Discussion If you could push a button to get rid of your suicidal thoughts, would you? Poll

[Emeralds]

It wouldn't make a difference. Getting rid of the suicidal thoughts themselves wouldn't solve anything. The thoughts just don't come out of nowhere for no reason. The underlying cause would have to be addressed.

The thoughts themselves aren't the problem. I can always put them in the back of my mind when I have to concentrate on doing other things. I would still have the same problems and be trapped in the same circumstances that are causing the suicidal thoughts.

 

[Trav1989]

I vote no personally because my desire to CTB stems from my life experiences panning out badly and not desiring to CTB would be the same as taking a "happy pill" while your world burns around you.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I originally polled, "I'm not sure," but changed it to no. It's an issue of choice and freedom.

It reminds me of this Cioran quote:

 

[cantThinkOfName]

Depends. Does it fix the problems that cause it or do I no longer want to kill myself and just feel miserable. If the former then yes, if the latter then I'd rather have the desire to kill myself so that the choice to keep living or end it is always on the table. Maybe I'll decide to live and end up happy or maybe it's better to get it over with and die. Either way I'd like to feel the desire so that I have that choice to make.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

no. i want more suicidal ideation for me .

The more i thought about it and researched the more logical and rational suicide seems to me.

I need to and want to kill myself . My suicide is the most rational thing I could do by a trillion times more rational than anything else I could do. Is it rational to sit there watching youtube tv ? For what reason? Is it rational to work so hard everyday suffering , trying to solve bad problems just to exist another day so that something extremely horrible can happen to you and to get old? Not imo

 

[rozeske]

No. I think I would have wanted that if I had an objectively good enough life but my suicidal ideation was making me not enjoy it. When your ability to enjoy life is deteriorating due to your suicidal ideation, you remove that ideation and you will be left with a life that you can live and enjoy. The problem is when it's the quality of your life that's causing your suicidal thoughts. Remove that and you will only be left with a shitty life and all that it's brought with it. I need my suicidal thoughts, they are the only things that help me get through the day. The possibility of an exit is what helps me sleep through the night.

 

[Reflection]

If the suicidal thoughts themselves are gone but the pain stays then that would only subject me to a life of suffering with no way out until I eventually die, that or perhaps it'll make me a masochist. In which case I'd rather just go...Right now I'm guessing the only thing that could end my suffering and that I can achieve is death, unless there's something that causes one to completely erase some of their memories and start fresh.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Good question, it took me some time to think about this. My initial thought was no, it would not change a thing because my reasons for ctb are situational and my situation will not change, so it would just prolong more suffering. But rather than idealising it, It would be better to just make the rational decision to take my life, make the necessary plans and just get on with things until the time is right to act on them.

 

[banger12]

They're the sane side of me tbh. I need to keep that option on the table. Always.

 

[justkatie]

I've wrote unsure.

It's not that I don't want the thoughts, but the fact that the issues causing the thoughts remain regardless if they effect me negatively or not, would surely cause the thoughts to return.

 

[outrider567]

No, because getting rid of my suicidal thoughts would be impossible, with my girlfriend still being dead

 

[SketchTurner]

I already try as much as I can to improve things and don't get very far. Making me want to live wouldn't do much more than I already do. Removing the suicidal thoughts would just trap me in the constant mental breakdown of trying and failing with no escape.

 

[sunsetting]

Nope. If I get rid of those then I'm not myself anymore.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't think it matters either way as I'd be suicidal again due to how my suicidality is related to life itself and how I'm forced to be a human and do human related things such as work and responsibilities. Getting rid of my suicidal thoughts without getting rid of me is impossible. My suicidal thoughts can only die if I die

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Hard to say. I did ECT for a while, and that helped to quiet it for a bit, but I would have had to keep going so often that I wouldn't have been able to do "regular things"

 

[IBGONE]

I wouldn't,only because the circumstances of me wanting to CTB would still exist in my life. Unfortunately,those circumstances appear are going to remain with me until my demise whenever that may be.

 

[Shrike]

No. They're a symptom not the problem.

 

[metothemoon]

No, that means I have to live my life. Living in this world is not worth it. Not being able to CTB is just waiting and suffering till you die naturally

 

[vkore]

probably not. those thoughts are my only way out, if i decide to go through with it. if the question was getting rid of my depression overall, then yes. in a heartbeat.

 

[Aergia]

Your polls are the best. I've wondered about this before (the ratio of egosyntonically to egodystonically suicidal members).

I'm not suicidal anymore, but I would've picked No back when I was. I didn't think my suicidality was necessarily irrational, so I didn't want the thoughts to go away without anything else changing.

 

[Lost Magic]

Nope because it would take away my autonomy. It's like when they gave spies cyanide capsules in case they were captured. It's peace of mind.

 

[ramon]

I'd push it, right away!!!

Meanwhile, my financial problems, my potencial for developing dementia (3 relatives already diagnosed), and my never fading memories of horrible past events are constantly pushing me into CTB.

 

[Flippintogo]

Yes. It would give me the energy to face my problems again.

 

[kat6]

No. To me, it's a comforting thought that has gotten me out of some dark holes. I know it's somewhat counterintuitive, but to me, it comes down to control. It's me assuring myself that I'm not doomed to a life of misery and pain and that I can leave if my quality of life becomes progressively and irreversibly unbearable. "Leaning" into that thought allows me to calm down and live more in the present, enjoy little things and relax a little.

I think it's a similar idea for people who are in recovery for alcoholism etc. I hear that they never say "I'll never drink again" because the massiveness of "forever" makes it too much. So they just say "not today" every day. It's kind of the same for me. By not fighting the ideation, I can accept it and just be like "I don't need to do it today" or really any time soon. But one day, I might and it's ok.

 

[TAW122]

No I wouldn't, because I see CTB ideation and thoughts are the symptoms of problems and suffering that is a product of sentience (life itself), and getting rid of CTB ideation or thoughts won't necessarily solve them and in fact, leaves me just trapped in misery unable to escape torment. Plus, CTB is pathologized heavily through the healthcare/medical system and in the past, stigmatized heavily in social contexts and cultures, rather than being seen as a rational or sometimes honorable (in ancient societies) way of getting out of perpetual suffering.

 

[finishLana]

I wish I could completely eliminate suicidal thoughts out of my head, that would allow me to focus on how to make my life better and maybe take actions that would be helpful. But suicidal ideation is my form of mental avoidance of dealing with stuff I find to difficult so it's more alluring for my depressed brain to dwell on giving up and suicidal ideation. Depression already took years of my life and Im still alive, apart from planning and thinking about death, who knows if Im actually gonna succeed with it, so Im actually angry at myself for having this weird obsession over giving up and wasting time on this site instead of doing something else.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

No, without suicidality I would probably end in a nursing home.

 

[L'absent]

No, I don't like living in the illusion of a pleasant life. It isn't, it will always be a loss, we are not meant to be happy except through illusion. And the illusion is evil. You gain one point of "happiness" and pay for it with 10 of pain and suffering. This nonsense of existence must be stopped as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Forveleth]

My thoughts are the result of long-term depression and my life circumstances. Getting rid of any suicidal ideation would leave me just as miserable but now without any method of escaping my misery. Suicide is my solution to a lifelong problem and I can't wait for the day my brain finally says "enough".

 

[Namelesa]

I am unsure cus I feel like my suicidal thoughts have given me hope but have also regrets. My parents sadly trap me here and do anything to prevent me from dying so I still trapped but I feel less like that with my suicidal thoughts as if I can find a method to use then I have a way out of my suffering.

I do feel regretful for them tho sometimes cus I know my best friend gets upset when i mention about them and gets worried about me dying as he does rely on me a bit for emotional support however I don't really care about upsetting other people with these thoughts.