
GraceyFellDown
Member
- May 10, 2019
- 8
Ok so I'm new to this forum. I've been lurking around for the past months and last week I finally decided to make an account.
I don't want to write my entire life story. To keep it simple, I can count the times I truly smiled on my fingers. My parents divorced when i was 3 and I lived with my mother, who would regularly scream at me, tell me awful things, beat me and make me cry every night. I have been struggling with bad depression for most of my life and the first time I tried to kill myself was at 10 years old.
My life has gotten way worse since then and it's only going to keep getting worse.
Everyday I hate waking up, I wake up in pain and throughout the day i just cry and my chest hurts so much. It's unbealivably painful and I cannot do it anymore. There's no hope for my future at all and I've been thinking of suicide for a long time.
I chose full suspension hanging because it's the most accesible and (relatively) easy method and it leaves me no room to chicken out (as opposed to partial suspension).
I've practiced hanging before, so to say, meaning that i wanted to know how it felt like before I actually did it. For me, it was very painful and i found the feeling of my airways closing and not being able to breath the most unbearable thing I've ever experienced.
My question is what can I do to bear the pain and the feeling of not being able to breath? What do I do? I can't afford to chicken out and continue living, I can't bear anymore pain and my life would continue being a burden on everyone around me.
I need tips on hanging as a whole and how to make sure not to fail ( I am currently extensively researching hanging but any extra tips would be helpful) and also how to bear the pain of not being able to breath.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I'm new here so sorry if I make any mistakes. I'm planning to go soon and I cannot fail it. Take care!
I don't want to write my entire life story. To keep it simple, I can count the times I truly smiled on my fingers. My parents divorced when i was 3 and I lived with my mother, who would regularly scream at me, tell me awful things, beat me and make me cry every night. I have been struggling with bad depression for most of my life and the first time I tried to kill myself was at 10 years old.
My life has gotten way worse since then and it's only going to keep getting worse.
Everyday I hate waking up, I wake up in pain and throughout the day i just cry and my chest hurts so much. It's unbealivably painful and I cannot do it anymore. There's no hope for my future at all and I've been thinking of suicide for a long time.
I chose full suspension hanging because it's the most accesible and (relatively) easy method and it leaves me no room to chicken out (as opposed to partial suspension).
I've practiced hanging before, so to say, meaning that i wanted to know how it felt like before I actually did it. For me, it was very painful and i found the feeling of my airways closing and not being able to breath the most unbearable thing I've ever experienced.
My question is what can I do to bear the pain and the feeling of not being able to breath? What do I do? I can't afford to chicken out and continue living, I can't bear anymore pain and my life would continue being a burden on everyone around me.
I need tips on hanging as a whole and how to make sure not to fail ( I am currently extensively researching hanging but any extra tips would be helpful) and also how to bear the pain of not being able to breath.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I'm new here so sorry if I make any mistakes. I'm planning to go soon and I cannot fail it. Take care!