Story I told a girl I'm suicidal and she blocked me

[BeansOfRequirement]

are people usually fake when they talk with girls?

I'm very straightforward when it comes to both job interviews and women. So I remain in the basement...

I've heard that honesty is a display of an enormous amount of contempt. In my case, I think that's true. But I also just don't like lying in general. Feels strange to plot and scheme to work minimum wage or to get your short turn with some loose woman when you spend most of your days getting ready to ctb, heh.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

I remember texting a girl when she vented to me about having her thoughts eating away at her and she has to suffer alone, and I related as I had to deal with mom, her fiance, and the nurse who was treating me for serotonin syndrome from my antidepressants, to go inpatient to try out a bunch of meds and crap, when I tried explaining that I don't need meds and they just won't understand why I'm depressed and all that.

Anyway, when she asked how I cope with it, I mentioned the usual coping mechanism I have as well as mentioning that I have the comfort of knowing I can just put an end to my story. She didn't block me, but... her reaction gave me a strong idea that she wouldn't be able to handle it if I ctb.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I told my now GF, that was suicidal, that I'm pro-choice when it comes to suicide before we dated and she said she got more interested in me, and wanted to know more. She didn't become romantically attracted though, but more interested in me, and like me more. We still talk about suicide openly and freely. We talk about how we want to end it in the far future quite casually.

She's no longer suicidal because of me. She wants to live RN and move on with her life because of me. She said I'm the best drug she's ever had. She trusts me more than any of her previous BFs. We plan on ending our lives together in the future when we are old. I've got several peaceful suicide methods ready to go for that faithful day.

 

[Trisolaris]

I've decided to try and date girls again after so long.
However, this time, I'll be honest and explain to them that I'm suicidal since the very beginning so that we have no problems such as pro-life arguments or psych ward suggestions in the near future.

Thus, I started to talking to a girl and had lots of fun because we really had things in common. Then, we started talking about religion, life, death and that's when I said I might ctb someday because I'm not interested in getting much older and find life absurd.

It was then when I realized I had been blocked.

I guess I'll have to get used to this because I will not pretend anymore. I'm suicidal, it's part of me and if a girl wants to date me in spite of this, I'll be more than happy!

Any thoughts? Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

If you really want to have a relationship, you shouldn't mention that you are suicidal. Even suicidal people wouldn't want to be with someone who might take their life one day and this is especially true for those who aren't. You maybe can say that you suffer from mental illness but don't mention suicidality.

 

[Bluescreen]

Well, I would block the Date also if he seemed a bit strange to me, even if I am depressive.
Life is hard enough, I don't need another to make it harder, I am looking for someone to have fun. I don't want a partner from the Psychiatry or who goes to Therapy. This is because I know what Depression, suicidal thoughts asf. means.
If a suicidal guy like me thinks like that, why should a happy Person make troubles himself?

So my suggestion: Keep your thoughts for yourself, have fun if you want to, and if it's time, make it short by saying bye and go.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's such a real catch-22. If you tell someone you're dating that you're suicidal they might either block you or similarly become disinterested in you. If you hide your suicidality and keep it a secret from them, then they can't trust you anymore. The only way through is if you actually find someone who is willing to understand but this is really hard to find in anyone, male or female...

 

[Bluescreen]

It's such a real catch-22. If you tell someone you're dating that you're suicidal they might either block you or similarly become disinterested in you. If you hide your suicidality and keep it a secret from them, then they can't trust you anymore. The only way through is if you actually find someone who is willing to understand but this is really hard to find in anyone, male or female...

But it's my very private life, which even my best friend or my parents are not allowed to ask.
I'd keep it secret. In case you don't do it, you don't get known as a drama king/queen, in case you do it, your least concern will be that the others can't trust you. I'd speak about when I want to cry for help. In any other case, speaking about it does not make any sense.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

But it's my very private life, which even my best friend or my parents are not allowed to ask.
I'd keep it secret. In case you don't do it, you don't get known as a drama king/queen, in case you do it, your least concern will be that the others can't trust you. I'd speak about when I want to cry for help. In any other case, speaking about it does not make any sense.

True this kind of info is yours and yours alone to share. I guess for me I'd just feel bad if they weren't aware of it and even if they end up accepting it then if they care about me then it would just make them feel really sad to find out...

 

[Bluescreen]

You're right, but imagine yourself as the girl. If you are not silly, you will not waste your time with someone who could make lots of troubles in the feature. You want to have an interesting and good timme. It's just stupid to tell someone that you are going to kill yourself if you get disabled when you are not disabled.

Another case is if it is a good, long-known friend or family member, for whom you would do more.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I've decided to try and date girls again after so long.
However, this time, I'll be honest and explain to them that I'm suicidal since the very beginning so that we have no problems such as pro-life arguments or psych ward suggestions in the near future.

Thus, I started to talking to a girl and had lots of fun because we really had things in common. Then, we started talking about religion, life, death and that's when I said I might ctb someday because I'm not interested in getting much older and find life absurd.

It was then when I realized I had been blocked.

I guess I'll have to get used to this because I will not pretend anymore. I'm suicidal, it's part of me and if a girl wants to date me in spite of this, I'll be more than happy!

Any thoughts? Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

If you weren't suicidal would you want to date someone who was? Fall in love with someone who's going to leave you? Either that or fall in love and hope she'll be enough to stop you. IMHO it's not fair to get involved fully knowing you're going to ctb

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You're right, but imagine yourself as the girl. If you are not silly, you will not waste your time with someone who could make lots of troubles in the feature. You want to have an interesting and good timme. It's just stupid to tell someone that you are going to kill yourself if you get disabled when you are not disabled.

Another case is if it is a good, long-known friend or family member, for whom you would do more.

Oh 100% if I was a girl I wouldn't date me at all even if he wasn't suicidal. That guy is irredeemable human scum who deserves to suffer and to die. Honestly killing himself is getting off easy but if he doesn't die he'll continue to make the world a worse place not just for women but for people in general.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've decided to try and date girls again after so long.
However, this time, I'll be honest and explain to them that I'm suicidal since the very beginning so that we have no problems such as pro-life arguments or psych ward suggestions in the near future.

Thus, I started to talking to a girl and had lots of fun because we really had things in common. Then, we started talking about religion, life, death and that's when I said I might ctb someday because I'm not interested in getting much older and find life absurd.

It was then when I realized I had been blocked.

I guess I'll have to get used to this because I will not pretend anymore. I'm suicidal, it's part of me and if a girl wants to date me in spite of this, I'll be more than happy!

Any thoughts? Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

I feel bad that you got blocked simply for being honest. I know you realize it's going to make people feel uncomfortable but I respect your desire to be open about it to everyone. tbh I think it's going to take someone special to handle it or someone who is in the same frame of mind.

 

[ClairyFairy]

Oh 100% if I was a girl I wouldn't date me at all even if he wasn't suicidal. That guy is irredeemable human scum who deserves to suffer and to die. Honestly killing himself is getting off easy but if he doesn't die he'll continue to make the world a worse place not just for women but for people in general.

Obvs I don't know you and all you say about yourself might be true but you're so articulate and it's hard seeing you're so down on yourself. Everyone has redeeming features. Even Denis rader was a good dad.

 

[Bluescreen]

Dr. Iron Arc, could be my words to myself ;-) So sorry, can't help you, same thing here... But lying is not forbidden and such a daily part of human beings, feel free to do so if it's useful for you.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Obvs I don't know you and all you say about yourself might be true but you're so articulate and it's hard seeing you're so down on yourself. Everyone has redeeming features. Even Denis rader was a good dad.

I'm going to counter your claim of me being articulate by affirming that I'm legitimately unsure of what exactly to say in response to that...

It's probably hard to find amongst all the spam I've made, but I've previously described in detail in other posts all the reasons I'm terrible. Take my word for it, or don't, because I can't be trusted. I do know for a fact that getting a woman sucked into my horribleness is an evil act all in its own even though I also know it's my only way out of this black hole I've dug myself into. I don't think I'd wish being attracted to me on my worst enemies because they'd have to be really naive or they simply just don't know the full extent of how evil I can be. Even knowing this is wrong I still try anyway luckily I'm hardly successful.

Dr. Iron Arc, could be my words to myself ;-) So sorry, can't help you, same thing here... But lying is not forbidden and such a daily part of human beings, feel free to do so if it's useful for you.

I'm actually pretty terrible at lying so I was leaning more towards just telling people the truth about being suicidally depressed as soon as I can though I would probably still not bring it up at all unless it becomes relevant which for me could be very soon into getting to know someone. It's not TECHNICALLY lying if I just never say it right? Yeah, that's me being dishonest anyway. Luckily I usually don't even get this far anyway so it's whatever.

 

[fixitinpost]

You're a great guy and I respect the honesty, but I don't think this is a good idea. I'm not sure how long you guys had been talking, but you'll get this kind of reaction because sharing such intimate information early on equals coming on too strong. To the other person, it feels like you think the two of you are much further along than what they think and feel. That's generally not a good feeling and it freaks people out. Whether they are OK with the idea of suicide or not.

Maybe it sounds boring and shallow, but I have a list of topics I don't bring up when dating: religion, politics, money, past relationships, sex (until after we've had it), or any kind of deeper problems I might be having. That stuff is for much later, to be doled out in digestable portions as we get to know eachother.

Finding someone is difficult enough as it is. I don't need to make things even harder lol.

 

[Bluescreen]

There are more things I don't say than I say, this is not dishonesty. I would hide any bad side of my and lie people in her face, because not the truth, but feelings make the world go round, and people want good feelings, not honesty. But I have a visible Disability and this has made me lots and lots of troubles, I hate my body for that.

Depressive people are too honest and make too much thoughts about others shit, this is what I have learnt in Therapy, but still, I'm not good in living my new principles.

 

[orlandom]

I've decided to try and date girls again after so long.
However, this time, I'll be honest and explain to them that I'm suicidal since the very beginning so that we have no problems such as pro-life arguments or psych ward suggestions in the near future.

Thus, I started to talking to a girl and had lots of fun because we really had things in common. Then, we started talking about religion, life, death and that's when I said I might ctb someday because I'm not interested in getting much older and find life absurd.

It was then when I realized I had been blocked.

I guess I'll have to get used to this because I will not pretend anymore. I'm suicidal, it's part of me and if a girl wants to date me in spite of this, I'll be more than happy!

Any thoughts? Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

I think it's okay that she did that. Just think - that many are afraid of this.

 

[summers]

@WornOutLife how soon into knowing this girl did you reveal that you are suicidal? I think it's great you want to be upfront, but maybe it was a little too soon.

 

[magick'sgone]

People in general feel uncomfortable hearing that level of negativity. Even others who claim they are/have been suicidal don't want to hear it from someone else. As evolutionary traits go, things like paranoia, anxiety and suicidal thoughts are just about the furthest one can get from desirable. Partners love to hear that you have suffered from those things and overcome them. You can even still suffer from them occasionally but only if you prevail over them without too much delay. Potential suitors are invariably looking for an unflappable rock they can depend on, not someone constantly on the verge of losing their shit. If you want to actually get dates at this point in your life it is advisable to not disclose so much information. You don't need to lie about it, just don't volunteer it. It's completely understandable that most people want to distance themselves from mental health issues, drama, potential wasted emotional investment etc. What do you want out of dating at this point in your life? Genuinely curious.

 

[Symbiote]

1. Women love honesty, but they don't love oversharing
2. Gotta learn how to communicate words in a way that normies understand. Never say the Suicide word to them, use other colorful terms.

 

[girlofduty]

It could be a trigger for some girls that are also suicidal. It sucks but there is such thing as being too honest.

And if you're suicidal, maybe, just look for friends with benefits nothing that requires a true commitment.

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

I've decided to try and date girls again after so long.
However, this time, I'll be honest and explain to them that I'm suicidal since the very beginning so that we have no problems such as pro-life arguments or psych ward suggestions in the near future.

Thus, I started to talking to a girl and had lots of fun because we really had things in common. Then, we started talking about religion, life, death and that's when I said I might ctb someday because I'm not interested in getting much older and find life absurd.

It was then when I realized I had been blocked.

I guess I'll have to get used to this because I will not pretend anymore. I'm suicidal, it's part of me and if a girl wants to date me in spite of this, I'll be more than happy!

Any thoughts? Have you ever experienced a similar situation?

Oh boy, you are so brave. And it's ok that some people don't wanna deal with it. Otherwise, if some girl became more interested because of suicidality - i'll became lil sus from that point.

I told to couple of my friends that. I know I'm full of fuckedupeness and when I start to lose my ability to taking actions - i'll consider that it's time to go. And they was kinda ok with that, love them so.

 

[WornOutLife]

. What do you want out of dating at this point in your life? Genuinely curious.

I guess I just want to experience love once again before dying. I had really nice times when I was in a love relationship and I miss those days from time to time even though I love lolineless. That's why I'm being honest about ctb because you know, it's always the same: first date, casual sex, more dates and then you end up in a relationship as long as there's chemistry. They'd better know I'm suicidal but I guess I'll wait some more time before sharing this side of me.
I'm not desperate at all. I could even ctb right now and not love again but why not try it? Some netflix while cuddling with a person you like/love is always awesome haha.


@threesummers

Hi pal! Yes, it was too soon! We only talked for a few days and we were even about to have a date. That's why I decided to tell her but I guess I'll wait more next time. I can understand why she did what she did but damn, she could've told me something like "get help" instead of blocking me so suddenly lol.

 

[Symbiote]

I guess I just want to experience love once again before dying. I had really nice times when I was in a love relationship and I miss those days from time to time even though I love lolineless. That's why I'm being honest about ctb because you know, it's always the same: first date, casual sex, more dates and then you end up in a relationship as long as there's chemistry. They'd better know I'm suicidal but I guess I'll wait some more time before sharing this side of me.
I'm not desperate at all. I could even ctb right now and not love again but why not try it? Some netflix while cuddling with a person you like/love is always awesome haha.

The only people that may understand your plight and give you last minute reprieve are hospice nurses. They deal with death everyday and making sure that you're comfortable through the process. Though finding one online to chat with may be a struggle since there's no HospiceDating services online.

 

[Trisolaris]

I guess I just want to experience love once again before dying. I had really nice times when I was in a love relationship and I miss those days from time to time even though I love lolineless. That's why I'm being honest about ctb because you know, it's always the same: first date, casual sex, more dates and then you end up in a relationship as long as there's chemistry. They'd better know I'm suicidal but I guess I'll wait some more time before sharing this side of me.
I'm not desperate at all. I could even ctb right now and not love again but why not try it? Some netflix while cuddling with a person you like/love is always awesome haha.


@threesummers

Hi pal! Yes, it was too soon! We only talked for a few days and we were even about to have a date. That's why I decided to tell her but I guess I'll wait more next time. I can understand why she did what she did but damn, she could've told me something like "get help" instead of blocking me so suddenly lol.

I would never share that I'm suicidal. That's a sure way to ruin a relationship and even lead to a breakup. If you don't want to traumatize her then you should finish the relationship before you off yourself.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think it's okay that she did that. Just think - that many are afraid of this.

I guess she was not expecting me to tell her that I was suicidal at all.
Our conversations were great and then suddenly, a guy tells you that he's not interested in life and finds it absurd so, he will ctb soon. I don't blame her but damn, that blocking was really fast! haha

 

[magick'sgone]

I guess I just want to experience love once again before dying. I had really nice times when I was in a love relationship and I miss those days from time to time even though I love lolineless. That's why I'm being honest about ctb because you know, it's always the same: first date, casual sex, more dates and then you end up in a relationship as long as there's chemistry. They'd better know I'm suicidal but I guess I'll wait some more time before sharing this side of me.
I'm not desperate at all. I could even ctb right now and not love again but why not try it? Some netflix while cuddling with a person you like/love is always awesome haha.

That's fair, man. I completely understand. I was in a similar situation and found that it brought new problems that I hadn't anticipated. You may become slightly happier but not enough to no longer want to CTB. Then you have the guilt of feeling like you are wasting someone's time and setting them up for devastation. Also I feel like it's considerate to wait a while after a break up just so they don't feel like it was their fault at all. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck and hope you can experience what you desire before it's your time to go

 

[orlandom]

I would never share that I'm suicidal. That's a sure way to ruin a relationship and even lead to a breakup. If you don't want to traumatize her then you should finish the relationship before you off yourself.

I think this guy has been here for too long and it has become a part of his life. But this is not a bad thing. But for the future, just don't do that.

 

[WornOutLife]

I just gotta tell you guys, I really love your opinions and advice.
I'm glad to have shared this experience here.

From now on, I'll wait more time before saying I'm suicidal but if things end up becoming a serious relationship, I'll have to let her know that I'm suicidal because things would only get worse when the time to leave this world comes.

I guess for a one or two-times thing there's no need to say I will ctb lol. I'll just have fun!

After all, "hiding the truth for some time doesn't exactly mean lying" right? haha

Please, keep on posting! I really enjoy reading you! =)