Illegal Preclear
The CEO of CTB
- Sep 6, 2022
- 227
(Be forewarned: I've had about 300 calories in the last 36 hours so I don't expect this to be the most coherent post I've ever made). I actually made one last attempt to get better. The date I was supposed to hang was 9/11/2024. You know what stopped me? My dog looked me in the eye and I couldn't bring myself to do it. The one thing I love in this whole world, my dog.
I told my stepmother the one thing that stopped me from hanging was the dog. So she started taunting me that the dog was almost 10 and was going to die soon. She won't let me die. She said she'll just have me sent to the Psychiatric Ward again to be drugged until I can't remember my name. She's done it to me 14 times. I've begged her to let me die. Just let me die. You don't understand the abuse this woman has put me through. And there's not a thing I can do about it because my documentation is false (it's a long story) so I'm not allowed to earn my own money, and if I don't do as she says she now has the power to call ICE on me. I was physically born in New Jersey, just like my mother, but all our documentation is false because we were trafficked. Our heritage is British and Ashkenazi Jewish and we've lived New Jersey since the 1950s. Where on Planet Earth would I go if I were deported? The moon? Most likely I'd just be held at one of Donald Trump's concentration camps indefinitely. This woman owns me and there's nothing I can do about it. If she wants to have me locked in a tiny cell and be kept drugged 24/7 she has the power to do so. If she wants to have me sent to one of Donald Trump's concentration camps, it is in her power to do so (her and my father are million dollar donors, they get to go to Mar-A-Lago and eat off the fancy shmancy plates, ain't that just great for them?)
I'm in Hell. There's no other explanation. I come from a religion that believes in reincarnation, and we believe that if you're born disabled it's because you were a criminal or a person of ill character in your Past Life. Maybe I was Hitler or something and this is why my life is the way it is. I'm suffering because I deserve to suffer. I can't even die because death would end my suffering.
I live in terror 24/7. I just want the terror to stop. I just want the trauma to stop.
I told my stepmother the one thing that stopped me from hanging was the dog. So she started taunting me that the dog was almost 10 and was going to die soon. She won't let me die. She said she'll just have me sent to the Psychiatric Ward again to be drugged until I can't remember my name. She's done it to me 14 times. I've begged her to let me die. Just let me die. You don't understand the abuse this woman has put me through. And there's not a thing I can do about it because my documentation is false (it's a long story) so I'm not allowed to earn my own money, and if I don't do as she says she now has the power to call ICE on me. I was physically born in New Jersey, just like my mother, but all our documentation is false because we were trafficked. Our heritage is British and Ashkenazi Jewish and we've lived New Jersey since the 1950s. Where on Planet Earth would I go if I were deported? The moon? Most likely I'd just be held at one of Donald Trump's concentration camps indefinitely. This woman owns me and there's nothing I can do about it. If she wants to have me locked in a tiny cell and be kept drugged 24/7 she has the power to do so. If she wants to have me sent to one of Donald Trump's concentration camps, it is in her power to do so (her and my father are million dollar donors, they get to go to Mar-A-Lago and eat off the fancy shmancy plates, ain't that just great for them?)
I'm in Hell. There's no other explanation. I come from a religion that believes in reincarnation, and we believe that if you're born disabled it's because you were a criminal or a person of ill character in your Past Life. Maybe I was Hitler or something and this is why my life is the way it is. I'm suffering because I deserve to suffer. I can't even die because death would end my suffering.
I live in terror 24/7. I just want the terror to stop. I just want the trauma to stop.
