Venting I hate how I look.

[musingsofaghost]

People tell me I am not ugly. I've been told countless times before. But I can't convince myself that this is true. AT ALL. I can't stand to hear compliments because of this. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel otherwise. All I see is a girl with cheeks too fat, eyes too close together, disproportionate lips. I could go on for hours. I can't love myself and I don't know what to do. I want to change my mind so bad but I can't. I'm so tired of this. I want it to stop. I hate myself so much I just want to die. I know it's my brain sabotaging me - that no one else thinks the same way I do, but I can't help it. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[soledad.virgen]

it's hard being uncomfortable with oneself. as a kid i thought "well maybe ill be better looking when im older or ill least be used to it" but even now when i look in the mirror i obsess over flaws and just feel unhappy. it's just not fair i guess

 

[SomewhatLoved]

When I was young I was so subconscious about birthmarks I have on my face/neck that I literally cut them off with a razorblade. One is on the nape of my neck though, so it was hard to see what I was doing and got messy and my mom noticed. Not a fun situation, lol.

Anyways, it's awful. It can be so intense you literally go to the point of self mutilation to try and stop it. I had a friend around that time who told me they had stopped looking in the mirror entirely because they hate how they look, and I've found that has sort of helped me too. It makes me sad as shit to think about though, and I wish I could look in the mirror of take pictures of myself but it's the only thing that has really worked so far.

 

[Jadeith]

People tell me I am not ugly. I've been told countless times before. But I can't convince myself that this is true. AT ALL. I can't stand to hear compliments because of this. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel otherwise. All I see is a girl with cheeks too fat, eyes too close together, disproportionate lips. I could go on for hours. I can't love myself and I don't know what to do. I want to change my mind so bad but I can't. I'm so tired of this. I want it to stop. I hate myself so much I just want to die. I know it's my brain sabotaging me - that no one else thinks the same way I do, but I can't help it. I don't know what to do anymore.

Same here but with male version. Can't stand mirrors, hate being in the pictures or vids, can't stand my voice, hate my reactions. Tried to work on it but to no avail. And people telling me otherwise literally piss me off because that's not what i see and i immediately take it as crude attempt to cheer me up with white lie.

 

[thereisnoneed]

i want to throw up everytime i look at the mirror, but i learned to live with, accept my self and i realized the self hating or whinning will not change anything

People tell me I am not ugly. I've been told countless times before. But I can't convince myself that this is true. AT ALL. I can't stand to hear compliments because of this. Every time I look in the mirror, I feel otherwise. All I see is a girl with cheeks too fat, eyes too close together, disproportionate lips. I could go on for hours. I can't love myself and I don't know what to do. I want to change my mind so bad but I can't. I'm so tired of this. I want it to stop. I hate myself so much I just want to die. I know it's my brain sabotaging me - that no one else thinks the same way I do, but I can't help it. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[w1ngedpearl]

I can relate. It's hard to live with these feelings. I've always hated my appearance. I'm fat, have a hideous body, ugly face, hate my voice, can't stand taking pictures, being on videos. Every time I tried to take a selfie, I ended up deleting it because I'm not photogenic and my face has unattractive mimics. When I go outside, I always put makeup on. I still look ugly even with makeup but it helps a bit. When I'm outside, it feels like all the people are looking at me, laughing at me, discussing me. I was so naive that as a kid I thought "Maybe I'll be beautiful when grow up". Yeah, sure... I hate my appearance so much that I feel ashamed to exist, talk to people and imagine what they think about me. It sucks but I gave up on that.

 

[thereisnoneed]

I can relate. It's hard to live with these feelings. I've always hated my appearance. I'm fat, have a hideous body, ugly face, hate my voice, can't stand taking pictures, being on videos. Every time I tried to take a selfie, I ended up deleting it because I'm not photogenic and my face has unattractive mimics. When I go outside, I always put makeup on. I still look ugly even with makeup but it helps a bit. When I'm outside, it feels like all the people are looking at me, laughing at me, discussing me. I was so naive that as a kid I thought "Maybe I'll be beautiful when grow up". Yeah, sure... I hate my appearance so much that I feel ashamed to exist, talk to people and imagine what they think about me. It sucks but I gave up on that.

it's worse when you are a female, because males are not expected to take care of their looks (am a male) compared to females.

 

[byebyeblondie]

I can relate to this feeling. People tell me I'm pretty but I think they're lying and I feel really uncomfortable when they try to compliment me. My past relationships haven't helped. Guys I've dated have often told me I should be lucky I'm with them because they could get better/ prettier/ smarter etc etc. I'm not somebody that people notice either so I know they're right when they say I should be lucky.

What I see in the reflection is an overweight, ugly and haggered reflection. People tell me I'm stupid and not to be daft because it's not true but mirrors don't lie. I know I've got a big nose, weird face, shit hair. I want surgery to try fix some of my body so badly but I can't afford it.

Yet I obsess and I stand in front of the mirror looking at all my flaws and getting annoyed or sad about myself. Stupid of me really .

 

[lotus11]

Same here but with male version. Can't stand mirrors, hate being in the pictures or vids, can't stand my voice, hate my reactions. Tried to work on it but to no avail. And people telling me otherwise literally piss me off because that's not what i see and i immediately take it as crude attempt to cheer me up with white lie.

Totally get this, I've avoided photos and videos completely for about 10 years now and if someone takes without me knowing and I accidentally see it I freak the fuck out because I look so weird and awful