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ssUser34

ssUser34

Heart is hurting
Apr 12, 2025
12
I was literally just about to ctb… I'm in a tiny forest, finally found some tree and I'm hanging up my rope. I finally throw it over the branch, so I want to tie it, but then I look to my right and I just see an orange like shadow "walk through the bushes and I got really fucking scared so I just got my stuff and went away. It was probably just a fox or maybe a car as there's a road nearby but I think I was in a deep enough spot where the road wouldn't be visible? I don't think it was a person, it should have made more noise then.. probably a fox. But that's not good, either. I don't know if u should go back cause I'm gonna be paranoid. I was so close, why can't it just go right?
 
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Terrible_Life_99

Student
Jul 3, 2025
134
I'm so sorry your attempt failed. I'm also afraid of my ctb attempt. I think in the final moments some humans will find everything possible to give them a reason to stop the attempt. But of course in your case it was also risky who knows maybe it was someone and he would've called an ambulance etc….
 
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ssUser34

ssUser34

Heart is hurting
Apr 12, 2025
12
I'm so sorry your attempt failed. I'm also afraid of my ctb attempt. I think in the final moments some humans will find everything possible to give them a reason to stop the attempt. But of course in your case it was also risky who knows maybe it was someone and he would've called an ambulance etc….
Maybe I'm just coming to my senses as this is unplanned but yeah :( I just went back I think there's no one here, but still so scared, it's dark.
 
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Terrible_Life_99

Student
Jul 3, 2025
134
Maybe I'm just coming to my senses as this is unplanned but yeah :( I just went back I think there's no one here, but still so scared, it's dark.
Try it on another day but the second time before you do it make a final test run where you simply simulate as if you'd ctb. If then the place and everything was fine then you might be more confident when you have your second attempt
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Arcanist
Jul 9, 2025
489
I guess it was not your time to leave. It's my philosophy about suicide and death in general : when it's time it's time, when it's not time it's not time.
I plan to leave with SN and I'm OK with the idea to stop the process just before drinking it. It's not about cowardice. A failed attempt is better than ending as a vegetable the rest of your life. Hugs to you. I hope you'll find peace soon 🕊️
 
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