Discussion Is there a suicide reason that you consider dumb or invalid?

[Warlord's Pulse]

As title says, do you personally believe that there's a suicide reason too dumb, invalid or even crazy? Or do you just respect them all?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Honestly, no I do not believe that. I do know that people can go through things that place them outside of 'reality' and on the outside it may look 'crazy' and that other may perceive it differently to them, but I don't think that makes it 'dumb' etc.

I know that some things are looked at as cries for attention etc, but I don't think that invalidates them or their feelings whatsoever.

Someone could easily look at my situation and say it's 'dumb' or some shit like that, but that the gift of this place. We try our very best not to be judgmental and when we are, we try to catch it and have compassion for the other person.

We never truly know other people's lives.

 

[idhayam]

I don't really think so. However if the person themself thinks of their suicide reason as dumb or invalid I don't think they would ever be able to bring themselves to actually CTB.

 

[suffocating]

Not really. If you're at the point of wanting to kill yourself, you're definitely hurting enough for it to not be stupid. Everyone experiences pain differently.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

I have issues with people the ctb while they have young children. You put kids in this terrible reality and then you abandon them leaving them to the wolves of this cruel world. If you willingly chose to have kids please at the very least ensure that they will somehow be in a good situation after you ctb, its the fault of the parent that they exist to begin with. . At least wait until they are old enough to fend for themselves.

 

[TheHolySword]

It doesn't matter to me. Depression, illness, pact, did it for the vine. Whatever your reason, it's yours. Just don't harm others on your way out.

 

[yellowraincoat225]

I think my reason is very dumb, that's because I'm very dumb. But if someone told me their reason ans it was the same as mine, I wouldn't look down on them.

 

[divinemistress36]

People that ctb over a breakup assuming they will never get over them or find love again. When its possible they will find love again in time

 

[KillingPain267]

People that ctb over a breakup assuming they will never get over them or find love again. When its possible they will find love again in time

Breakup is what broke me though

As title says, do you personally believe that there's a suicide reason too dumb, invalid or even crazy? Or do you just respect them all?

No, I think everyone has the right to check out even for no reason at all.

 

[cloudyskye]

Personally I find some to be a bit ridiculous. However pain is pain and what effects one person might not effect another.

 

[VoidBlessed]

No, definitely not. There are reasons that I personally wouldn't use for my own suicide, but everyone has the right to decide for themselves and no one has the right to invalidate those experiences.

 

[-Tandem-]

Makes me sad that I see people on here who're virgins and they feel suicidal because they haven't experienced intimacy with the opposite sex. Having sex or finding a partner did absolutely nothing for my depression, there was temporary relief and distractions but at the end of the day I was still stuck with myself, and I've never liked myself, ever. I was one of the last of my buddies to lose my virginity (to a really beautiful girl who my friends were jealous of) and I remembered how bummed I felt afterward. It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but my friends acted like it was some life-altering experience and it wasn't at all, for me. I know everyone's different and maybe a partner really would cure someone's depression or suicidal ideation. I guess all I'm sayin is maybe people shouldn't put all their eggs in one basket. I was fucked up long before my 1st gf and am fucked up to this day.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Breakup is what broke me though

Yeah kind of same, not really a breakup per se but I fell in love with them for who they are and them choosing not to be with me in the way I'd desire doesn't take away from that.

 

[butimbleeding]

When I read this title I worried it might be a toxic thread where a bunch of people to come on here to invalidate other peoples' reasons.

But I actually enjoyed reading these replies. Everyone seems aware that whatever drives someone to not want to be alive anymore is valid. What might cause severe unbearable pain for one person, might not have that effect on another person. Everyone is different. If someone else were in my shoes maybe they could find a way to make life worth living. But that's not up to someone else, it's up to me.

One thing I like about this forum is specifically when I share how I feel on here and someone else validates it :) makes me feel less alone

 

[L'absent]

I would never question the reasons that drive a person to suicide. Even less would I be able to call this person stupid. There is a lot of suffering in the world and it comes in billions of forms. In our little minds it is impossible to understand what happens to another person. We could never understand anything about others.

 

[divinemistress36]

Makes me sad that I see people on here who're virgins and they feel suicidal because they haven't experienced intimacy with the opposite sex. Having sex or finding a partner did absolutely nothing for my depression, there was temporary relief and distractions but at the end of the day I was still stuck with myself, and I've never liked myself, ever. I was one of the last of my buddies to lose my virginity (to a really beautiful girl who my friends were jealous of) and I remembered how bummed I felt afterward. It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but my friends acted like it was some life-altering experience and it wasn't at all, for me. I know everyone's different and maybe a partner really would cure someone's depression or suicidal ideation. I guess all I'm sayin is maybe people shouldn't put all their eggs in one basket. I was fucked up long before my 1st gf and am fucked up to this day.

I think its cause they don't feel human being virgins especially for men. I agree sex is a temporary high and cant fix depression

 

[maniac116]

I think everybody is a different individual so we all have our individual reasons to think of ctb.
I might not understand another's "reason" for ctb & maybe mine wouldn't be easily understood by others. But it doesn't really matter.

 

[compulsoryaliveness]

I don't think it's ever dumb, invalid or crazy.

But I see my own experiences of suicidality as being separated into two types: 1) impulsive, emotionally dysregulated, crying, maybe having a come down and 2) rational, emotionally aware and present, nothing has immediately lead me there.

When i was much younger, my ideation and attempts were primarily impulsive. Now, it all feels rational.

I suppose it is useful for me to delineate because I do a lot of suicidal prevention. I primarily don't when I think someone is responding rationally. When it's impulsive, I try to create gaps of time so the person can regulate and see if they land in the same place.

I don't think we all want to die in response to things that can't be changed - I think sometimes things can change for some people, and they will want to keep living. I think it's important to be there for people who might just need time.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

If you CTB, there is always "enough reason."

Even if someone CTB just to make someone else feel bad... I can't imagine someone would do that if they did not have deep rooted issues and subconscious pain.

I almost did that myself when I was young partially due to emerging narc traits alongside my BPD. I was given so little empathy my whole life that it felt like killing myself was the only way to be important. The only way to have value, be remembered in a PROPER way. Not as a burden. I thought it was the only way towards true justice for the people who hurt me as well.

I'm lucky I grew out of that (mostly. I still fantasize about doing it to spite my semi-abusive mom and now my dad who doesn't give a shit about me anymore), but I'm sure other people would go through with it. And whether people who do that do it for my reason or not, I truly don't think it's possible for them to not have a "valid" reason.

There's always something underneath the surface.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me simply just existing is enough to make me wish for death, I don't believe existence to be a desirable state at all and I personally see no value to being conscious in this existence rather I see such as an unnecessary burden that there was never a need for at all. No matter what non-existence will always be preferable for me, human existence just feels like a mistake to me, it's something I'd never wish for and wish was never imposed more than anything, I'd always prefer to die but really only never existing is true perfection to me.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

As long as they didn't voluntarily bring a child into this existence and if said child is still dependent on them, I think that no reason for wanting an earlier death over a later one is dumb or stupid.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's possible for someone to commit impulsively perhaps. Maybe to start and immediately regret it. People have reported that. There still have to be reasons though- surely? And, who's to say what's an 'acceptable' amount of pain or suffering a person 'should' be able to put up with? If it's too much for them- shouldn't that be enough?

I would however say that maybe some suicides are especially tragic. What if that person could have been helped? But then- was it because they didn't reach out or, was it because the services weren't there or, weren't adequate? In which case- you're simply insisting that person carries on alone with their pain.

Personally, I think suicide is a pretty extreme act. It's made so that we're left with as brutal methods as possible to put us off. If someone is still willing to put themselves through that- surely, that's pretty telling of the pain they're in.

Will they always be in that amount of pain if they carried on with life? Who can say? Maybe someone with cancer granted assisted suicide is 'aided' (killed) two weeks before a promising cure is announced. It's all 'what ifs.' It's really down to the person on whether they're willing to hang around for the 'what if things get better'. It shouldn't be up to anyone else to judge- unless they are clearly out of their mind and not able to rationalise at all.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

everyone should have the right to leave this prison called life when they want to for any reason. Also if they want to stay and work and grow old that is their busines and should have that right too

We all will die anyway no matter what . And then after Death everything a human did in their life will be as if it never happened as if they never had existed for a brief time

In 200 years in 1000 years this will be more obvious . Nothing will matter then . In a trillion years there will be no trace this horrible Earth existed

Nothing matters

It doesnt matter to me what another human does in their own life choices. The only things that matter to me are me avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

Wtf that's a lot of replies, I'm not used to it, guess I just hit the spot this time huh

In time I will read one for one, patience

 

[Cyber4ngel!]

I have issues with people the ctb while they have young children. You put kids in this terrible reality and then you abandon them leaving them to the wolves of this cruel world. If you willingly chose to have kids please at the very least ensure that they will somehow be in a good situation after you ctb, its the fault of the parent that they exist to begin with. . At least wait until they are old enough to fend for themselves.

My mom ctb when i was 7, the same month of my birthday, i was just days from being 8, she was so incredibly depressed, an alcoholic and she was constantly mistreated by my father, he drugged her, he hit her, and she hit him too

I look like a copy of my mother, i have her looks and her personality, + i also have depression since a very young age, ever since she died my father got with another woman just months after that and they both have been abusing me the same and worse than he did to her

I don't resent her, not at all, she was the kindest person i ever met, full of life till the end, she was beautiful in all possible ways, she helped the homeless even if my dad didn't want to, she took care of me and even when the alcohol made her aggressive she never hit me, not even once

Of course, since she died i have been suffering from things that are unspeakable, that no human being should go through, being starved, SAed, physically and mentally abused, being kicked out of my house, being homeless, I dont even have vaccines since the age I was when she died, I have a very poor health

And even then, yes, I wish she was here and I know for a fact that if she was still with me I would've had a chance to have a normal life, but she isn't, and there isn't a single day when I dont miss her

But im not angry at her, im sad that she isn't here to protect me, im sad she was the only person who truly loved me and even then she didn't stay with me, I know that with her, I would have mostly a happy life. And i hope in another universe we stay together forever

Even if she wasn't really dead for some magical reason and she faked her death, if she did come back i would just ask her to take me with her, I would be mad that she abandoned me, but the feeling of seeing her again would be so much powerful that any anger

I'm sorry for the long story, I just wanted to share my perspective (also sorry for the bad English)

 

[unknown_xav]

My mom ctb when i was 7, the same month of my birthday, i was just days from being 8, she was so incredibly depressed, an alcoholic and she was constantly mistreated by my father, he drugged her, he hit her, and she hit him too

I look like a copy of my mother, i have her looks and her personality, + i also have depression since a very young age, ever since she died my father got with another woman just months after that and they both have been abusing me the same and worse than he did to her

I don't resent her, not at all, she was the kindest person i ever met, full of life till the end, she was beautiful in all possible ways, she helped the homeless even if my dad didn't want to, she took care of me and even when the alcohol made her aggressive she never hit me, not even once

Of course, since she died i have been suffering from things that are unspeakable, that no human being should go through, being starved, SAed, physically and mentally abused, being kicked out of my house, being homeless, I dont even have vaccines since the age I was when she died, I have a very poor health

And even then, yes, I wish she was here and I know for a fact that if she was still with me I would've had a chance to have a normal life, but she isn't, and there isn't a single day when I dont miss her

But im not angry at her, im sad that she isn't here to protect me, im sad she was the only person who truly loved me and even then she didn't stay with me, I know that with her, I would have mostly a happy life. And i hope in another universe we stay together forever

Even if she wasn't really dead for some magical reason and she faked her death, if she did come back i would just ask her to take me with her, I would be mad that she abandoned me, but the feeling of seeing her again would be so much powerful that any anger

I'm sorry for the long story, I just wanted to share my perspective (also sorry for the bad English)

That is very touching and an interesting perspective. I never thought of it this way, as I myself had doubts about a parent who ctb when having children. I also lost my mother at a very young age but due to a sudden illness, and I do feel in a similar way that I wish she was here and I would have someone to truly express myself with and feel vulnerable with. This really seems like it was a hard choice for your mother, and I am sure she really loved you with all her heart but perhaps the pain was too much to bear. That was a very insightful perspective for me.

 

[EternalShore]

My mom ctb when i was 7, the same month of my birthday, i was just days from being 8, she was so incredibly depressed, an alcoholic and she was constantly mistreated by my father, he drugged her, he hit her, and she hit him too

I look like a copy of my mother, i have her looks and her personality, + i also have depression since a very young age, ever since she died my father got with another woman just months after that and they both have been abusing me the same and worse than he did to her

I don't resent her, not at all, she was the kindest person i ever met, full of life till the end, she was beautiful in all possible ways, she helped the homeless even if my dad didn't want to, she took care of me and even when the alcohol made her aggressive she never hit me, not even once

Of course, since she died i have been suffering from things that are unspeakable, that no human being should go through, being starved, SAed, physically and mentally abused, being kicked out of my house, being homeless, I dont even have vaccines since the age I was when she died, I have a very poor health

And even then, yes, I wish she was here and I know for a fact that if she was still with me I would've had a chance to have a normal life, but she isn't, and there isn't a single day when I dont miss her

But im not angry at her, im sad that she isn't here to protect me, im sad she was the only person who truly loved me and even then she didn't stay with me, I know that with her, I would have mostly a happy life. And i hope in another universe we stay together forever

Even if she wasn't really dead for some magical reason and she faked her death, if she did come back i would just ask her to take me with her, I would be mad that she abandoned me, but the feeling of seeing her again would be so much powerful that any anger

I'm sorry for the long story, I just wanted to share my perspective (also sorry for the bad English)

I'm really sorry to hear about all that~ :( I really wish it had gone better for both of you because the things you describe sound truly terrible! D: I wonder if things even would've been better that way and if you wouldn't even be here if not for her~ :) regardless, I wish the best for you and will pray for you~ :) No one deserves to have to go through the things you have~ :(

 

[Sophie123]

Yeah, boredom. Like there are a million things to do.

 

[i-d-k]

Yeah, boredom. Like there are a million things to do.

sadly, that seems to be my reason. i don't have any "problems" in my life as such but i am simply not interested in anything life has to offer, so i would rather end it than force myself to continue living for no good reason

 

[Cyber4ngel!]

That is very touching and an interesting perspective. I never thought of it this way, as I myself had doubts about a parent who ctb when having children. I also lost my mother at a very young age but due to a sudden illness, and I do feel in a similar way that I wish she was here and I would have someone to truly express myself with and feel vulnerable with. This really seems like it was a hard choice for your mother, and I am sure she really loved you with all her heart but perhaps the pain was too much to bear. That was a very insightful perspective for me.

Im glad i gave you something interesting to read and to think about, of course i know that what i feel its now what everyone should feel and being angry with a parent because of something like this is valid, but in my case even though sometimes i feel she didn't love me enough to stay with me, and sometimes i feel her love for me its just something fabricated in my head and that if she actually had the chance to see me again she would hate me, I still, in a deep part of my heart, know that she was not happy living like that, and the last thing she said was: please let me see my child one last time. I know that must've been extremely hard for her, i know she couldn't think of a better life in that moment and that lead her to choose ctb, but I dont blame her, she died at 42 and she had been abused all of her life, just like me, I'm 18 and all i can think about sometimes is that i desperately want to end it all just like her, I had multiple failed attempts and i had people i loved, rn im just trying to stay alive and I started something like a gofundme and selling commissions because i have a cat and he gives me a reason and the strength to keep trying to escape from here
I know that my mom tried to stay with me all she could, just like Im trying to stay with my cat

I know she loved me and she didn't want any of this to happen, the years of abuse and mental illness was too strong for her, I just hope she found her peace

I'm really sorry to hear about all that~ :( I really wish it had gone better for both of you because the things you describe sound truly terrible! D: I wonder if things even would've been better that way and if you wouldn't even be here if not for her~ :) regardless, I wish the best for you and will pray for you~ :) No one deserves to have to go through the things you have~ :(

Thank you so much for your kindness <3 I like to think that if she was still with me things would have been so much better, regardless of that, I think I would still support people having a choice in living or dying how they want