Method Jumping From Height (Guide)

[Onelegman]

Pour le lieu où j'ai accès c'est une terrasse que pourrait m'ouvrir un gardien pour soit disant prendre des photos...et par où j'habite les immeubles sont pas haut....les hôtels soient les fenêtres s'ouvrent pas soit tu tombes sur un toit...
car le but est de trouver un truc haut mais où tu tombes sur le sol et pas sur un autre toit.

j'ai à peine la force de me laver donc chercher un autre location ou autre chose...

j'ai une phobie sociale+++ même dire bonjour a la voisine me stresse donc entreprendre toutes les démarches non merci.

pour larme c'est mort je suis en invalidité pour troubles psy...

je me demande comment font les enfants pour se pendre dans leur chambre alors que les parents sont à côté...la pendaison je suis nul en noeud j'aurais peur que ça se détache et de finir en légume.

mon état est très changeant jpeux etre assez bien 2,3 jours puis très mal 2,3 jours après sans savoir pourquoi...

quand j'arrive a l'heure,lieu du suicide j'y arrive pas,je bloque....comment font les 150 000 gens qui font des ts chaque année...

moi comme je ne peux pas faire de suicide impulsif ça diminue les chances.

les policiers,les médecins ont accès à ce qu'il faut donc ça m'étonne pas que le taux de suicide soit assez élevé.

When you say roof do you mean sheet metal or a roof? If you have the opportunity to fall head first, 2 floors would be more than enough if you land hard.

From what I understand from the translator, it is possible that you suffer from bipolarity, but you are not alone, I also have social phobia and moments of joy or immense sadness from one day to the next.

I don't think anyone commits suicide impulsively, like, did they put pickles in my hamburger? I commit suicide. ha ha ha. It's just a stupid joke, sorry if it bothered you. I understand what you mean, that you need to plan as much as possible, and as black and white says, everything doesn't matter in the end because survival is more important than anything else.

I still can't do it head first, and that would guarantee me what I'm looking for...

Could you have access to a key to go to the roof of your building? You would have a hard time ordering it but maybe... I don't know your area and you might not have what you're looking for either. As our friend says, there must be a dozen places to be able to do it, the fact is that you have to search carefully. You have my support

 

[Defenestration]

Le sn j'en avais commandé en décembre 2020 et mars 2021
Mais j'ai jeté a la poubelle les 2vboites...

Déjà quand j'ai la tête qui tourne un peu ça me stresse donc la se sentir partir bof avec ce type de sensation...c'est hyper flippant.
Et puis ça marche pas a tous les coups si mauvais dosage etc possibilité de tout vomir

Je veux un truc sur à 100/100.

La j'ai reculé car jeudi j'ai promis de m'occuper d'une personne agée après il y a la finale de Roland Garros.

Il y a tjrs un truc qui me fait reculer et quand je suis motivé c'est le s.I.

When you say roof do you mean sheet metal or a roof? If you have the opportunity to fall head first, 2 floors would be more than enough if you land hard.

From what I understand from the translator, it is possible that you suffer from bipolarity, but you are not alone, I also have social phobia and moments of joy or immense sadness from one day to the next.

I don't think anyone commits suicide impulsively, like, did they put pickles in my hamburger? I commit suicide. ha ha ha. It's just a stupid joke, sorry if it bothered you. I understand what you mean, that you need to plan as much as possible, and as black and white says, everything doesn't matter in the end because survival is more important than anything else.

I still can't do it head first, and that would guarantee me what I'm looking for...

Could you have access to a key to go to the roof of your building? You would have a hard time ordering it but maybe... I don't know your area and you might not have what you're looking for either. As our friend says, there must be a dozen places to be able to do it, the fact is that you have to search carefully. You have my support

Thanks.
Yes

bipolar
Borderline
Général anxiéty
Social phobia

No keys.

Thanks

 

[black and white]

Le sn j'en avais commandé en décembre 2020 et mars 2021
Mais j'ai jeté a la poubelle les 2vboites...

Déjà quand j'ai la tête qui tourne un peu ça me stresse donc la se sentir partir bof avec ce type de sensation...c'est hyper flippant.
Et puis ça marche pas a tous les coups si mauvais dosage etc possibilité de tout vomir

Je veux un truc sur à 100/100.

La j'ai reculé car jeudi j'ai promis de m'occuper d'une personne agée après il y a la finale de Roland Garros.

Il y a tjrs un truc qui me fait reculer et quand je suis motivé c'est le s.I.

C'est ce que je te dis, j'ai tout de suite remarqué ce phénomène aussi ces dernières semaines... Cette proportion à trouver des excuses et à remettre le projet est assez effarante, je pense que c'est une autre manifestation de ce SI, ou une peur de conclure, une incertitude. Moi aussi j'ai trouvé des excuses pour repousser, alors que plus les semaines avançaient et plus ma situation allait se compliquer, j'ai fait exprès de me mettre dans une situation inextricable pour m'obliger à trouver le courage et ne pas reculer.

En fait si t'y réfléchis bien la finale de Roland-Garros, ca parait assez comique comme excuse pour repousser un eventuel suicide,surtout alors que tu dis souffrir depuis si longtemps. Ce n'est pas pour me moquer, les miennes n'étaient pas mieux:, il pleut, trop froid, je commence à m'endormir, il y a une lumière allumer dans le batiment à coté... je me trouvais des excuses bidons pour me convaincre que c'était pas le bon soir.

La manifestation de certaines angoisses, c'est pareil en fait. S'imaginer qu'on pourrait agoniser par telles ou telles méthodes, c'est de l'imaginaire. Déjà personne n'est revenu pour nous dire s'il a souffert ou pas. Et clairement vu les tests etc partagés ici il parait assezévident que de toute façon ca se passe différement pour chaque personne.
Si on commence à penser à d'éventuelles agonies, c'est sûr qu'on ne va jamais le faire. Personne n'est maso, personne veut se faire du mal et souffrir inutilement. Moi c'est pour cela que j'en suis arrivé à considérer la précipitation, je me suis dis après les armes à feux ça semble être le plus rapide et le plus indolore en fait. Alors ou il peut y avoir un risque de survie, m'enfin trouver des spots à 50 mètres c'est chaud, et c'est flippant. Me suis déjà retrouvé au balcon d'un treizieme etage, c'est tres impresionnant. C'est pour ca que je trouve finalement 20 mètres c'est un bon compromis, bonne letalité assurée sans être non plus trop impressionnant. etc...

Bref c'est normal que tu ais peur, que tu hésites. Nos instincts naturels cherche à nous faire rester en vie. Donc c'est normal de tourner en rond, chercher des excuses. On finit tous par se complaire un peu dans notre situation et s'en contenter même si on est pas franchement heureux, au moins on sait à quoi s'attendre avec notre existence... Alors que pour un suicide, on sait pas trop vers quoi on va (=>inconnnu...), naturellement l'inconnu fait peur et notre cerveau (ainsi que notre culture et nos aprioris) tendent à nous bourrer le mou d'angoisses liées à de supposées atroces souffrances...

 

[Onelegman]

C'est ce que je te dis, j'ai tout de suite remarqué ce phénomène aussi ces dernières semaines... Cette proportion à trouver des excuses et à remettre le projet est assez effarante, je pense que c'est une autre manifestation de ce SI, ou une peur de conclure, une incertitude. Moi aussi j'ai trouvé des excuses pour repousser, alors que plus les semaines avançaient et plus ma situation allait se compliquer, j'ai fait exprès de me mettre dans une situation inextricable pour m'obliger à trouver le courage et ne pas reculer.

En fait si t'y réfléchis bien la finale de Roland-Garros, ca parait assez comique comme excuse pour repousser un eventuel suicide,surtout alors que tu dis souffrir depuis si longtemps. Ce n'est pas pour me moquer, les miennes n'étaient pas mieux:, il pleut, trop froid, je commence à m'endormir, il y a une lumière allumer dans le batiment à coté... je me trouvais des excuses bidons pour me convaincre que c'était pas le bon soir.

La manifestation de certaines angoisses, c'est pareil en fait. S'imaginer qu'on pourrait agoniser par telles ou telles méthodes, c'est de l'imaginaire. Déjà personne n'est revenu pour nous dire s'il a souffert ou pas. Et clairement vu les tests etc partagés ici il parait assezévident que de toute façon ca se passe différement pour chaque personne.
Si on commence à penser à d'éventuelles agonies, c'est sûr qu'on ne va jamais le faire. Personne n'est maso, personne veut se faire du mal et souffrir inutilement. Moi c'est pour cela que j'en suis arrivé à considérer la précipitation, je me suis dis après les armes à feux ça semble être le plus rapide et le plus indolore en fait. Alors ou il peut y avoir un risque de survie, m'enfin trouver des spots à 50 mètres c'est chaud, et c'est flippant. Me suis déjà retrouvé au balcon d'un treizieme etage, c'est tres impresionnant. C'est pour ca que je trouve finalement 20 mètres c'est un bon compromis, bonne letalité assurée sans être non plus trop impressionnant. etc...

Bref c'est normal que tu ais peur, que tu hésites. Nos instincts naturels cherche à nous faire rester en vie. Donc c'est normal de tourner en rond, chercher des excuses. On finit tous par se complaire un peu dans notre situation et s'en contenter même si on est pas franchement heureux, au moins on sait à quoi s'attendre avec notre existence... Alors que pour un suicide, on sait pas trop vers quoi on va (=>inconnnu...), naturellement l'inconnu fait peur et notre cerveau (ainsi que notre culture et nos aprioris) tendent à nous bourrer le mou d'angoisses liées à de supposées atroces souffrances...

Aaand it's gone. All my poise just vanished the same way it came. Disgusting brain.

You couldn't explain it better, it shows that you have thought long and hard about it. That is the biggest problem, the uncertainty, the unknown. A 10th floor or higher would be too scary for me, too much time in the air, a storm of thoughts until you hear something that helps you know how high you are. I tremble to think about it. That's why the darkness and closing my eyes will be a relief for me.

Anxiety is eating me right now, in a few hours my mother is leaving on a trip. I have given her my last kisses and hugs, she has said that she is going to miss them very much without knowing that those will be the last. I feel dirty, a traitor, a bad son and person. I made sure that they were many and strong, but it hurts so much that I wish I were struck by lightning right now. My God, what have I done? I have condemned myself, I deserve to die, there is no other chance and I would like her to know it, for her to accept it with a certain integrity, but she is more sensitive than me and something like that would kill her in life. In all these years she always told me that if I left, she would go after me...

I need help please!!! Whatever, oh god, something takes me away without warning...

 

[Defenestration]

C'est ce que je te dis, j'ai tout de suite remarqué ce phénomène aussi ces dernières semaines... Cette proportion à trouver des excuses et à remettre le projet est assez effarante, je pense que c'est une autre manifestation de ce SI, ou une peur de conclure, une incertitude. Moi aussi j'ai trouvé des excuses pour repousser, alors que plus les semaines avançaient et plus ma situation allait se compliquer, j'ai fait exprès de me mettre dans une situation inextricable pour m'obliger à trouver le courage et ne pas reculer.

En fait si t'y réfléchissais bien à la finale de Roland-Garros, ça parait assez comique comme excuse pour repousser un éventuel suicide, surtout alors que tu dis souffrir depuis si longtemps. Ce n'est pas pour me moquer, les miennes n'étaient pas mieux :, il pleut, trop froid, je commence à m'endormir, il ya une lumière allumer dans le bâtiment à coté... je me trouveis des excuses bidons pour me convaincre que c'était pas le bon soir.

La manifestation de certaines angoisses, c'est pareil en fait. S'imaginer qu'on pourrait agoniser par telles ou telles méthodes, c'est de l'imaginaire. Déjà personne n'est revenu pour nous dire s'il a souffert ou pas. Et clairement vu les tests partagés etc ici il paraissait assez évident que de toute façon ça se passe différement pour chaque personne.
Si on commence à penser à d'éventuelles agonies, c'est sûr qu'on ne va jamais le faire. Personne n'est maso, personne veut se faire du mal et souffrir inutilement. Moi c'est pour cela que j'en suis arrivé à considérer la précipitation, je me suis dis après les armes à feux ça semble être le plus rapide et le plus indolore en fait. Alors ou il peut y avoir un risque de survie, m'enfin trouver des spots à 50 mètres c'est chaud, et c'est désinvolte. Me suis déjà retrouvé au balcon d'un treizieme étage, c'est très impressionnant. C'est pour ça que je trouve finalement 20 mètres c'est un bon compromis, bonne létalité assurée sans être non plus trop impressionnant. etc...

Bref c'est normal que tu ais peur, que tu hésites. Nos instincts naturels cherchent à nous faire rester en vie. Donc c'est normal de tourner en rond, chercher des excuses. On finit tous par se compléter un peu dans notre situation et s'en contenter même si on est pas franchement heureux, au moins on sait à quoi s'attendre avec notre existence... Alors que pour un suicide, on sait pas trop vers quoi on va (=>inconnnu...), naturellement l'inconnu fait peur et notre cerveau (ainsi que notre culture et nos aprioris) tendent à nous bourrer le mou d'angoisses liées à de supposées atroces souffrances...

Intéressant de parler avec toi.
Ôui la finale de Roland Garros c'est ridicule...et jmen fous un peu mais tant qu'à attendre jeudi prochain( il faut que je fasse marcher un vieux monsieur j'avais donné ma parole)autant attendre 3 jours de plus pour la finale lol

Te mettre dans une situation dure pour ne plus pouvoir reculer...je comprends
Je me reconnais en ça ou quand j'allais mieux,quand j'étais moins dépressif j'étais déçu d'aller bien alors que j'aurais dû être content !!! Donc parfois je suis content d'aller mal pour augmenter mes chances de suicide.

J.ai une intolérance a l'incertitude extrêmement elevée donc oui ce que je connais pas m'effraie.

bah en fait c'est sûrement à cause du trouble bipolaire/borderline c'est soit j'ai envie a fond de me suicider de manière obsédante ou soit j'ai plus envie du tout....il n'y a pas d'entre milieu

La a l'instant où je te parle j'ai plus envie du tout ...mon envie n'est jamais constante...ça peut être du 1/10 et puis passer a 9/10...ça change en quelques heures...

et bien sûr quand je suis à 9/10 je peux pas le faire le suicide alors que rien ne m'arrêterait...et je ne veux pas faire np quoi...

La j'ai plus envie du tout, mais je sais très bien que demain ou après demain je pourrai de nouveau en avoir envie...et que ça reviendra...
Le moindre petit détail peut me faire replonger et me faire souffrir le martyr.

Mais bon même quand j'ai plus envie je sais que la meilleure des choses pour moi objectivement reste le suicide...dans quelques temps( je ne sais pas quand 6 mois,1.an,2 ans) je serai dans une situation très compliquée et je veux me sauver pour ne pas l'affronter...
Jen suis jaloux des gens qui se font tuer lors d'attentat,écraser par une voiture ou des gens qui ont un cancer foudroyant qui les tue en 1 an...j'en ai honte mais je trouve injuste tous ces gens qui meurent et qui n'ont rien demandé alors que moi je suis tjrs là alors que rien n'ira mieux avec le temps et que je ne souhaitenquenmouror...et puis si je meurs de manière extérieure c'est moins culpabilisant que de me se suicider...

chaque soir je me couche avec l'espoir de.mourir dans mon sommeil et bien sûr ça n'arrive qu'aux autres....si un cambrioleur pouvait.me foutre une balle dans la tête pendant que je dors.....
il y a une autre chose :

être suicidaire et avoir une méthode bien carrée est hyper rassurant comme cela on sait que le moment venu on peut quitter le jeu. La vie est un jeu,plus envie de jouer game over. Donc même en restant en vie ce numéro de secours du suicide est rassurante ,sécurisant.on est pas bloqué dans la vie.

 

[black and white]

Intéressant de parler avec toi.
Ôui la finale de Roland Garros c'est ridicule...et jmen fous un peu mais tant qu'à attendre jeudi prochain( il faut que je fasse marcher un vieux monsieur j'avais donné ma parole)autant attendre 3 jours de plus pour la finale lol

Te mettre dans une situation dure pour ne plus pouvoir reculer...je comprends
Je me reconnais en ça ou quand j'allais mieux,quand j'étais moins dépressif j'étais déçu d'aller bien alors que j'aurais dû être content !!! Donc parfois je suis content d'aller mal pour augmenter mes chances de suicide.

J.ai une intolérance a l'incertitude extrêmement elevée donc oui ce que je connais pas m'effraie.

bah en fait c'est sûrement à cause du trouble bipolaire/borderline c'est soit j'ai envie a fond de me suicider de manière obsédante ou soit j'ai plus envie du tout....il n'y a pas d'entre milieu

La a l'instant où je te parle j'ai plus envie du tout ...mon envie n'est jamais constante...ça peut être du 1/10 et puis passer a 9/10...ça change en quelques heures...

et bien sûr quand je suis à 9/10 je peux pas le faire le suicide alors que rien ne m'arrêterait...et je ne veux pas faire np quoi...

La j'ai plus envie du tout, mais je sais très bien que demain ou après demain je pourrai de nouveau en avoir envie...et que ça reviendra...
Le moindre petit détail peut me faire replonger et me faire souffrir le martyr.

Mais bon même quand j'ai plus envie je sais que la meilleure des choses pour moi objectivement reste le suicide...dans quelques temps( je ne sais pas quand 6 mois,1.an,2 ans) je serai dans une situation très compliquée et je veux me sauver pour ne pas l'affronter...
Jen suis jaloux des gens qui se font tuer lors d'attentat,écraser par une voiture ou des gens qui ont un cancer foudroyant qui les tue en 1 an...j'en ai honte mais je trouve injuste tous ces gens qui meurent et qui n'ont rien demandé alors que moi je suis tjrs là alors que rien n'ira mieux avec le temps et que je ne souhaitenquenmouror...et puis si je meurs de manière extérieure c'est moins culpabilisant que de me se suicider...

chaque soir je me couche avec l'espoir de.mourir dans mon sommeil et bien sûr ça n'arrive qu'aux autres....si un cambrioleur pouvait.me foutre une balle dans la tête pendant que je dors.....
il y a une autre chose :

être suicidaire et avoir une méthode bien carrée est hyper rassurant comme cela on sait que le moment venu on peut quitter le jeu. La vie est un jeu,plus envie de jouer game over. Donc même en restant en vie ce numéro de secours du suicide est rassurante ,sécurisant.on est pas bloqué dans la vie.

Comme tu le soulignes, il y a déjà un manque de constance dans ton envie, ça va et ça vient avec tes fluctuations d'humeurs. Cela montre qu'à certains moments de mal être, tu vois le suicide comme une option pour stopper cette souffrance. En revanche à d'autres moments, tu n'en as plus envie.
Tu as donc un choix, tu pourrais très bien te tourner d'avantage vers la vie; l'idée de suicide semble très présente chez toi car le mal être bien que chronique, est régulier et surement qu'avec le temps qui a passé tu es persuadé que tu ne peux pas régler un certains nombre de tes problèmes, donc cette option te semble la plus logique.

A propos de "faire n"importe quoi". Il y a une certaine incertitude dans un suicide, quelque soit la méthode. Même si certaines méthodes paraissent radicale, rien n'est jamais sûr à 100%. On notera tout de même, que de se pendre (full suspension), se tirer une balle dans la tête, se jeter d'une hauteur et d'autres, présentent des taux de survie faible. Une mauvaise exécution peut arriver mais généralement il y a une vraie volonté d'en finir quand on fait cela.
Donc faire n'importe quoi, je comprend l'idée, on aimerait tous vouloir le faire vraiment correctement, mais on est pas médecin ni ne nous entrainons tous les weekends au suicide et donc nous ne serons jamais certains d'exécuter les choses parfaitement. Cela fait partie du processus (aller vers l'inconnu) que d'accepter cette incertitude.

Beaucoup de personnes pro-choice, ont du pentobarbital chez eux, ou une arme ou autre parce que justement cette notion de choix est importante pour eux. C'est etre un peu plus maitre de son existence. Ils n'attentent pas forcément à leurs jours mais cela les rassure de savoir qu'ils ont le choix et qu'ils peuvent l'utiliser s'ils le souhaitent.

Aaand it's gone. All my poise just vanished the same way it came. Disgusting brain.

You couldn't explain it better, it shows that you have thought long and hard about it. That is the biggest problem, the uncertainty, the unknown. A 10th floor or higher would be too scary for me, too much time in the air, a storm of thoughts until you hear something that helps you know how high you are. I tremble to think about it. That's why the darkness and closing my eyes will be a relief for me.

Anxiety is eating me right now, in a few hours my mother is leaving on a trip. I have given her my last kisses and hugs, she has said that she is going to miss them very much without knowing that those will be the last. I feel dirty, a traitor, a bad son and person. I made sure that they were many and strong, but it hurts so much that I wish I were struck by lightning right now. My God, what have I done? I have condemned myself, I deserve to die, there is no other chance and I would like her to know it, for her to accept it with a certain integrity, but she is more sensitive than me and something like that would kill her in life. In all these years she always told me that if I left, she would go after me...

I need help please!!! Whatever, oh god, something takes me away without warning...

I didnt think so much about in fact. I'm just very fast and straight in my way of thinking... And usually words are kind of easy to use, in a way it's limited to express things but not that complicated. ;)

You love your mother, that's normal you feel bad about executing your plan. You feel empathy, you imagine the consequences for her. You feel guilty that she would have to handle sufferings because of your action etc.
It's about you to decide what is the most important: is it to die because you can't stand sufferings everyday of your life; or to protect your mother and your close people from your eventual death.

No one can help you about that. I can't say what is better: dying because you want to, or living to protect your family. Whatever you decide (life or death) make a choice and don't come back on it, because you're the one suffering from it. I mean if you feel that bad for your mother and decide to stay close to her, to survive to protect her, so make this choice one time and never look back. Because closing yourself in this uncertainty is terrible for yourself. You will fluctuate in different kind of mood which are not comfortable, handling different thought that are painful.



To both of you, the only advice i would give is to make a choice, whatever it is and to assume it fully, especially if you choose life. It won't be easy everyday , some bad mood will come back etc. But do your best to take the path of life and believe in it. Do your best to develop your life, to help yourself with your problems etc. If you live you have to assume it fully or it's just awful to endure. I hear suffering from you guys, and i think mostly it is those sufferings that block you in your life. If you focus too much on it, of course your life will be unbearable in the day by day.
That's not easy, but if we choose to live we have to do it full, and do the max otherwise it's not worth it. That was my error, i did live but i should have done much more for myself, work harder, try to fix problems, choose some ambitions and work hard to accomplish them. I often choosed easyness or being kind of lazy in life because i was tired by life since i'm a child. Would it have been better and my life better if i did? Who knows... But thats' the way of life, if you live, you have to believe in life, you have to find some goals and dedicate yourself to them fully.

If you think about death as an escape to the life you don't succeed to live, or a path to stop your sufferings, it may work but it wil make things more difficult to commit suicide. That's already not an easy path to follow so anything that makes you doubt will make it harder to execute.
I feel things differently, i am at peace with all that. I already live my existence even if i could do more, i had my moments i did several things. Not that i am fully satisfied on everything, but i don't have regrets, i dont need to live more, i see myself at the end of the cycle. Life just doesn't suit me i don't want to stay in this anymore. I'm not sad, nor suffering, i had plenty of time to calm down all those sufferings. I'm just done with life in a very calm way, just want to stop it. Yet i have automation like everyone else, and making the step to provoke your own death is not easy.

Whatever you decide, i wish you guys strenght and peace.

 

[Onelegman]

Interesante hablar contigo.
Sí, la final de Roland Garros es ridícula... y estoy un poco loca pero mientras esperemos hasta el próximo jueves (tengo que hacer caminar a un viejo, di mi palabra) más vale esperar 3 más Días para el final jajaja

Ponerse en una situación difícil para no poder volver atrás... lo entiendo.
Me reconozco en eso o cuando estaba mejor, cuando estaba menos deprimida me decepcionaba estar bien cuando debería haber sido feliz!!! Por eso a veces me alegro de ser malo para aumentar mis posibilidades de suicidio.

Tengo una intolerancia extremadamente alta a la incertidumbre así que sí, lo que no sé me asusta.

Bueno, de hecho, probablemente se deba al trastorno bipolar/límite. O realmente quiero suicidarme de una manera obsesiva o ya no quiero hacerlo en absoluto... no hay un 'entre medio'.

En el momento en que te hablo ya no lo quiero para nada… mi deseo nunca es constante… puede ser 1/10 y luego pasar a 9/10… cambia en unas horas…

y por supuesto cuando estoy en 9/10 no puedo suicidarme cuando nada me detendría... y no quiero hacer nada...

Ahora no lo quiero para nada, pero sé muy bien que mañana o pasado mañana podré volver a quererlo... y que volverá...
El más mínimo detalle puede hacerme caer de nuevo y hacerme sufrir como el infierno.

Pero bueno, incluso cuando ya no quiero, sé que lo mejor para mí objetivamente sigue siendo el suicidio... dentro de un tiempo (no sé cuando 6 meses, 1 año, 2 años) estaré en Es muy complicado y quiero salir corriendo para no afrontarlo...
Tengo celos de las personas que mueren en atentados, atropelladas por un coche o de las personas que tienen un cáncer devastador que los mata en 1 año... Me avergüenzo pero me parece injusto toda esta gente que muere y que No pedí nada mientras todavía esté aquí, mientras que nada mejorará con el tiempo y no quiero morir... y luego, si muero externamente, es menos culpable que suicidarme.

todas las noches me acuesto con la esperanza de... morir mientras duermo y por supuesto eso sólo les pasa a otras personas... si un ladrón pudiera... meterme una bala en la cabeza mientras duermo... .
hay otra cosa:

Ser suicida y tener un método claro es súper tranquilizador porque sabes que cuando llegue el momento puedes abandonar el juego. La vida es un juego, ya no quieres terminar el juego. Entonces, incluso si sigues con vida, este número de emergencia para suicidas es tranquilizador y tranquilizador. No estamos atrapados en la vida.

I agree with black and white, bipolarity takes its toll on you. I assume you have already gone to the doctors to treat your symptoms, that you have had years of therapy and medication and they have achieved almost no progress or improvement. I may not suffer as much as you, but I do empathize with you when I see that nice phrases and pills do not achieve anything lasting.

Como señalas, ya hay una falta de coherencia en tu deseo, va y viene con tus fluctuaciones de humor. Esto demuestra que en determinados momentos de malestar se ve el suicidio como una opción para frenar este sufrimiento. En cambio, otras veces ya no lo deseas.
Entonces tienes una opción, bien podrías volverte más hacia la vida; La idea del suicidio parece muy presente en ti porque la infelicidad, aunque crónica, es regular y seguramente con el tiempo que ha pasado estás convencido de que no puedes resolver un cierto número de tus problemas, por lo que esta opción te parece la más lógico.

Sobre "hacer cualquier cosa" Hay una cierta incertidumbre en un suicidio, sea cual sea el método. Incluso si ciertos métodos parecen radicales, nada es 100% seguro. Sin embargo, cabe señalar que ahorcarse (suspensión total), dispararse. en la cabeza, lanzarse desde una altura y otros, tienen bajas tasas de supervivencia. Puede ocurrir una mala ejecución pero generalmente hay un deseo real de terminar cuando lo hacemos.
Entonces, al hacer cualquier cosa, entiendo la idea, a todos nos gustaría querer hacerlo realmente correctamente, pero no somos médicos ni practicamos el suicidio todos los fines de semana y por lo tanto nunca estaremos seguros de hacer las cosas a la perfección. Es parte del proceso (ir hacia lo desconocido) aceptar esta incertidumbre.

Muchas personas pro-elección tienen pentobarbital en su casa, o un arma o algo más, porque precisamente esta noción de elección es importante para ellos. Es tener un poco más de control de tu existencia. No necesariamente se suicidan, pero les tranquiliza saber que tienen una opción y que pueden usarla si lo desean.

De hecho, no pensé mucho en ello. Simplemente soy muy rápido y directo en mi forma de pensar... Y normalmente las palabras son algo fáciles de usar, en cierto modo se limitan a expresar cosas pero no son tan complicadas. ;)

Amas a tu madre, es normal que te sientas mal por ejecutar tu plan. Sientes empatía, te imaginas las consecuencias para ella. Te sientes culpable de que ella tenga que soportar sufrimientos debido a tu acción, etc.
Depende de ti decidir qué es lo más importante: si morir porque no soportas los sufrimientos todos los días de tu vida; o para proteger a tu madre y a tus personas cercanas de tu eventual muerte.

Nadie puede ayudarte con eso. No puedo decir qué es mejor: morir porque quieres o vivir para proteger a tu familia. Decidas lo que decidas (de vida o muerte), haz una elección y no vuelvas a hacerlo, porque eres tú quien lo sufre. Quiero decir, si te sientes tan mal por tu madre y decides permanecer cerca de ella, sobrevivir para protegerla, toma esta decisión una vez y nunca mires atrás. Porque encerrarte en esta incertidumbre es terrible para ti. Usted fluctuará en diferentes tipos de humor que no le resultarán cómodos, manejando diferentes pensamientos que le resultarán dolorosos.



A ambos , el único consejo que les daría es que hagan una elección, sea cual sea, y la asuman plenamente, sobre todo si eligen la vida. No será fácil todos los días, volverá el mal humor, etc. Pero haz lo mejor que puedas para tomar el camino de la vida y creer en él. Haz lo mejor que puedas para desarrollar tu vida, para ayudarte con tus problemas, etc. Si vives tienes que asumirlo plenamente o simplemente será horrible de soportar. Escucho sufrimiento de ustedes, y creo que principalmente son esos sufrimientos los que los bloquean en sus vidas. Si te concentras demasiado en ello, por supuesto que tu vida será insoportable en el día a día.
Eso no es fácil, pero si elegimos vivir tenemos que hacerlo al máximo, y hacerlo al máximo, de lo contrario no vale la pena. Ese fue mi error, viví pero debería haber hecho mucho más por mí mismo, trabajar más duro, tratar de solucionar problemas, elegir algunas ambiciones y trabajar duro para lograrlas. A menudo elegí la tranquilidad o ser un poco perezoso en la vida porque estaba cansado de la vida desde que era un niño. ¿Habría sido mejor y mi vida habría sido mejor si lo hubiera hecho? Quién sabe... Pero así es la vida, si se vive, hay que creer en la vida, hay que buscarse unas metas y dedicarse a ellas de lleno.

Si piensas en la muerte como un escape a la vida que no logras vivir, o un camino para detener tus sufrimientos, puede que funcione, pero hará las cosas más difíciles para suicidarte. Ese ya no es un camino fácil de seguir, por lo que cualquier cosa que te haga dudar hará que sea más difícil de ejecutar.
Siento las cosas de otra manera, estoy en paz con todo eso. Ya vivo mi existencia aunque pudiera hacer más, tuve mis momentos hice varias cosas. No es que esté del todo satisfecho con todo, pero no me arrepiento, no necesito vivir más, me veo al final del ciclo. La vida simplemente no me sigue. No quiero quedarme más en esto. No estoy triste, ni sufriendo, tuve tiempo de sobra para calmar a todos los que sufren. Acabo de terminar con la vida de una manera muy tranquila, solo quiero detenerla. Sin embargo, tengo automatización como todos los demás, y dar el paso para provocar tu propia muerte no es fácil.

Decidan lo que decidan, les deseo fuerza y paz.

On other occasions I decided to stay and I have long regretted it, that is why now I don't want to back out, because I know what will await me if I do. Well, there is no way to help me with my feelings of guilt towards my mother, but anything would have been enough for me... now she is no longer here, I will be able to talk to her every night but you know, it is not the same. The only relief is not having to look at her face knowing what I'll do. Although I can tell that she is afraid, and it is most understandable given my history.

We have made our decision, but the YES, the mind or whatever we want to call it is pricking us to reverse it. I have always said that I would be a child forever because I avoid worries and look for the good in life, and it is very possible that that has made me be that way. I can't stand life, you said it well, the pain that having responsibilities that I neither desire nor are obligatory causes me and 230 other things make me want to get out of the game. I keep telling myself: come on man, it will be 2 seconds, 3 at most and then nothing will matter, the hardest part will already be over, the only thing left will be the question of whether you will have to wait on the cold ground or not. But damn subconscious...

Despite everything, I thank you black and white, with each post we are removing small stones of fear.

 

[black and white]

Despite everything, I thank you black and white, with each post we are removing small stones of fear.

you're welcome, i just do my best to talk sincerely.

Not afraid anymore too. But i know fear will appear at the last moment, i won't listen to it. We're able to find the courage. Not a big deal.

 

[Defenestration]

you're welcome, i just do my best to talk sincerely.

Not afraid anymore too. But i know fear will appear at the last moment, i won't listen to it. We're able to find the courage. Not a big deal.

Yes Big thanks to you black and white

 

[Oathkeeper]

How likely would a drop of a little over 100ft onto hard concrete kill me? I have a spot that I've been scoping out for…quite some time. In the dead of night, it will be very private, but easy enough to locate that the police I call before I jump will easily find me before anybody else does.

 

[Onelegman]

How likely would a drop of a little over 100ft onto hard concrete kill me? I have a spot that I've been scoping out for…quite some time. In the dead of night, it will be very private, but easy enough to locate that the police I call before I jump will easily find me before anybody else does.

If I were you I wouldn't call the police, they can be very quick when they want to. Do you know telegram? the mobile app? Without paying (like if you order WhatsApp) you can schedule a message to be sent. You can write it in notes on your phone, copy it when you are close to doing it and set it to be sent in 2 hours. That way they will find you, but not in time to save you. 100 feet? According to Google that is 30 meters, I see it as very feasible, and if you have the possibility of falling head first it would be a "success"

 

[black and white]

How likely would a drop of a little over 100ft onto hard concrete kill me? I have a spot that I've been scoping out for…quite some time. In the dead of night, it will be very private, but easy enough to locate that the police I call before I jump will easily find me before anybody else does.

Same advise, i wouldnt call the police. because rescue can arrive pretty fast and try to save you.

But more than that, you should consider that suicide is not easy to do, and you can fail find the courage to make the final step. If it happened and you did call the police, then what? You will be emprisonned in a psy ward and this could have huge consequences for yourself

I understand you worry about someone finding you, but you shouldnt think about that. Suicide is something that should be kept secret the most possible. It is so badly considered in the society that you will have to handle consequences and your status in the society will change forever in case you don't do it or you survive. You will be institutionalized.

when someone will find you, the person will probably don't come too close and just call the ambulance without knowing what happened and know in what condition you are.


For the rest 100 feet is a good height it is very close to 100% chance of instantaneous death without feeling anything. don't jump with legs first and gravity will do the rest.

 

[Oathkeeper]

Unfortunately after doing some more scoping today, it appears to be more like 70 feet. That doesn't seem nearly tall enough to ensure finality, does it?

This is really the only place I'll be able to reliably have some privacy in my area.

 

[mustangsally4ever]

Unfortunately after doing some more scoping today, it appears to be more like 70 feet. That doesn't seem nearly tall enough to ensure finality, does it?

This is really the only place I'll be able to reliably have some privacy in my area.

I wouldn't risk it at that height. Good chance you could end up badly hurt/paralyzed and life would be so much worse.

My spot is over 850ft over water. I wanted some place I was absolutely sure would not be survivable. I'm going in less than a week. I just hope I can overcome SI.

 

[black and white]

Unfortunately after doing some more scoping today, it appears to be more like 70 feet. That doesn't seem nearly tall enough to ensure finality, does it?

This is really the only place I'll be able to reliably have some privacy in my area.

that's the minimum for a high lehtal potential. Onelegman and I are on the similar height. Once again, don't jump legs first. If head or neck hit violently the chance of survival become very small. So 100 feet and over is more sure because lethal become almost sure 100% no matter how you fall.

But yes 70ft is already very serious, is it 100% sure? no. But if legs don't absorb the impact, if the head hit violently, we're talkin about a 90% chance to die.
Should try higher height? Why not, but first ideal spot over 100ft won't be easy to find. Secondly the higher the most impressive and probably the higher the more far from where you live, which means a trip to go there etc.

I'm on the 8th floor, which arent that big, so about 65-70 ft, something like that. But it's where i live which make it easy to access, every night at late time i can try. I did already that's why i know it's also good to have a comfortable option, an easy spot; cause SI is very strong. If you have a long trip to go to your spot, and you realise that SI is strong and block you to jump, probably you'll go there one or two time, and after those failure you will be lazy for such long trip knowing there is a high chance of going there for nothing.

So it's up to you, Is it enough to die? Yeah people die falling from less than that. Is it 100% sure? No but the chance are pretty high as far as the head is hit seriously (which also a condition to not realise anything).

I wouldn't risk it at that height. Good chance you could end up badly hurt/paralyzed and life would be so much worse.

My spot is over 850ft over water. I wanted some place I was absolutely sure would not be survivable. I'm going in less than a week. I just hope I can overcome SI.

good luck, it's a very serious height, if you make the jump, you're sure to die, i don't see anyway to survive that even jumping legs first. Theorically you will arrive at a speed of 200kmh / 125mph (maybe more) which is the maximum ....

 

[mustangsally4ever]

that's the minimum for a high lehtal potential. Onelegman and I are on the similar height. Once again, don't jump legs first. If head or neck hit violently the chance of survival become very small. So 100 feet and over is more sure because lethal become almost sure 100% no matter how you fall.

But yes 70ft is already very serious, is it 100% sure? no. But if legs don't absorb the impact, if the head hit violently, we're talkin about a 90% chance to die.
Should try higher height? Why not, but first ideal spot over 100ft won't be easy to find. Secondly the higher the most impressive and probably the higher the more far from where you live, which means a trip to go there etc.

I'm on the 8th floor, which arent that big, so about 65-70 ft, something like that. But it's where i live which make it easy to access, every night at late time i can try. I did already that's why i know it's also good to have a comfortable option, an easy spot; cause SI is very strong. If you have a long trip to go to your spot, and you realise that SI is strong and block you to jump, probably you'll go there one or two time, and after those failure you will be lazy for such long trip knowing there is a high chance of going there for nothing.

So it's up to you, Is it enough to die? Yeah people die falling from less than that. Is it 100% sure? No but the chance are pretty high as far as the head is hit seriously (which also a condition to not realise anything).

good luck, it's a very serious height, if you make the jump, you're sure to die, i don't see anyway to survive that even jumping legs first. Theorically you will arrive at a speed of 200kmh / 125mph (maybe more) which is the maximum ....

I have a long trip to go to my spot, so I'm a little worried about SI. I will also have to act quickly once I start to climb the rail as there will likely be other people around. But maybe this will help with the SI as there will be very little time to think about it. There's no way I want to risk being stopped because then I will be held in a psych ward and I fear that more than anything.

 

[Onelegman]

Unfortunately after doing some more scoping today, it appears to be more like 70 feet. That doesn't seem nearly tall enough to ensure finality, does it?

This is really the only place I'll be able to reliably have some privacy in my area.

The human eye is very deceptive in distances, if it is a well-known place, perhaps on the Internet you can see some information such as the real height of the bridge (or whatever the place is). Another thing, reading Black and White I have thought about it, if you call the police, you do nothing and they catch you, there are places where they can report you for a "false" call. Another reason not to do it.

mustangsally4ever will you fall into the water? The SI is strong, but if you act quickly you will hardly even feel it, I speak from experience, you concentrate so much on stepping well and not making mistakes that you laugh at the F1 drivers. I'm also afraid of myself SI

 

[UtopianElephant]

Yes, I imagine there are security measures in that regard, but there will always be the black market, a friend of a friend, an alley in a bad neighborhood in another state... I guess the cinema has convinced me too much that in the USA You can get a gun with little effort. damn hollywood

Yes, there are different possibilities, at least in theory, but there are many people posting on this site from the US, saying that they don't have access to guns. And as an American, living in a big city, I don't have friends or connections for that.

 

[Onelegman]

I assume that those people will be mostly minors or people with certain restrictions on obtaining weapons. Lack of money or registered as people with mental problems and hence they cannot buy. If you're not in a situation like that, I suppose you could go to the nearest gun store and ask what it takes to get one. I imagine a short course, having no background and little else. Think about it and tell me

 

[Onelegman]

I have a long trip to go to my spot, so I'm a little worried about SI. I will also have to act quickly once I start to climb the rail as there will likely be other people around. But maybe this will help with the SI as there will be very little time to think about it. There's no way I want to risk being stopped because then I will be held in a psych ward and I fear that more than anything.

I just thought of one thing:
What if once near the edge, instead of jumping or relaxing our muscles so that gravity does its thing, we used one of these self-defense tasers? It's supposed to leave you (depending on the power) quite incapacitated, right?

My search for a weapon has been fruitless and suddenly this occurred to me. Goodbye YES and regret, cramp in the neck and end of the discussion... what do you think?

 

[mintgreendolphin]

Hi again. So another thing I am curious about: can a person ensure they land on their head/back/stomach? I ask because in the videos I've seen, some people start spinning in the air while others actually fall straight down in the direction they jumped off. Does this mean there's an optimal way to jump so that gravity doesn't make you spin in the air?

 

[Onelegman]

Hi again. So another thing I am curious about: can a person ensure they land on their head/back/stomach? I ask because in the videos I've seen, some people start spinning in the air while others actually fall straight down in the direction they jumped off. Does this mean there's an optimal way to jump so that gravity doesn't make you spin in the air?

Big question. This is what has stopped me the most, and that is that I cannot stand when I jump.

It all has to do with physics, which I know nothing about. But watching enough videos you can notice some things. For example, people who jump standing, say jumping forward, usually end up landing on their feet or on their butts, I suppose because the speed forces them to raise their legs. It didn't happen to me and I landed with both feet.

People who jump prone, jumping forward with force, end up falling in that position because the surface where the wind hits is very large, similar to a parachute, so, if the air comes to you from below, it somehow balances you. by offering your body so much resistance.

Then there are the head ones, of which I haven't seen too many. I suppose the trick here is to do it as straight as possible, like when doing it standing up, but of course, here the inertia begins to appear. If an adequate angle is not achieved, let's say, less than 35º, the legs and belly, which are quite heavy although it may not seem like it, will begin to go forward, and may begin to turn, the more force when launching, the faster it can happen. One idea is to jump like when you jump into the pool head first. I saw a Russian jump running out of the window like that and he landed on his head and then his chest, belly...

And then there is free mode so to speak. Of any posture, falling forward or backward, the best example I saw was of a man at the Golden Gate who, standing completely, fell backwards. The inertia caused him to start spinning from his feet, and ended up with his head down. The problem was the distance, in the video you could see almost the entire fall, and in the end he ended up spinning strangely and it seemed like he ended up falling on his side. Of course, the higher one jumps, the more options there are for inertia to do its thing, in this case the man was almost from the beginning with his head looking at the sea, perhaps the strong winds or the force accumulated by doing it straight in every moment made it end up spinning.

Since I will do it from a window, I can't stand up, jump headlong like in the pool or lying down. I thought a lot about lying on the windowsill (I think that's how they say it) and from there, crawling until the weight of my torso made me look down, but since my torso weighs more than my legs, I think that inertia would make my legs lift. force, or speed when leaving the window and would end up spinning.

Then I thought about staying very, very stiff, like a stick, sticking out my body as much as possible and thanks to the clothes, whatever was not outside would slide with the weight of the body towards the head-down position, even pushing myself with my hands when I was standing. As parallel as possible with my head to the ground. But I simply don't dare, I can't practice something like that on a sofa, table or bed because I would end up breaking my neck or something in my arm by instinctively protecting myself by putting my hands in front of my face. You would only have one try and it is too risky to fail. Surely I would end up opening my eyes to see the angle to let go or check if I am going as I should.

So I came to the conclusion that what I would do was sit on the windowsill with my back to the patio, with my body at 90º, legs almost straight, and let myself fall back on my back. If I'm lucky and maintain the posture, perhaps the resistance that my back will make to the air will keep me there long enough to fall into said posture or at least head first, that is in the best of cases. If my conclusion is wrong, (most likely) I will start to turn a little and end up upside down but at 90º. And in the worst case scenario, if I build up too much force, I will spin and end up landing on my foot again. And then I don't know what would happen... That is the biggest fear, surviving, with a titanium bar in the femur the result could be very grotesque or will it protect me from injury? I have no idea. I like to think that my head will still take a beating, if I go unconscious it would be ideal while I lose blood, it would be like dying in my sleep. But better if the blow splits my head like a watermelon.

I don't think I have helped you at all with my examples, but if you have seen videos you will surely have noticed what I have mentioned. But at higher altitudes, the chances of turning increase the further distance you travel, or so I deduce.

 

[mintgreendolphin]

@Onelegman
Thank you for the in-depth response(s) it is actually VERY helpful to me (and I think many others reading as well. You have clearly put a lot of thought and consideration into this method which is why I felt like asking you and others in this thread questions so thank you once again for sharing on the matter.

 

[black and white]

The best would be to dive like in water, head first and put your arms along the body, but let's be honnest: it already requires a serious courage to jump from a certain height, trying to kill yourself. so i doubt this kind of dive head first would be possible to execute.
So we're forced to act depending two points: 1) the chosen spot, depending it we have to jump or let it go, eventually in a certain sarting position; 2)we are also forced to choose what could be the most easy for us to execute (like backward, eyes closed) because SI is very strong so making it even more complicated with a super precise sporty jump is unrealistic.

This is also why, many people do advise very very big height. because over 130-140ft/40m and landing on concrete, no matter how you fall even leg first, you will die instantly. No matter if you spin, or this or that you will arrive at a speed that gives no chance to the human body to survive.

So trying to consider the fall itself, is kind of useless. As onelegman said, it's alsmot impossible to predict. And we are confronted to SI first of all, so trying to theorize about the fall itself is kind of secondary unfortunately. Thinking for days about that way to fall, when it's actualy very difficult to make the jump, is useless.

That's the only why some people prefer do it on the biggest height possible, with a very close to 100% chance of instantaneous death. But the human body is kind of fragile. 65ft/20m makes you arrive at 70kmh/45mph; for a human body without any protection it's very serious. At this speed in a car it's already very dangerous and the car is supposed to protect you.

That's why personally i will just fall backward the most simply possible. At worst i will fall on the back in a lying position which would be sufficient to expose the head. Maybe the inertia will be enough to make me lean even more to the head...

 

[Onelegman]

The best would be to dive like in water, head first and put your arms along the body, but let's be honnest: it already requires a serious courage to jump from a certain height, trying to kill yourself. so i doubt this kind of dive head first would be possible to execute.
So we're forced to act depending two points: 1) the chosen spot, depending it we have to jump or let it go, eventually in a certain sarting position; 2)we are also forced to choose what could be the most easy for us to execute (like backward, eyes closed) because SI is very strong so making it even more complicated with a super precise sporty jump is unrealistic.

This is also why, many people do advise very very big height. because over 130-140ft/40m and landing on concrete, no matter how you fall even leg first, you will die instantly. No matter if you spin, or this or that you will arrive at a speed that gives no chance to the human body to survive.

So trying to consider the fall itself, is kind of useless. As onelegman said, it's alsmot impossible to predict. And we are confronted to SI first of all, so trying to theorize about the fall itself is kind of secondary unfortunately. Thinking for days about that way to fall, when it's actualy very difficult to make the jump, is useless.

That's the only why some people prefer do it on the biggest height possible, with a very close to 100% chance of instantaneous death. But the human body is kind of fragile. 65ft/20m makes you arrive at 70kmh/45mph; for a human body without any protection it's very serious. At this speed in a car it's already very dangerous and the car is supposed to protect you.

That's why personally i will just fall backward the most simply possible. At worst i will fall on the back in a lying position which would be sufficient to expose the head. Maybe the inertia will be enough to make me lean even more to the head...

Nothing to add. Impossible to fall the way we want, impossible to predict.

I couldn't endure such a long fall, even knowing it would be fatal. I had been fine for a couple of days and today the SI came back, my hands are sweaty and I'm uncertain. But reading you relieves me a lot, it brings me back to reality, 20 meters should be enough head first or not, the key is not to be found quickly.

One point that I thought about, the ground, if it is cold and we lose heat, would make the heart pump the blood faster and thus more and more will come out. Mine is already bordering on cynicism hahaha

 

[nitrixe]

Best Locations:
Golden Gate (98% of jumpers die)
I live near the bay area and just last year they put up nets to prevent people from jumping.

I live near the bay area and just this year they put up nets to prevent people from jumping.

 

[black and white]

Nothing to add. Impossible to fall the way we want, impossible to predict.

I couldn't endure such a long fall, even knowing it would be fatal. I had been fine for a couple of days and today the SI came back, my hands are sweaty and I'm uncertain. But reading you relieves me a lot, it brings me back to reality, 20 meters should be enough head first or not, the key is not to be found quickly.

One point that I thought about, the ground, if it is cold and we lose heat, would make the heart pump the blood faster and thus more and more will come out. Mine is already bordering on cynicism hahaha

I'm also afraid bro, i don't really know why, to face the unknown or just the instinct??? Something like this because i have no doubt in my decision and i don't really care about the after, even if i survive and be a cripple i would escape this modern slavery system, this would be a good point and i'm fine with this eventuality.. So where comes this fear? i don't really know, it's kind of deep, unrational at some point. That's why i guess this idea of survival instinct explains it well. Usually i feel stronger and determined during the day, even thinking things like "nothing complicated, one second of courage, it's easy i will do it"; and then the evenning comes and things changes. I feel anguish coming up etc. Thing is my situation is now in a condition that the sooner the better. I even don't have any more money to eat something or smoke a cigarette. I've been homeless for 2 years and a half when i was 19 to 21 and don't want to live that again etc. I hope all this bad situation, no way out, no futur will help me. Even if i have this kind of panic feeling and don't jump, like other times, i think i will do meditation to calm down, and try it again etc... let's see. I can't say when. I don't think planning is a good thing for me. It just puts pressure. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow or in three days? I don't know but i have to make it, i have to succeed.

 

[Onelegman]

I'm also afraid bro, i don't really know why, to face the unknown or just the instinct??? Something like this because i have no doubt in my decision and i don't really care about the after, even if i survive and be a cripple i would escape this modern slavery system, this would be a good point and i'm fine with this eventuality.. So where comes this fear? i don't really know, it's kind of deep, unrational at some point. That's why i guess this idea of survival instinct explains it well. Usually i feel stronger and determined during the day, even thinking things like "nothing complicated, one second of courage, it's easy i will do it"; and then the evenning comes and things changes. I feel anguish coming up etc. Thing is my situation is now in a condition that the sooner the better. I even don't have any more money to eat something or smoke a cigarette. I've been homeless for 2 years and a half when i was 19 to 21 and don't want to live that again etc. I hope all this bad situation, no way out, no futur will help me. Even if i have this kind of panic feeling and don't jump, like other times, i think i will do meditation to calm down, and try it again etc... let's see. I can't say when. I don't think planning is a good thing for me. It just puts pressure. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow or in three days? I don't know but i have to make it, i have to succeed.

I guess it's both, the unknown of not knowing what will happen or what awaits on the other side. In this I have something to say, and it is that during the first operation my heart stopped several times, I was in an induced coma and despite this, I know that the brain is active, because it was summer and the heat gives me nightmares , I dreamed very strange things. But to the point, I think when my heart stopped I experienced a hint of the other side. It was complete darkness, it wasn't scary at all, and I felt a peace... oh man, I'm sure no drug, landscape or woman could come close to giving me the same peace. The fullest happiness, the most absolute peace, death embraced me with such sweetness that it was impossible to say no to that.

Returning to the topic, it is also instinct, you have to have an altered mind to deliberately stick a fork in your hand, be sane and tell every corner of your brain what is going to happen, it makes it alert, it is inevitable. I suppose fear comes from the small traces of the reptilian brain we possess, or from anywhere else in the long evolutionary process we experience.

A hard life, yours is very hard. I also have the reason of modern society as an excuse to do this, if this is life, I don't want it, simple as that. I envy people who have the courage to live it, to find any nonsense to fight for, but in my being I feel that my idea is better, to stop suffering every event, day and experience.

That kills me, having a specific day to do it, it's like seeing a train coming towards you. Not being able to get away because you know you'll get back on track. You will get it, we will get it, you just have to leave your mind blank for 1 second to go for it. Storm of thoughts during the fall (which will help you not think about the other thing) and then... then that immense happiness of not having electrical impulses anymore.

 

[black and white]

I guess it's both, the unknown of not knowing what will happen or what awaits on the other side. In this I have something to say, and it is that during the first operation my heart stopped several times, I was in an induced coma and despite this, I know that the brain is active, because it was summer and the heat gives me nightmares , I dreamed very strange things. But to the point, I think when my heart stopped I experienced a hint of the other side. It was complete darkness, it wasn't scary at all, and I felt a peace... oh man, I'm sure no drug, landscape or woman could come close to giving me the same peace. The fullest happiness, the most absolute peace, death embraced me with such sweetness that it was impossible to say no to that.

Returning to the topic, it is also instinct, you have to have an altered mind to deliberately stick a fork in your hand, be sane and tell every corner of your brain what is going to happen, it makes it alert, it is inevitable. I suppose fear comes from the small traces of the reptilian brain we possess, or from anywhere else in the long evolutionary process we experience.

A hard life, yours is very hard. I also have the reason of modern society as an excuse to do this, if this is life, I don't want it, simple as that. I envy people who have the courage to live it, to find any nonsense to fight for, but in my being I feel that my idea is better, to stop suffering every event, day and experience.

That kills me, having a specific day to do it, it's like seeing a train coming towards you. Not being able to get away because you know you'll get back on track. You will get it, we will get it, you just have to leave your mind blank for 1 second to go for it. Storm of thoughts during the fall (which will help you not think about the other thing) and then... then that immense happiness of not having electrical impulses anymore.

as our brain and body have instincts about life, there are also automatisms when death is coming. In case of death, the brain can release different kind of chemical to ease the process and make us at peace...

So there are two sides of the same coin, for as long as possible, we are blocked to not provoke death, but when death is on its way, the brain can make it easier...

 

[Onelegman]

Así como nuestro cerebro y nuestro cuerpo tienen instintos sobre la vida, también existen automatismos cuando se acerca la muerte. En caso de muerte, el cerebro puede liberar diferentes tipos de sustancias químicas para facilitar el proceso y hacernos sentir en paz...

Entonces hay dos caras de una misma moneda, durante el mayor tiempo posible, estamos bloqueados para no provocar la muerte, pero cuando la muerte está en camino, el cerebro puede facilitarla...

It's true, the brain is wonderful in many ways. When you notice the time, it fills you with substances of happiness.

That last one sounds great, I hope in the fall they hurry up to pour out the best from the winery.