Introduce yourself

[Swisher]

>be born
>dope
>already have a sister so I got toys for days
>dope
>grow up in a shitty neighborhood
>not dope
>school is kindergarten- grade 12
>get beat up for Pokémon cards on the daily
>older sister protects me, sometimes
>get bullied lots, as chubby kids do
>find out parents kinda hate each other
>every christmas was a lie
>got n64 though so whatever
>dad starts making more money
>MoOoOOoooovin out the ghetto
>move to safe secluded neighbourhood
>start stealing their Pokémon cards
>just kidding
>everyone is sacred of me cuz I'm "hood tuff"
>have great middle school life
>new challenger approaches
>jr high
>my outer family starts dying off like fleas
>only see them once a year, not traumatized
>parents start drinking and fighting
>great school life, horrible home life
>mr popular at school
>mr hide in my fucking room at home
>new challenger approaches
>high school
>get deep into drugs
>full blown drug addict at 16
>fuckwithmenowdad.jpeg
>kicked my dads ass twice
>sister is angel
>her life story is on the Disney channel
>barely graduate
>sister moves to Thailand
> k peace
>try to CTB and succeed
>just kidding I woke up
>(5 years of foggy drug filled memories)
>get sober, but my mind is gone
>start going a little crazy
>full blown legal drug addict at 22
>start going a little...nothing
>ditch the pills, become a rapper
>release 3 albums
>go on tour across Canada
>start molding a life I can't mentally handle
>hermit mode
>lost my rap group
>lost my friends
>try to CTB, succeed a second time
>just kidding I woke up from that time also
>mom n dad hate me, I assume, who knows
>sister sippin mojitos in Thailand
>can't hold a job
>start selling drugs so I can afford a room
>I'm done selling drugs
>youprobablywouldnthireme.jpeg
>struggle everyday to not go postal
>stay inside all day so im the only one at risk
>self medicate once in awhile
>rinse and repeat for 2 years
>I'm done being a burden
>September 2018 set to be last month
>find this place
>make intro post
>reply to you
>leave out countless other things I don't even want to share with strangers.

You're funny for a dead guy...twice.

 

[Ben]

You're funny for a dead guy...twice.

Ehhhhhh

 

[Swisher]

It's a 4chan thing, it's called "greentext". I browse /r/greentext on reddit and really enjoy the bullet point form of story telling lol

I wrote mine (speech to text)....in a private message. No bullet points. Limited to 402 characters. I wrote a novel about myself and had to divide it ...I think 5 or 6 times.

 

[Ben]

I wrote mine (speech to text)....in a private message. No bullet points. Limited to 402 characters. I wrote a novel about myself and had to divide it ...I think 5 or 6 times.

You wrote a book about yourself? That's badass, good for you! Is just for you?

I just used that format because it's simple, and easy to add humour to a story that is far from humourous lol

 

[Swisher]

You wrote a book about yourself? That's badass, good for you! Is just for you?

I just used that format because it's simple, and easy to add humour to a story that is far from humourous lol

I did start writing a book but not about stuff here. I just meant I tried to share a "petite glimpse" of my current state of affairs. I am verbose and loquacious. it became ridiculously long. I then also died... due to carpal tunnel using a stylus to share this story on my phone.

 

[Ben]

I did start writing a book but not about stuff here. I just meant I tried to share a "petite glimpse" of my current state of affairs. I am verbose and loquacious. it became ridiculously long. I then also died... due to carpal tunnel using a stylus to share this story on my phone.

Ahh I see I see. When I started writing that, I knew I was going to end it with "and a bunch of shit I won't mention", because yea I would go on and on and on.

What a shit story I'm leaving my name behind with haha

 

[Swisher]

& hi T. thanks for ur support. hope it's ok to simply mention that.

 

[Swisher]

Ahh I see I see. When I started writing that, I knew I was going to end it with "and a bunch of shit I won't mention", because yea I would go on and on and on.

What a shit story I'm leaving my name behind with haha

forgot to hit reply.
Just saying thanks to T.

But I'll bet you have some moments when you thought - I can't believed this happened to me - and could probably write a book about it.

Time for self pity....

 

[Ben]

forgot to hit reply.
Just saying thanks to T.

But I'll bet you have some moments when you thought - I can't believed this happened to me - and could probably write a book about it.

Time for self pity....

Oh yea I could write a book. I'd call it "Chicken Soup for the tortured soul" lol

I hate when I get a unsolicited invite to my own pity party. Nobody shows up and it's always fuckin carrot cake.

 

[Abel]

Hello, it's nice to meet you all. I'm a self-destructive person who has completely ruined their life over the years, so I'm sort of wandering around listlessly until I find the courage to end it.

 

[Ben]

Hello friend! Have you decided on a method yet?

 

[NOISYMIND]

What did you try? Is it okay to ask that? And how did you feel? Why did you fail? Are you from the US originally? Please share what you like...maybe message when you can, if you like. This is only my 3rd day here, btw

I am from Taiwan. I live in the country side by the sea. Tried drowning myself but people found me before I even sank my whole body into the sea. There's always people around fishing in the early morning. Thought about trying at a different time but the front door is noisy enough to wake my family up. Anyway I don't think it's a good idea gotta try other methods. :/

 

[Ben]

I am from Taiwan. I live in the country side by the sea. Tried drowning myself but people found me before I even sank my whole body into the sea. There's always people around fishing in the early morning. Thought about trying at a different time but the front door is noisy enough to wake my family up. Anyway I don't think it's a good idea gotta try other methods. :/

My brother, I could tell you what you want to hear if you truly want to die tonight. Drowning is not a good method. Even if you wanted to inflict mental pain on the people who found you, drowning is not the way to do it.

We are land creatures. The amount of simple things that can actually kill us is hilariously small. My opinion on death, is you won't fail if you really want it. I failed twice, and my subconscious efforts of self preservation are blatantly obvious.

I can, and will, provide you with copious amount of proof that there are complete strangers, myself included, that don't want to seee you die.

 

[NOISYMIND]

My brother, I could tell you what you want to hear if you truly want to die tonight. Drowning is not a good method. Even if you wanted to inflict mental pain on the people who found you, drowning is not the way to do it.

We are land creatures. The amount of simple things that can actually kill us is hilariously small. My opinion on death, is you won't fail if you really want it. I failed twice, and my subconscious efforts of self preservation are blatantly obvious.

I can, and will, provide you with copious amount of proof that there are complete strangers, myself included, that don't want to seee you die.

Thanks Ben.
Maybe deep down I don't really want to die but I don't see any other way out either. I have my letter ready so I just need to figure out what's best for me to go. I'll be hanging out here until then. :)

 

[Ben]

Thanks Ben.
Maybe deep down I don't really want to die but I don't see any other way out either. I have my letter ready so I just need to figure out what's best for me to go. I'll be hanging out here until then. :)

Bruh this is a strange and untouched land. People relating on wanting to commit suicide, but we are still unsure of trying to prevent that option should be seen as PRO LIFE DISRESPECTFUL BULLSHIT.

If you want to die, I support that. I want to die too, but that doesn't mean I don't give a fuck about the lives of users here.

If I see a opening for rehabiliton, I'm going to jump on it

FUCK PEOPLE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT LIFE BECAUSE THEY GAVE UP ON THEIR OWN.

Uhhh you do realize if everyone adpoted that mentally of "fuck it", life is pointless, we as humans would of never reached a point where you even hav the option to end your life.

I'm not going to be the guy who says fuck it, jump, they don't care. You gotta convince me your life is worthless before I agree you should off yourself

Maybe that's just my faith in humanity falling on deaf ears...I can't be the only one here who would LOVE to find an alternative to death.

 

[RM5998]

Bruh this is a strange and untouched land. People relating on wanting to commit suicide, but we are still unsure of trying to prevent that option should be seen as PRO LIFE DISRESPECTFUL BULLSHIT.

If you want to die, I support that. I want to die too, but that doesn't mean I don't give a fuck about the lives of users here.

If I see a opening for rehabiliton, I'm going to jump on it

FUCK PEOPLE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT LIFE BECAUSE THEY GAVE UP ON THEIR OWN.

Uhhh you do realize if everyone adpoted that mentally of "fuck it", life is pointless, we as humans would of never reached a point where you even hav the option to end your life.

I'm not going to be the guy who says fuck it, jump, they don't care. You gotta convince me your life is worthless before I agree you should off yourself

Maybe that's just my faith in humanity falling on deaf ears...I can't be the only one here who would LOVE to find an alternative to death.

Believing in the meaninglessness of the universe forces a dilemma onto people - whether to ignore the void, commit suicide or accept and laugh at the absurdity of the joke.

Most people go with option 1. While option 3 seems superior to option 2, in a meaningless universe they are exactly the same - the 3rd is just easier for some, since it lines up with survival instinct. For some of the people here, the pain of the void is conceptually more than the pain of dying - they're just looking to minimize their immediate pain by sharing it here and trying to find methods and a community.

You seem to believe in life having inherent value. Do you mind explaining your reasoning behind that?

 

[Ben]

Believing in the meaninglessness of the universe forces a dilemma onto people - whether to ignore the void, commit suicide or accept and laugh at the absurdity of the joke.

Most people go with option 1. While option 3 seems superior to option 2, in a meaningless universe they are exactly the same - the 3rd is just easier for some, since it lines up with survival instinct. For some of the people here, the pain of the void is conceptually more than the pain of dying - they're just looking to minimize their immediate pain by sharing it here and trying to find methods and a community.

You seem to believe in life having inherent value. Do you mind explaining your reasoning behind that?

I have no problem backing that up. Think back to your earliest memories...did you want to kill yourself when you got your favourite toy on your birthday?

The want to die is not a natural inheritance we are forced to expose to our offspring. If that was the case, Humas wouldn't be at the top of the food chain.

I fuckinf refuse to believe life is inherently pointless. What is stopping you from becoming a mass murderer if you think all you're doing is a kindness

To deny the fact life has value discredits the very reason to even post here. You wanna die? Go die. There is not requirement that makes you justify your death to other people.

Do I think life gives equal opportunities at success? Hell fucking no, some people just get the short stick...

But in my last few days on earth, I don't want to leave a legacy that encourages other people to end their lives. You know what? If I can change YOUR MIND with MY WORDS... sorry, but you weren't serious.

If I had no faith in life belong to a beneficial outcome to ANYBODY? I would become a mass murderer and expect nothing but thank you's from the people I spared.

 

[RM5998]

I have no problem backing that up. Think back to your earliest memories...did you want to kill yourself when you got your favourite toy on your birthday?

The want to die is not a natural inheritance we are forced to expose to our offspring. If that was the case, Humas wouldn't be at the top of the food chain.

I fuckinf refuse to believe life is inherently pointless. What is stopping you from becoming a mass murderer if you think all you're doing is a kindness

To deny the fact life has value discredits the very reason to even post here. You wanna die? Go die. There is not requirement that makes you justify your death to other people.

Do I think life gives equal opportunities at success? Hell fucking no, some people just get the short stick...

But in my last few days on earth, I don't want to leave a legacy that encourages other people to end their lives. You know what? If I can change YOUR MIND with MY WORDS... sorry, but you weren't serious.

If I had no faith in life belong to a beneficial outcome to ANYBODY? I would become a mass murderer and expect nothing but thank you's from the people I spared.

I wasn't referring to whether we value life, but to whether this valuation actually holds water.

In my opinion, the attraction towards life is purely a manifestation of survival instinct. Most nihilistic theories don't say that you should die, but rather that living and dying are both equal and equally empty and meaningless. Yes, there are people who can feel happiness, and connect with other people. There are some of us here who cannot fit into that group, and chase death. Nihilistic thought would consider that both are equivalent, because in the end, none of us matter. The ones who live do so because they choose to, and the ones who die do so because they choose to, and the nature of the living organism makes one group larger than the other, but fundamentally both groups are just divided by circumstance.

The slippery slope between nihilism and psychopathy does not exist - believing that life has no inherent value doesn't mean that you get to dispense with it as you wish, since your own life and thoughts are equally meaningless. Thus, the only value that thoughts can have is inside your own mind, as a construct, and nowhere else.

To return to my question - do you think there's an inherent value in life, or do you simply subscribe to non-interference?

 

[Ben]

I wasn't referring to whether we value life, but to whether this valuation actually holds water.

In my opinion, the attraction towards life is purely a manifestation of survival instinct. Most nihilistic theories don't say that you should die, but rather that living and dying are both equal and equally empty and meaningless. Yes, there are people who can feel happiness, and connect with other people. There are some of us here who cannot fit into that group, and chase death. Nihilistic thought would consider that both are equivalent, because in the end, none of us matter. The ones who live do so because they choose to, and the ones who die do so because they choose to, and the nature of the living organism makes one group larger than the other, but fundamentally both groups are just divided by circumstance.

The slippery slope between nihilism and psychopathy does not exist - believing that life has no inherent value doesn't mean that you get to dispense with it as you wish, since your own life and thoughts are equally meaningless. Thus, the only value that thoughts can have is inside your own mind, as a construct, and nowhere else.

To return to my question - do you think there's an inherent value in life, or do you simply subscribe to non-interference?

I stick to my guns and believe there is a inherit value in life. There is no room for debate when discussing the effects of ones life has on their outcome. We are all humans,
we have spikes of what we think of right.

I refuse to value one life over another, based on their contribution to society. If I want to stay true to my opinion, I have to believe that for every person that wants to kill themselves, there is a person who wants humans to thrive. This battle has clearly been won by the humans who see a purpose in surviving.

If we're dabbling around the meaning of life, which I think we are, I have to take the side of the living. I want to die, I'm going to die, but could you honestly say you want EVERY person on earth to die with you?

There are only two responses to that question

One: yea you think life is pointless and everyone might as well off themselves because in the bigger picture, it won't matter...

Two: you have the balls to accept that humans are the rightful owners to this world, and another denial of that is pure species denial.

Look at an ant colony, their lives as individuals DONT MEAN SHIT. They understand that theu their power comes in numbers. Ants couldn't care less about contributing their body to ensure the survival of the community

Humans are no different. We've been so massively bred, that it's only natural that some of us have to die. Our intelligence is our greates weapon, and our biggest failure. To even be able to accept that us and a individual has no benefit to the species...makes evolution laugh at us.

We have every capability to CONQUER this planet, yet some of our species can't even get past the urge to kill ours elves. That comes from domination of a planet, over population. We've hit a point is this planets life cycle, that it's become inefficient for us to reproduce.

This is not something that happens a naturally in another other species besides humans.

The very fact we are capable of taking our own lives if we choose, is testimant to how over whelming successful of species we have become.

I'm no scientist but I'm pretty sure any species that had a serious self inhalation issue would fail to become the dominant life form on the planet.

I value us a humans beyond gold and diamonds... we started an inevitable chain reaction of self inhalation as soon as we illuminated our last acual predators.

Humans win every battle against every other living thing that has been on earth, and that in itself is a testimate to how much value a human life holds.

 

[RM5998]

I stick to my guns and believe there is a inherit value in life. There is no room for debate when discussing the effects of ones life has on their outcome. We are all humans,
we have spikes of what we think of right.

I refuse to value one life over another, based on their contribution to society. If I want to stay true to my opinion, I have to believe that for every person that wants to kill themselves, there is a person who wants humans to thrive. This battle has clearly been won by the humans who see a purpose in surviving.

If we're dabbling around the meaning of life, which I think we are, I have to take the side of the living. I want to die, I'm going to die, but could you honestly say you want EVERY person on earth to die with you?

There are only two responses to that question

One: yea you think life is pointless and everyone might as well off themselves because in the bigger picture, it won't matter...

Two: you have the balls to accept that humans are the rightful owners to this world, and another denial of that is pure species denial.

Look at an ant colony, their lives as individuals DONT MEAN SHIT. They understand that theu their power comes in numbers. Ants couldn't care less about contributing their body to ensure the survival of the community

Humans are no different. We've been so massively bred, that it's only natural that some of us have to die. Our intelligence is our greates weapon, and our biggest failure. To even be able to accept that us and a individual has no benefit to the species...makes evolution laugh at us.

We have every capability to CONQUER this planet, yet some of our species can't even get past the urge to kill ours elves. That comes from domination of a planet, over population. We've hit a point is this planets life cycle, that it's become inefficient for us to reproduce.

This is not something that happens a naturally in another other species besides humans.

The very fact we are capable of taking our own lives if we choose, is testimant to how over whelming successful of species we have become.

I'm no scientist but I'm pretty sure any species that had a serious self inhalation issue would fail to become the dominant life form on the planet.

I value us a humans beyond gold and diamonds... we started an inevitable chain reaction of self inhalation as soon as we illuminated our last acual predators.

Humans win every battle against every other living thing that has been on earth, and that in itself is a testimate to how much value a human life holds.

The point of nihilism isn't to say that we should all die, but that living and dying are both meaningless. People can construct value systems to be able to make themselves happy, but that doesn't change the nature of the behavior - it's being motivated by survival instinct. There's no doubt that a lot of people are there in this world, and that many of them are happy, but that isn't the point of nihilism. Nihilism instead states that there is no inherent value in anything in the universe. Thus, value is a construct maintained by each individual, and societies are formed when the same values are shared between multiple individuals. Thus, neither the people who choose to live nor those who choose to die are inherently right - they are merely making choices according to their own value system.

You seem to not share this idea of value being determined by people as individuals. Let's agree to disagree on that issue.

Sorry for the tangent, just go past these if you find them boring and pointless.

 

[Ben]

The point of nihilism isn't to say that we should all die, but that living and dying are both meaningless. People can construct value systems to be able to make themselves happy, but that doesn't change the nature of the behavior - it's being motivated by survival instinct. There's no doubt that a lot of people are there in this world, and that many of them are happy, but that isn't the point of nihilism. Nihilism instead states that there is no inherent value in anything in the universe. Thus, value is a construct maintained by each individual, and societies are formed when the same values are shared between multiple individuals. Thus, neither the people who choose to live nor those who choose to die are inherently right - they are merely making choices according to their own value system.

You seem to not share this idea of value being determined by people as individuals. Let's agree to disagree on that issue.

Oh absolutely we can agree to disagree, I do not consider myself a nihilism practicer at all. While I will never deny a human their right to end their own life, the only thing that kept me from offing myself the very moment I learned suicide is a thing, is the faith in other humans to better carry on a legacy I am not fit to withhold.

Deconstructing a individuals opinion automatically leaves holes in any argument you make against the value it has.

If you have no faith in human life, then I salute the confirmation you will experience when you finally end it. When I end my life, I will not be able to convince myself that my method of dealing with life is an acceptable one.

I accept my role as a stain on humanity, I cannot offer anything to anybody that will result in positive outcomes....

But like I said, if everyone in the world thought like I did, I would literally, honestly, kill people I thought needed the same solution I need, death.

 

[NOISYMIND]

Bruh this is a strange and untouched land. People relating on wanting to commit suicide, but we are still unsure of trying to prevent that option should be seen as PRO LIFE DISRESPECTFUL BULLSHIT.

If you want to die, I support that. I want to die too, but that doesn't mean I don't give a fuck about the lives of users here.

If I see a opening for rehabiliton, I'm going to jump on it

FUCK PEOPLE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT LIFE BECAUSE THEY GAVE UP ON THEIR OWN.

Uhhh you do realize if everyone adpoted that mentally of "fuck it", life is pointless, we as humans would of never reached a point where you even hav the option to end your life.

I'm not going to be the guy who says fuck it, jump, they don't care. You gotta convince me your life is worthless before I agree you should off yourself

Maybe that's just my faith in humanity falling on deaf ears...I can't be the only one here who would LOVE to find an alternative to death.

I believe there are positives and alternatives but the truth is - life isn't quite fair.

When you dream big but don't have a healthy body, a relatively good environment, enough substantial and financial resources, strong personal background and experience, support from your family and friends... not to mention my loveless childhood and teenage years, and the mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD) I've been suffering from for years.

A messed up childhood does affect me a lot. It's really not easy to see the light in my position. You can't choose where you come from, can't go back in time to fix your shit; You try to live in the present but got stuck in a certain situation and surely you won't get out very soon; You try to move on towards to the future but the uncertainty of it drags you back and you can't stop constantly worrying about things.

And you blame yourself for all this.

After you analyse everything you come to the conclusion - death is the immediate solution to ease the pain.

If everything is out of control but death, why shouldn't I go for it? Not saying that I have to go but it's the only thing I get to control now.

You might not agree but here's just my theory.

 

[Ben]

I believe there are positives and alternatives but the truth is - life isn't quite fair.

When you dream big but don't have a healthy body, a relatively good environment, enough substantial and financial resources, strong personal background and experience, support from your family and friends... not to mention my loveless childhood and teenage years, and the mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD) I've been suffering from for years.

A messed up childhood does affect me a lot. It's really not easy to see the light in my position. You can't choose where you come from, can't go back in time to fix your shit; You try to live in the present but got stuck in a certain situation and surely you won't get out very soon; You try to move on towards to the future but the uncertainty of it drags you back and you can't stop constantly worrying about things.

And you blame yourself for all this.

After you analyse everything you come to the conclusion - death is the immediate solution to ease the pain.

If everything is out of control but death, why shouldn't I go for it? Not saying that I have to go but it's the only thing I get to control now.

You might not agree but here's just my theory.

I agree totally with what you're saying. Life is not fair. Because it's not fair, it means there are people it works out for, and people get fucked over. I'm not saying you have to accept that life fucked you over. I was only trying to point out, that life is great for some people. So while me and you don't see it's value, others do, and neither one of us is right or wrong. I always try to see things from both sides of the coin, regardless of which side I'm on. If a child asked me, "is life good" I would lie, and say yes, regardless of how shitty life treats me. I back up my opinions, but it's almost like I disagree with them. I don't want to everyone to die, because they could be happy, but I want to die because I'm not. It's hard to hold onto my morals when I'm preparing to CTB, because why should I care. For whatever reason, I do want people to be happy, and I do believe it's possible...just not for all of us.

 

[GloomySunday79]

Hey all.

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

So please post your introductions here. We will remove any welcome thread going forward from this date and redirect users to welcome themselves here or merge their thread into this one.

If you spot a welcome thread, please report it, you won't get in trouble... we just want less clutter. Thank you!

With that, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Rules: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/rules-and-faq.4
Resource sticky: https://www.sanctionedsuicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/

 

[GloomySunday79]

Hello, I am 38 years old. I have suffered from major depression for 10 years. I have tried therapy and every antidepressant I can think of with no relief. I have no one but my pets and it's the only reason I haven't done it yet.

 

[DarkTear]

Hi,

it's been a while since I created my account. I've been a quiet reader for a while. Therefore I know many of you very well already, I really like this community. Thanks for all the useful resources and discussions. The 'atmosphere' is nice over here.

What can I tell about me... well, there would be much to write, lots of shit happened in my life so far. I'm 26 years old and I'm from Germany.
I suffer from mental illnesses since my youth (the most severe ones are bipolar as well as anxiety disorders), which have destroyed so much of my life. I just don't fit in this world. My condition worsened and is very bad since April this year.
I'm feeling 'empty' at the moment, tired and I've lost all interests in my hobbies (well, basically just computer stuff and playing video games, I'm leaving the house only when necessary since I don't like life out there and social interaction scares me).
I've no date for CTB - when the time is right, I'll leave.

Currently, I'm preparing both the Nitrogen Exit-Bag Method as well as CO-Poisoning. I don't know which one I'll pick to end my life, but it's a good feeling to be prepared and ready for it. I also considered ordering SN (as combination with Nitrogen/CO) or N, but customs are very strict over here, so I have my doubts that I would receive it.

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading...

 

[GloomySunday79]

Did I not introduce myself in the right place?

 

[Ben]

Hello, I am 38 years old. I have suffered from major depression for 10 years. I have tried therapy and every antidepressant I can think of with no relief. I have no one but my pets and it's the only reason I haven't done it yet.

Welcome gloomy! What pets do you have?

 

[Ben]

Hi,

it's been a while since I created my account. I've been a quiet reader for a while. Therefore I know many of you very well already, I really like this community. Thanks for all the useful resources and discussions. The 'atmosphere' is nice over here.

What can I tell about me... well, there would be much to write, lots of shit happened in my life so far. I'm 26 years old and I'm from Germany.
I suffer from mental illnesses since my youth (the most severe ones are bipolar as well as anxiety disorders), which have destroyed so much of my life. I just don't fit in this world. My condition worsened and is very bad since April this year.
I'm feeling 'empty' at the moment, tired and I've lost all interests in my hobbies (well, basically just computer stuff and playing video games, I'm leaving the house only when necessary since I don't like life out there and social interaction scares me).
I've no date for CTB - when the time is right, I'll leave.

Currently, I'm preparing both the Nitrogen Exit-Bag Method as well as CO-Poisoning. I don't know which one I'll pick to end my life, but it's a good feeling to be prepared and ready for it. I also considered ordering SN (as combination with Nitrogen/CO) or N, but customs are very strict over here, so I have my doubts that I would receive it.

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading...

Hey friend! We may not fit in the world, but you sure fit in here! I feel you on social interactions. I've had none irl in 6 months!

 

[Ben]

Did I not introduce myself in the right place?

You did! The off topics section is less active then the main board, so it may take a little bit to get a reply, but I guarantee I'm not the only user that checks this thread once in awhile.