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Unsure and Useless

Unsure and Useless

Dreaming Endlessly, not Wanting to Wake Up
Feb 7, 2023
391
I'm experiencing, as the kids call it, "The Surge". You know, when thinking about/planning/executing your CTB makes you feel a rush of energy? Yeah, that

If I don't get into medical school, I'm gonna CTB. Full stop. I need to get my hands on SN, antiemetics, and (ideally) benzos, but that's the plan! Yep. Probably before that, I'm gonna buy some boba for myself; maybe some ice cream and a bean and cheese taco. Otherwise, a simple McMuffin is also good for me

This is gonna be so cringe when I look back on this, but right now, this feels like peak gambling

Win? Medical school

Lose? CTB by SN

Arguably, winning would be CTB, but honestly, the work to find a reputable SN source in addition to the fact that I'd be leaving a bunch of friends behind are just not it at the moment (Yes, I know about DSL on Y; I just can't find it)

Man, where should I even CTB? I can't do it at home since I live with family, but the city is so crowded. I'll probably have to book a hotel room, so researching how to prepare my room for a corpse will be necessary

Anyways, yeah, I'm just feeling really happy at the idea of getting my ticket and jumping on the bus
 
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LettinGooo

Member
Sep 22, 2025
39
Some plastic to protect the mattress if you don't fast before hand in case yknow leave a mess maybe.

Other than that hotels usually enforce cleaners checking the room once every few days now just in case someone CTB etc.

Maybe a delayed email to the police, hotel or someone warning them that you have passed.
 
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aego

aego

New Member
Oct 3, 2025
3
I'm experiencing, as the kids call it, "The Surge". You know, when thinking about/planning/executing your CTB makes you feel a rush of energy? Yeah, that

If I don't get into medical school, I'm gonna CTB. Full stop. I need to get my hands on SN, antiemetics, and (ideally) benzos, but that's the plan! Yep. Probably before that, I'm gonna buy some boba for myself; maybe some ice cream and a bean and cheese taco. Otherwise, a simple McMuffin is also good for me

This is gonna be so cringe when I look back on this, but right now, this feels like peak gambling

Win? Medical school

Lose? CTB by SN

Arguably, winning would be CTB, but honestly, the work to find a reputable SN source in addition to the fact that I'd be leaving a bunch of friends behind are just not it at the moment (Yes, I know about DSL on Y; I just can't find it)

Man, where should I even CTB? I can't do it at home since I live with family, but the city is so crowded. I'll probably have to book a hotel room, so researching how to prepare my room for a corpse will be necessary

Anyways, yeah, I'm just feeling really happy at the idea of getting my ticket and jumping on the bus
not sure where you live, but in the states they actually started to de-list pure SN from amazon and just sell pink salt :( — you can still buy it off other websites but keep in mind it might be expensive/unavailable for private use. make sure you can get access to SN, or buy potassium nitrite (available on amazon/similar results).

doing it at a hotel will prob be the most comfortable if home isn't an option. like Lettin said, make sure you use the toilet beforehand and/or have a plastic liner ready. and def leave a warning!
 
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