Introduce yourself

[color_me_gone]

DM me if you think my lack of positivity is endearing

Hi SoulSearcher,
Glad to have you here on SS!!!
Just to let you know, until you have a little more time and posts on SS, members can't PM you and you can't PM other members, so no one is ignoring you. I find your lack of positivity endearing. It fits in well with everybody here on SS. Hope you enjoy!

 

[color_me_gone]

I love the most is my husky

Greetings, aeroplanes!!!
Most of us are hanging by a thread because of our animals.
Hope you find what you are looking for. I'm in Northern Virginia.

 

[SoulSearcher]

Hi SoulSearcher,
Glad to have you here on SS!!!
Just to let you know, until you have a little more time and posts on SS, members can't PM you and you can't PM other members, so no one is ignoring you. I find your lack of positivity endearing. It fits in well with everybody here on SS. Hope you enjoy!

Now I feel slightly stupid but thank you

 

[color_me_gone]

Now I feel slightly stupid but thank you

No, no, no,no! Stupid is reserved for the cruel world, not for us!
And it took me some time to figure that out too, so you are not alone.
I just didn't want you to think nobody cared.
Here is to you. :)

 

[SoulSearcher]

No, no, no,no! Stupid is reserved for the cruel world, not for us!
And it took me some time to figure that out too, so you are not alone.
I just didn't want you to think nobody cared.
Here is to you. :)

Very kinds thanks a lot I will just bide my time till DM works

 

[Johnnythefox]

Very kinds thanks a lot I will just bide my time till DM works

You could play some of the games on here to up your post count.

 

[SoulSearcher]

You could play some of the games on here to up your post count.

What kind of games are those ?

 

[Johnnythefox]

What kind of games are those ?

There are some word games and numbers game, they can be found in the off topic section.

 

[color_me_gone]

What kind of games are those ?

Just below the title bar, click on the tab that says "FORUMS"
Then below the bar that says "Discussions" click the "OFF TOPIC" category.
Then under the "Normal Threads" bar, you will see many threads.
The threads that are games are marked with a green highlight bar which says: "GAMES".
There are quites a few different games.
I know how hard it is to get used to this software, and there really is not a good explaination anywhere.
It is kind of like on the job training.
Good Luck <<<hugs>>>

 

[Johnnythefox]

What kind of games are those ?

[URL="https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/have-you-ever.9511/page-12#post-193988"]Have You Ever...[/URL]
[URL="https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/counting-game.10053/page-23#post-193928"]Counting game![/URL]
[URL="https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/talk-to-me-in-only-movie-quotes.9412/page-4#post-193755"]Talk to me in only movie quotes...[/URL]
[URL="https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/word-game.918/page-60#post-193638"]Word game[/URL]
[URL="https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/word-game-change-only-one-letter.5277/page-71#post-193626"]Word game change only one letter[/URL]

 

[SoulSearcher]

Just below the title bar, click on the tab that says "FORUMS"
Then below the bar that says "Discussions" click the "OFF TOPIC" category.
Then under the "Normal Threads" bar, you will see many threads.
The threads that are games are marked with a green highlight bar which says: "GAMES".
There are quites a few different games.
I know how hard it is to get used to this software, and there really is not a good explaination anywhere.
It is kind of like on the job training.
Good Luck <<<hugs>>>

Hugs to you too i will try to work it out all the best

 

[SoulSearcher]

There are some word games and numbers game, they can be found in the off topic section.

Thank you

 

[leaps]

I've lost all hope, I'm here for a short time.

 

[Fgogrl]

I feel like a burden to my mom too. I want to set her free but she's my best friend. She's pretty much my reason for living. I'm scared to CTB before she passes. She's the only person I love in this world now.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

Heard about this place on Reddit but ended up just joining yesterday. Thank you each and everyone for are waiting at the bus stop. My time will probably be short... I've ghosted on my friends to find my peace and end the burden I've put on my parents. The abuse they've put on me verbally. H* leaving me even though she made sure she would never do that. Promised me even.

Free time I'm always kicking it around and reading a book. Right now I'm reading Fetch: How a Bad Dog Brought Me Home or reading up on classic Greek philosophy/literature.

 

[Vilthuril]

I am in my early 30s from the northern US. I attempted to ctb a few times, one botched attempt of climbing a water tower while suicidal and drunk which left me with a spine broken in several places. Luckily, after surgery I am able to walk still and am not paralyzed, but I'm guaranteed a life of physical pain from now on, which complements the psychological pain that's been been plaguing me since I was 12 or so.
I have been diagnosed with a few different disorders: BPD/AvPD, major depression, panic disorder w/ agoraphobia, ASD, ADHD and most likely an undiagnosed case of PTSD or C-PTSD, as well as a case of osteonecrosis in my femurs as a child, resulting in lifelong physical pain/discomfort.
I have no real life friends and basically know no one in real life and live an extremely reclusive life. I have a couple of online friends who I have been able to bond with over some shared psychological issues and the fact that we are in a similar boat in life.
At this point, basically the only thing keeping me tied to this mortal coil is my cat, since I presume that she would be saddened and confused by my sudden absence if I was to go through with my intentions at this point in time. I have always loved animals for their kind and nonjudgmental nature, typically preferring them to actual human beings (who, in my estimation, have more often than not turned out to be a huge letdown in comparison ), and I feel compelled to return their loyalty by sticking around to be there for them as long as I can.
Anyway, my cat will most likely live another five years or so and sometimes the anguish and despair seems just unbearable, though it will sometimes ebb and flow or seem to lessen slightly in the short term. I guess we are told that a capacity to endure hardship is a virtue, but it's getting to the point where it feels absurd or masochistic. Or sometimes I feel like I am just a dried out husk that used to be a person and it is just going through the motions, like a windup toy that is still whirring a little but is almost ready to stop.
Anyway, apologies to anyone who waded through this drivel.

 

[HellinHeaven]

Hello, I'm happy that I discovered SS a few days ago and wanna introduce myself a little bit.
I am in my mid 20s and I'm at a crossroads if I will continue living or do the shortcut and stop this torture experiment called life. I have a massive attachment trauma from my childhood (severe operation as a baby and being alone in critical care unit, forced attachment therapy by my dominant mother, send to psychiatric hospital trying to break my will there, a slob as a father, bullying in school, no friends and zero people who I trust and could talk to, ...), with 13 I had concrete suicide plans if life gets worse, but after treatment I was "officially cured" (that means I was just a mask outside and inside empty, so empty that I didn't even realize my situation and how bad I feel.) Some years I proceeded as a solitary "good boy" in school, but after my grandpa died, i fell into depression which last with some ups und downs until today.

My major point is not depression, but the inability to come close to people, on both counts, in sexual way and in relationship issues, and if I ctb, this unbearable loneliness will be be the reaseon in combination with no hope of enhancement. Regulary I got frozen, stand beside me, tremble, loose all feeling within seconds or act like a little child who's looking for unconditional love, combined with so much shame about me, being so sensible, when I meet a girl closer, then I cannot bear it and subsequently need to keep distance again and this is so painful that with every time I try I come nearer to the threshold of death.

I'm an open-minded, sensible, spiritual interested, sarcastic and loyal human. In my leisure time (therefore all the day) I do reading books, sleeping, eating, sitting in front of my PC, being in nature or just waisting time. Either my degrading life is getting significant better this year or we'll see us in Partners Megathread then.
Love you all!

 

[AlreadyDeadInside]

Hello everyone,

I'm a selfdestructive person that just ruins all the good opportunities i get in life. I've always been shy and with the combination of heavy cannabis-consume it had developed into social-anxiety and depression. I've won the fight against depression once, but this time it has led to a most-likely anxiety-related or maybe neurologic urinary incontinence. It has been going on for a year now and no doctor was able to figure it out yet. It has completely destroyed my social life and i've cut off most of my friends (some of them just don't seek contact to me anymore). All I have left now is my family, who are the only reason i didn't kill myself yet. I've been thinking about commiting suicide alot though and i hurt myself pretty often.

 

[Memento Mori]

Well, I'm not in the mood to make a big deal out of this rn ...anyways, I feel like my first post should be in this thread.

BTW I have a lack of knowledge on how to place commas in English but I'm gonna randomly add some to make it more comfortable to read :D

I'm 23 now, living in Germany, waiting for my date with the grim reaper...
I questioned being alive as a thing that feels right since I'm six; obtained suicidal powers with ~11...
And now I'm a superhero on his quest to atone for his selfish behaviour and his self inflicted inability to focus on his environment and really important things instead of his endless mind, full of endless thoughts..until I can finally transcend to a (hopefully) more comfortable place for my heart.

Altough I'm doing nearly nothing than thinking in my free time, I couldn't give you an answer if you'd ask me what I am thinking about at that time...If you'd ask me in RL what music/bands I like, I would have a hard time counting up things...etc.
That's part of my fear of any rejection, even if I don't care what you think - it would still be complicated for me....and its part of my memory problems thanks to my massive drug consumption. xD

Love can bring peace, love can bring war, inside & outside of us...Don't forget to be insightful :)

I don't like antidepressants and antipsychotics, they just make you more empty when you thought you're already empty. Just to say, never put all your hope in some pills. I also don't accept human society, it's just wrong from head to toe...stop working for a comfortable future where you don't have to shit and eat and stand up anymore, what about perfectioning our actual life?...Is it really that bad? We don't have medieval times anymore but still this world is at the top of being lunatic...but maybe it's also on the top of being pleasant and insightful...it all depends on us right now.

I'm merely a human being anymore and I still don't realize all the serious complications waiting for me because of my sluggish lifestyle...and now I'm at a point where I wouldn't matter if I get cancer or any other death sentence while other people around the world wish to exchange with me, even if they have to handle my weakened body...destiny is some sort of a cunt to some ppl don't you think?
Maybe future will proof my negative atittude to be wrong, maybe not...maybe it's just another existence passing by in a giant whirl of matter where 'lovely' and 'cruel' have no actual meaning outside of our fascinating (?) brain.

Anyways, I'm glad to be here and I hope that even the ones of us who seem to never get back to their 'old' happiness some day still may find a shard of hope in their heart that shines so bright that it just purifies the whole blood pumping unit in our chests...

At least theres than exit to it anyways, let's just hope this life wasn't the limbo. xD


Namasté :D

 

[color_me_gone]

I'm 23 now, living in Germany

Hi Mememto Mori, welcome to our playground here at SS.
You will find we all share your problems.
We are a family here, so welcome brother.
You are quite philosophical!
You can share what troubles you have, we will listen.
We will not judge you, because we know how much that sucks in real life.
We are pro-choice, so we support you whether you want to get better, or ctb (catch the bus).
If you want to ctb, you will find much info here on various methods, and what to watchout for.
None of us want to try to ctb and screw it up to the point you can't try again (disabled).
Don't worry about your grammar or punctuation, this is not an English class where we grade you.
I hope you can enjoy yourself here and make friends!
If you have any questions on this site software, just ask!

 

[Memento Mori]

We are pro-choice, so we support you whether you want to get better, or ctb (catch the bus).
If you want to ctb, you will find much info here on various methods, and what to watchout for.
None of us want to try to ctb and screw it up

Yep I've read some questions and ideas here who seem to not work out properly, or could even give you the gift of being disabled for life...My favourite would be opening my artery on both hands, laying somewhere in the forest, either on benzodiazepines or GBL...a warm bathtub is also a good option. But if u don't do that right u just wasted ur time and maybe get detected by someone...Dunno what to think about SN, I've read some threads but still I don't know what happens in the last minutes, and no one can tell...if your body sends out DMT to your brain before death, and let's say: maybe seeing your whole life in a second like some ppl describe is an effect of it, then maybe your last minutes could be hell and last for hellish months like a psychedelic trip of 4 hours can take you away for 4 years, maybe good years maybe bad :D...Already had a similar experience. Once I had a garden where I could have easily untwisted the gas bottle in my little 5x5m² cottage, go to sleep, die 1-2 hours later and just never wake up again. I think that would've been an easy method, perfect to combine with opiates or benzodiazepines + alcohol (hypoventilation)...but with this pills+alcohol+anything - method you may be dying because you puke while sleeping and choke because of that. Like in Breaking Bad if u know that scene, but also sometimes happens in real life, depends on luck if you wake up or not so better use this for hypoventilation and make preparations not to lie on your back.

Don't worry about your grammar or punctuation, this is not an English class where we grade you.

I'd still like to set commas right, it's hard to read blocks of text (like the ones I usually write) without them and for me it seems that in English it's even harder to read when 500 sentences just flow into each other :D grammar and stuff

 

[-L-]

I figure I should break the ice and say hello..
So hello I guess lol..

I'm kinda shy and a bit introverted, I'm really more of a lurker but that is also part of my problem, for the fact that I have been isolating myself more especially as of late from everyone around me.

I'm nearly 21 and have been struggling with my mental health since before the age of 10.
I have a long list of mental health issues, that have only become progressively worse and more debilitating over the last decade to the point where I can hardly get out of bed anymore.. And I only leave the house a handful of times a month at this point.
I am technically in university at the moment but with practically non existent attendance I'm failing badly, and it will only be a matter of time until I get withdrawn from the courses.
I have tried tons of psych meds, different therapy options including DBT multiple times, and hospitalization.. Nothing has been able to help me so far..

At this point I am heavily considering the exit bag with nitrogen as my primary method and have just purchased my flow regulator.
But I still have a tiny bit of hope to try and turn things around if at all possible.
My goal here is to just try and figure my options out, and have some good conversations with likeminded people, regardless of what happens with me in the end..

If you've read this far, thanks for your time!
Cheers!

 

[Alois22]

Hiya there,

I'm Alois ^_^ I have a lot of severe mental health issues to say the least, an eating disorder which has sort of become severe right under my nose? they cause me a lot of distress in everyday life and relationships, I have a multi cultured sort of family but both cultures seem to have the same stance on mental illness so I really got the jack pot there! XDD I love books and fantasy films like lotr, I love animals too but my poor little dog died in July, I didn't want to leave him behind but as much as I hate to say it has been taken care of god rest his soul. I'm also a devout catholic, wanting to ctb and be so religious is bizarre at times, being brought up as suicide is a sin, but when you get older you sort of realise you can resort to these actions and still keep a strong faith, and I admire those who do :)

 

[Pointless]

Hi everybody, i started to having suicidal thoughts when i was 12, now i'am 20, i've been diagnosed with almost everything. I like all form of arts (music, paint, movies ecc.). As i was saying i was depress till 12, at 14 years old i start to get depersonalized and dissociated 24/7 and having a lot of anxiety, i suffered from bulling too. Some years ago i started hearing voices but luckly they seems to be gone now. No one really cared about my situation cause you know "is just adolescence". At 18 i started suffering for panic attacks and start taking benzos and other shits, tried suicide for the first time, survived and endend up in a psichiatric clinic (terrible experience do everything to avoid it). Now i don't go to university, neither can find a fucking job. I have a lovely girlfriend but a lot of times i'm a dickhead to her and things doesn't seems to work fine beetwen us. I had friends who understood me but i let them down and we lost contacts. Basically my life is a disaster. I like a lot helping and hearing people, sorry if i write this badly but i don't know how to express my feelings, hoping some one will read this, i'm ready to help and hear everyone.

 

[Memento Mori]

Some years ago i started hearing voices but luckly they seems to be gone now

I once thought I get filmed by hidden cameras or stalked by neighbours laughing all the time perfectly timed to my thoughts like they could read it... :D

U better don't mess up with ur gf move your arse to fix it by talking

(terrible experience do everything to avoid it)

That depends on where you are and sometimes it depends on personality, for some ppl it may be helpful...I don't like that either

 

[Shinji]

hi. my name is Shinji(pen name). i am an artist and i have been depressed for as long as i remember, i only recently found about it that it was already this. i've been in a really perfect relationship and because of me it all ended. it all ended the same time my academics went down together with it. everything that happened has all been piled up on me. i am really grateful that i have such loving and supporting family, but it makes me feel guilty that i am like this. i couldnt take all of this anymore. i joined this community so i could vent everything while you guys are all listening and giving your support, and i really appreciate that. its just that these days ive really been slowly going down this spiral of despair. each day is worse than the last. ive been taking medication but nothing seems to work, its all temporary happiness. its all temporary feelings. everything still seems to be going down and so far im enjoying where this is going because i can finally have my peace. ive been planning and failing for around 3 times now. but i will be sure of this last one. ive made up my mind that ill make my final art which can satisfy me. I have lived a very good life. and its time to end it.

 

[First loss]

Hello lads. I joined this forum because I am contemplating suicide and will probably do it soon if things don't get better. I tried to hang myself twice but that didn't work so I am here. Some of you maybe know me from incels.is

 

[$uicid3boii$]

Hi,
I'm 17 just trying to die tbh. Wanna hang myself but if it doesn't work I know it can only get worse. I have no ambitions, there's nothing I want to do with life at all. I don't want to be okay, I don't want to be anything. I worry about being reborn, although you wouldn't know it scares me that I could leave people I love behind early only to come back and re-live it all again just differently. I just want to be gone for good.
I'm not religious or anything. Just an overthinker.
Anyone have any insights of what it could be like after death?
Or any easy risk-less ways to go?
The sooner the better.

 

[Hollienomates]

Hi everyone,

I'm Hollie, I'm 15 and I've hated myself pretty much all my life. Nothing really interests me anymore apart from the thought of ending everything. Nobody likes me and tbh I don't blame them.

 

[jbat]

Hi, I am Justin. 28. Already tried once to ctb gonna try again soon. Car crash this time.