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tears and vomit

tears and vomit

Member
Aug 21, 2025
5
Holy shit, I'm constantly scared and my brain keeps coming up with new fears. I'm starting college soon, after being in Canada for a year, and I've changed my name and everything about myself. But I'm so scared that I'm going to run into people who've seen me at my worst. I'm terrified of what people will think of me.

I'm scared because my parents are struggling with money, and it's hard to work while in college. On top of that, I'm scared about my grades. I don't know if I'll ever make it. My past mistakes keep haunting me over and over, and these thoughts won't stop. I don't know what to do.
Yes, I'm unmedicated, and healthcare fucking sucks here, so it would be extremely hard for me to get on medication. Does anyone else struggle with this? Please tell me I'm not alone.

I keep telling myself that I'm going to ctb anyway to try to calm myself down, but it doesn't work anymore. :(
I just feel like I don't belong anywhere
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Specialist
Jul 9, 2025
376
You're not alone. Anxiety ruined my life too since I was 16. It begun with huge agoraphobia and now I'm 43 with the same problems (even worse because I'm seriously ill with a rare fucking disease. You're very young, so I hope you can try some therapy or meds. In my time, nobody took care about me and I didn't took any med. No psychiatrist. In late 90's people didn't give a shit with mental illness. Now I literally missed my life and I'm in constant pain. Alone, never had a partner or real friends. That's why I'm here and CTB is the only solution for me. But I'm anxious about what happens after death. Shitty karma !!
 
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diopdawe

diopdawe

Member
Mar 29, 2025
93
Anxiety ruined my life. I was successful in my career, had a nice salary, a loving wife and a great appartement. Then all of a sudden, my anxiety levels were through the roof. I couldn't sleep and developed panick attacks. After a couple of months not being able to sleep and having panick attacks every day, I was fired from my job, my wife left me and I lost the appartement too. I feel so shit every day, I am a regular user of Clonezapam but will probably CTB because I lost everything...
 
T

TBONTB

Mage
May 31, 2025
594
Anxiety ruined my life. I was successful in my career, had a nice salary, a loving wife and a great appartement. Then all of a sudden, my anxiety levels were through the roof. I couldn't sleep and developed panick attacks. After a couple of months not being able to sleep and having panick attacks every day, I was fired from my job, my wife left me and I lost the appartement too. I feel so shit every day, I am a regular user of Clonezapam but will probably CTB because I lost everything...
Anxiety is so hard. Hope things improve
 
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Freedombus'25

Freedombus'25

Enlightened
Dec 8, 2019
1,637
Anxiety is ruining my life amd definitely part of my reasons to ctb. I've found some things helpful over the years but eh....

Wishing everyone struggling some peace and ease ✨
 

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