How am I supposed to accept myself when I feel so faulty?

[Rachel]

I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?

 

[yppah71]

I struggle with the same thing. Not sure my family cares anymore - they are rightfully tired of my depression - but my note to them indicates what you expressed as a reason. I think we all have the right to take a look at our life and determine if it is worth continuing. I'm a fundamentally flawed person and don't think my life is worth continuing. I've tried therapy, medicine and everything short of an exorcism - but it all nets out the same. I'd rather not exist than continue as I am and save everyone the pain.

If a part of you wants to get better - then maybe you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to explore that. Focus on that part of you for a while and see what happens.

Good luck - it's a hard cycle of success, failure and introspection to go thru and most of us have been there.

 

[whatever1111]

I know :( a passive lifestyle sabotaged me

 

[Severen]

I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?

Well if you aren't a shallow person obsessed with making $$$ and buying things and don't have any responsibilities, then there is no point... Because that is pretty much, how people are forced to live their lives. But if you aren't that kind of person, the world still has some things to offer, that you may want to experience before you CTB. Like exploring the world, for example.

 

[sunny.sativa]

I wanna tell you that you're not the only one that feels like this, and you're not crazy and messed up more-so than many others. You're not defective, I promise. You're just as wonderful and capable, and screwed up in the head as the people you see on TV and the women that ring up your groceries and the lady on the corner, singing for money.

We've all got our shit. Some people can make it through life with it, hiding it, some of us wear our issues on our sleeves. No matter your condition, you get to choose, man. You gonna carry that shit proudly and make a statement? Make yourself something, maybe? Or maybe not. Cause even just surviving is goooood enough, that's a hard thing these days. I'd say it's pretty badass.

It's also okay to surrender, though. If you go through your options that entail being alive and find that none of them seem worth it, by all means. Do your thing, doll. I understand that pushing through life with such burdens doesn't sound enticing for more than half of our population here, but it's an option.

I hope that if you wanna get better, you go DO just that, because you can do it!! It won't be easy, but most things that are worth achieving are, unfortunately, more than a-skip-and-a-hop away.


I hope this made sense. I haven't slept right and I'm loopy cause of it. Sorry <3

 

[KadathianStr1d3r]

I feel this way too, what really is the point of trying if youre just going to fail again and again? For me its just a horrible feeling and I jusy want to go jump off san fran bridge because of so many bad thoughts like this! Its a horrible mind set but I do hope that you are able to find a way out of it unlike me.

 

[Andthesunsank]

I can't give you an answer as its up to a person to decide whether you can find purpose or if there even is such thing.

But, I can point you to The Myth of Sysiphus by Camus. Not saying its gonna help, its just a good read I think. Can bolster some thoughts on how to cope in this existence.

The Myth of Sysiphus

 

[Rachel]

Well if you aren't a shallow person obsessed with making $$$ and buying things and don't have any responsibilities, then there is no point... Because that is pretty much, how people are forced to live their lives. But if you aren't that kind of person, the world still has some things to offer, that you may want to experience before you CTB. Like exploring the world, for example.

I want to explore the world, but you need money to do that. I can't even hold a job :(

I wanna tell you that you're not the only one that feels like this, and you're not crazy and messed up more-so than many others. You're not defective, I promise. You're just as wonderful and capable, and screwed up in the head as the people you see on TV and the women that ring up your groceries and the lady on the corner, singing for money.

We've all got our shit. Some people can make it through life with it, hiding it, some of us wear our issues on our sleeves. No matter your condition, you get to choose, man. You gonna carry that shit proudly and make a statement? Make yourself something, maybe? Or maybe not. Cause even just surviving is goooood enough, that's a hard thing these days. I'd say it's pretty badass.

It's also okay to surrender, though. If you go through your options that entail being alive and find that none of them seem worth it, by all means. Do your thing, doll. I understand that pushing through life with such burdens doesn't sound enticing for more than half of our population here, but it's an option.

I hope that if you wanna get better, you go DO just that, because you can do it!! It won't be easy, but most things that are worth achieving are, unfortunately, more than a-skip-and-a-hop away.


I hope this made sense. I haven't slept right and I'm loopy cause of it. Sorry <3

Can I write your words down in my journal so that I can read it again next time I'm feeling like crap? Its been such a struggle. And its hard to find people to talk to who truly understands, so really I appreciate this

I can't give you an answer as its up to a person to decide whether you can find purpose or if there even is such thing.

But, I can point you to The Myth of Sysiphus by Camus. Not saying its gonna help, its just a good read I think. Can bolster some thoughts on how to cope in this existence.

The Myth of Sysiphus

Thanks! I'll check it out

 

[Weems]

I know :( a passive lifestyle sabotaged me

Ah yes. Another story like mine. We sink farther and farther into sloth as we grow up. Nothing seems worth doing. The kids on their way to success seem like suckers. Don't they know that school is work and graduation is retirement? Just read a novel, watch a movie, have a toke...

Oh wait, that school thing was preparation, training for life? And if you did well at it, you could attain a high place in the socio-economic hierarchy? Huh! So you're supposed to learn and grow and network and train under mentors. Interesting. It's almost like being the smart kid who never tries is a recipe for apocalyptic horror in your mid-late 20s. Who knew!

 

[Dead beat dad]

I feel so broken, and mentally messed up. Part of me wants to try to get better, but whats the point if Im gonna keep messing up, and having to live with a broken brain?

I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.
Have you had the chance to do some kind things for people who don't expect and are not used to kindness?
I hope you can find some answers to what you're looking for sister
DBD

 

[LaBrava]

I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.

That sums it up so well.

 

[Rachel]

I'm sorry for your pain sister. That lament if being tired of living, but scared of dying, as it were is so familiar to so many.
Have you had the chance to do some kind things for people who don't expect and are not used to kindness?
I hope you can find some answers to what you're looking for sister
DBD

Ive thought about doing random acts of kindness but never actually done it. I live in a city and thought about making small like gift bags and handing them out to strangers. Or using my coffee markouts (used to work at starbucks) and giving the coffee to the homeless. My lazy butt had never actually done any of that though.