Story Introducing myself

[UnluckyYogi]

Here's another very beautiful message on what happens to souls from suicides.

Thank you!

Dolores Cannon says there's no hell.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

You said above that your kundalini experience got you psychotic. How, specifically?

Were you catatonic for periods of time? Did you experience extreme sensations of hot or cold or pain? Were you roaring or hissing or otherwise making weird sounds? Please describe your actions that made your family call the cops on you and the doctors inject you with antipsychotic drugs.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

You said above that your kundalini experience got you psychotic. How, specifically?

Were you catatonic for periods of time? Did you experience extreme sensations of hot or cold or pain? Were you roaring or hissing or otherwise making weird sounds? Please describe your actions that made your family call the cops on you and the doctors inject you with antipsychotic drugs.

I went missing from home and didn't want to return, I had too much fun in nature with my tent and sleeping bag.
I experienced bliss beyond words and paranormal abilities as well.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

But those actions alone shouldn't have merited intervention from the police or the doctors. Why would they commit you into a psychiatric facility if those were the only things you were engaged in during your kundalini experience? Were you under 18 yo when these things started happening?

 

[UnluckyYogi]

But those actions alone shouldn't have merited intervention from the police or the doctors. Why would they commit you into a psychiatric facility if those were the only things you were engaged in during your kundalini experience? Were you under 18 yo when these things started happening?

My first kundalini experience was at the age of 24, didn't result in hospitalization.
The second kundalini experience was at the woods before the age of 26.
I went missing and they published articles about me (I managed to remove most of them) and searching for me.
One of the police officers that was in charge of the case probably decided to get me checked in a mental facility, and I made a huge mistake trying to explain them some of the things I experienced.
That hospitalization ended with received a few pills and I was sent home, no injections. I recovered from the pills pretty quickly and almost no damage, if at all.
The third kundalini experience was about 8 months from the second one, during January 2022, this is when my life went downhill.
During this third kundalini experience, I went missing from home again, and for some reason was paranoid and afraid to go back.
I was outside for a few days and finally the police caught me, but out foolishness, I asked them to take me to the mental hospital because I thought I'll be safer there (To this day idk why I requested this, they wanted to take me home).
This hospitalization is when they put me on Xeplion injections and my life was ruined until this day.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

I see.

What's the official diagnosis from the doctors? Did they diagnose you as schizophrenic? I read that some researchers believe that up to 20% of patients admitted in mental facilities for schizophrenia exhibit kundalini experiencer behaviors.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

I see.

What's the official diagnosis from the doctors? Did they diagnose you as schizophrenic? I read that some researchers believe that up to 20% of patients admitted in mental facilities for schizophrenia exhibit kundalini experiencer behaviors.

Some cases of hospitalization in mental hospitals are indeed from kundalini awakening.

Yes, after my third kundalini experience, they diagnosed me with schizophrenia, which I don't have.
I'm not hearing voices or hallucinating, nothing of that nature.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

Are you now unable to practice kundalini again? Did they turn your brain to soup enough that you can no longer access that higher level of consciousness? That'd be so unfortunate.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Are you now unable to practice kundalini again? Did they turn your brain to soup enough that you can no longer access that higher level of consciousness? That'd be so unfortunate.

That's exactly what I was afraid of after Xeplion, but I recovered quite a lot, if I would guess in percentages, it was 80-85% recovery. I was able to activate kundalini again after Xeplion, and this was my last kundalini experience (Forth one).
Now after Clopixol, I might be able to try again, but I'll be extra careful this time.

 

[Labyrinth]

You are an angel, your way of writing is so delicate. His suicide is justifiable, reasonable. I would like you to live with purpose and joy but if you prefer to die, please don't blame yourself. With all the love I have to offer, thank you for sharing your story.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

You are an angel, your way of writing is so delicate. His suicide is justifiable, reasonable. I would like you to live with purpose and joy but if you prefer to die, please don't blame yourself. With all the love I have to offer, thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for your kind words.
I will do everything in my power to fully heal from this brain damage and live my life to the fullest.
If I fully heal, it will be almost like resurrection for me.

 

[JezebelDuLioncourt]

That's exactly what I was afraid of after Xeplion, but I recovered quite a lot, if I would guess in percentages, it was 80-85% recovery. I was able to activate kundalini again after Xeplion, and this was my last kundalini experience (Forth one).
Now after Clopixol, I might be able to try again, but I'll be extra careful this time.

By your own admission, your kundalini practice led to some form of psychotic behaviors. But would you also say that it led to some form of enlightenment? That feeling of Oneness in the universe that many NDErs have tried to describe? I'd guess that, in your case, the positive effects outweigh the negative effects, and that's why you plan to induce another kundalini awakening.

What would you say induced the negative effects?

 

[UnluckyYogi]

By your own admission, your kundalini practice led to some form of psychotic behaviors. But would you also say that it led to some form of enlightenment? That feeling of Oneness in the universe that many NDErs have tried to describe? I'd guess that, in your case, the positive effects outweigh the negative effects, and that's why you plan to induce another kundalini awakening.

What would you say induced the negative effects?

It was a very powerful experience to say the least.
I would definitely try it again, even after getting brain damage as an indirect result of this practice. This is how much this experience is dear to my heart.

What induced the psychotic behavior was becoming paranoid or having anxiety attack after I felt an evil presence following and chasing after me, I wasn't sure what he was capable of.
Later I saw his/her soul infront of me during my third kundalini, I wasn't afraid at that point (seeing it) for some unknown reason.

It prooved to me that what I felt was actually there, and like I said, its presence felt malevolent.
I was running away from it all day and night, it was scary.

Only during kundalini I can feel the presence of different entities and gain access to paranormal abilities. And no, it's not to be mistaken with hallucinations.

I can't wait to experience it again for the fifth time, and this time I'm ready.

 

[Apathy79]

Sounds demonic to me. That was one of the warnings about forcing the energy. Hopefully a projection of your subconscious, as it fits the M.O of the dream terror energised by that state, and not an astral entity with that energy. If the latter is true, I really hope you know what you're doing.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Sounds demonic to me. That was one of the warnings about forcing the energy. Hopefully a projection of your subconscious, as it fits the M.O of the dream terror energised by that state, and not an astral entity with that energy. If the latter is true, I really hope you know what you're doing.

I have no idea who was that entity, probably a dead person from my area, if I had to guess ofc.
Like I said, it felt malevolent, very malevolent.

 

[stolensoul]

Hello everyone,
I would like to introduce myself here.
Up until recently, I lived my life very happily, it wasn't perfect by any means, I had my ups and downs like most people, but it was very fullfilling nevertheless.
In January 2022, my life was basically over.
I got hospitalized in a psych ward after going missing from home, which resulted in my family calling the cops on me, and they took me to a mental institution.
It all started after I discovered kundalini awakening, and I did a certain practice that got it awakened, and if you search online "kundalini psychosis" or similar terms, you'll find information about it. It is very real.

Anyway, I did this practice 4 times in my life, which caused me to get hospitalized 3 times.
Why did I try kundalini again and again if it resulted in me getting hospitalized you asking? - Simply because I was very curious, it was a blissful state of being and I believed that I won't get hospitalized again.
I won't get into farther details about what I experienced and what I've seen during the kundalini state because some of you might find it hard to believe, and it's fine.

Like I said, I was hospitalized 3 times because of kundalini awakening, but also another time (Last hospitalization) for not being able to sleep at all for 6 nights in a row.

At my first hospitalization, they gave me some antipsychotics in the form of pills, first one was Abilify, which caused me a severe restlessness, and later on they switched me into Zyprexa, which didn't cause restlessness, but I gained so much weight because of it.
Later on, after being released from the mental hospital, I recovered pretty quickly from all side effects and it didn't affect me later on, I continued with my life normally.

I couldn't help but try kundalini awakening once again, and after 2 days on it, I went missing again and it caused me to become paranoid of almost everything, and guess what? my family called the cops on me again, which got me hospitalized for the second time in January 2022, and this is where I begin my story (Remember I said my life was over at January 2022? this is why).

During my second hospitalization, I received Risperdal pills, didn't really take them, but later on, a psychiatrist told me, that they put me on something called "community treatment order", which is where you must show up regularly, once a month at the hospital, to receive antipsychotics in form of injections.
He also said that, if I want to be released, I must accept taking 2 loading doses of a very harmful drug (Didn't know it was very harmful back then) called Xeplion.
I agreed, because I thought that it won't affect me that much. I was horribly wrong.

This is where my life went downhill ever since.
Unwillingly, I had to receive more injections every month, up until July 2022, where I received my last injection because the psychiatrist was kind enough to switch me into Amisulpride pills instead, which I didn't take obviously, I had to lie to him every appointment, over and over again that I'm taking my pills (He has absolutely no way to tell) and this is how I became med free.

Now let's talk about the side effects and brain damage I got from this awful drug (Xeplion).
I lost the ability to enjoy things, lost feelings of pleasure, my concentration got very bad to the point that when I watch YouTube videos, I lose focus within seconds and can't absorb any information properly, lost my sexual function and desire completely, I hardly produced any sperm, lost my appetite almost completely, I was very restless and it was painful sitting still, my sleep quality and duration declined drastically, I lost motivation and drive, couldn't listen to music, no inspiration or sensations from being in nature or listening to music, I had almost no thoughts in my head, no imagination, lost passion and patience for my hobbies and more issues.

After being medications free on July 2022, I slowly got better and I eventually recovered enough, to the point that my life was worth living again, but it still wasn't like before, and things like joy or desire never came back, even after 14 months without Xeplion.

I got hospitalized on August 2023 again after practicing kundalini once again, which caused me very similar things like last time. I went missing from home and they called the cops on me, but this time I was lucky, because out of stupidity, I asked to get back to the hospital for some reason, and because it was voluntary, they didn't force any injections on me, they just gave me Amisulpride pill once and I got released.

Last hospitalization, happened on September 2023, shortly after the previous one, because for some reason, I couldn't fall asleep for 6 nights in a row.
I got psychotic and started to hallucinate (First time in my life I started hallucinating).
I don't know, to this day, why I couldn't fall asleep all of a sudden.
On the first night that I couldn't fall asleep, I got a severe headache, like a sharp kind of pain in my brain, and I blame the injections for it.

Anyways, I was hospitalized again and this time, they forced injections on me again, this time it was a drug called Clopixol.
Horrible drug which caused me similar effects and damage like Xeplion.

I was on it since September 2023, all the way up to April 2024, and my psychiatrist agreed again to put me on the same Amisulpride pills instead.

And here I am today, free of injections and meds, but the damage remains and there's no chance of recovering fully from so many injections.
I will never be the same and it made me suicidal, not because of depression, I don't have depression, but because of the thoughts that I won't be my healthy self like before and everything is different.
It's not depressing, but frustrating.

This is a story that reflects how harmful and poisonous these drugs are.
I know a friend that committed suicide because of the injections she received.

Life isn't easy for me these days, living empty life without joy, desire, motivation and so many more things that are missing from it.
It's like eating a cold meal without condiments or spices in it instead of a warm, tasty meal. That's my analogy.

I wish no one to be on these harmful drugs, I have so much anger towards psychiatry, but there's nothing I can do to change things unfortunately.

Take care everyone.

Hey UnluckyYogi. I've also been injected with Xeplion multiple times a few months ago, and I'm a lifeless husk. Can't bear living any more like this. But it's hard to actually have the courage to ctb. The feeling of brain damage and having no emotions, anhedonia, is killing me and driving me crazy.
Do you think it's possible to heal from this damage?

 

[yoshizoom]

Hello everyone,
I would like to introduce myself here.
Up until recently, I lived my life very happily, it wasn't perfect by any means, I had my ups and downs like most people, but it was very fullfilling nevertheless.
In January 2022, my life was basically over.
I got hospitalized in a psych ward after going missing from home, which resulted in my family calling the cops on me, and they took me to a mental institution.
It all started after I discovered kundalini awakening, and I did a certain practice that got it awakened, and if you search online "kundalini psychosis" or similar terms, you'll find information about it. It is very real.

Anyway, I did this practice 4 times in my life, which caused me to get hospitalized 3 times.
Why did I try kundalini again and again if it resulted in me getting hospitalized you asking? - Simply because I was very curious, it was a blissful state of being and I believed that I won't get hospitalized again.
I won't get into farther details about what I experienced and what I've seen during the kundalini state because some of you might find it hard to believe, and it's fine.

Like I said, I was hospitalized 3 times because of kundalini awakening, but also another time (Last hospitalization) for not being able to sleep at all for 6 nights in a row.

At my first hospitalization, they gave me some antipsychotics in the form of pills, first one was Abilify, which caused me a severe restlessness, and later on they switched me into Zyprexa, which didn't cause restlessness, but I gained so much weight because of it.
Later on, after being released from the mental hospital, I recovered pretty quickly from all side effects and it didn't affect me later on, I continued with my life normally.

I couldn't help but try kundalini awakening once again, and after 2 days on it, I went missing again and it caused me to become paranoid of almost everything, and guess what? my family called the cops on me again, which got me hospitalized for the second time in January 2022, and this is where I begin my story (Remember I said my life was over at January 2022? this is why).

During my second hospitalization, I received Risperdal pills, didn't really take them, but later on, a psychiatrist told me, that they put me on something called "community treatment order", which is where you must show up regularly, once a month at the hospital, to receive antipsychotics in form of injections.
He also said that, if I want to be released, I must accept taking 2 loading doses of a very harmful drug (Didn't know it was very harmful back then) called Xeplion.
I agreed, because I thought that it won't affect me that much. I was horribly wrong.

This is where my life went downhill ever since.
Unwillingly, I had to receive more injections every month, up until July 2022, where I received my last injection because the psychiatrist was kind enough to switch me into Amisulpride pills instead, which I didn't take obviously, I had to lie to him every appointment, over and over again that I'm taking my pills (He has absolutely no way to tell) and this is how I became med free.

Now let's talk about the side effects and brain damage I got from this awful drug (Xeplion).
I lost the ability to enjoy things, lost feelings of pleasure, my concentration got very bad to the point that when I watch YouTube videos, I lose focus within seconds and can't absorb any information properly, lost my sexual function and desire completely, I hardly produced any sperm, lost my appetite almost completely, I was very restless and it was painful sitting still, my sleep quality and duration declined drastically, I lost motivation and drive, couldn't listen to music, no inspiration or sensations from being in nature or listening to music, I had almost no thoughts in my head, no imagination, lost passion and patience for my hobbies and more issues.

After being medications free on July 2022, I slowly got better and I eventually recovered enough, to the point that my life was worth living again, but it still wasn't like before, and things like joy or desire never came back, even after 14 months without Xeplion.

I got hospitalized on August 2023 again after practicing kundalini once again, which caused me very similar things like last time. I went missing from home and they called the cops on me, but this time I was lucky, because out of stupidity, I asked to get back to the hospital for some reason, and because it was voluntary, they didn't force any injections on me, they just gave me Amisulpride pill once and I got released.

Last hospitalization, happened on September 2023, shortly after the previous one, because for some reason, I couldn't fall asleep for 6 nights in a row.
I got psychotic and started to hallucinate (First time in my life I started hallucinating).
I don't know, to this day, why I couldn't fall asleep all of a sudden.
On the first night that I couldn't fall asleep, I got a severe headache, like a sharp kind of pain in my brain, and I blame the injections for it.

Anyways, I was hospitalized again and this time, they forced injections on me again, this time it was a drug called Clopixol.
Horrible drug which caused me similar effects and damage like Xeplion.

I was on it since September 2023, all the way up to April 2024, and my psychiatrist agreed again to put me on the same Amisulpride pills instead.

And here I am today, free of injections and meds, but the damage remains and there's no chance of recovering fully from so many injections.
I will never be the same and it made me suicidal, not because of depression, I don't have depression, but because of the thoughts that I won't be my healthy self like before and everything is different.
It's not depressing, but frustrating.

This is a story that reflects how harmful and poisonous these drugs are.
I know a friend that committed suicide because of the injections she received.

Life isn't easy for me these days, living empty life without joy, desire, motivation and so many more things that are missing from it.
It's like eating a cold meal without condiments or spices in it instead of a warm, tasty meal. That's my analogy.

I wish no one to be on these harmful drugs, I have so much anger towards psychiatry, but there's nothing I can do to change things unfortunately.

Take care everyone.

Hello. I'm very sorry you are going through this, as I'm going through the same thing as you are except it was LSD that messed me up. I'm still suffering the consequences of it even after two years later. Idk if it's personal to ask, but did u see a neurologist and take tests to see if you had brain damage? Because I have, yet everyone of those test came out positive with nothing wrong. I know it damaged my body and mind, and everyday is a fight. I should've been dead a long time ago. I'm willing to discuss my story with you if you'd like.

Anyone here who can relate? or someone with a similar story or situation?

 

[stolensoul]

Hello. I'm very sorry you are going through this, as I'm going through the same thing as you are except it was LSD that messed me up. I'm still suffering the consequences of it even after two years later. Idk if it's personal to ask, but did u see a neurologist and take tests to see if you had brain damage? Because I have, yet everyone of those test came out positive with nothing wrong. I know it damaged my body and mind, and everyday is a fight. I should've been dead a long time ago. I'm willing to discuss my story with you if you'd like.

You're sure it was lsd? How did it mess you up?

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Hey UnluckyYogi. I've also been injected with Xeplion multiple times a few months ago, and I'm a lifeless husk. Can't bear living any more like this. But it's hard to actually have the courage to ctb. The feeling of brain damage and having no emotions, anhedonia, is killing me and driving me crazy.
Do you think it's possible to heal from this damage?

I healed quite a lot from this damage last year after receiving 8 Xeplion shots.
It took me about 7-8 months to see significant improvements.
Please wait.

 

[stolensoul]

I healed quite a lot from this damage last year after receiving 8 Xeplion shots.
It took me about 7-8 months to see significant improvements.
Please wait.

Okay. I'm trying to be patient but it's truly awful. If I still feel the same after 2 years I will definitely ctb. Hoping for some improvement in 4-6 months time.
Thanks for the response

I healed quite a lot from this damage last year after receiving 8 Xeplion shots.
It took me about 7-8 months to see significant improvements.
Please wait.

I've read quite a lot on Reddit about recovery from Xeplion/invega injections. Seems like it is possible, but I really just want my old self back.
You said you couldn't feel joy even after 14 months off, what improved for you? Could you laugh again and feel the effects of substances? Currently I don't even get a rush from smoking a cigarette anymore. Will try smoking weed again in a few months time to see if it has any effect.

 

[kinderbueno]

Hi, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide :)
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that awful treament :( I can't imagine your pain. I'm just curious, what is a kundalini awakening? I tried googling it but I didn't really understand

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Hi, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide :)
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that awful treament :( I can't imagine your pain. I'm just curious, what is a kundalini awakening? I tried googling it but I didn't really understand

Kundalini is a feminine energy that sits dormant at the base of the spine.
Through certain practice, or semen retention in my unique case, one is able to awaken it, and it raises up all the way to the brain while activating the chakras one by one.

 

[stolensoul]

Anyone here who can relate? or someone with a similar story or situation?

I've read quite a lot on Reddit about recovery from Xeplion/invega injections. Seems like it is possible, but I really just want my old self back.
You said you couldn't feel joy even after 14 months off, what improved for you? Could you laugh again and feel the effects of substances? Currently I don't even get a rush from smoking a cigarette anymore. Will try smoking weed again in a few months time to see if it has any effect.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

I've read quite a lot on Reddit about recovery from Xeplion/invega injections. Seems like it is possible, but I really just want my old self back.
You said you couldn't feel joy even after 14 months off, what improved for you? Could you laugh again and feel the effects of substances? Currently I don't even get a rush from smoking a cigarette anymore. Will try smoking weed again in a few months time to see if it has any effect.

Most things came back, although not exactly as before.
I could cry again, laugh again from silly things, my waste elimination aka pooping was back to normal, my appetite came back almost like before, I could get high on weed again and more things, but no joy or desire for hobbies at all... I remained bored basically.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Do you think / would you say that kundalini can activate self-healing powers?

Sorry if this may sound weird, but this question just came to my mind.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Do you think / would you say that kundalini can activate self-healing powers? Sorry if this may sound weird, but this question just came to my mind.

I do believe it's possible, considering bizarre things that happened to me that shouldn't happen.
I can give a few examples.
During that kundalini state last year, I was on the bus, holding a new water bottle I bought at the port, and while standing in front of the bus's back door, all of a sudden, the lid of the bottle flew up and away from the bottle, basically opened itself.

During my third kundalini experience, I went upstairs to my house's door, and the door lock opened abruptly by itself, nobody was present from the inside to do that for me.

I saw the soul of the entity that was chasing after me during my third kundalini.

I was able to move a bush while I was camping during my second kundalini, it was dancing violently and I manifested an object out of thin air using visualization.

Many many bizarre events that prooved me that everything is possible during that state.

I'm giving kundalini a fifth trial, in order to try and heal myself fully from my brain damage. I hope it works.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm giving kundalini a fifth trial, in order to try and heal myself fully from my brain damage. I hope it works.

I hope it works for you and you will be able to report about your experiences here.

Good luck!

 

[UnluckyYogi]

I hope it works for you and you will be able to report about your experiences here.

Good luck!

Thank you!
And thanks for not ridiculing me because of my experiences.
Some people would brush it off, and say it was an illusion or hallucination.

That lid/cap actually flew off from that water bottle while spinning, and I had to pick it up, it wasn't sparkling water, just plain flavored water. No hallucination here

I truly believe it's possible to heal during that state. This is how an individual can connect with the creator.

 

[yoshizoom]

You're sure it was lsd? How did it mess you up?

You're sure it was lsd? How did it mess you up?

it was an lsd gel tab. Long story short I wasn't able to sleep over a month and felt physically ill and had to be sent to a mental hospital because of it. I was able to work and all that afterwards but felt pieces of me that never came back. Suddenly all those symptoms came back in the beginning of 2023 and never have been able to get out of it. Headaches, sexual dysfunction, overheating etc. I have been unemployed for over a year because of it. Everyday is a battle for me and I just want out of it. Hope this answers your question

 

[divinemistress36]

Here's another very beautiful message on what happens to souls from suicides.

I agree and no loving creator would punish a mentally ill person