, i got her a gift she loves, everything seemed perfect. But just a few minutes ago i was hit with a crushing wave of loneliness, out of fucking nowhere. I felt empty and hollow, like no one could ever really know me, and that i was a worthless piece of shit. I cut my thighs, tried to cry but cant really feel anything, and crashed completely from my good mood back to my regular suicidal state. Why is nothing enough? Why, no matter how many good things i have, no matter how many friends, i never fucking feel happy? I got everything i could ever want and all i want is to hang myself. Theres no point to this shit

 

[Empty Smile]

A crushing wave of emptiness and feeling hollow....

I feel your pain. I have never been a xmas person, even as a kid. I come to my family's house today and it only makes me feel more miserable.

I'm sorry you feel this way. It sucks being like this.

 

[none666]

A crushing wave of emptiness and feeling hollow....

I feel your pain. I have never been a xmas person, even as a kid. I come to my family's house today and it only makes me feel more miserable.

I'm sorry you feel this way. It sucks being like this.

Thanks fam, I'm glad i can come on here and find people who understand

 

[Empty Smile]

Thanks fam, I'm glad i can come on here and find people who understand

One thing I love about SS, we all have our downs, and there's always someone here to bring you up. May not be what you want to hear, but at least we try.

 

[Kuba]

i know what u feel.. this feel is so fucking bad ..i have a lot of friends too..they dont know about my depression. Are your gf know about your ctb thinking ? U are good guy . i will praying for u . i wish u to comeback your feeling from the day before . Take care <3

 

[none666]

i know what u feel.. this feel is so fucking bad ..i have a lot of friends too..they dont know about my depression. Are your gf know about your ctb thinking ? U are good guy . i will praying for u . i wish u to comeback your feeling from the day before . Take care <3

Thank you, she doesn't know, but hopefully I can work up the courage to be more open with her soon

 

[Kuba]

Thank you, she doesn't know, but hopefully I can work up the courage to be more open with her soon

im counting on it

 

[DariaBuPL]

Good to know that I'm not the only one.

I had a really great time with my family. All the love they had gave me, all this time I spent with them, all that laughing and happiness I had...

And then, just one damn moment alone, and it all got back to me. The sadness, those bad feelings, my suicide thoughts, being so lonely... That just sucks.

Well, anyway, take care.