Yes i wish i had never been born. i didn't have any problems for 13.8 billion years before i was born. the problems began for me only after they birthed me into this hell as an always hungry small animal whose brain can suffer unending constant unbearable pain, after they imposed this hell on me
. i have to and want to kill these monstrous cells they call a human body i'm imprisoned in. there is pain so bad that it makes everything else meaningless. to me everything else is meaningless anyway even if there were no suffering no pain no problems but that's impossible in this world and universe.
there is no reason why i have to live or have to want to live or to do anything . the only real objective things are extreme suffering and extreme pain . so i want to avoid extreme pain and extreme suffering.
the only reasons i do anything is to avoid pain like hunger , homelessness so i have to work clean fix things chores 15 hours a day doing all kinds of garbage tasks for no objective reason. and everyone thinks this is ok . but they say i'm crazy for not loving this . for example now i have to clean the kitchen the whole apartment take out bags of trash out to the dumpster which is blocks away in the cold and i'm tired lazy as fuck and i'm disabled and after working all day groceries and fixing problems chores. and i have to wash clothes fix the car tomorow : i hate doing all this shit i don't want to do anything why ? why ? there is no reason.: this is every fucking day. and all i;m doing is working all day just to exist to be under threat of falling into a trap of extreme torture and getting old , decaying into which will one day be an old decaying slowly walking living corpse ( this is what they constantly tell us is beautiful or worth something no it;s extreme torture i worked in an nursing home very old age is a nightmare beyond imagination )
the problem is i fear failing a suicide method and remaining alive with more brain damage. If i hadn't been born then i wouldn't have this proble nor any , i wouldn't have to risk brain damage to kill myself i would be already non-existent as i was before being born into this hell.
so never being born is the best thing for me. # 2 is if they hadn't made someone helping you with suicide a crime i wouldn't have to defeat si and my suicide would be a billion times less risky guaranteed . but still never being born is a quintillion times better than having someone help or suicide booths , nembutal etc. cause there still is a 1 in a million chance of something going wrong pain and you still have to kill yourself. not existing forever is the only perfection.
They keep saying suicide is easy but Just in the USA 31/32 suicide attempts fail. and that's with guns here which are orders of magnitude easier and more deadly that other methods that are available .
they keep saying it's easy to kill yourself then why did they ban and make into crimes all the easy painless guaranteed methods? to keep people in the prison.
the problem is i can't pay someone to shoot me in the head because they made that a crime. so i have to defeat si, defeat addictions , defeat brainwashing and risk brain damage by doing a risky diy suicide method.
the problem is i have to work to get my method and plan ready with so many disabilities mental , brainwashing, physical and others. no focus, adhd, addictions etc.
the only reason i do anything is to avoid pain and because i haven;t killed myself yet and because they birthed me into this hell , they imposed this hell on me and then locked the prison door by making it a crime for u to be able to pay someone to shoot you or kill you.
I said above that in this universe it's impossible not to suffer , not to feel pain, not to have problems nor bad memories. there is only one thing in which there are no problems no pain no suffering no bad memories . Only one thing,. only non-existence forever can guarantee never any suffering ,pain ,problems nor bad memories .therefore non-existence forever is the only perfection , the absolute perfection
imo most humans think life is good important that all these meaningless addictions matter. nothing matters except avoiding extreme suffering and extreme pain. in 150 years every one of the living 8 billion humans will be dead and forgotten. they and everything they did will never exist forever. it will be as is they and every thing they did never existed never happened at all . in 10,000 years this is even more appparant and that nothing matters. in a trillion years even more so. but they believe a small animal will outlive a trillion quintillion years where is the power source . i have to throw bags of food every day just to power this shit brain for a few hours each to do what watch youtube
everything requires a constant power source . everything decays breaks down causes problems . that is an inherent law of the universe called the law of Entropy. i think the universe is the law of entropy and imo that is evidenced by the constant expansion of the universe that has always expanded and will continue to expand until it is so diluted there is nothing forever .....
even black holes and protons will decay with time . that is what the universe does and always has gone to equilbrium . it is entropic. it is entropy. that is why everything breaks down eventually and needs constant work and energy source to keep going. an eternal afterlife goes against everything the universe is ,nothing is eternal , all will end all will decay. this universe / existence was just a blip an abomination of extreme torture which will expand to noithingness. the universe since the big bang has always expanded . everything goes to equilibrium the same , the same nothingness to nothing forever .
One of the rules about entropy is that it cannot decrease. What is the effect of this on our everyday lives? To better understand let’s zoom in on the molecular basis of matter.
www.heinenhopman.com
seems like most on this thread would rather not have been born . and many from different cultures , ages, experiences. i wonder at what rate the general population would answer?
