NSFW i wanna get better now cus i'm fucking obsessed with this guy

[TBONTB]

ok so im crazy obsessed with this guy rn he is everything to me hes so perfect i love him and like he said theres a chance he likes me so i fucking hope we end up together cus if we dont i will probably just ctb lmao but god he said theres a chance we're literally perfect for eachother tmi and nsfw but

Spoiler: spoiler

i'm an insane masochist he's extremely sadistic and everything he says is so fucking hot holy christ

and he's also so sweet and nice at the same time and i fucking love him and i need to get better so i can have him
why am i like this lmao
genuinely wtf is wrong with me to make me this way idc honestly all i have is autism and adhd i've hbad a fine life other than those i suspect the adhd i guess

Spoiler: nsfw warning

god i wanna be immortal so he can kill me over and over and over and do horrible things to my body and do the worst things ever to me god im sorry i'm just insane rn he could do literally anything he wanted to me and i'd be fine with it i wanna be his pet just to be collared and leashed and abused and hurt but it all makes me wanna live now ironically

Glad you are excited, that feels great to read. And just a thought...if you feel this way once, you might feel this way again. Congratulations on a good moment in life!

 

[coolgal82]

So in other words, basically you are only doing it purely for the sake of some online rando, as I've called out before. This is bound to end in disaster, especially if he goes on to break your heart. Him saying that there is a "possibility for it to become romantic" makes it sound like he is just leading you on. If he wanted it to be romantic then he would be striving to make it that way. He is likely only interested in you sexually. That is how most shit like this tends to be.

he is for the moment only interested sexually but he says alot of tines it takes him a while and idc how long it takes and he atleast also cares about me as a person with how nice and understanding he is when im upset/whatever

also yeah obv it could end in disaster but then if it does i'll stop trying to recover and thats how it is, you cant convince me otherwise so please stop trying. do you not want me to have a chance at recovery, there *is* no other recoverychance than this for me and i mean that literally and i wanna take this chance while it exists, you sound like youre trying to convince me not to recover

Why the fuck you always act so high and mighty? what are you doing to recover besides repeatedly being an asshole to people in a suicide forum? If they feel happy, let em be happy. You are condescending and dismissive to suicidal people and it is not even a kink. Much worse.

thank you exactly, you get it, i tried reporting them but mods denied it faster than a bullet train so i bet theyre buddy buddy with this douche (not a formal accusation, a theory. just my opinion) its sad too cus theyve usually from my memory been an ass only to the right people

 

[coolgal82]

also to add to that he said this when i asked if theres still a chance
"It's alright
Honestly maybe I am leading you on
I really can't be the one to tell you that
I do definitely think the chance is there"
"You need to understand that I don't really catch feelings for people, it usually takes me a while
I very rarely even care for people in the first place, you've managed to cross that bar which most don't really make it across so that's something in your favor"
"There's just a lot in the way of me really wanting to date at this moment. That being said I'm happy with the dynamic we have and if us dating means we have a stronger dynamic like this I'd be pretty strongly in favor of it, there's just some other things that need to happen first"
so genuinely fuck you jester. i used to think you were cool cus you directed your hostility at the right person but genuinely fuck off and leave me alone