
Hollow Point
A̵l̷w̷a̷y̸s̷ ̷t̸i̸r̵e̸d̶
- Mar 24, 2020
- 120
So many times have I come across the person who sees I dont fit the profile of a homeless, and they judge. Like I catch slack for having a phone with a plan and data all the time. Using headphones or showing anything of value really. If you have anything, you're not really desperate. If I was so desperate for money, I would sell my phone and headphones and watch and such right? What am I doing on the internet? Clearly I'm just lazy right?
I hate this mentality so much. What are we supposed to sell these things for? A few meals? A few nights at a air bnb? How are we supposed to be able to land work, if we can't be contacted. It's not like they are going to swing by the shelter and leave a note saying where to meet tomorrow. They can't track you down under a bridge to let you know the start time tomorrow. It's just such a surface level way of looking at the situation.
And another thing, we deserve the down time on the internet. The only other socializing I have for me outside the internet is with people who can't tell what planet we are on, so excuse me for trying to have a normal conversation with somebody. The general public seems scared of me so striking up one in person is hard.
There is only so much you can do in a day to find work. You have to spend time waiting in food lines if you're hungry, or just simply focusing on not freezing to death. Ontop of waking up at the crack of dawn and walking like 15km a day. I check job listing every hour and send them my resume. That takes me like 5-10 mins every hour. I've already dropped off resumes within a area I can walk to and from, while still making it back by 9:45pm (when shelter closes doors and I'll lose my cot). All this constant stress and hustle going on, and people still think I'm "wasting" my time on the internet. These are the same people that will sit on their ass on the internet from the moment they get from work, until they go to their comfy bed, but somehow IM the lazier one?
My smartphone is quite literally my main lifeline attached onto the boat of success. Without it, I would have 1 hour a day at the library to do everything, that's it. How would having $100 in my pocket make that situation better? I can get food 3 times a day if I wait in line. There are ways to eat for free, at least where I'm from. If you go hungry, it's because you were too busy to line up..but it doesn't mean you'll starve to death. I can live fine of one of the shelters meals a day.
Like, I'm trying my best not to sound rude, but it's just annoying to see that people who dont take care of themselves get sympathy, when I dont get the time of day because I dont pull on their heart strings enough? I'm sorry I'm not some sob story who want to guilt you into spare change. I see the people who pan handle at night. It's not secret what they are spending your money on. You're not helping them by giving them money. Give food if you want to help, or a bus ticket or something.
And having little luxuries like headphones or accessories keep me sane. I'd probably get $50 for everything besides my phone. I rather be able to block out the yelling and screaming and snoring, as well as tune out the world for a bit and get lost in some music, instead of eating some unhealthy fast food meals or something. It's like they expect us to get off our feet in the hardest possible scenarios. Blows my mind some people can't understand this.
I hate this mentality so much. What are we supposed to sell these things for? A few meals? A few nights at a air bnb? How are we supposed to be able to land work, if we can't be contacted. It's not like they are going to swing by the shelter and leave a note saying where to meet tomorrow. They can't track you down under a bridge to let you know the start time tomorrow. It's just such a surface level way of looking at the situation.
And another thing, we deserve the down time on the internet. The only other socializing I have for me outside the internet is with people who can't tell what planet we are on, so excuse me for trying to have a normal conversation with somebody. The general public seems scared of me so striking up one in person is hard.
There is only so much you can do in a day to find work. You have to spend time waiting in food lines if you're hungry, or just simply focusing on not freezing to death. Ontop of waking up at the crack of dawn and walking like 15km a day. I check job listing every hour and send them my resume. That takes me like 5-10 mins every hour. I've already dropped off resumes within a area I can walk to and from, while still making it back by 9:45pm (when shelter closes doors and I'll lose my cot). All this constant stress and hustle going on, and people still think I'm "wasting" my time on the internet. These are the same people that will sit on their ass on the internet from the moment they get from work, until they go to their comfy bed, but somehow IM the lazier one?
My smartphone is quite literally my main lifeline attached onto the boat of success. Without it, I would have 1 hour a day at the library to do everything, that's it. How would having $100 in my pocket make that situation better? I can get food 3 times a day if I wait in line. There are ways to eat for free, at least where I'm from. If you go hungry, it's because you were too busy to line up..but it doesn't mean you'll starve to death. I can live fine of one of the shelters meals a day.
Like, I'm trying my best not to sound rude, but it's just annoying to see that people who dont take care of themselves get sympathy, when I dont get the time of day because I dont pull on their heart strings enough? I'm sorry I'm not some sob story who want to guilt you into spare change. I see the people who pan handle at night. It's not secret what they are spending your money on. You're not helping them by giving them money. Give food if you want to help, or a bus ticket or something.
And having little luxuries like headphones or accessories keep me sane. I'd probably get $50 for everything besides my phone. I rather be able to block out the yelling and screaming and snoring, as well as tune out the world for a bit and get lost in some music, instead of eating some unhealthy fast food meals or something. It's like they expect us to get off our feet in the hardest possible scenarios. Blows my mind some people can't understand this.