Venting How does anyone get through a single day?

[kunikuzushi]

This is so unbearably painful. I'm diagnosed with bpd and I've been living in constant torture for as long as I remember.

I seriously don't know how I'm supposed to stay alive any longer. I'm either tortured from the hell of being alone or tortured from thinking everyone hates me and is going to leave me. On top of this, I can't feel positive emotions from anything when I'm alone. I'm going insane.

I have my SN. I've been planning my death for 6 years, but I'm stuck here because I can't hurt my best friend, my boyfriend, and my mom. I really can't. But how am I supposed to get through another day? Every day I get closer to thinking I need to just finally do what's best for me and end this pain.

 

[kopebaldy]

Put my head down, stop thinking too much, one foot in front of another, keep walking until the day I can't anymore.

Because what else can people like us do?

Life is already tiring, if I flip out and let my emotions loose, it will get harder.

 

[58Alice85]

I consume around 500 mg of caffeine a day in coffees and colas

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

Simply being tortured until the sky gets dark and the day comes to an end. The day is filled with terrible ocd symptoms, emptiness, emotional numbness and also with a wish to finally being freed from this nightmare by hanging myself.
And that happens day after day after day after day - an endless circle of suffering

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand finding it so painful to exist, I always find it so torturous to suffer in this cruel, futile existence, it really sounds like you've suffered so much, I wish you the best.

 

[darksouls]

I suffer from severe depression, I vegetate away, alone in my fortress of solitude

 

[itwillhappensoon]

I suffer from schizophrenia every single day , mainly the negative symptoms because zyprexa takes care of positive ones , but my life has been torture ever since I had this disease and I wish I was never born

 

[Lady_V]

substances

 

[fazzle]

Honestly don't know how I cope in the evenings without a few drinks. Alcohol has ironically kept me alive for over 15 years without becoming a full blown alcoholic

 

[failedmind]

I have to constantly distract myself with a video game or something. It still doesnt work all the way but at least its something. Also crying and laying in the bed. I also can't leave just yet because of my mom and my boyfriend. I'm still hoping to in the next year though but I need to stick it out a little bit longer for them. But its so hard. Everyday is complete torture

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

Videogames, freak stuff and a little bit of beer and sometimes K.

In fact if it wasnt for the chronic pain I even like my life xD. I ve come to the conclusion that life is so hard that just simply resting, having free time and being entertained is an enormous privilege

 

[Irisse]

Tbh it's mostly about distractions for me. I listen to music on youtube and sometimes I might doodle something in a sketchbook. Lots of maladaptive daydreaming as well. I hope it things get better for you.

 

[LastLoveSong]

i dont understand how people bear being conscious

 

[deep-sleeper]

I survive by disassociating most of the time. Life is painful and the real world is boring