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etherealgoddess

etherealgoddess

perseverance is inevitable success
Dec 8, 2022
200
My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.

I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.

This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:

Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.

P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.

I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

🔑 Friends with Aera23
Apr 10, 2025
1,336
Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad.
Awesome.

BTW, I also made an account after the CTB wishes faded from high to low.
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

nothing
Nov 28, 2024
394
Could you explain a bit how you undertook this process alone? I feel too ashamed and hopeless to work with an expert even if I could find one where I live
 
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etherealgoddess

etherealgoddess

perseverance is inevitable success
Dec 8, 2022
200
Could you explain a bit how you undertook this process alone? I feel too ashamed and hopeless to work with an expert even if I could find one where I live
I did inner child healing meditation. It's on Youtube. The process is to essentially to feel your body. Once you are connected to your body, try to get into old memories from childhood. You will feel them maybe 45 minutes into really having awareness of your body. It gets faster and faster over time. Then you feel the emotions you felt as a child and then switch the dialogue to you as a parent and what you truly needed in that moment--love or comfort or safety. it's painful. Go slower and make sure to mentally dial the pain down. It took me about 200 hours over the past 6 months to feel so content. The first 3 months got the main depressive symptoms away but was still dissociative. I did go INSANELY intensive. It would be more realistic to get 50 hours in that amount of time.
 
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Lions303

Lions303

Blessed
Aug 24, 2025
73
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm really happy and proud of you for finding peace and being at ease in life. Being on a similar journey, its good to know that the process will be life changing and will turn out for the better. I really appreciate you, sharing this is like youre being a light at the end of the tunnel <3
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

nothing
Nov 28, 2024
394
Thank you for sharing. This is extremely interesting to me and I think could be really helpful. I'm so glad you have healed yourself and are feeling content in life- that's so amazing and you can be so proud that you were able to actually save yourself! Major congratulations due. I hope it stays this way for you <3 Take care🌷
 
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L

London2005

Member
Sep 23, 2025
26
thank you so much for sharing this!! I will keep this in mind and apply it to my life, I needed something like this
 
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M

monkeysee2

send help pls
Sep 26, 2025
58
I did inner child healing meditation. It's on Youtube. The process is to essentially to feel your body. Once you are connected to your body, try to get into old memories from childhood. You will feel them maybe 45 minutes into really having awareness of your body. It gets faster and faster over time. Then you feel the emotions you felt as a child and then switch the dialogue to you as a parent and what you truly needed in that moment--love or comfort or safety. it's painful. Go slower and make sure to mentally dial the pain down. It took me about 200 hours over the past 6 months to feel so content. The first 3 months got the main depressive symptoms away but was still dissociative. I did go INSANELY intensive. It would be more realistic to get 50 hours in that amount of time.
Thanks for sharing! Do you have a link to the video?

Would you say the painful emotions are gone now or just diminished?
 
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kazatte

kazatte

and so, love has come to an end
Sep 1, 2025
100
thank you so much for sharing this :) i definitely needed to hear something like this, and i can tell by the responses here that many others did as well. i'm very proud of you and happy for you!!
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Arcanist
Jan 11, 2024
402
I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.
 
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Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,461
Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr

I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.

Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · A Terrible Product
Sep 21, 2024
2,319
Translation:
Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr
I have asked for your thread to be added to the Recovery Success Stories thread as inspiration that other people can potentially recover.

Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds
To be fair they said YouTube was only 1 part of their self-connection processes and that they used it in combination with other methods.

Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

Skepticism is healthy and okay but again to be honest people do not often post recovery success stories and I am not sure what you are seeing 'often'

also the method that Original Poster described makes sense and does not carry much risk of injury so am not sure what damage will happen other than it will not work for some people.

I agree that it always best to work with professional wherever possible but there are users on the forum who do not have that luxury.

I have linked some free somatic experiencing resources for anyone else considering that method.

There is also a section explaining somatic experiencing on Therapy Methods Explained Thread.

 
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etherealgoddess

etherealgoddess

perseverance is inevitable success
Dec 8, 2022
200
Thanks for sharing! Do you have a link to the video?

Would you say the painful emotions are gone now or just diminished?
This is the link. I literally only used this video as well as sometimes listen to a sad song or an angry song if I needed more emotional charge:


The painful emotions are far easier to access now and are not nearly as painful. I still feel the emotional flashbacks because I went through torture my whole life and am still processing that it happened to me, but because I am so in tune with myself, I can start processing almost immediately. It's like 30 minutes of gentle crying every 3 days versus before it would take 3 hours not even including that it would take 45 minutes to get into my body and feel it all. I can feel my emotions a lot easier, and it's just not SUFFERING. Like it is not agony to wake up everyday anymore. It's a fucking RELIEF. It used to be AGONY. The process gets easier and easier. I don't get triggered anymore unless a healing session is due (I feel kind of depressive when I have a crying session due). But 6 months in with intensive healing, it's super easy to just cry for 30 minutes and hug myself so it releases and feel connected back to myself again.

Healing did this. It does not make you permanently happy. But this is how I would describe it. When you're unhealed, you have so much pain all the time, and because so much sadness is in there, you're constantly in agony. You feel restless or addictive, and once that adrenaline or dopamine runs out, you're in a full-blown depression. Healing makes the ups and downs go to little ups and downs. I feel happy but in a much more relaxed way. I don't get major highs but also don't get major lows. I also feel a lot more content about living in general. I can just stare at the sunset and be totally chill. It's a different kind of happiness.

Painful emotions will never go away. But the real suffering is from holding it in. I can say that I do not feel suffering at all. I feel sadness. But not suffering.
I'm sorry - you self-healed your inner child via listening to a video on Youtube?

I've been working with a therapist doing EMDR and somatic work with a trained therapist with a PhD in this work - and it's slow. So I'm sorry, I'm feeling extremely concerned when someone comes on here - which is far too often - and claim they're cured/healed/whatever tapping or whatever they do is the solution.

I have meditated every day for about 7 years and that with the EMDR have provided a huge amount of relief, but 'all of my mental illnesses cured!' from an untrained person is extremely dangerous. We need to stop doing this as a community. Someone will try something and get hurt and the community will get more visibility. We can't have that.
I don't recommend doing it on your own, but in my situation, I had no choice but to go alone. I was too emotionally broken to go to a therapist. I was like a scared puppy, and all relationships scared me. I had my ex for a while, and the first few months, I had to spend so much energy fighting myself to not destroy the relationship by running away. It was too exhausting to put a relationship on top when my emotional pain was a 10/10.

It did cure me, though. I genuinely used to have chronic health problems, severe ADHD, anxiety, addiction, OCD, OCPD, and more. All of that stopped in the past few months. These symptoms only come up when I have to deal with a healing session, but it's extremely mild at this point and very easy to keep under control. I do have huge respect for people with PhD's, and I do acknowledge how so many people want to sell something or intentionally or unintentionally hurt others with misinformation, but this is an experience that truly did cure me, and I will stand by those words.

It took me 6 months because I went max intensity. I do not recommend it, but I was in that much agony that I went for it. I knew it was going to be agony, but the relief I feel right now makes it all worth it. I was dealing with anxious thoughts from the day I woke up until I went to bed. It was agony to live. And I felt the relief when I started. So I essentially maxxed it out. I do not recommend it, but I was desperate. And it worked for me. My body was failing me before, so I had no choice but to get the relief ASAP. And once the ball started rolling, it was so much agony I just went full speed to get over it ASAP. It would take 7 years if you're going at a more moderate pace. On the other hand, I stopped everything I was doing and maxxed out all of my emotional energy to process as much as possible. I obviously have slowed down because I don't need it, but I had to do it for my individual situation.

This is another thing to warn everyone about though: be careful about processing and make sure you dial the pain down so that you aren't retraumatizing your body. You can process without tons of pain. I think for me once the ball started rolling it was agony, so I wanted to get over it fast, but if you don't feel that much in agony, I'd say slow down.
Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr



Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds



Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred


Yes, Youtube was one part of it. I did also EMDR sitting on my own listening to angry music. But it's essentially just letting the body release whatever built-up energy there is via crying, feeling angry, or letting the nerves fire.

I get the skepticism. But I agree... you probably won't get that much damage if you do it wrong. I probably went a little too harsh, but I also don't regret it because I personally was in so much agony when I started and was desperate for relief. If you know the trauma will retraumatize you, dial the pain down and process one aspect of it at a time. For me, I have a lot of CPTSD, so it's a lot of moderately painful situations that accumulated into a ton of pain VS a ton of insanely traumatic events. I have a few insanely traumatic events where I have to heal it in portions because it's too painful all at once.
 
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Lookingtoflyfree

Lookingtoflyfree

Arcanist
Jan 11, 2024
402
Slf hve askd fr ur thred 2 b addd t/ Recvry Sccess Stries thred as inspratn tht othr ppl cn ptentlly recovr



Tbf thy sd tht YT ws only 1 prt of thr slf-connectn procss & tht thy usd in combnatn wth othr methds



Skeptiscm = helthy & OK bt agn tbh ppl d/ nt oftn pst recvry sccess stries a/ am nt sre whtu r c-ing 'oftn'

also th/ methd tht OP dscribd mkes snse & ds nt crry mch rsk of injry s/ am nt sre wht damge wll happn othr thn = wll nt wrk fr sme ppl

Slf agree tht = alwys bst t/ wrk wth a professnl whreevr pssble bt thre r usrs on frum wh/ d/ nt hve tht luxry

Slf hve linkd sme free somatc xperncng rsourcs fr n.e1 els cnsidrng tht methd

Thre = also a sectn xplainng somatc xperncng on Therpy Methds Xplaind thred

The damage is a person who is not a trained medical professional literally saying in the title of their post "I got all of my mental illnesses cured!". I know a lot of us have had problems with medical professionals, but at least with them there are licensing bodies and ways to verify someone's experiences because they are trained. Unless 'ethereal goddess' has some training they can share, I caution anyone saying listening to some Youtube videos can CURE your mental illnesses.

I agree there is value in understanding somatic therapy - and when I've done it, having a therapist was essential. Clearly you don't see the danger in the OP's post. I'm not going to bother having a discussion. I am broke and haven't had enough food today because I could barely function to eat. So maybe i should just meditate and cure my illnesses and hunger.
This is another thing to warn everyone about though: be careful about processing and make sure you dial the pain down so that you aren't retraumatizing your body. You can process without tons of pain. I think for me once the ball started rolling it was agony, so I wanted to get over it fast, but if you don't feel that much in agony, I'd say slow down.

Convenient you happen to put this in the conversation rather than the original post. I caution everyone to not listen to someone who is not a trained medical professional who is clearly acting like they are one.

This is a community to share resources and support, but I think you're very, very close to violating a lot of what makes this community supportive Thankfully we can chose to ignore you.
 
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rainatthetraintrack

rainatthetraintrack

Specialist
Jul 1, 2025
340
happy for you 🙌
thanks for sharing your story
 
Dot

Dot

Info abt typng styl on prfle.
Sep 26, 2021
3,461
The damage is a person who is not a trained medical professional literally saying in the title of their post "I got all of my mental illnesses cured!". I know a lot of us have had problems with medical professionals, but at least with them there are licensing bodies and ways to verify someone's experiences because they are trained. Unless 'ethereal goddess' has some training they can share, I caution anyone saying listening to some Youtube videos can CURE your mental illnesses.

I agree there is value in understanding somatic therapy - and when I've done it, having a therapist was essential. Clearly you don't see the danger in the OP's post. I'm not going to bother having a discussion. I am broke and haven't had enough food today because I could barely function to eat. So maybe i should just meditate and cure my illnesses and hunger.


Convenient you happen to put this in the conversation rather than the original post. I

caution everyone to not listen to someone who is not a trained medical professional who is clearly acting like they are one.

This is a community to share resources and support, but I think you're very, very close to violating a lot of what makes this community supportive Thankfully we can chose to ignore you.


OP = sharng an xpernce of wht workd fr thm & thy r sharng wht thy hve lernd in hpes tht = wll inspre othr ppl

Thy r nt tellng ppl tht = wll wrk fr thm & tht = wll cure evry1 els

If thy wre postng 'follw ths YT vdeo & u wll all b curd' etc thn slf wld undrstnd whre u r comng frm bt thy r speakng frm a persnl perspctve of wht helpd thm & dscribng sme of th/ undr-lyng thery b-hnd th/ apprch tht thy followd

Sme1 = allowd 2 sy tht thy r curd if thr symptms tht thy suffrd wth thru thr lfe hve dsppeard or tht thr qualty of lfe hs substantlly increasd whch = lks 2 b th/ cse - wht ppl shld *nt* b doin = diagnosng *othr* ppl etc or makng sweepng promses tht wht workd fr thm wll defntly cure evrybdy els bt OP = nt doin tht -- also OP = nt directng ppl t/ dangrs rsourcs - jst a YT medtatn vdeo -- & ths = comng frm sme1 whse lfe ws persnlly dstroyd frm doin th/ wrng typ of YT hypnoss vdeo

OP hs shard thr stry & adlt usrs nd 2 d/ thr du dilgnce & rsearch thngs on thr own or if thy cn lk fr practitnrs wh/ cn gude thm thru th/ newr apprch tht OP ws dscribng

If u hve an issu wth wordng of titl thn rport & am sre tht mds cn chck & ask fr sme tweakng if thre r cncerns abt n.ethng b-ing ms-leadng
 
rainwillneverstop

rainwillneverstop

Global Mod | Serious Health Hazard
Jul 12, 2022
777
OP = sharng an xpernce of wht workd fr thm & thy r sharng wht thy hve lernd in hpes tht = wll inspre othr ppl

Thy r nt tellng ppl tht = wll wrk fr thm & tht = wll cure evry1 els

If thy wre postng 'follw ths YT vdeo & u wll all b curd' etc thn slf wld undrstnd whre u r comng frm bt thy r speakng frm a persnl perspctve of wht helpd thm & dscribng sme of th/ undr-lyng thery b-hnd th/ apprch tht thy followd

Sme1 = allowd 2 sy tht thy r curd if thr symptms tht thy suffrd wth thru thr lfe hve dsppeard or tht thr qualty of lfe hs substantlly increasd whch = lks 2 b th/ cse - wht ppl shld *nt* b doin = diagnosng *othr* ppl etc or makng sweepng promses tht wht workd fr thm wll defntly cure evrybdy els bt OP = nt doin tht -- also OP = nt directng ppl t/ dangrs rsourcs - jst a YT medtatn vdeo -- & ths = comng frm sme1 whse lfe ws persnlly dstroyd frm doin th/ wrng typ of YT hypnoss vdeo

OP hs shard thr stry & adlt usrs nd 2 d/ thr du dilgnce & rsearch thngs on thr own or if thy cn lk fr practitnrs wh/ cn gude thm thru th/ newr apprch tht OP ws dscribng

If u hve an issu wth wordng of titl thn rport & am sre tht mds cn chck & ask fr sme tweakng if thre r cncerns abt n.ethng b-ing ms-leadng

Translating just for reference.

OP is sharing an experience of what worked for them, and they are sharing what they have learned in hopes that it will inspire other people.

They are not telling people that it will work for them, and that it will cure everyone ekse.

If they were posting 'follow this YT video and you will all be cured' etc then I would understand where you're coming from, but they are speaking from a personal perspective of what helped them, and describing some of the underlying theory behind the approach they followed.

Someone is allowed to say that they are cured if their symptoms that they suffered with through life has disappeared or that their quality of life has substantially increased, which it looks to be the case. What other people should not be doing is diagnosing other people etc. or making sweeping promises that what worked for them will definitely cure everybody else. But OP is not doing that.
Also OP is not directing people to dangerous resources, just a YT meditation video and this is coming from someone whose life was personally destroyed from doing the wrong type of YT hypnosis video

OP has shared their story and adult users need to do due diligence and research things on their own or if they can look for practitioners who can guide them through the newer approach OP was describing.

If you have an issue with wording of title then report and I'm sure that mods can check and ask for some tweaking there are concerns about anything being misleading

End of 'translation.'

On a personal note, no need to report anything. There's nothing misleading in the post, its just someone telling about their personal experience and what helped for them. They aren't pushing other users or giving false promises. They are just saying what worked for them.
They are allowed to do that, and don't need a doctors note as proof before sharing their experience.

Also it's posted in the recovery section, hopefully this will be the end of the discussion.
 
K

Keridwen

Member
Jul 28, 2025
22
My experience won't help everyone, but I know I can help at least one person. I used to be on here all the time. I wanted to end it. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was constantly suffering. It took me 7 years to finally end my depression permanently and for good, and I wanted to help people get on track to recovery.

I essentially had severe depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD, and severe migraines for seven years. I had no idea why I had migraines that only went away if I played video games or scrolled. I kept experimenting with different healing methods. I'd do lots of journaling to analyze my thought patterns. I would do affirmations. I would try to convince myself to feel a certain way. These didn't give me the results I needed. It was still hard to wake up every day and WANT to live, not survive. It took me 7 years of insane persistence to find something that actually worked PERMANENTLY.

Now I can say that I actually live my life in peace. I can feel my emotions. I am connected to myself. I have 0 interest in ending my life ever, even when it all goes bad. Relationship breakups don't hurt so bad anymore... it's a good cry, and I'm over it. When people do something irritating or disrespectful, I automatically walk away and don't bother to fight when it's unnecessary. I used to be very upset over people who didn't have good morals. I was super sensitive, and if I liked a guy, it could take me 4x longer than I knew him to get over him because it hurt so badly, or sometimes I'd have full-blown obsessions (not stalker but just mentally). I still feel negative emotions, but they don't control me, and they don't control the narrative of my life. I didn't even mention that it cured my insane migraines and 10/10 chronic fatigue. Before I was insanely persistent and knew there was light at the end of tunnel. Now I am bathing in the light.

This is what I did: somatic experiencing, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback. I essentially focused on doing inner child healing. Here's how it works:

Being a child is insanely traumatic. Emotions feel huge, and we are dependent. Emotional abandonment feels like you are going to risk your livelihood and die. The first five years of your life--if you feel very unloved or unsafe, that traumatizes you. This memory stores inside the body as not just as a memory but also stores as tension inside the nerves. It has two connections: the pain stuck in the nerves as well as your actual memory. Every time you were unloved or unsafe, that memory got stuck in your body like a thorn that never got taken out. You have severe depression because you have hundreds if not thousands of those thorns stuck inside. The key to get the thorn out is to essentially wrap the memory and yourself like a blanket with love. It is not about erasing the past or the memory. It is about wrapping yourself and the version of you who went through it with love and care. The memory isn't traumatic because you felt bad. Feeling bad isn't necessarily traumatic. It's because you felt unloved and/or unsafe. You essentially have to be the parent in all of those traumatic memories one-by-one. The key is to not fix the inner child's problem or convince them that they feel ok. The key is to comfort the inner child as if you found them after the feeling of being unloved or unsafe settled in. You make them feel loved and safe the way you needed it in that moment. The love actually heals your mind and nerves. This is not woowoo la la land. This is real. This changed my life. I am someone who was obsessed with psychology, and this is the only thing that worked for me. These changes were 100% permanent. I can actually enjoy my life now.

P.S. Something that was interesting is that feeling good and having a content life is way more chill than you think. It's not like highs and lows. It's just chillness almost all of the time.

I really hope this works for at least one person. I did do this on my own. Make sure to go slow with it because you don't want to exhaust your body and retraumatize yourself. It's better to get an expert, but I was too emotionally broken to do it with someone else because I had attachment issues.
I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved, and your story gives me hope that I can follow the same path.
 
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