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Venting It’s all a fucking fucked up joke. (Mental breakdown thread)

C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Where to begin where to begin. Excuse my behavior and my pointless blabbering full of complaining and laughing. Hmm also any spelling mistakes and what not. Yay. Okay well let's see first and foremost backpain can sincerely wholeheartedly undeniably and any others -ly go fuck it to oblivion. Hmm okay okay now what uh oh I'm freezing up am I fucking this all up? Oh wait that's right it's okay to fuck shit up cause everything is amazingly and stupendously fucking stupid. Life is all about suffering but that isn't anything new. Everyone here knows that right? Hopefully or not. It's amazing how it's everywhere. It would be funny if it didn't hurt so bad but I guess after a certain point you have to laugh at it all. So then what? Oh yea I'll go back into my shell after all this to hold it all in together for my dear mother who I love so fucking much just so she doesn't have a fucking freak out also like me. But hey like mother like son? Right? Well no not really I never feel understood even with her. But that shit is boring. I'm complaining already oh wait I'm always complaining but hey its cool bro. Well it not and it is but then again idk fucking know anymore it's amazingly fucking fucked. Shewww. Okay now what. Now I'm thinking of deleting this cause this is embarrassing as fuck but why should I care when nothing matters. Nothing fucking matters. Atleast that's what good ol philosophers love to spout. Pain matters. Pain is everywhere. It sticks at me at every moment and every turn. But that's depressing to talk about also. Hell is there anything i can talk about that uplifting for once? Ohhhh wait I can't cause I simply am not capable of doin just that. I'm freezing up again and rethinking wtf am I even typing all this nonsense. Well I'll tell you fucking why. Cause everything is fucking boring and empty as fuck to the point that I don't think even the people here knows just how fucking empty and fucked a person can feel. It's crazy ain't it. One minute you can feel fine and the next you can snap just like that. I wonder if everyone snapped. What then? Oh no my moms alarm clock is going off and now I'm going to have to pretend. Fucking yyyyyaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy let's all do pretend time everyone. I'll go first.








 
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BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,394
20201216 154853
How it feels. I'm really, really sorry things are so bad right now. :hug::hug:

**ah fuck just saw the Golden Girls gif and that's accurate. The mocking laughter....
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Yeah Circles, it's good to see you but I'd hoped you'd be fairing better. :hug:
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Hmmm well I'm back on the mental saddle so apologies for anything but I don't care HA. Yay okay so what now? Good question I don't have a fucking clue but maybe that's the best time to say anything cause you let your mind say the shit that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever fucking ever. Wait that made sense. All well fuck it. I'm going to type 'kill yourself' to me over and over pretending that I'll have the power to kill myself if I say that too many times. M'kay?! K.
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Deleted member 94

Deleted member 94

Wizard
Mar 24, 2018
696
I feel the same as you every moment of every day, at least you still have your mum to hold onto. I lost mine 3 years ago. Don't know what I'm holding on for. I have all the stuff ready even stuff people consider the gold standard for ctb.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and does it matter your mum is still a part of your life. If mine was still with me I would soilder on some how.
 
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Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
Circles said:
Hmmm well I'm back on the mental saddle so apologies for anything but I don't care HA. Yay okay so what now? Good question I don't have a fucking clue but maybe that's the best time to say anything cause you let your mind say the shit that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever fucking ever. Wait that made sense. All well fuck it. I'm going to type 'kill yourself' to me over and over pretending that I'll have the power to kill myself if I say that too many times. M'kay?! K.
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Sep 16, 2020
1,151
I think you were/ARE where I've been, at a crossroads you think you're at the end but there's an option of ego and narcissism that happiness actually seems most possible down that path, so I hope you chose the junction that is best for you.
 
DocNo

DocNo

whatever
Oct 30, 2020
1,753
i thought yesterday "life is a joke and i missed the punchline".

and sometimes i think matter based existence is just a stupid idea. matter means prison for me.
 
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