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oopswronglife

Elementalist
Jun 27, 2019
870
I cannot catch a break. I keep having more and more medical issues. A recent diagnosis, whilst not something terrible like cancer, just feels like the end of the world on top of all the others and the rest of life, and anxiety consumes me. I never have a sprained ankle or something that heals with no trouble and life comes back. It's always some permanent thing with no cure or is too expensive to do anything about. Nothing ever gets better, just worse with periods of moderate stability in between. I don't want to die so CTB isn't something I am ready for and just trying to get over SI like some people....but it feels like the only way to escape. I feel utterly hopeless and sick in the pit of my stomach. I DO NOT WANT TO DIE.
 
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pole

Enlightened
Sep 18, 2018
1,385
I cannot catch a break. I keep having more and more medical issues. A recent diagnosis, whilst not something terrible like cancer, just feels like the end of the world on top of all the others and the rest of life, and anxiety consumes me. I never have a sprained ankle or something that heals with no trouble and life comes back. It's always some permanent thing with no cure or is too expensive to do anything about. Nothing ever gets better, just worse with periods of moderate stability in between. I don't want to die so CTB isn't something I am ready for and just trying to get over SI like some people....but it feels like the only way to escape. I feel utterly hopeless and sick in the pit of my stomach. I DO NOT WANT TO DIE.
god, it makes me feel i take living healthy physically for granted at times, even though my mental states been awful for a while. so sorry for what you're going through and i truly hope that you somehow fight these medical issues and kick their butts, and things turn around for you :(.
 

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