How much damage would your public image take if your private chats and private life were exposed?

[noname223]

I can remember when the legal team of Johnny Depp said in the defamation trial against Amber Heart "No one would look good if their private chats got leaked". He got a massive hit in his public reputation for vulgar and violent language. Do you think one can still say this reflects his true character? Are people more real behind closed doors? How much does this reveal about themselves? In public we always want to portray a certain image of us.

I am not sure. I think in my self-help group I want to portray a certain ideal image of me that does not always reflect my personal me.

With 2-3 friends I make more edgy and dark humor jokes. Some might would consider them offensive. I would not do them with them if I did not know they were good people with good intentions. For me the context matters for those jokes. And I try not to offend anyone with them. Some might consider this double standards and hypocrisy. But I think intentions matters when it come to these jokes. When I know these jokes could hurt my friends I would not do them. Noone is really hurt by my jokes. And I think actions speak louder than words. In my behavior I try to scrutinize me very crticially but when it comes to jokes with close friends I allow myself some grey area.

What about you?

From private actions actually being a mass poster on Sanctioned Suicide might be considered the most evil deed of mine.

But I don't work and I am not a public figure. I don't have much reputation to lose.

 

[Dejected 55]

I think a couple of things are true. People, most people, are more than the brief snippets of them that you often see. Some people who appear brash and uncaring and short can be deep thinkers and caring people if you saw them at other times from their private life... Similarly, super nice seeming people in public might be monsters if you knew what was in their brain.

Some serial killers kidnap their prey by appearing kind or vulnerable to lure them in... Some really nice people have "I don't give a fuck" energy that drives most people away before they can learn their true kindness.

I think there are very few instances where one action or one thought or one statement should be the end-all-be-all of a person. I mean, if all your life you are kind and never say anything bad about anyone and then one day you just start raping women... well... that's kind of your legacy now dude. Don't care how nice you were before that. You're done.

But what about people who like to watch violent movies? Does that make them secretly mean? Do they watch movies because they don't want to get caught actually hurting others? IF you believe that... then what about the writers and actors and everyone who creates those movies? Are they monsters too because they thought it up? Where do you draw the line between thoughts and actions?

If you found out your neighbor thought about you all the time and masturbated at home in privacy to thoughts of you... then, that might very well be creepy and bother you. I completely get that reaction! But if you only found out because you accidentally saw through a crack in his blinds or because a friend of his outed him for some reason... and otherwise the guy never did or said anything to you or anyone else that would have given him away... is he evil? I mean, yesterday before you knew you wouldn't have thought so... what changes today? And if you throw him under the bus... how do you know another neighbor isn't doing worse and you just don't know it yet?

Life is full of nuance and context... and knee-jerk reactions too.

A person's random private musings can ruin his or her life... but if their secret private kindness was revealed that only makes a blip in the news for a day or two.

A person unjustly accused of something they didn't do can ruin a reputation forever... even after the truth comes out and they are exonerated... people still avoid a falsely accused person because he was accused... but he literally never did anything wrong to begin with... meanwhile a person is revealed to be secretly charitable gets kind thoughts for a day but then if you see him say something mildly offensive he's a jerk forever.

People are weird.

 

[Cauliflour]

If all my private chats/life was exposed then I'll probably be in a mental hospital right now. I'm very secretive for a reason :)

 

[bankai]

I'm pretty sure someone being a prolific poster on SASU is something most normal people can't contend with. They'll think there's something wrong with you, of course, if they find out.
I've set up 2FA for my account here so that no one else can login.My iPad and my mobile phone are extremely secure with multiple types of security like fingerprint and retinal scanning.

However, my posts are pretty tame. There's nothing controversial or political or offensive or violent. I like dark jokes myself, but I edit them several times in my mind and refrain from posting them for fear of offending anyone.I don't think anyone should be hurt here, they're already suffering enough.Even the few that seem to be angry all the time.

 

[Celerity]

I'd be even more alienated than I already am with the vast majority of people finding me even stranger than they already do. My parents would probably try to pressure me into hospitalization. I have tried to explain that this is what my baseline looks like, but they can't fathom it.

 

[Rynalia]

Nothing would change, because no one actually cares. Dismissed surprisingly fast.

"Oh no! Anyways."

 

[Daphne]

None. When you get old, you stop caring, It's liberating.

 

[SilentSadness]

Well no one actually cares about me anyway, so most likely zero.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Always assume anything you say or do is public knowledge. That was true even before the internet. I don't have the energy or brain cells to manage multiple false fronts. No one would be surprised, and best of all as others have stated, no one would notice or care. It's nice being worthless and unknown.