How hard is it to attempt?

[lotus11]

This is a message to anyone who's actually genuinely attempted before but somehow is still here. Or people that really tried but when it came down to the last moment just couldnt manage to do it.

How difficult is it to break the SI barrier and actually do it? Do you think there is any advice mentally or physically that you could give to get through the last moment and finally do it?

 

[gothbird]

I've overdosed multiple times. I've tried to bleed out. I've woken up in hospital with nothing left but the shame of failure and the ache of still being here. So I'll be blunt.

Breaking the survival instinct doesn't happen like a light switch. Your body will beg to live even when your mind is absolutely certain it wants to die. That's the biology. Your heart races, your hands shake, your vision narrows. Everything feels like it's closing in, because it is. And unless you've faced it head on and I mean really stared it down with the final dose in your hand or your wrists open and bleeding, you can't fully grasp how primal it is. That last moment is a wall made of nerves and instinct and everything your body is hardwired to protect.

What helped me get closest? Precision. Control. Knowing every step in advance. Practising. Accepting that fear will come but not letting it dictate the outcome. Taking benzos to mute the panic helps. Having no second guessing—just action. But more than anything: not giving yourself the chance to delay. SI loses its power when there's nothing left to stop for.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I've never really attempted but I hit rock bottom around the time when I made my account here. Instead of just proceeding with my plan (CO with charcoal), sealing the room, lighting the charcoal, I searched for a "suicide community" although I had the best chances to just go ahead with my plan and be done with that ... well, here I am.