Story I tried to hang but the necktie broke and I woke up with an awful headache

[Life_is_Dead]

Hello, I'm still awfully in shock after what happened but felt like sharing my experience here.

My head hurts like hell and I can't hear really well with my left ear. I hope I did not damage my brain, because I won't have the courage to do this again for some time...

In short, the necktie broke after I passed out, but I don't know for how long I was unconscious. Was it 5, 10, 20 seconds ? I have no idea. I woke up with an unbearable headache, I thought I was going to die with my skull exploding, my ears were ringing and I had stars in my vision.

The pain remains 5 hours after, but I can move, think, see okay. I'm a bit dizzy and weak but maybe that's the shock I made my body endure. The only thing is my hearing, I have tinnitus in my left ear, I hope it will pass. I love listening to music, this is one of the only things that can make me feel good, I pray to the universe that I did not damage my brain.

What do you think... Do some of you had similar experiences ? I would love to hear them.



The full experience :

I wanted to end this and be free of the pain, part of me was afraid to but I had to prove myself that I'm not a liar and that I can pull it off. I chose the partial hanging method, with a necktie attached to a pull-up bar on top of my bedroom door. The noose was a little high so I stuck two sofa pillows on the floor under my knees to get higher.

I read that passing out occurs within 10 seconds. I was really afraid so I told myself that I will count to 5 and If I'm still not unconscious I'll stop. I got my head into the loop, took a deep breath and slowly rested my knees on the pillows, and started hanging.

There was no pain, apart from the weird discomfort and the fear that I'm doing something I maybe shouldn't do. I rested my arms along my body and started counting.

The rest really scared the shit out of me. I don't remember even getting past three that was I already unconscious, and I don't even remember when and how I passed out either. The only thing I remember was that I started dreaming, as if I was asleep.

I left my cellphone with music playing on my desk, and I could hear it in my dream until the sound froze and lagged, like when a computer crashes.

If any of you play video games or listen to music on your computer, maybe you know what I'm talking about. It's when the last milliseconds of sound get stuck in an infinite loop and make this unpleasant erratic noise, before the computer shuts down. Well I heard that exact same sound in my head as if I was a computer freezing.

Then in my dream I started having an awful, horrible headache, and I thought my skull was going to burst. I put both my hands on my head and started begging and shouting for the pain to stop. Then I gradually regained consciousness, to realize that the position I'm in is not a dream but reality.

I was slumped on the floor, head between my hands, struggling with the intense pain. I couldn't see anything and didn't hear. But I felt a pressure on my neck. It was the necktie still tight around it. I reached in panic for the noose and tried to untie it. I succeeded after a few seconds and broke free of it.

Then I saw something before me, hanging from the pull-up bar, and I understood what happened. It was the other end of the necktie, teared in half.

In awful pain I got to the bathroom on all fours and rested against the bathtub, and started crying, and begged for the pain to go away.

It's been five or six hours since, I slept a bit, maybe two hours, but the headache still remains. I took an aspirin but it didn't help.

This experience was awful, I don't even believe it really happened, I don't realize what I've done. I just want to beg for my brain not to be damaged. I promise I'll try to give life another chance, but please make the pain go away. I'm sorry.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm so sorry this happened, and thank you for letting us know since I know a lot of people ask about neckties. I honestly think you should go to the hospital. The severe headache that is continuing and tinnitus is concerning.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

What am I going to tell them... what will they to do to me...
I don't know, isn't there something I can do myself ? The pain is less intense now so maybe it will fade away ?
Thank you for your answer I'm such an idiot, I didn't think it would work, I was sure that I didn't have the guts to do it...

 

[NodusTollens]

Omg, I'm so sorry that happened OP. I wish you a speedy recovery, sorry you're feeling pain.

 

[botanormal]

Aww, I'm really sorry things didn't work out the way you expected, it was really unfortunate that the necktie snapped. You were attempting suicide to escape from your pain, it's very cruel of this world to force you into even more because of it. I really appreciate the detail you've given in describing your experiences, I'm sure it will help a lot of people.

Considering how you're writing so clearly, I would assume you don't have any major brain damage, although I'm not an expert by any means. If you're really worried, maybe it might be best to visit the hospital, but if the pain is fading like you say then it may not be necessary. If you wait for a few more hours and it's not improving, then maybe there would be more cause for concern. But follow your own judgement, the last thing you need is to be in anymore pain. You didn't deserve this at all, I'm sending you a big hug, and I'm hoping things will improve for you.

 

[Ghost2211]

What am I going to tell them... what will they to do to me...
I don't know, isn't there something I can do myself ? The pain is less intense now so maybe it will fade away ?
Thank you for your answer I'm such an idiot, I didn't think it would work, I was sure that I didn't have the guts to do it...

I think you should tell them the truth, and deal with what comes of it. It shouldn't be too bad of you tell them you regret it and will never do it again. You need a CT.

edit to add… My concern is the extreme prolonged and continuing intense headache.

 

[tea on clouds]

I'm sorry for what you're going through.
The glitchy sound part makes me really consider we live in a matrix. I don't know, maybe I'm going crazy...

 

[signifying nothing]

My concern would be if there is any chance of neck/spinal injury with this method?

Hope all is alright.

 

[tea on clouds]

What am I going to tell them... what will they to do to me...
I don't know, isn't there something I can do myself ? The pain is less intense now so maybe it will fade away ?
Thank you for your answer I'm such an idiot, I didn't think it would work, I was sure that I didn't have the guts to do it...

I also think you should tell them the truth. Medics deal with many different cases everyday, for them you will be just one more day of work

 

[Bigpink]

I'm so sorry you went through this experience, I hope you won't have any lasting health issues because of this. This may be my method when the time comes.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your answers.

I'll try to go to the hospital if things don't improve. It's really late now in my country I don't feel like taking the car and I don't even know where I should go. I just want to sleep for the moment. I'm tired. I hope I'm not making a mistake.

I still don't believe what happened. I passed out so quickly...

I just don't understand this world anymore, what are we supposed to do here. Why so many people have to go through so much pain.

 

[Bigpink]

The world can be a difficult hell hole to manage.

 

[Ghost2211]

Look up brain bleed

This is my concern. Please watch for symptoms, and keep in mind its highly time sensitive. I respect your decision and wish you well. Not trying to scare you that might not be the case at all.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

oh my this is terrfiying, i get shivers just reading it
Okay I'll go, I don't know what I've done...

 

[Spitfire]

oh my this is terrfiying, i get shivers just reading it
Okay I'll go, I don't know what I've done...

Did you decide to get checked out? Has the headache gotten any worse or better?

 

[Ae54rge]

OP a head injury is a concern if the pain has not subsided after a time of many hours, if you were in even 60% of the original pain after say 4-6hrs I would get checked, if you are say about that or less, by the time they check you and x-ray you to give you the all clear you would have been fine. They say if any pain comes within a few months to return, please do. I have suffered many concussions from drink/drug enduced states.

You need to be at your best to continue your journey no matter what path you take ❤

 

[Spitfire]

The carotid arteries have sensors in them to regulate blood pressure, and they can sometimes cause fainting when they get stimulated. It sounds like this may have been what happened and why you went out soo quickly in three seconds like you described.

It sounds like you may have come back around during the time when hypoxia was beginning. The veins were compressed causing you a headache.

Do you have someone to stay with you for the next 24 hours to watch over you?

 

[Life_is_Dead]

Hello,
I went to sleep after my last message because i was juste too exhausted and traumatized.
It's morning now in my country (8h00) and I want to follow your advice and go to a hospital but I don't know where I should go to get the scan immedialty without an appointment.
There is nobody home right now, but I can call a friend maybe that could take me to the hospital, cause i don't think i'm in a state to drive right now.

Should i call the emergency and ask them for an adress ?

Edit : The headache was a bit weird, I think it's better but it hurt more during the night, and the pain kind of changed location. Sometimes it was everywhere, then in front of the head above the eyes and now it's in the back of the skull and my neck hurts. If I try to move too quickly I get sharp pain in the back of my head like stabbing.

Now that I think about it I may have hit the back of my head on the floor when I fell, because I woke up on my back. And I sense a sore spot behind my skull. I don't know how violent the blow was but maybe it added up to the pain. There's a rug where I collapsed so it may have soften the hit a little bit, I hope.

Edit 2 : I just called the emergency and I told them my head hurts, I didn't tell I tried to hang myself cause I was too scared, they asked me if I had others symptoms apart from the headache and I said no. They told me do call a doctor first.

 

[rs929]

If you hit the floor with your head while being unconscious you may have internal bleeding. I think you should tell them the truth

 

[Spitfire]

Hello,
I went to sleep after my last message because i was juste too exhausted and traumatized.
It's morning now in my country (8h00) and I want to follow your advice and go to a hospital but I don't know where I should go to get the scan immedialty without an appointment.
There is nobody home right now, but I can call a friend maybe that could take me to the hospital, cause i don't think i'm in a state to drive right now.

Should i call the emergency and ask them for an adress ?

Edit : The headache was a bit weird, I think it's better but it hurt more during the night, and the pain kind of changed location. Sometimes it was everywhere, then in front of the head above the eyes and now it's in the back of the skull and my neck hurts. If I try to move too quickly I get sharp pain in the back of my head like stabbing.

Now that I think about it I may have hit the back of my head on the floor when I fell, because I woke up on my back. And I sense a sore spot behind my skull. I don't know how violent the blow was but maybe it added up to the pain. There's a rug where I collapsed so it may have soften the hit a little bit, I hope.

Edit 2 : I just called the emergency and I told them my head hurts, I didn't tell I tried to hang myself cause I was too scared, they asked me if I had others symptoms apart from the headache and I said no. They told me do call a doctor first.

Thanks for letting us know. I hope you continue to feel better today.

This is insane though how lucky you are... If (don't want to say)

I am soo glad you are okay...

 

[Ghost2211]

I hope everything works out for you and your recovery.

 

[Gerard de Nerval]

Life_is_Dead,

I had a similar experience at the begining October. I had settled it on a Friday night to use some clothesline rope I used for camping. I felt it was too thin for the weight I needed, so I braided the rope (it was excessively long) then tied it to a closet clothes rack. It was tied as a simple noose knot but had quite a bit of resistance due to the friction cause by the braid. I drank almost a fifth of rye whiskey to both circumvent SI and to make the fainting process move faster than if I was sober. After putting on a work of music I felt was the last one I wanted to hear, I put my head through the loop and bent my knees in a quick and deliberate movement to allow the ligature to tighten the rope around my neck. The last thing I remember was a passage in the music -- the second theme of the symphony is about love though it felt a mockery at that time. When I drink excessively, it produces an afect of the lethe, so I don't remember dreams even though I know I have them. Usually I have some sentiment or feeling that I was dreaming when I normally wake the next morning. So I did not have any dreams and it sounds like a gift, knowing your experience now.
Later I found myself on the closet floor, in immense pain. But this pain had no locus other than the entirety of my body. Every muscle cramping, producing a pain I've never experienced, coupled with a headache similar to the one you describe, but days after I was affected with terrible migraines.
I should have gone to the hospitable, but all I did was stay in bed for 2 weeks. It was around that time I joined SS, looking for a better method for me.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. I tested out a similar thing about half a year ago by compressing my carotid artery but couldn't pass out. I hope you are able to find peace in whatever you do in the future.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and give you back all the hugs you gave me.

I think I will be ok, I hope. The pain gradually went away. My head and my neck are still a little sore and I'm in a kind of a zombie mood right now but I seem to function properly.
I want to apologize for not getting to the hospital right away, I'm aware it could have been a lot worse, I just couldn't bear the thought of having to deal with all the emotional consequences that might have arisen. Having to explain this to my relatives and everything, I hope you're not mad at me.
But I'll go see a doctor to get an appointment for a CT.

This episode really traumatized me, and I really learned my lesson, I won't do any other attempts for a while, maybe never again. I feel like there is an omniscient force looking down on me saying "You see what happens ? For now I'll let you live without any harsh consequences, but pull any shit like this again and you'll see what you'll get."
Feeling myself die and reboot with this awful pain was horrifying, I don't want to get through anything like this again.

Life_is_Dead,

I had a similar experience at the begining October.

Thank you for this. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. It looks like we had quite similar experiences. Do you know for how long you were hanging ? Did you have any physical damage after ?
I understand the importance of getting myself checked. I'll do it as soon as possible.

Thanks for letting us know. I hope you continue to feel better today.

This is insane though how lucky you are... If (don't want to say)

I am soo glad you are okay...

Thank you,
Yes, I'm probably lucky... I did this on a whim, because when I think too much I end up never doing it. Because of that I didn't measure the consequences enough. I'm grateful for whatever made the necktie break before any permanent injury.

I'll surrender to life if that's what the universe wants me to. I'll interpret the necktie snapping in half as a sign for me to try again. Yes I wanted to die (did I ?), but I'm done for now, this was too much for me to handle.

I'll try to pursue my passion for screenwriting, even if it never gets anywhere. This is the best I can do... I hope this is not all post-trauma lucidity, and that I won't be back here in a month wanting to die again.

I hope everyone here find their peace, be it in life or death, and that your method is really rock solid before you execute it, to avoid ending up like me.

Thank you everyone for everything. I'll be around.

 

[Bigpink]

Life_is_Dead,

I had a similar experience at the begining October. I had settled it on a Friday night to use some clothesline rope I used for camping. I felt it was too thin for the weight I needed, so I braided the rope (it was excessively long) then tied it to a closet clothes rack. It was tied as a simple noose knot but had quite a bit of resistance due to the friction cause by the braid. I drank almost a fifth of rye whiskey to both circumvent SI and to make the fainting process move faster than if I was sober. After putting on a work of music I felt was the last one I wanted to hear, I put my head through the loop and bent my knees in a quick and deliberate movement to allow the ligature to tighten the rope around my neck. The last thing I remember was a passage in the music -- the second theme of the symphony is about love though it felt a mockery at that time. When I drink excessively, it produces an afect of the lethe, so I don't remember dreams even though I know I have them. Usually I have some sentiment or feeling that I was dreaming when I normally wake the next morning. So I did not have any dreams and it sounds like a gift, knowing your experience now.
Later I found myself on the closet floor, in immense pain. But this pain had no locus other than the entirety of my body. Every muscle cramping, producing a pain I've never experienced, coupled with a headache similar to the one you describe, but days after I was affected with terrible migraines.
I should have gone to the hospitable, but all I did was stay in bed for 2 weeks. It was around that time I joined SS, looking for a better method for me.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

I wrote a long reply 4 hours ago but it doesn't seem to have appeared yet

I wanted to thank you all for all your support and advice, and hug you back a thousand times

 

[Sherri]

Hope you ok, I've tried that on the door knob but not with a tie, felt my head was about to explode, when finally gave up, had a purple head for and hour or more. Hope you ok there.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

Aw I'm sorry. I didn't have a purple head but it sure did hurt like hell. I hope everything will be fine.

 

[Ghost2211]

Neckties are mentioned in the guide to partial, so I'm curious... you said you had pillows under you to increase height. Did the pillows get moved away and too much weight put on the tie? With partial a good bit of your weight should he supported by your body on parts on the floor. I'm wondering if the tie was the problem or the set up.

 

[Life_is_Dead]

When I woke up the pillows were moved away. I have no idea how my body reacted when i was unconscious. Maybe I trashed around violently and it made me kick the cushions. Or maybe made me apply too much force on the necktie. I don't think I want to know how I tortured my poor body...

The necktie snapped on the slipknot, which was really really tight, still around my neck when i regained consciousness. I made mutliple strain tests before getting my head inside, which probably weakened the fabric... Well this really looks like the butterfly effect.

The plan was to get to a point of pain and stop, in order to, I don't know, feel better about myself that I'm at least trying to die.
But I didn't plan to pass out so quickly... Well I sure had quite a surprise when I woke up, for the first few seconds i hardly understood what happened, I was like in a different world. Total blackout between me counting and me hurting on the floor...

Terrible experience. Do not recommend. I'm grateful to be fine. If this was a video game I would have probably lost a life right there. The question is how many more do I have left.

I'll cherish the fact that I survived this without any injuries (I hope), and I'll try to go on with life. I'm crying again now because i juste realized this means going through lot of pain again... But I'll do my best Please do your best everyone. Thank you