"It was obvious something was going on." will people say the same thing about you after your suicide?

[excinephile]

I feel that part about wanting to leave friends with positive memories. I feel like I've missed that chance and now people will remember me as this bitter and miserable wreck that I've become. Really fucking deplorable. If I had gone through with my attempt a year ago people would have been shocked but would have felt the loss and probably would have remembered me for the rest of their lifes. Now I'm just slowly fading away and I literally feel how people start to forget about my existence and humble contributions to society while I'm still around, in the shadow.

 

[sillyboy98]

I've usually tried to hide it and I think I did that pretty well. I did try to subtly open up a few times, but I don't think anyone noticed. Or they just didn't care. Maybe when I'm gone they'll realize what was up

 

[ramona_flowers]

Nah, my family will definitely make it about them and do the whole "We tried to help her so much. she's so selfish!"

 

[diy-event]

It will be a mystery

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

It depends
Would be a completely shock for my family, but no for most of my friends

 

[yellowsouled]

I think it'll be a shock. I've been "mopey" for years, but in public, I have a very overly polite mask (to be fair, I am very neurotic, but in private am naturally very monotone and not at all expressive) and have never expressed suicidal thoughts. My dad "jokes" about me being depressed, but fails to realize his jokes are true when he whines that I don't do enough.

 

[username12345]

I love this David Foster Wallace interview with German TV.

DFW describes why he started to write Infinite Jest. He said he wanted to write a book about sadness. He said he started the project after some people who he knew around his age had committed suicide. And he said about them it was obvious something was going.

To be far this man was a genius. I think noone in my environment knew dick before I almost drunk the SN. The self-help group, my family, friends who had no information....I think noone would have expected it to be then. I even gave a party shortly before almost killing myself. I wanted that my friends associate with me good memories.

Two of my friends knew it though because I told them it.

Afterwards I told my mom, grandma and my self-help group a ridiculous lie why the police came and all that stuff. And I think noone questioned it. They all bought it.

I don't think they will see it coming when I ctb. But to me it is so fucking obvious for me.

I think regardless of whether a planned death or accident they will just talk about how I'm crazy so they don't have to think about how unsupportive and hateful and harmful they were

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I do not know. I try to keep up appearances, but I have a long history of suicidal behavior, so those who know about it probably will not be too surprised. As for other people, well, I think they already know that there's something off about me, so I don't think it will surprise them too much either.

 

[failureofahuman]

Yes, I act insane

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I have only a few people left in my life now, and all of them see that I'm severely depressed and suicidal. It's about as obvious as it can get.

I've discussed suicide pretty openly with my wife (we're separated) because I felt it could help my loved ones accept my passing if they understood my suffering and hopelessness caused by degenerative mental illness. She gets upset at me for bringing it up, but she does understand to some degree why I want to die now, and it certainly won't be a surprise to her.

 

[GlassMoon]

My therapist wrote a report about two months ago stating I had no suicidal thoughts. I was surprised to read that, since he had not even asked me. But there are some problems in our connection, therefore I might not have told him the truth anyway even if he had asked. So he would be quite surprised, I guess.

 

[swandive]

It won't be a surprise to anyone who knows me well. My first attempt was age 13. 3 decades later….i feel a deep hopelessness that I push down enough to function the majority of the time. I have tried many therapies, ceremonies, drugs….i have tried all the things. It works for a bit sometimes. But I always end up back in my own personal hell. Crying until my eyes swell, my heart shattered, cortisol ridden and nervous system fried beyond repair. I honestly want to donate my brain to science. I want someone to see what this life has done to me.

Nobody will be shocked, that's for sure.
But I wish at least one person would acknowledge…that I made it pretty far.

Nah, my family will definitely make it about them and do the whole "We tried to help her so much. she's so selfish!"

My family and friends will definitely say the same. That I'm selfish and they "tried"