I legit need propranolol

[Life_and_Death]

Disclaimer, while yes this can technically be viewed as a medical study considering I'm piecing info together, it's a medical study on me not people with bpd in general.

So lately I've been thinking bpd is like a cog with every second and third tooth missing. A normal person has all of them, meaning their emotion hormones (dopamine, sertonin) is being distriputed evenly. But someone with bpd where teeth are missing is letting out too much causing the overwhelming feeling of emotions we have all the time.
With emotions come physical symptoms. The most common one (I feel) is an increased heart rate.
Anxiety numbness

One important part of these preparations is an increase in blood flow to your muscles and important organs, or the areas of your body that would provide the most support for fighting or fleeing.

Where does that blood come from?

Your extremities, or the parts of your body that aren't as essential to a fight-or-flight situation. This rapid flow of blood away from your hands and feet can often cause temporary numbness.

But it's not just anxiety. Your heart rate can increase because of fear, excitement, drugs and if you're someone with bpd then you have a lot of that. It's normal for my entire upper half to tingle. It's uncomfortable, feels weird, I hate it, it fucks up how I do things and as anyone would know baking takes detail, I can't do detail when I'm shaking 24/7.
The medication can help me. It's job,
Propranolol

This drug works by blocking the action of certain natural chemicals in your body (such as epinephrine) that affect the heart and blood vessels. This effect reduces heart rate, blood pressure, and strain on the heart.

By slowing down my heart rate I shouldn't feel this way anymore.

 

[western_heart]

I have been on propranolol for over a year, it was prescribed for migraines, but has also been helpful in coping with PTSD symptoms and flashbacks.

 

[Life_and_Death]

has also been helpful in coping with PTSD symptoms and flashbacks.

Helpful how if I can ask

 

[western_heart]

Helpful how if I can ask

I am able to think about painful memories without my heart rate spiking / without feeling as anxious. Reduces fight or flight response. It's easier to process whatever is on my mind instead of doing whatever I can to escape what I'm feeling.

Unfortunately I no longer have access to my journal from when I started taking the drug, so I can't tell you exactly what I noticed at first. I do remember that it made me feel anhedonic/depressed if I took it in the morning, so I've been taking it at night. it probably helps with nightmares as well, but I tend not to remember very many dreams (bc of weed) so I am not sure.