Story IDK if I actually want to CTB.

[recovered21]

I made a post here in Feb of 2020 pre-pandemic. A few days after the post, I was collecting supplies for my CTB and managed to get wasted drunk. I said everything I was thinking since I got hospitalized. It was an insanely horrible. I vaguely remember begging the psychiatrist for help and being discharged anyway. As the lockdowns started I when into mania and I actually started getting better afterwards. It stayed that way for a while and it was the best time of my entire life.

Slowly the insanity started slipping in. I've gotten a bunch flashy new diagnosises. Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, POTS and Mast cell activation syndrome. The pain is insane constantly. I've been avoiding opioids at all costs (I've seen too many people detox in the psych wards to touch them). I use medical marijuana tho and it does help.

I feel like a crazy person but I'm 99.9% food is the source of my auditory hallucinations, my extreme mood swings, and general poor quality of life. If I'm itchy, covered in hives, puffy face my auditory hallucinations and mood swings are problematic.

Rambling aside. I want to CTB because I can't stand this. I feel so shamed of myself and I just feel exhausted. I've been a one person army far too long. I'm sick of the 15 mins to prove my case to the doctors. Sickest part is I don't go into anaphylactic stock now matter how hard I try. Just vomiting machine.

I feel like lost everything again and I don't know if I can dig myself out again. A gun would be easier.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Sorry that you're going through this too, I know how shitty medical issues can make your life. Have you tried a low histamine diet? I've been told I probably have a mast cell issue, but because I have a bunch of other medical diets I have to follow, I haven't really committed the the low histamine one yet.

I'm also thinking about trying ketamine treatments for my pain. Maybe that's something to look into.

 

[recovered21]

Sorry that you're going through this too, I know how shitty medical issues can make your life. Have you tried a low histamine diet? I've been told I probably have a mast cell issue, but because I have a bunch of other medical diets I have to follow, I haven't really committed the the low histamine one yet.

I'm also thinking about trying ketamine treatments for my pain. Maybe that's something to look into.

I've been having difficulty compliance with the low histamine diet. I've been told by my allergist to not eat anything that makes my mouth itchy. Currently that's just eggs. I do noticed huge improvements if I stick to just eggs.

It's kinda a living hell. Can't be around any animals, I get severe hay fever going in stores, eggs are what I can safely eat without itching. Hell I have to get my meds lactose free or I'll get covered in hives.

I've heard so many good things about ketamine. Financially it's not an option for me. But I do hope it gets picked up by insurances more.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this disease too. It's an insane buried.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you have to go through, it's so incredibly unfair how this life can torture people in such a way. But anyway I wish you the best of luck.

 

[IWantPeace99]

I made a post here in Feb of 2020 pre-pandemic. A few days after the post, I was collecting supplies for my CTB and managed to get wasted drunk. I said everything I was thinking since I got hospitalized. It was an insanely horrible. I vaguely remember begging the psychiatrist for help and being discharged anyway. As the lockdowns started I when into mania and I actually started getting better afterwards. It stayed that way for a while and it was the best time of my entire life.

Slowly the insanity started slipping in. I've gotten a bunch flashy new diagnosises. Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, POTS and Mast cell activation syndrome. The pain is insane constantly. I've been avoiding opioids at all costs (I've seen too many people detox in the psych wards to touch them). I use medical marijuana tho and it does help.

I feel like a crazy person but I'm 99.9% food is the source of my auditory hallucinations, my extreme mood swings, and general poor quality of life. If I'm itchy, covered in hives, puffy face my auditory hallucinations and mood swings are problematic.

Rambling aside. I want to CTB because I can't stand this. I feel so shamed of myself and I just feel exhausted. I've been a one person army far too long. I'm sick of the 15 mins to prove my case to the doctors. Sickest part is I don't go into anaphylactic stock now matter how hard I try. Just vomiting machine.

I feel like lost everything again and I don't know if I can dig myself out again. A gun would be easier.

I have the exact same symptoms you have. I also looked into MCAS, but the doctors took a biopt of my stomach lining and there were no abnormalities. Antihistamines also dont work for me. Normally i can deal with the symptoms. Do you also have eczema in you face? And the hives, do they feel like your pores are burning on the inside, very itchy? Ive dealth with these symptoms for 7 years now. I tried all the dieets under the sun and tried dozens of supplements. I quit alcohol for a year and ate very clean, but it just doesnt help.

Its nice to know im not the only one dealing with this shit.

mY life was great before this started at 17. Now its just suffering everyday.

 

[recovered21]

I have the exact same symptoms you have. I also looked into MCAS, but the doctors took a biopt of my stomach lining and there were no abnormalities. Antihistamines also dont work for me. Normally i can deal with the symptoms. Do you also have eczema in you face? And the hives, do they feel like your pores are burning on the inside, very itchy? Ive dealth with these symptoms for 7 years now. I tried all the dieets under the sun and tried dozens of supplements. I quit alcohol for a year and ate very clean, but it just doesnt help.

Its nice to know im not the only one dealing with this shit.

mY life was great before this started at 17. Now its just suffering everyday.

I'm so sorry you're struggling too. Mast Cell activation syndrome is insanely hard to get diagnosed. I also don't respond to antihistamines. I've had minor success with Cromolyn Sodium Ampules and quercetin. I failed the urine test but I was able to get a very nice GP to give me Cromolyn. I did have a very positive biopsy in my GI tract. Currently my allergist refuses to treat me beyond OAS (I'm actually allergic to 1 plant). My partner wants me to go out of state to see a better allergist.

I don't get much face eczema. Back eczema is seems to be my problem. The hives are really painful for me too. Sometimes is feels like I lit my skin with a lighter all over my body. Do you get the insane stomach cramping?

I think I've had it my whole life. But it got really bad in my young adulthood.

It's an awful disease and very few people are understanding of how out of control it is. it's impossible to be on top of it. I want to get better and be a normal 25 year old. Currently, my reality is stomach cramps, pins and needles all over my body, burning skin feeling, migraines, and exhaustion.