Unfortunately, I'm in love with my best friend. It's a love that is sadly unrequited, and the truth is I've been unable to get over it for years. I've spent years trying to find someone who makes me feel the same way she does, but I haven't been able to. I'd give everything for her. But I've decided I can't live with this weight in my chest any longer… For some reason, I've planned to overwork myself in the coming months, make a lot of money, CBT, and leave everything I earn to her. I want her to have it all, even if I'm not around, everything I couldn't give her while I was alive. At this point, I've tried every possible way to heal… We've stopped talking, we've started talking again. This for almost 12 years. Whatever happens, we always return to the same place. I just want to rest and avoid the unbearable pain of the day she finds someone else and starts a family with someone who isn't me. I just want to make a lot of money in the next few months, leave it all to her, and finally be able to rest.
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BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 241
Have you tried telling her about how you feel about her, and expressing your feelings for her? Does she know?
Yes, unfortunately she said she doesn't feel the same way
BlueButterfly111
Autistic and Heartbroken
- Dec 26, 2024
- 241
DM12
New Member
- Mar 16, 2025
- 1
Tu historia me hace recordar al libro que se llama las penas del joven werther
Worndown
Illuminated
- Mar 21, 2019
- 3,480
It is difficult to turn that into real freindship. The kind that leaves you happy as her life progresses.
Have you sought any form of therapy? You probably need outside input to manage this. It can be done.
Have you sought any form of therapy? You probably need outside input to manage this. It can be done.
Innereye
Know thy self
- Jan 18, 2020
- 303
You need to walk away from this person's orbit my friend. Detach or be tortured. Called 'friend zone' for a reason.
You aren't in love. you've been gamed and simpifified badly. Reading this split my head open.
You aren't in love. you've been gamed and simpifified badly. Reading this split my head open.
The_Hunter
What respect is there in death?
- Nov 30, 2024
- 333
Friend love can be just as strong as romantic love.
You may not feel the same way as she does right now. But perhaps your feelings will change, you will be able to manifest your emotions in ways different from romance, and transfer your love from romantic to platonic.
A good friend is a good friend. Romance or not does not diminish that at all, I assure you.
Friend, I think it would be best for you if you perhaps find a way to view your care for this person outside of the very restrictive "romantic or not" box that society builds for us. There are six different attraction types. Romantic attraction is just one of them! There's emotional, aesthetic, sensual, sexual, romantic, and maybe even others. Just because you may not be able to engage sexually or sensually (touch-wise) with this person may not mean there's no more solace to be had with them :)
Side note, sometimes romantic attraction is difficult to control and we can't help but keep falling for the same person if we are in their proximity. That is understandable, and it's good to admit this and work with this in mind.
By the way, have you considered that you might potentially be experiencing something called limerence? Essentially, a crush that will not fade at all and persists to a debilitating degree, much more than expected. There is much scientific research on this and even a whole online community [subreddit] dedicated to dealing with these emotions. You're not alone, friend, many people have experienced what you have. There is much documented experience with what you feel, and you're not crazy or insane for experiencing this. It's normal to fall in love with people. (Especially ones we are emotionally close to.) I promise you that you are not a bad person merely for feeling this. Mistakes and lapses of morality are capable of being repaired, because we are who we currently are, not just some arbitrary average of something we have done.
Society always tells you that you must find your 'other half', but the truth is, we are complete people by ourselves, and the best relationships are two people working together, as opposed to a dependence that ends up harming us. You yourself deserve to feel whole, and I firmly believe that is possible without a romantic partner. Oftentimes the most important connections in our lives are nonromantic, easily platonic, easily friendwise. This ought to be noted, I feel.
You don't have to limit yourself to this person. Romance can transcend particular people and pour into other aspects as well; art, literature, work, any work of humanity. All the emotions you feel towards this person can exist in non-human objects as well. That passion can find home in hobbies, words, art, experiences; friends, mentors; sights, sounds, anything.
Good luck, friend. Many have felt what you have felt, and you are not alone in this. It is not impossible for you to transcend beyond this person and find a new way of living. It will certainly feel difficult. But it always seems impossible until it's done. :)
You may not feel the same way as she does right now. But perhaps your feelings will change, you will be able to manifest your emotions in ways different from romance, and transfer your love from romantic to platonic.
A good friend is a good friend. Romance or not does not diminish that at all, I assure you.
Friend, I think it would be best for you if you perhaps find a way to view your care for this person outside of the very restrictive "romantic or not" box that society builds for us. There are six different attraction types. Romantic attraction is just one of them! There's emotional, aesthetic, sensual, sexual, romantic, and maybe even others. Just because you may not be able to engage sexually or sensually (touch-wise) with this person may not mean there's no more solace to be had with them :)
Side note, sometimes romantic attraction is difficult to control and we can't help but keep falling for the same person if we are in their proximity. That is understandable, and it's good to admit this and work with this in mind.
By the way, have you considered that you might potentially be experiencing something called limerence? Essentially, a crush that will not fade at all and persists to a debilitating degree, much more than expected. There is much scientific research on this and even a whole online community [subreddit] dedicated to dealing with these emotions. You're not alone, friend, many people have experienced what you have. There is much documented experience with what you feel, and you're not crazy or insane for experiencing this. It's normal to fall in love with people. (Especially ones we are emotionally close to.) I promise you that you are not a bad person merely for feeling this. Mistakes and lapses of morality are capable of being repaired, because we are who we currently are, not just some arbitrary average of something we have done.
Society always tells you that you must find your 'other half', but the truth is, we are complete people by ourselves, and the best relationships are two people working together, as opposed to a dependence that ends up harming us. You yourself deserve to feel whole, and I firmly believe that is possible without a romantic partner. Oftentimes the most important connections in our lives are nonromantic, easily platonic, easily friendwise. This ought to be noted, I feel.
You don't have to limit yourself to this person. Romance can transcend particular people and pour into other aspects as well; art, literature, work, any work of humanity. All the emotions you feel towards this person can exist in non-human objects as well. That passion can find home in hobbies, words, art, experiences; friends, mentors; sights, sounds, anything.
Good luck, friend. Many have felt what you have felt, and you are not alone in this. It is not impossible for you to transcend beyond this person and find a new way of living. It will certainly feel difficult. But it always seems impossible until it's done. :)
thankyouforthis
Member
- Jun 13, 2022
- 57
I bet if you think about it long enough, you can pinpoint a few things that are less-than-lovable about her. That might help 
threevoices
Member
- Aug 24, 2024
- 11
i just experienced this with my best friend, i just ended up telling him since my brain is so dysfunctional when it comes to romance, that the moment i "confess" i immediately lose all romantic attraction. though you said you did already tell her and that it persists so im not sure how exactly i could help, i hope you can find peace soon 
