I came back to Sanctioned Suicide because I have nowhere else to go

[FireFox]

The months I was away from Sanactioned Suicide I admit I have been feeling so isolated.

Postgraduate year is more lonely than undergraduate year. Undergraduate is it easier to make friends and hang out because everyone is one place in campus whereas postgraduate all my classmates are scattered living in different parts of London and have lectures in different campuses across London. I got to a university with a high number of international students who go home during holiday season which makes it harder to make friends to hang out with. The guys have girlfriends or wives that they brought with them. The ones that don't it never works out.

I bond with other men at university but it never works it no matter how hard I try. I really thought i would meet a guy at university. My dating pool is shrinking rapidly as i age. My grandmother says " wait until you start working"

After everything that 55 year old man put through at work i am absolutely terried of going near another man at work.

I given up all hope of ever finding love. I dont want to be alone in this world and for me I see suicide as my way out. Having a relationship means everything to me. When my mum and grandmother die I am going to be all alone. My relatives do not care about me. If I have a husband and family of my own I will never be lonely. People don't understand how much getting married means to me.

 

[bankai]

Seems like you've set nice goals for yourself. You are doing a postgraduate degree. You're trying to get married. Please keep working at it. If that's what you want, you will achieve it.There are a lot of like minded young men out there. Shouldn't be too difficult to snag one

 

[Dejected 55]

All I ever wanted was to meet a girl and learn, grow, experience, build a home and life together with her. But I'm unlovable and unwanted and alone. I am increasingly ever-closer each day to the hopeful end of existence that will end that pain.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not something I've been willing to pursue other than to sign up the once but, have you considered online dating? They're not all 'hook up' sites. When I gave it a shot, it was eHarmony. Some of them try to match you with people with core beliefs and values.

It felt kind of weird and unnatural and ultimately, I realised I was too shy and ashamed of how I look. The effort was too much for me too. I don't really enjoy being female and, who really wants to date a slob? Lol.

Having said all that though, it makes more sense really. Why leave it so much to chance to find someone randomly in public that we'll likely have enough in common with?

I suppose I feel like for someone so determined- which you clearly are- and that's a great thing. Why not try all you can to get the thing you want so much?

A friend did say to me once- I've worked so hard to get the career I wanted. I have given my all to my degrees. I've worked all hours- for free sometimes. I've worked my arse off. Moved hundreds of miles around the country for jobs. She was like- great but- you need to put that same effort into other areas of your life too.

It sounds as if you are- trying to befriend guys at college- which is great. Plus, I understand the disappointment. Each new guy I knew I'd be meeting because of work, I'd have this crazy, unrealistic hope that they would be the one. But, it was kind of crazy. Maybe what- 15, 20, 30 men in the whole of the world's population and, we're hoping one of them will be for us? It does happen of course but, how realistic is it really?

Asides from your college course, do you belong to clubs, sports teams etc? I think sharing a common interest is often how people meet. Amateur dramatics. I've known loads of couples meet there.

I just feel like it's worth pulling out all the stops when you have something you want so much. There again, it's you who has to put yourself through it again. It has to be your choice ultimately.

 

[bankai]

Reminds me of the famous line from An Officer and a Gentleman.

 

[Dejected 55]

It's not something I've been willing to pursue other than to sign up the once but, have you considered online dating? They're not all 'hook up' sites. When I gave it a shot, it was eHarmony. Some of them try to match you with people with core beliefs and values.

Speaking for me (not the OP) dating sites these days are a crock. Back in my late twenties and early thirties I did get a handful of dates from online sites. I didn't get relationships and only once had a second date... but at least I got a first date. But somewhere along the line the dating sites all became crap. I've posted elsewhere about this.

Lots of scammers or otherwise false accounts. Lots of people who aren't who they say they are, even if it's not a scam. The only potentially real people are the handful of people that are only interested in perfection across the board so they are looking at a limited pool, and honestly probably aren't being successful at that because there are so few of them who are legitimate non-scam accounts on there.

On top of all that, you have to pay to have any decent access at sites to see who "matched" with you before you match, or even the ability to match, with them and communicate. You have to pay to be shown to others even on some sites.

It's actually way easier to meet someone in the real world, and we all know how next to impossible that is.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Speaking for me (not the OP) dating sites these days are a crock. Back in my late twenties and early thirties I did get a handful of dates from online sites. I didn't get relationships and only once had a second date... but at least I got a first date. But somewhere along the line the dating sites all became crap. I've posted elsewhere about this.

Lots of scammers or otherwise false accounts. Lots of people who aren't who they say they are, even if it's not a scam. The only potentially real people are the handful of people that are only interested in perfection across the board so they are looking at a limited pool, and honestly probably aren't being successful at that because there are so few of them who are legitimate non-scam accounts on there.

On top of all that, you have to pay to have any decent access at sites to see who "matched" with you before you match, or even the ability to match, with them and communicate. You have to pay to be shown to others even on some sites.

It's actually way easier to meet someone in the real world, and we all know how next to impossible that is.

They are fair points. I guess the whole of the internet can be pretty dodgy.