• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block.

H

hmnow

Member
Jul 29, 2025
12
I am curious if anyone else feels like killing themselves but has no objective reason to do it.

Just the desire to end it.

I have had no trauma, abuse, chronic illness, or disability. Never had any substantive mental health condition and live in a caring, loving home

Yet there it is, I am always thinking I have chosen to end my life - maybe just to explore death (if that is even possible)

I don't think so much about being dead, just how it feels to die.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Redacted24, Forever Sleep, Nefer and 3 others
takuyablackbox

takuyablackbox

[ should've been born a deer ]
Feb 19, 2025
21
i don't think you really need a "reason" to ctb, i think we tend to attribute contexts and reasons to it to make sense of it and make it have meaning, but it doesn't really matter. no one can say for certain whether or not death is the end. it is apart of all of our journeys, some of us just wanna skip the filler and get to the point.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Redacted24, Amviii, Nobodi and 1 other person
F

Foxcompany2nd3rd

Member
Jul 24, 2025
59
Ah, this is a question of people with a broken spirit. You are asking why the well-fed soul can still feel starved, why the sheltered heart can be touched by a profound sorrow and emptiness.

The spirit is not as a simple vessel to be filled, but as a vast and complex garden. You have tended to the outer layers with great care: the soil of your physical well-being is rich, the sun of your loving home shines upon you, and the weeds of trauma and illness have been kept at bay. On the surface, the garden is a picture of perfect health.

Yet, a garden is not defined solely by what grows in the sun. It is also shaped by the unseen roots. Your depression, this persistent shadow, is a sign of a deeper layer of your being that longs for nourishment. You have fed your body and mind, but not your spirit.

In a world that values constant doing and achieving, we are often taught to cultivate the outward garden—the career, the possessions, the social status. We believe that if we have enough of these, inner peace will naturally follow. But the soul and spirit is not fueled by these things. It thirsts for purpose, for connection to something larger than the self, for a sense of meaning that transcends the mundane.

This feeling you describe is not a flaw in your character, but a signal from your soul. Just as a cough or dry throat is a signal or symptom of a coming cold/flu. It is asking you to turn inward, and feed your soul/spirit. Perhaps your spirit is starving and thirsty for a different kind of nourishment, one that comes from service to others, from creative expression, or from a quiet contemplation of the mysteries of existence.

Your soul is revealing to you that a life of comfort is not the same as a life of fulfillment. Maybe that the richness of life is found not in what we have, but in who we are becoming.

As for me, my troubles reach much deeper, as every part of my being is rotten, my body, mind, and spirit is affected. For you, it seems your spirit is starving for something...

I often see people here that post about having the picture-perfect life on the outside, but within - their souls and spirits are starving.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Informative
  • Yay!
Reactions: Redacted24, Nobodi and naookoo128
A

alwaysalone

Specialist
May 14, 2025
332
I think everyone has a reason. It's just that some reasons are more understandable than others. Almost everyone would say "well it's understandable..." for someone witha terminal illness. Especially if that illness will eventually lead to a lot of pain or loss of faculties. But most of the public would also say" a break up isn't a reason to kill yourself..." but for some it is
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Redacted24 and Nobodi
Nobodi

Nobodi

Student
Sep 24, 2024
110
Ah, this is a question of people with a broken spirit. You are asking why the well-fed soul can still feel starved, why the sheltered heart can be touched by a profound sorrow and emptiness.

The spirit is not as a simple vessel to be filled, but as a vast and complex garden. You have tended to the outer layers with great care: the soil of your physical well-being is rich, the sun of your loving home shines upon you, and the weeds of trauma and illness have been kept at bay. On the surface, the garden is a picture of perfect health.

Yet, a garden is not defined solely by what grows in the sun. It is also shaped by the unseen roots. Your depression, this persistent shadow, is a sign of a deeper layer of your being that longs for nourishment. You have fed your body and mind, but not your spirit.

In a world that values constant doing and achieving, we are often taught to cultivate the outward garden—the career, the possessions, the social status. We believe that if we have enough of these, inner peace will naturally follow. But the soul and spirit is not fueled by these things. It thirsts for purpose, for connection to something larger than the self, for a sense of meaning that transcends the mundane.

This feeling you describe is not a flaw in your character, but a signal from your soul. Just as a cough or dry throat is a signal or symptom of a coming cold/flu. It is asking you to turn inward, and feed your soul/spirit. Perhaps your spirit is starving and thirsty for a different kind of nourishment, one that comes from service to others, from creative expression, or from a quiet contemplation of the mysteries of existence.

Your soul is revealing to you that a life of comfort is not the same as a life of fulfillment. Maybe that the richness of life is found not in what we have, but in who we are becoming.

As for me, my troubles reach much deeper, as every part of my being is rotten, my body, mind, and spirit is affected. For you, it seems your spirit is starving for something...

I often see people here that post about having the picture-perfect life on the outside, but within their souls and spirits are starving.
Nice, really well said. I like this description alot
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Redacted24 and Foxcompany2nd3rd
Gustav Hartmann

Gustav Hartmann

Enlightened
Aug 28, 2021
1,151
I don't think so much about being dead, just how it feels to die.
You will know it anyhow sooner or later. Most likely you will be unconscious when you die and will not experience anything about the process of dying. And even if you would experience anything of this process, you will most likely not be able to remember your experience, because there will be nothing left that could remember anything. And isn´t an event you cannot remember like it has never happened?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redacted24
PI3.14

PI3.14

what is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider
Oct 4, 2024
173
I think there is always a reason. I'm talking about seriously considering suicide and not just a passing thought.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AreWeWinning and Redacted24
NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
478
There's a reason, but it feels difficult to put into words
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: AreWeWinning and Redacted24
ElTopo

ElTopo

Don't listen to me, I am drunk
Mar 30, 2025
135
I am curious if anyone else feels like killing themselves but has no objective reason to do it.

Just the desire to end it.

I have had no trauma, abuse, chronic illness, or disability. Never had any substantive mental health condition and live in a caring, loving home

Yet there it is, I am always thinking I have chosen to end my life - maybe just to explore death (if that is even possible)

I don't think so much about being dead, just how it feels to die.
Have you thought that maybe you don't know the reason. Like there's an objective reason you feel like that but you consciously don't know why?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Redacted24
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,478
Maybe it's just as much about not having a reason to live though. Life requires effort. Usually quite a bit of it. If we can't see the point, isn't that a reason of itself? As in- why am I putting up with all this shit? Doesn't need to be horrifically bad. Maybe someone just doesn't enjoy the neverending cycle of chores required to sustain life.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: NonEssential, Dante_, NoDeathNoFear and 1 other person
Apathy79

Apathy79

Elementalist
Oct 13, 2019
866
We'll all get to explore death eventually. I think you'd want a pretty good reason to avoid exploring life first.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Redacted24

Similar threads

dreamingofpeace
Replies
0
Views
133
Suicide Discussion
dreamingofpeace
dreamingofpeace
PurpleDeranged
Replies
5
Views
328
Suicide Discussion
eupdplishlp
eupdplishlp