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ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
381
I could probably look this up here, but I'm in a bit if a tizz at the moment. Earlier this week I was still somewhat on the fence about this, but today I am confident it's what I need to do. Looking through bags of things from my old flat, I found a birthday card he wrote me, and I crumbled again. I can't survive in this world.

So, anyone who has followed my ramblings on here knows that my chosen method is SN. I have everything sorted - AEs, painkillers, a hotel room, my notes are written. What I need to know now is how likely is this to succeed assuming I follow the protocol? My SN is sourced from DMC. I am around 60kg (132lbs), so I doubt it would take much SN to take me out. I need this to work. If I fail, people around me will be watching my actions a lot more closely, I won't be able to get away to a hotel on my own, let alone get random packages from abroad. My only backup in that case would be partial hanging, but since this is what killed my partner, reading about the method makes me feel sick.

I know there's likely no concrete answer, but what are my general chances? I need to be reassured that this will send me away for good.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: rozeske
deadbidaylight

deadbidaylight

And the sun will set for you
Feb 27, 2025
401
From the sounds of it, you've got everything covered. If you're following protocol, you will 100% succeed. Even if you don't, you only need SN for it to be successful. It's a pretty one and done method from what I've read. Make sure you're 100% set on dying if you ingest it because even folks who have panicked and called an ambulance after taking it have died. There's not a lot of time if you change your mind.

I'm really sorry that you're in so much pain and lost your partner to suicide as well. I can't imagine the anguish you must be feeling after that. I hate that you're ready to leave us, but also understand and sympathize.

I haven't been here long but I've really valued your comments and inputs on here; my own threads and otherwise. I really hope that you will officially say goodbye before you go so we can all say farewell to you properly. You're valued here, and won't be forgotten ❤️
 
  • Love
Reactions: rozeske and ForeverCaHa
ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
381
From the sounds of it, you've got everything covered. If you're following protocol, you will 100% succeed. Even if you don't, you only need SN for it to be successful. It's a pretty one and done method from what I've read. Make sure you're 100% set on dying if you ingest it because even folks who have panicked and called an ambulance after taking it have died. There's not a lot of time if you change your mind.

I'm really sorry that you're in so much pain and lost your partner to suicide as well. I can't imagine the anguish you must be feeling after that. I hate that you're ready to leave us, but also understand and sympathize.

I haven't been here long but I've really valued your comments and inputs on here; my own threads and otherwise. I really hope that you will officially say goodbye before you go so we can all say farewell to you properly. You're valued here, and won't be forgotten ❤️
Strangers on the internet need to stop making me cry lol :heart:

But yeah, the fact that I'm still set on it even after having eaten tells me it's time (usually when I'm not hungry I don't feel the urge, don't know if that's common?). It's a pain like I can't describe. I feel cruel inflicting it on those around me, but the regret and guilt are eating me from the inside out.

I've been considering whether or not to do a "goodbye thread", but I probably will on the day. I've still got one month left, so plenty of time before that anyway.

Thanks for the reassurance! (The cat in your profile photo is also super cute by the way!!😻😻)
 
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grapevoid

grapevoid

Mage
Jan 30, 2025
529
SN has a pretty high reliability rate so long as you don't panic and get help.

I don't think I saw in your post, will you be using benzos in your protocol?
 
ForeverCaHa

ForeverCaHa

Heartbroken Welshman
Feb 16, 2025
381
SN has a pretty high reliability rate so long as you don't panic and get help.

I don't think I saw in your post, will you be using benzos in your protocol?
Benzos are the one thing I'm not going to be able to get ahold of. I know they would help with the calming effect, and not having them does slightly worry me, but it can't be helped
 
grapevoid

grapevoid

Mage
Jan 30, 2025
529
Benzos are the one thing I'm not going to be able to get ahold of. I know they would help with the calming effect, and not having them does slightly worry me, but it can't be helped
Ah, I ran into this as well when my doctor switched my medication. I'm waiting out until my next appt so I can try to get them. I was only asking because pph says they make you unconscious faster. I'm relatively worried about panicking and getting help personally, though I know that won't apply to everyone.
 
amomentspeace

amomentspeace

Student
Mar 2, 2025
135
I could probably look this up here, but I'm in a bit if a tizz at the moment. Earlier this week I was still somewhat on the fence about this, but today I am confident it's what I need to do. Looking through bags of things from my old flat, I found a birthday card he wrote me, and I crumbled again. I can't survive in this world.
If you're ever doubtful again don't hesitate to reach out !! Good luck, wishing you the best
 
C

cooked825

Member
Feb 21, 2025
16
As above good luck and all the best and only move forward if 100 percent it's what you want to do
 

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