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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

🔑 Friends with Aera23
Apr 10, 2025
1,336
Think so, better to treat early than late, and even before/during*/after treatment, nightnight option^ isn't fully going away

*assuming one has at home days
^ by @Kooz , option there as insurance.
 
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Nightfoot

Specialist
Aug 7, 2025
360
I'm so sorry. It's a tortured living hell to be this depressed.

I'm so happy to hear your parents had relatively painless deaths. I hear so many horror stories and ir scares me.
If only the torture were enough to override the fear of CBT, but that doesn't seem to be the case so far.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Enlightened
May 7, 2025
1,687
Be careful what you say to them, doctors can make judgment calls with DNR's if they think your depressed and not of a sound mind.
I know... which is why I couldn't just come right out and say it... and why I eventually gave up and let him have his way, because there was no way to logically argue why I didn't want to be brought back for a minor disturbance that didn't affect my physical health without admitting to being suicidal.
 
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GeneTunney

Member
Feb 3, 2023
13
This is something I quietly wish for. My chosen ctb methods require a degree of practicality I don't have (I'll screw it up and end up in a vegetative state, I am fairly certain.) So allowing nature to take its course sounds, if not appealing, then something that would be almost a relief.
 
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E

elemental_rain

Member
Sep 2, 2025
6
I'm a 56(f). I never go to the doctor anymore and never had a mammogram. I would never put myself through crueling surgeries, chemo, radiation ect. anyway I also have a genetic condition I inherited from my father where I am very high risk for a younger age heart attack any day.(His started at 42) I stopped taking my meds for that and been eating like shit. I just don't care. My depression is so severe I am in bed mostly all day. A sudden heart attack is my dream. So for you older folks on here, do you bother with physical health checks or not care either?
Its hard to say honestly. Ive seen people die from cancer and its such an awful and painful way to go. I think it would me be that I would use it as a fuel to give me courage to ctb and as a more justified reason so I could feel less guilt
 
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NearlyIrrelevantCake

NearlyIrrelevantCake

The Cake Is A Lie
Aug 12, 2021
2,150
I would only accept pain medication and palliative treatment.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
13,244
I don't go for checks. But- it's complicated...

Years back, I got the most terrific pain in the chest. I thought it was a heart attack. I was ready to die so, didn't call for an ambulance. It was a work day though. After maybe half an hour, the very intense pain had subsided more or less but obviously- I hadn't died.

I still didn't feel well though and whatever it was felt serious. So- I called in sick to work and went in to a walk- in medical centre. Long story short- it was gallstones. Between my reluctance to see doctors and NHS incompetence, I'd had 13 more attacks over a space of many months before I couldn't cope anymore.

In that time, I'd become terrified to eat anything for fear of triggering an attack. But yeah- it got to the point where an attack happened but, the pain wasn't going- days and nights of it. Turns out a stone and bunch of sludge was now in the bile duct. I suspect that eventually could have lead to pancreatitus and possibly death. My Bilirubin results showed I was jaundice.

The thing I think people don't consider with allowing natural death to take them though is: How long it might take. How much pain they'll have to go through- even with pain killers. Whether they'll be able to work with that pain- if they can't afford to support themselves otherwise.

These things can take time even to diagnose. In which time- you could well be in pain. I'm not so sure it's as simple as it all being laid out for you- you have this cancer. It will take 6 months to a year to kill you. You'll experience this amount of pain. These are the pain killers we'll give you.

In my experience, I just wanted to be out of the agony and uncertainty I was in. I couldn't be sure it would ever kill me but, neither did I want to live with the threat of being in agony every so often.

I guess there were other reasons I didn't have the: 'I don't want treatment' conversation with them. I've been trying so hard to wait for my Dad to go first. I'm really not sure now though- if it happened again, what I'd do.

It just makes me wonder though too. How willing are doctors likely to be to support a patient in not wanting treatment? Will they be really generous with pain management? Or, will they get petty about it?

I imagine doctors would be pro- life. Wouldn't they at least ask why we don't want saving? Wouldn't they then push to treat things like depression? Which I imagine would be their assumption. I don't have a prolongued history of it. But- if they bothered to check, I was prescribed Fluoxetine years ago and more worrying, is the welfare check for SN. I'm sure they'd ask me about that. I just wonder how easy they would make it for us. Their duty is to care after all. Whether we want them to or not.

I even wondered what a good excuse would be. I don't think they'd like a dislike for life as an excuse because, they'd equate that with depression which presumably, they think they can cure. I thought maybe saying receiving treatment was against my religious beliefs could be a good tactic. (Not that I have any.) Who can argue with religious beliefs ultimately?

Although, maybe it would seem strange to accept pain relief but, not treatment. That would be my most major concern though- would the pain relief provided be sufficient if you didn't play their game? I wouldn't want to face something like cancer without it.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,809
Cancer is usually very painful. And one can be in constant pain for months until you finally die. So to me drinking nembutal would be quicker and less painful no pain also shooting myself can be usually instant no pain so i would rather kill myself with one of those methods than suffer for months. Angelique flowers a young woman in her early 30s got colon cancer which blocked her colon. He describes the pain in a video I saw so bad that even fentanyl our masters allowed her to have didn't stop the pain when the worst of it hit


Any human or other animal can get cancer any second. There is a 40% lifetime chance of a human getting cancer . That alone shows life is bad .and yes even domestic cats who have an "easy" life can get cancer and suffer unbearable pain . This is just one out of many ways life can torture humans and other animals with a brain

Imo most humans have no understanding how bad pain is. I bit my tongue accidentally yesterday. That 1/5 of a second the point of my teeth were in contact with less than a millimeter square of skin on my tongue was so bad there are no words. multiplying that by most of the skin on body would literally be a million times more skin area pain more receptors. then the pain was an instant less than a second . but the brain has the ability to produce unbearable pain for a second it's conceivable that the pain can keep at that level for not just a second but hours days every second not a seconds relief from the peak of the worst pain every second for years



41416_2015_Article_BFbjc2014606_Fig1_HTML.jpg


I would want my Death asap anyway even if thre were no pain . But to have to struggle in this nightmare risking a hell that is a trillion times worse for no reason other than being a slave.... it's beyond comprehension the evil of life and this world. Get me out of here I never asked for this hell
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
2,778
I have always had the same philosophy with cancer since I was young. If it is caught early (it is curable) and the treatment would not put me into crushing debt (I am in the US) then I would get treatment. If I have something like a year to live and chemo would push that out another 6 months and cost $500k, nope. I am ok with palliative care and however long I have left.

Ironically though, I am trying to keep myself healthy for other conditions. Although a stroke or heart attack could kill me, they might also leave me disabled. I not willing to risk that.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
45,363
No as I just want peace, I don't want to suffer in this terrible, dreadful existence, for me existence could never be worth it and I don't want to be tortured in this existence, instead I just want all to be forgotten for me in non-existence, I wish for no more pain and no more suffering and I'll always see this torturous existence as only suffering, only non-existence can bring me the relief I search for and is all that's positive in this existence so undesirable, I'll always see it as an abomination to suffer in this dreadful existence no matter what.
 
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Kali_Yuga13

Kali_Yuga13

Warlock
Jul 11, 2024
724
I even wondered what a good excuse would be. I don't think they'd like a dislike for life as an excuse because, they'd equate that with depression which presumably, they think they can cure.
It's a fuzzy area because how can they separate clinical depression from the impact of a terminal diagnosis? They can't really unless the person has a medical paper trail of being institutionalized and psych meds. A one-off Rx for Fluoxetine wouldn't be a big deal imo.

It's on the patient to "play the game" to some extent even when terminal. The other half of the doctors job is protecting the hospital from lawsuits and when it comes to terminal illness and grieving family, the risk is higher. They'll start at lower doses of pain meds and check in. If the patient takes 1 month of meds in the first week they may throttle it back. The patient has to say something like 'it's sort of working but my pain is still at a 8" to nudge the doctor along to up the script while sounding reasonable. It's all silly nonsense, if a doctor is worried about "addiction" for someone with less than a year to live it's more about cya for them and maintaining hospital compliance.
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Warlock
Jul 9, 2025
704
I've been thinking at this question for a while and I'd say I don't want treatments. Just leave me alone with chemo, I suffered too much in this shitty life. But my SI would probably say "let's try a treatment". The "good news" if you are terminally ill is that you have access to euthanasia more easily.
 
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GhostInTheMachine

GhostInTheMachine

Safeguard
Nov 5, 2023
517
Wouldn't seek it. Told my BF as much too. I don't have the means to fight it, nor do I care to muster up the will too.
 
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tulero

Member
Mar 20, 2025
95
nope, either going to paliatives or asking for eutha

its not that bad dying from a morphine OD
 
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Morte

Morte

Specialist
Nov 23, 2023
382
ofc, death from cancer is one the worst; i'd rather have my fate on my hands instead of some random underseved illness.
 
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Kitsune_BCN

Kitsune_BCN

Member
Sep 8, 2025
97
I'm a 56(f). I never go to the doctor anymore and never had a mammogram. I would never put myself through crueling surgeries, chemo, radiation ect. anyway I also have a genetic condition I inherited from my father where I am very high risk for a younger age heart attack any day.(His started at 42) I stopped taking my meds for that and been eating like shit. I just don't care. My depression is so severe I am in bed mostly all day. A sudden heart attack is my dream. So for you older folks on here, do you bother with physical health checks or not care either?

Almost same. I eat very healthy for lunch but because somebody cooks for me. Very bad for dinners because im bedridden. Turns out theres a condition in my family (father) for heart attack like you. Im not fat but i have a little bit of belly. I dont care. They say that ultraprocessed food is super bad. Well, lets see if it is lol and I die all of a sudden.

Zero medical checks crew.
 
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stardewwindceres

stardewwindceres

Flesh Coffin
Oct 2, 2025
51
I'm a 56(f). I never go to the doctor anymore and never had a mammogram. I would never put myself through crueling surgeries, chemo, radiation ect. anyway I also have a genetic condition I inherited from my father where I am very high risk for a younger age heart attack any day.(His started at 42) I stopped taking my meds for that and been eating like shit. I just don't care. My depression is so severe I am in bed mostly all day. A sudden heart attack is my dream. So for you older folks on here, do you bother with physical health checks or not care either?
I'm about to be 40. I haven't seen a medical doctor since I was in my 20s. Never had a mammogram either. I would like to know what the illness is, but I would never do chemo or radiation. Even if you refuse treatment, you are still, from what I understand, able to receive hospice and palliative care so you are made as comfortable as possible. I don't want to live life relatively healthy much less with something like cancer. My mom' side of the family has a history of heart issues. I've had an eating disorder on and off since I was a teenager, I've been smoking since I was a teenager, I did A LOT of hard drugs in my 20s. I've done a lot of damage to my body and I'm finally starting to feel it since my anorexia relapse about 4 months ago. I have my CTB plan, which is now dependent on money and whether I can source a drug, or if I can't I have to find another way, but same as you, a sudden heart attack, or heart event of any kind, especially in my sleep, is my dream. Sleeping and never waking up, naturally or by chemical/OD. I don't know what's going to happen to me, health-wise, or what is already happening- I don't give a shit about anything at all. All I want to do is sleep 24/7. But I can't so I feel those meaningless hours with more bullshit distractions because I can't summon the energy or motivation or will to get out of bed. I just can't. I passed out in public, running away, the other day and some well-meaning asshole drove me to the hospital, so I found out that my electrolytes and iron was fucked up and they fixed that and recommend that I get a handle on my ED. But I don't voluntarily plan on going to doctors anytime. Just the obligatory phone call to my psychiatrist and therapist once a month. And why would I tell them the truth?

Ha sorry, kind of a vent there, but tl;dr:
No, I am about to be 40 in a few days and I am already sickly and I don't give a SHIT about my health. Lost interest around my early-mid 20s for many reasons. So, yeah 100% with you on this.
 
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Z

Zerengin96

Student
Jun 14, 2022
191
probably not, would wait till it becomes terminal so i might have a chance of getting put to sleep by my government
 
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shampoo sniffer

shampoo sniffer

Lather rinse repeat
Aug 10, 2025
152
It sounds terrible, but cancer is something I wish for. That being said, I have had two uncles pass away from cancer and it wasn't a nice experience. I'd probably wish for the type of cancer that takes me out quickly, if there is such a thing.

I'm already in pain anyway. If I had cancer, at least I'd be able to die with my relatives around me.
 
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S

softtodie

Member
Feb 24, 2025
28
I have thought about this before and, I don't think I would seek treatment. at times I would say yes to treatment because I know cancer is a very painful way to go, having watched family members go through it and even worse euthanasia is not currently available for terminal illness although that will be changing soon I think. But I don't want to live anymore and that's more significant to me then being in pain, I would hope to seek pain medication hopefully to ease the pain and if euthanasia is legal at that point, then that would be my route.
 
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MissAbyss

MissAbyss

"2 be, or not 2 be, that is the answer."
Jul 20, 2025
204
No, I feel sorry for those who had to deal with it or died from it while they would have liked to survive. But for me personally it would be the..

Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory Charlie GIF
 
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D

dontwakemeup

Elementalist
Nov 11, 2024
836
I'm a 56(f). I never go to the doctor anymore and never had a mammogram. I would never put myself through crueling surgeries, chemo, radiation ect. anyway I also have a genetic condition I inherited from my father where I am very high risk for a younger age heart attack any day.(His started at 42) I stopped taking my meds for that and been eating like shit. I just don't care. My depression is so severe I am in bed mostly all day. A sudden heart attack is my dream. So for you older folks on here, do you bother with physical health checks or not care either?
If the dr ever told me I has cancer, I'd be so happy! I would only have 2 questions for him. 1. How long do I have left to live? 2. Can I please have my pain managed finally? I suffer from chronic pain and it would be great to have a pain free day for once. I would deny any treatment and my only hope is that I would be leaving soon.

I recently got sick and I could hear the fluid in my lungs. I didn't care at all. I bought some Amazon and mucinex and slept for 3 days. I figured is was pneumonia and didn't care. Well seems I'm still here 😢
 
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Pale_Rider

Pale_Rider

Enlightened
Apr 21, 2025
1,076
Yes, because one of my operating parameters is I'm not going to let somebody else, or thing kill me. BUT/ that would mean copious amounts of opiates granting me my preferred method which would be good should I decide to give up, or deny cancer its "victory".
 
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Manaaja

Manaaja

euROPE
Sep 10, 2018
1,545
My friend's aunt's work place has been doing a study about breast cancer.

They have a study group of women, who never take hormones or vaccines, never wear bras, and who often go shirtless outside giving their breasts and nipples fresh air and sunlight. Another study group of women who always wear bras and shirts when outside their house, and who take hormones and vaccines.

I'm really interested to see the results, sadly, it's still 6 years before the research is complete and the results can be published. I hope everyone on this site will live long enough to see the results.

Hopefully, of course, no one in either study group gets breast cancer, and everyone can live a happy, healthy life.

As for me, I think cancer is horrible. I'd never want anyone to suffer from cancer.
 
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D

dudebl

Member
Aug 29, 2025
70
Absolutely not! I pray everyday I come down with cancer! Idc about pain as long as I knew I had a year or so to live.

I'm already in incomprehensible psychological pain, so at least that would be subdued knowing it will be over soon.
 
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PaxAmericaX

PaxAmericaX

Member
Sep 27, 2025
32
Really profound question. For me if i am honest, i do not know.

I havent had a medical check in ages despite often getting pains. I know cancer can be extremely painful. I think timing and severity are the questions for me.

Is it curable or terminal? Also is it far off or while I am still caregiver to family? If terminal I would probably Ctb. If not I would tske treatment (UK has NHS which is free at point of use though paid throughout life). I 52 but if i was older I may be more leaning on Ctb earlier.
 
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T

treeckofan

1 attempt so far
Oct 11, 2025
7
I would not seek treatment other than palliative care. Right now I'd actually be relieved to get a terminal cancer diagnosis. It'd be a more socially acceptable and I think easier way to go versus the difficult limited options for killing myself.

Cancer sucks and it's unfair that people who want to live get diagnosed with it and have to fight such hard battles. But that's how I feel about it for myself right now.
 
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Raven2

Raven2

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2022
474
I definitely wouldnt seek treatment. Cancer runs in the family, I think one of them was in late stages and died within 18 weeks from diagnosis to death. I'm a heavy smoker so I guess at some stage I'll contract some form of it. If I started getting symptoms I would try and leave it as long as possible to seek a diagnosis so that its hopefully in the later stage and has spread.
 
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Arb

Arb

Ready for what comes after death
Mar 24, 2023
128
I would not, Im hoping i develop cancer, i do everything so the odds are higher, I just want out
 
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Fall_Apart

Fall_Apart

Student
May 22, 2023
153
I had cancer 10 years ago. At the time, I wanted to live, and I took treatment. If I were to discover a new cancer today, I would refuse any treatment and be forced to anticipate my CTB by hanging. I saw terminally ill people dying in those hospital wards, and it was the worst nightmare I've ever seen. Death from cancer is slow and painful, to an extent unimaginable unless you've seen it with your own eyes. However, I haven't had any checkups in eight years, even though they found suspicious lung nodules. I simply don't give a shit anymore.
 
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