Had my tonsillectomy

[Abyss Dweller]

When I woke up after the surgery I just felt incredibly honest. (But maybe I was just emotional but it just seemed to me that these are very strong and honest emotions.)

I told the nurse how much I appreciate her kindness.
Even in my drugged out state I was conscious enough not to tell her that:
1. I don't deserve her kindness
2. I wish I had died on the operating table.

I don't know.. it was just these 3 things that I felt very strongly: I wanted to thank her, tell her I don't deserve jack and that I wish I had died.

This self hatred seems to be so deeply rooted in me..

 

[Leonszabs]

When I woke up after the surgery I just felt incredibly honest. (But maybe I was just emotional but it just seemed to me that these are very strong and honest emotions.)

I told the nurse how much I appreciate her kindness.
Even in my drugged out state I was conscious enough not to tell her that:
1. I don't deserve her kindness
2. I wish I had died on the operating table.

I don't know.. it was just these 3 things that I felt very strongly: I wanted to thank her, tell her I don't deserve jack and that I wish I had died.

This self hatred seems to be so deeply rooted in me..

Hey, I hope you are recovering well! I have also had this operation done and I remember it being an annoying recovery process.