Story me and my SI makes good playwrights

[little helpers]

I got a laugh out of this. the amount of drama involved in (my own attempts at) hanging. take a look what I wrote to my dear diary:

fuck. 's like, I REALLY fucking wanna go commit suicide RIGHT NOW but, the rational part of my head just knows I got no chance completing a partial. NO fucking CHANCE of completion. gotta *have to* wait. and wait, and wait. HOW MUCH longer is it gonna be? no idea.
and I can't really just "try it out". cuz failing attempts is very, very, deeply frustrating. where I have such a high chance failing partial. you'd have no fucking energy for a second one for DAYS, if not weeks. and feel real fucking pathetic afterwards that you practically delay your own death even more.
fuck it. "fuck" is literally the only word I wanna say rn. fuck.

I wouldn't rate SN as "more peaceful" (cuz let's face it, hanging is BRUTAL), but at least with SN you didn't suffer for nothing, you know. hanging is like "fuck this, let's go up there" and then "AHHHHHHHH can't breathe!!!! FUUUUUUCK gasping gasping gasping but I wanna die I wanna die I wanna die SO BADLY!! wtf is going on why is my body moving on its own?????!" and your SI screaming "GET OFF from that FUCKING NOOSE or I'm making you PUKE". your brain then acts on a calculated decision, colluded with an instinct for survival and pain-aversion, and you can't fucking hang yourself no matter HOW PERSISTENT you try with it. of course, bad noose tying/material goes a lot into this. as with generalized anxiety. but 's just so goddamn easy to back out or fail. partial, that is.

so. I find hanging very ironically dramatic. anyone feel the same 'bout this?

 

[GentleJerk]

There's no such thing as too dramatic when it comes to that!

I don't know if this little thread counts as method discussion, but I will say that personally there is no way I could do what you're talking about. I just don't have what it takes and how people manage to pull it off is beyond me. Some insane amount of strong will I suppose.

 

[FuneralCry]

Of course suicide is very difficult as we are programmed to survive, nobody should have to resort to methods like hanging, we all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. For me hanging is the most accessible method, but I do have the fear of failure. It does sound very unpleasant as well. I understand your frustrations, more than anything I wish it was easier to exit. I wish you the best.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I was in a similar position once. And when SI kicks in I think it's Impossible to override it… Not sure how people accomplish this

 

[Crazy4u]

Hanging can be easier if you watch many videos. There are websites that show CTB by hanging (e.g. theync). I have to warn you: the comments on ctb videos are GROSS. I don't recommend you read them

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Your post was almost poetic. Do you write?

I understand your sentiments. Partial uses to be my first choice until I discovered SN. Now partial is my backup. SN scares me a little, but partial definitely scares me more. I have watched some videos, though. Some people seem strangely peaceful through it.

 

[little helpers]

Your post was almost poetic. Do you write?

I understand your sentiments. Partial uses to be my first choice until I discovered SN. Now partial is my backup. SN scares me a little, but partial definitely scares me more. I have watched some videos, though. Some people seem strangely peaceful through it.

sorry 'bout the late reply. I know my post got moved here but couldn't access this subforum until today. I want to say thanks to everyone on this thread for your support and the information.

yeah I can't really say if SN or hanging scares me more either. to me it's odd how people claim to pass out after just 15 seconds, with partial hanging. I tested the inmate's hanging trick the other day. still pretty fucked up IMO. but it do be somewhat of an enhancement. the "kick the chair" type is too fucking much. only reason why I'm so hang up on hanging is becuz it's fast, and readily available.

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a writer. heck, I barely even read proper books these days. though I write lyrics, poetry and stuff.

 

[leavinghope]

I can totally relate with your experience. I have failed full suspension twice because the slipknot drops too much when closing around your neck. In my second attempt, even the goddamn fan got tilted and my parents found out. So I figured that instead of making the noose big enough to put my head through it and then jumping, I'll just tie it around my neck itself while standing on the chair and then kick it. But guess what, the fucking SI becomes impossible to overcome when I do that. It's so annoying. If I do it like I did it previously, I know that I'll just land on my feet again and if I do it like I am doing now, I just end up puking from fear. Hanging is hard. Both partial and full but for different reasons.

I have also considered drop hanging from my balcony but if my neck doesn't snap from the drop immediately, I'll get "saved" as a vegetable and who wouldn't love that. I am currently waiting for my SN to arrive. I hope it'll be easier.

 

[little helpers]

I can totally relate with your experience. I have failed full suspension twice because the slipknot drops too much when closing around your neck. In my second attempt, even the goddamn fan got tilted and my parents found out. So I figured that instead of making the noose big enough to put my head through it and then jumping, I'll just tie it around my neck itself while standing on the chair and then kick it. But guess what, the fucking SI becomes impossible to overcome when I do that. It's so annoying. If I do it like I did it previously, I know that I'll just land on my feet again and if I do it like I am doing now, I just end up puking from fear. Hanging is hard. Both partial and full but for different reasons.

I have also considered drop hanging from my balcony but if my neck doesn't snap from the drop immediately, I'll get "saved" as a vegetable and who wouldn't love that. I am currently waiting for my SN to arrive. I hope it'll be easier.

for fuck's sake I surely didn't understand these terms…only till a couple minutes ago. damn. so inmate's hanging is partial. where in the past I attempted full. think I mixed up partial n full with short drop, long drop.

hanging is a desperate method for sure. even if I don't chicken out there's a high chance of becoming a vegetable, like you said. only around 1/3 of hangings end in completion. which is one reason I'm also considering SN atm.