
deepsweetdiver
Member
- Dec 10, 2024
- 28
Not one thing has got better in my life. I've only been more depressed, more scared, more suicidal. Rumors are spreading back at my college that I'm practically the school pervert- talking about getting off in class, stealing my friend's underwear, dumb things like that. There's no proof for it, but somehow so many people believe it and my friend has refused to say anything about it. I don't even want to see any of their faces now.
I'm done living. I don't want help now. Everything has gotten worse, and my psychiatrist won't give me anymore of my sertraline, so now those feelings have been amplified. I don't even know how I've bothered this long. I wanted to be an adoptive mother and not bring any of my pain into my kid's lives. I wanted to be a musician, a fashion designer, an actress, all these things, but it means nothing if I'm basically a living husk of someone I used to be. I wanted all my family's lives to be great, but it just can't be possible. I don't care if it hurts them. I want to leave this hellhole.
I'm done living. I don't want help now. Everything has gotten worse, and my psychiatrist won't give me anymore of my sertraline, so now those feelings have been amplified. I don't even know how I've bothered this long. I wanted to be an adoptive mother and not bring any of my pain into my kid's lives. I wanted to be a musician, a fashion designer, an actress, all these things, but it means nothing if I'm basically a living husk of someone I used to be. I wanted all my family's lives to be great, but it just can't be possible. I don't care if it hurts them. I want to leave this hellhole.