F
Forever Sleep
Earned it we have...
- May 4, 2022
- 10,082
If you could get rid of your suicidal thoughts, would you? Do you think it would change how you live? If a part of you wants to hold on to those thoughts, do you suppose full 'recovery' is even possible?
Personally, I've had ideation for so long, it feels like it's a part of my character. Oddly, I don't think it's really affected how I lived. I was very ambitious as a child. It was part of my coping mechanism. So, it didn't really hold me back from trying to live. That's because I've felt like I had to though. I've pretty much always told myself that I can't CTB while certain people are still alive.
But I suppose it's one of the reasons really trying at 'recovery' doesn't interest me. I don't particularly want to change how I think. I suppose because CTB is still my long-term aim.
Personally, I've had ideation for so long, it feels like it's a part of my character. Oddly, I don't think it's really affected how I lived. I was very ambitious as a child. It was part of my coping mechanism. So, it didn't really hold me back from trying to live. That's because I've felt like I had to though. I've pretty much always told myself that I can't CTB while certain people are still alive.
But I suppose it's one of the reasons really trying at 'recovery' doesn't interest me. I don't particularly want to change how I think. I suppose because CTB is still my long-term aim.