Venting Just thoughts

[kapa]

It's always there. In good and bad the feeling I'm not worthy of living it's always there. Maybe I got it from my mother who constantly reminded me I ruined her life. Who regrets having me. Maybe I'm just broken. I feel like a burden, but here I am to afraid to ctb. I feel like alien, like a nobody, like I don't belong anywhere. Through the years I had hope in me left now I push away relationships with people because I just don't want to be here. I can't even enjoy the good things anymore.

 

[somewhatdeadly]

your worthy of living just by being alive right now but is life in general worth living? idrk

 

[seppuku404]

I feel you. the things that distracted us and made us a little happy don't feel good anymore. that feeling of deeply loneliness and worthlessness remains there even on supposed happy moments. As you said even in relationships that feeling of being worthless prevails. I wish I could ctb too

 

[kapa]

your worthy of living just by being alive right now but is life in general worth living? idrk

This is the question keeping me awake at night

I feel you. the things that distracted us and made us a little happy don't feel good anymore. that feeling of deeply loneliness and worthlessness remains there even on supposed happy moments. As you said even in relationships that feeling of being worthless prevails. I wish I could ctb too

I wish it was easy just fall asleep and never wake up and just disappear

 

[hippiedeath]

I feel the same way. I just want to never wake up again.

Sleep is the greatest gift.

 

[kapa]

Sleep is the greatest gift.

Yeah if you can sleep

 

[eupdplishlp]

It's always there. In good and bad the feeling I'm not worthy of living it's always there. Maybe I got it from my mother who constantly reminded me I ruined her life. Who regrets having me. Maybe I'm just broken. I feel like a burden, but here I am to afraid to ctb. I feel like alien, like a nobody, like I don't belong anywhere. Through the years I had hope in me left now I push away relationships with people because I just don't want to be here. I can't even enjoy the good things anymore.

i feel like alien toolike theres no path for me to go down in society. Im a trans male, eupd and adhd. woudl you feel comfortable sharing what makes you feel alien? on here the aliens unite. I think we can all admit aliens are way cooler than humans anyway

 

[kapa]

i feel like alien toolike theres no path for me to go down in society. Im a trans male, eupd and adhd. woudl you feel comfortable sharing what makes you feel alien? on here the aliens unite. I think we can all admit aliens are way cooler than humans anyway

I feel like I see the world deferent. I can't understand the majority of people and their beliefs seem shallow to me. Sometimes I've been called to cruel for my options, others way to sensitive. Mostly people are blind for many things and this drives me crazy. Through the years I've try to "fit in" and always have that feeling like I'm an alien.

 

[eupdplishlp]

I feel like I see the world deferent. I can't understand the majority of people and their beliefs seem shallow to me. Sometimes I've been called to cruel for my options, others way to sensitive. Mostly people are blind for many things and this drives me crazy. Through the years I've try to "fit in" and always have that feeling like I'm an alien.

Opinions are only cruel if it's to do with hurting someone and I think in your heart you know that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

No mother should make her child feel that way. Sometimes, I wish these sorts of circumstances would lead someone to feel anger outwards, rather than self hatred. In term of an indignant insistance that you are alive and deserve to be. Maybe that wouldn't do any favours either though. Feeling anger outwards or inwards isn't nice. Parents like that anger me though.

 

[eupdplishlp]

No mother should make her child feel that way. Sometimes, I wish these sorts of circumstances would lead someone to feel anger outwards, rather than self hatred. In term of an indignant insistance that you are alive and deserve to be. Maybe that wouldn't do any favours either though. Feeling anger outwards or inwards isn't nice. Parents like that anger me though.

my therpist said the majority of mental health comes fromt the relationship between mother and child. Mothers affect our mental health more so thn fathers scientifically that is. The awareness in the first message where you reflect if could be from your mother, I wouldn't be surprised at all.