“Lucked” out not sure how to proceed

[LostinTime24]

I've made a few posts on here citing money as a major desire to CTB and it's a common thing I see posted on here from other people on why they need to follow through with their desire.

I work full time now and can keep it together and I'm able to live relatively comfortably I don't travel etc but no worries with rent or medical bills etc.

I really thought if money issue was solved things would be better but I still find myself on here reading other people's stories and relating to them alot. I still have hallucinations and other problems and I still can't help but feel in just delaying the inevitable.

In real life if I were to try and explain the reality of certain Illness and the likelihood of being able to maintain a relationship or friendships I'd be sent to a hospital and ironically lose my job and be right back to where I started about a year ago now.

I just don't see a light at the end of tunnel I'm not uncomfortable with life like I was in months prior but the writing is on the wall it's more then likely just gonna be me myself and I until I die.

It's this feeling of no point in saying anything and taking yourself out which is where I've been at for 2 months now felt better about my situation for about a week and reality hit again. Not sure what the point of this post is if anyone else feels the same would mean a lot to hear.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

As long as you're happy and content with where your life is heading right now, you could be on the right path to stop thinking of suicide.

I don't have money issues either, as I have a well paying job, but the 9 to 5 lifestyle just doesn't keep me motivated enough to continue.

I don't talk to anyone, I hate when people call me(as a matter of fact, I hate people), and I hate when people ask me how my day is going.

I pretty much keep myself in the dark. It's the way I like it, and want to keep it that way.

I wish you the best on your decisions, and hope your future gets brighter.