how often do you all think of suicide?

[pulleditnearlyoff]

as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)

I think I have these thoughts 75% of the time (of every single day, and night), for more than two years now.

 

[FrownyFace]

as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)

The thought passes my mind at least once a day, even if I'm feeling reasonably ok. I just find myself thinking that happiness is temporary and that realistically, my life is still shit. Sometimes the thoughts are extremely violent, and sometimes they're just "I wish I was dead" or "I should be dead"

 

[TheMountainTreeEgg]

I've started to think about it a lot more often recently (maybe every day or every other day?). Unfortunately, I'm not at a level in which I'm ready to attempt or look at methods yet.

 

[SilentSadness]

All day everyday of course, when I first started thinking of suicide many years ago I very quickly looked for methods. I realised it just wasn't possible for me since this world is a prison, and since then I've always been thinking of suicide, it would be very ideal for me and I literally hate being here. I have no desire to endure the painful trials that are to come, this is such a disgusting waste of time. And how could I not think of suicide, when everyone is so vehemently against it, so eager to put you in chains.

 

[greebo6]

Every day.
But always especially today (31st Dec) .

 

[Nowhere Anon]

I've been thinking about it every single day. There are a few days in which I think I should try to recover, but they don't last long and soon again I'm suicidal again.

 

[hereornot]

Many times every day...

 

[Peace2peace]

Everyday I come to this site every fucking day

 

[heyy]

when I wake up and all day long

 

[xoxo24]

Everyday at night for the last 6 years, increased much more this past year

 

[nomoredolor]

Frequent intervals throughout the day
Anna

 

[girl.tiredoflife2]

as i find myself getting older and still facing my mental health issues and suicidal thoughts i've realized that i've just increasingly grown more suicidal despite efforts to get better and now having different reasons to be.

these past few months have been especially hard, as i've genuinely thought about suicide. every. single. day.

i can distract myself for a little, maybe even a while, but eventually i'll go back to feeling like i want to die. or that i should've been dead already. or that i have to die.

and, without fail, these thoughts happen at the very least once day (though it's most often more than once).

so, i was just curious about how often you all think about suicide and in what ways it manifests?

also, this is my first post so hi everyone! :)

Pretty much all the time then I get frustrated when I don't feel confident with my plans then I want to end it even more.

 

[AshClouds]

All of the time, since adolescence.

 

[requiemforadream]

Every. Single. Day. For year or so now.

 

[perfumeonmyneck]

everyday.
somedays it's more in depth thinking but it's always there.

 

[harlow-paige]

whenever my brain goes quiet it defaults back to those thoughts

 

[Starburst]

For me it's about every hour unless I'm 100% focused on something and not dissociating at that moment.

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

Everyday for the past 28 years.

 

[lnlybnny]

i think about it all the time, i have some relief when something good happens, but it comes back so quickly. for example, today i was feeling a bit positive, but the thoughts came back in the afternoon like a brick wall upon me. sometimes i think i'd never be able to lead a normal life, because at the SMALLEST inconvenience my first thought is ctb, and it's been like this for over ten years

 

[CogitoMori]

I don't think there's a time when I'm not thinking about it, unless I'm extremely distracted or focused with something else atm.

 

[Arrival03]

At least once a day

 

[SoulWhisperer]

Every single waking moment of my life, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. The only thing that changed is what I do about it or how strong/concrete the Impulses are...

 

[human909]

Every single day. I hate myself.

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

normally around twice a day as a baseline

 

[Ravel]

everyday when I wake up

 

[iwantmycatback]

Welcome to the forums and thank you for opening a discussion about this.

My suicidal thoughts have been there since I was a very young child due to my abuse at home. I tried to strangle myself with a scarf when I was 9 years old (lol) stupid child brain thinking that was a valid option. I've been in and out of treatments and hospitals for a long time now. The thoughts faded in the background as life developed.

It's now been many years and (as my username implies) my soul died when my cat died. I told my partner that the day my cat died would be the day that I died, and I was right. Ever since then I've thought about suicide every day of my life for the past 4 years or so (I don't really keep track of time, plurality and days blending together when everything is so internal). It's a constant and it feels like a "when", not "if". My soul is dead and I don't know why I can't will my body to go with it.

 

[HereWeGo!]

I've already been writing in this thread in December so time for a little update:
I think about suicide at least EVERY.F*CKING.MINUTE! Statistically it makes me think about it around 1000 times a day. Wonderful!

 

[thrsgn]

Its kind of like wanting food or needing to pee. You might not be thinking about it all the time but the urge will hit you at some point, probably a lot of points over the day.

 

[ButterflyKilled]

Every time I remember I am alive, so basically anytime.
Since 2020, when I finally accepted myself as suicidal, but never could get good methods (I tried with legal drugs, but nothing happened).
I do not understand how I am not crazy yet.

 

[manicstreetbeeper]

maybe i'm an outlier but i really try to not; unfortunately the thoughts still come to me a lot.