Venting Men can’t talk anymore and it’s the manosphere’s fault

[Ozzyno]

Nowadays if you dare to talk about how you are unhappy and hopeless about your dating life (as a man) you will be instantly included in a list of people that are literally the opposite of what you are. You will be shamed and called incel.

I've watched an hour video on YouTube made by this girl about the manosphere and a comment (the one with the most likes) made by another woman below this video has caught my attention: 'My uncle is muscular, earns six figures and owns a company, does manual labour around the house, he is my male role model'.

Literally 90% of those 'Alpha males' influencers are literally saying the same exact thing. They are telling men that they should be 'strong' and 'rich' because women value those two things as the only things that matter in a man. When women say this there is nothing you can do (rightfully, it's their opinion), but if you, as a man, say that women mostly look for money and superficial stuff, and that they will ghost you immediately once you try to open up and behave a little less like a Neanderthal creature and more like a person with emotions, you are immediately described as an incel misogynistic man.

The amount of brain rot from both sides is astounding, I won't even start to say what I think about women's decisions in the dating world because results speak for themselves (having a family nowadays is a complete luxury, not being cheated on is like winning the lottery). 'Alpha males' really go on about talking about having relationships with 50 women before 35 or absurdities like the woman doing everything at home maybe even in a situation where both work full time.

Are there regular people in the world? Are there people that would like to share their life with a person in a balanced relationship based on mutual respect, truthfulness and support? Did we really all become superficial women at one side and men with medieval mentality at the other?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I mean, in your case it's because whenever you do you always end up showing your misogynistic colours, not because you are a man.

For further context I direct you towards this mess of a thread:

What's the point in being here if a single person does not or cannot prioritize you.

Something I've been thinking about a lot over the past year and a half. What causes me sadness is not just the isolation - it's that not a single soul my entire life will, or can choose me. I had to go NC with abusive family, after I realized they are just enablers, abusive or apathetic to the...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Ozzyno]

I mean, in your case it's because whenever you do you always end up showing your misogynistic colours, not because you are a man.

For further context I direct you towards this mess of a thread:

What's the point in being here if a single person does not or cannot prioritize you.

Something I've been thinking about a lot over the past year and a half. What causes me sadness is not just the isolation - it's that not a single soul my entire life will, or can choose me. I had to go NC with abusive family, after I realized they are just enablers, abusive or apathetic to the...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Women's decisions prove my point. I've never met a woman in my life being interested in a man's mind.

The point is that there is no way to say that because you will be targeted by people like you. This doesn't make me an 'incel' or whatever pseudo insult you want to call me. If you dare to say that women are generally really superficial you are inside the same category as some idiot that cannot even make his own laundry and that wants HIS (as a property) woman being basically a sex slave for life. I'm the most independent man one could be, I've always treaded my partners as equal and I just don't see differences between men and women in today's society.

A lot of men want a balanced relationship and don't believe what those idiots on the internet say, the point is that you'll be instantly targeted as one right away.

 

[L'absent]

Today you are worth your CUD.

 

[Ozzyno]

Today you are worth your CUD.

Money, social status and looks.

My boss's son is a complete ignorant, he cannot even name the countries that border with ours, he stopped studying at the age of 15 yo.

Goes out, acts like an idiot (telling women strangers 'I want to fuck you' in pubs) and shows off his money (his father's money).

Guess who has a different girlfriend every two months…

Then people like @EvisceratedJester cry when I dare to say that women behave like animals. Literally setting up their lives to spend time with semi illiterate people…

Look also at music culture, what is it cool nowadays? People behaving like criminals, pointing guns, having cash money and having a big ego with a low self esteem. That's what I should do? I prefer to die before behaving like a chimpanzee.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's valid for either gender to feel disappointed that they don't seem to be attractive. It's also valid to feel annoyed about society pushing us to be attracted to stereotypes or become stereotypes.

I don't think all incels are misogynists. Some certainly are though. I definitely would have identified as a femcel growing up. I felt severely indequate. I don't think I hate men but, I don't trust them either in general!

I absolutely have my own bias that women have been expected to conform to stereotypes for decades already. I'm not actually convinced that it's actually swung in the opposite direction completely. Maybe it is more level now though.

But I think in either case, it's not that either gender can't pull anyone necessarily. It's that, the person they happen to feel attracted to- maybe because they are conforming to stereotypes- they're thin, athletic, attractive, wealthy, successful- maybe don't feel attracted to them. I think both sides can be guilty of saying- I'm not willing to put in anymore effort but- why isn't that attractive person attracted to me?

As for individuals. People go for all sorts. None of my friends are married to gym bunnies! None of the guys I've been attracted to have been all that musular or brutish! Lol. Only 2 out of 5 were tall too. The others were my height or, not much taller. Most have been reasonably well off though. I don't think it's the money that was attractive though. It was their sense of ambition. Their passion for what they did. That used to be important to me in myself so, I related to people better if they felt the same.

I think there are lots of reasons either gender rejects a potential partner though. I don't think it's just about stereotypical traits the whole time. If I'm honest, a lot of people who feel constantly rejected come across resentful, angry at the world, angry at people who might also reject them. I doubt that would be that comfortable to be around.

Can I ask you a personal question though please? Do you have a 'type' you are more attracted to? Or, is it truly all personality and connecting on a deep level? Are there certain types of women you would reject because of their age, weight or looks?

You mentioned your rich friend approaching women. I guess you mean in clubs and pubs? Not sure the people going to them are necessarily looking for depth and long-term relationships necessarily! Especially with a guy who tells them right of the bat that he wants to f*ck them! If you want substance, I imagine you might need to be targetting other types of women. (Women you might not feel so physically attracted to.)

Not all women are animals. Not all men are arseholes. Not all incels are misogynists. Not all feminists hate men. Not all women go for exactly the same types of men. Not all men go for exactly the same types of women.

I just think it's a lot of hard work though- to find a partner. A lot of risk.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

When you say women, do you mean young girls that are obsessed with social media and their looks? I am 35 years old and have never been this way.

I couldn't give a shit how much a man earns, how big his muscles are, or how tall he is, it is ridiculous. I have dated men with fuck all. It is my personal preference to have a man that has nothing to a man that has too much money than sense.

As you get older, you'll realise that the women that don't care are the ones to look for. Now, if you are into superficial women - the fake tits, botox, fillers, covered in layers make up - then YES, you will get women that are like that! Obviously.

I live in jeans, hoodies, trainers etc. I still take care of myself by doing my hair, brushing my lashes/brows, using lip balm, moisturiser and things, but I rarely wear make up, but I still look good in the clothes I wear. Most women are like this actually, if you bothered to look. If you're watching influencers you will get superficial people - men included!

Don't sit there and claim ALL women are superficial, because I am a woman and haven't met ONE in my life that is that way inclined, not one. Social media is fake as fuck, and I'm not on it. So is the Internet in general, and films etc, so if you're basing an entire sex on that, you couldn't be more wrong.

There is a lot of pressure on young girls, because they all think boys want girls to look like porn stars which is FAKE, so what do they do? Yeah.. try to look the same. A lot of men do like the fake look and then complain about it. I don't get it. You can't have a fake outer shell and expect the inside to be nice. Just like I'd never fuck nor date a fake man - again, fillers, botox, massive muscles etc. Men can be fake too, just like women can be. I was raised in a different generation though. I'm not obsessed with looking like a sex doll, nor would I ever want to look that disgusting, but each to their own. There's a lot of men on the Internet that have also had botox and other shit, but I know they're not like that really - I stay away from them. I have never fucked nor dated a fake man - I love the natural look.

In my opinion, it is important for men AND women to take care of themselves, and to be themselves, not worrying constantly about what society thinks. For example, I can't stand it if a man tries to pay for everything (never had it anyway, because I have never allowed it) - I would never ever let him, it should be balanced - you pay one time, I pay next or vice versa. I have enjoyed treating my man when I've been in relationships, it is a nice feeling. Relationships should be mutual and that goes for EVERYTHING - cleaning, cooking, sex etc.

Once again, if you bothered to look, you'll see most women are like myself, but some women act a certain way because they think that's what MEN WANT, and women are taught to only do what men want from a young age (and to protect yourself from men, because of how they objectify us, try to sexually attack us etc) - act a certain way, look a certain way, BE A LADY blah fucking blah - and it's worse than ever now because of Social media - but I say fuck that, be yourself. Who cares what anyone thinks.

Not everyone wants to be tied down to a relationship, myself included. I've only had relationships previously, because the men MADE IT HAPPEN, regardless of how I'd tell them it's not what I want. I've only had abusive relationships - does that mean ALL MEN are abusive? No. Just like not all abusive women are abusive. Stop putting us into a box for god sake, we are ALL DIFFERENT. Stop looking for the wrong type of woman. Work on yourself and how to speak to women, and hey presto! You'll find one. A decent one. Guarantee it. But until you change your attitude towards them, you won't get one. I can guarantee it. Sex or not.

Based on what you've said, you've based it on a handful of complete idiots you've come across on the Internet. Go and meet some women outside and talk to them - you know, real women... not shit you see online. Filters aren't real, shit people say online is fake. Get to know her as a person rather than (likely) objectifiying her. You will be called an incel if you have THIS particular view of women (read your post).

Your post is like saying "all men ___" you've said exactly the same about women. You sound really young, based on the words you use, so perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of woman. Go and talk to a woman, approach a woman (a normal looking one that isn't obsessed with her appearance), why use an app? You can be anyone online.

EDIT: I forgot to add something. The SEXIEST thing to me in a man is intelligence. To be able to have intelligent conversations, chat about life. The men I've dated and fucked have opened up to me which was really nice, it helps you to get to know a person more. I thoroughly enjoy intellectual conversations about life, the world, etc. I do miss having all night chats with men about things (with sex mixed it all night, of course). I've had some pretty amazing conversations over the years.

P.S I'm single because I WANT to be. I don't get easily attached, I just really enjoy being on my own, definitely enjoy being on my own too much. I don't enjoy people getting close to me, sex is meaningless so that's fine, but that's as far as I ever want it to go. Friends with benefits works for me, and nothing else. I don't care if people struggle to believe this for a woman- plenty of us out there!!!

Best of luck

 

[Ozzyno]

@Forever Sleep, thank you for your response. Yes you can ask me personal questions. I did reject some women because they were generally ignorant about the world and I cannot stand that. I rejected my ex girlfriend because she still smokes too much weed and I don't want to be in a relationship with a person that puts drugs ahead of everything else. I don't have high standards in term of looks, women tend to tell me that I am good looking, above average. When I got rejected I never understood why. A couple weeks ago me and a 29 yo girl that I knew for a long time kissed during a night out (we were not drunk) and I've made it clear that I wanted to see her again but she is not doing anything to make that a reality.

When you say women, do you mean young girls that are obsessed with social media and their looks? I am 35 years old and have never been this way.

I couldn't give a shit how much a man earns, how big his muscles are, or how tall he is, it is ridiculous. I have dated men with fuck all. It is my personal preference to have a man that has nothing to a man that has too much money than sense.

As you get older, you'll realise that the women that don't care are the ones to look for. Now, if you are into superficial women - the fake tits, botox, fillers, covered in layers make up - then YES, you will get women that are like that! Obviously.

I live in jeans, hoodies, trainers etc. I still take care of myself by doing my hair, brushing my lashes/brows, using lip balm, moisturiser and things, but I rarely wear make up, but I still look good in the clothes I wear. Most women are like this actually, if you bothered to look. If you're watching influencers you will get superficial people - men included!

Don't sit there and claim ALL women are superficial, because I am a woman and haven't met ONE in my life that is that way inclined, not one. Social media is fake as fuck, and I'm not on it. So is the Internet in general, and films etc, so if you're basing an entire sex on that, you couldn't be more wrong.

There is a lot of pressure on young girls, because they all think boys want girls to look like porn stars which is FAKE, so what do they do? Yeah.. try to look the same. A lot of men do like the fake look and then complain about it. I don't get it. You can't have a fake outer shell and expect the inside to be nice. Just like I'd never fuck nor date a fake man - again, fillers, botox, massive muscles etc. Men can be fake too, just like women can be. I was raised in a different generation though. I'm not obsessed with looking like a sex doll, nor would I ever want to look that disgusting, but each to their own. There's a lot of men on the Internet that have also had botox and other shit, but I know they're not like that really - I stay away from them. I have never fucked nor dated a fake man - I love the natural look.

In my opinion, it is important for men AND women to take care of themselves, and to be themselves, not worrying constantly about what society thinks. For example, I can't stand it if a man tries to pay for everything (never had it anyway, because I have never allowed it) - I would never ever let him, it should be balanced - you pay one time, I pay next or vice versa. I have enjoyed treating my man when I've been in relationships, it is a nice feeling. Relationships should be mutual and that goes for EVERYTHING - cleaning, cooking, sex etc.

Once again, if you bothered to look, you'll see most women are like myself, but some women act a certain way because they think that's what MEN WANT, and women are taught to only do what men want from a young age (and to protect yourself from men, because of how they objectify us, try to sexually attack us etc) - act a certain way, look a certain way, BE A LADY blah fucking blah - and it's worse than ever now because of Social media - but I say fuck that, be yourself. Who cares what anyone thinks.

Not everyone wants to be tied down to a relationship, myself included. I've only had relationships previously, because the men MADE IT HAPPEN, regardless of how I'd tell them it's not what I want. I've only had abusive relationships - does that mean ALL MEN are abusive? No. Just like not all abusive women are abusive. Stop putting us into a box for god sake, we are ALL DIFFERENT. Stop looking for the wrong type of woman. Work on yourself and how to speak to women, and hey presto! You'll find one. A decent one. Guarantee it. But until you change your attitude towards them, you won't get one. I can guarantee it. Sex or not.

Based on what you've said, you've based it on a handful of complete idiots you've come across on the Internet. Go and meet some women outside and talk to them - you know, real women... not shit you see online. Filters aren't real, shit people say online is fake. Get to know her as a person rather than (likely) objectifiying her. You will be called an incel if you have THIS particular view of women (read your post).

Your post is like saying "all men ___" you've said exactly the same about women. You sound really young, based on the words you use, so perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of woman. Go and talk to a woman, approach a woman (a normal looking one that isn't obsessed with her appearance), why use an app? You can be anyone online.

EDIT: I forgot to add something. The SEXIEST thing to me in a man is intelligence. To be able to have intelligent conversations, chat about life. The men I've dated and fucked have opened up to me which was really nice, it helps you to get to know a person more. I thoroughly enjoy intellectual conversations about life, the world, etc. I do miss having all night chats with men about things (with sex mixed it all night, of course). I've had some pretty amazing conversations over the years.

P.S I'm single because I WANT to be. I don't get easily attached, I just really enjoy being on my own, definitely enjoy being on my own too much. I don't enjoy people getting close to me, sex is meaningless so that's fine, but that's as far as I ever want it to go. Friends with benefits works for me, and nothing else. I don't care if people struggle to believe this for a woman- plenty of us out there!!!

Best of luck

I don't even have social media… I am 26, women I know around my age are exactly what you are describing. I don't like at all women who are into social media, the point is that I can't literally find one who's not. I am looking for a woman like you are describing yourself that's why I feel lonely. I could go out and find a relationship with an idiot but I don't want to. I want to be with a person like me…

 

[coolgal82]

I mean, in your case it's because whenever you do you always end up showing your misogynistic colours, not because you are a man.

For further context I direct you towards this mess of a thread:

What's the point in being here if a single person does not or cannot prioritize you.

Something I've been thinking about a lot over the past year and a half. What causes me sadness is not just the isolation - it's that not a single soul my entire life will, or can choose me. I had to go NC with abusive family, after I realized they are just enablers, abusive or apathetic to the...

sanctioned-suicide.net

lmfao ofc. saw this thread and went "hmm i kinda recognise this OP and this take seems kinda sus i wonder where i recognise them from"

every single time someone is like "waah men get branded as incels unfairly blah blah whatever other stuff" they always turn out to be an incel or incel adjacent. honestly the same happens with people that cry about anything like that, like mfs who go "damn you cant say anything without being branded transphobic nowadays" will then turn around and say "i dont think trans women are women", or mfs will go "people are so sensitive you get called racist for the smallest stuff" then say that black people are naturally less intelligent or all violent criminals or whatever

 

[WhiteRabbit]

You sound like an insufferable turd tbh. That could be the problem.

 

[Ozzyno]

lmfao ofc. saw this thread and went "hmm i kinda recognise this OP and this take seems kinda sus i wonder where i recognise them from"

every single time someone is like "waah men get branded as incels unfairly blah blah whatever other stuff" they always turn out to be an incel or incel adjacent. honestly the same happens with people that cry about anything like that, like mfs who go "damn you cant say anything without being branded transphobic nowadays" will then turn around and say "i dont think trans women are women", or mfs will go "people are so sensitive you get called racist for the smallest stuff" then say that black people are naturally less intelligent or all violent criminals or whatever

You are proving your level not only by the stupidity of your comment compared to mine, but also by your grammar considering this is your first language while this is my 5th.

You sound like an insufferable turd tbh. That could be the problem.

Insult there is no problem, you are just showing your level too, pretty pathetic ;)

 

[coolgal82]

You are proving your level not only by the stupidity of your comment compared to mine, but also by your grammar considering this is your first language while this is my 5th.

Insult there is no problem ;)

im ngl idc about grammar. the more you know english the more you should come to realise grammar isnt really important outside of official scenarios, and caring about it just makes you look like an annoying pedant and not smarter/better/cooler/etc (we literally invented the term "grammar nazi" for that kind of shit lmao.)

also nah i'm completely right

 

[Forever Sleep]

@Forever Sleep, thank you for your response. Yes you can ask me personal questions. I did reject some women because they were generally ignorant about the world and I cannot stand that. I rejected my ex girlfriend because she still smokes too much weed and I don't want to be in a relationship with a person that puts drugs ahead of everything else. I don't have high standards in term of looks, women tend to tell me that I am good looking, above average. When I got rejected I never understood why. A couple weeks ago me and a 29 yo girl that I knew for a long time kissed during a night out (we were not drunk) and I've made it clear that I wanted to see her again but she is not doing anything to make that a reality.

I don't even have social media… I am 26, women I know around my age are exactly what you are describing. I don't like at all women who are into social media, the point is that I can't literally find one who's not. I am looking for a woman like you are describing yourself that's why I feel lonely. I could go out and find a relationship with an idiot but I don't want to. I want to be with a person like me…

Fair enough. You do sound pretty open minded. Obviously, some things are going to be important to each of us to sustain a relationship.

Did you try to politely ask why they ended things when they have? They're going to know more than anyone else. It may not even be you specifically, maybe they just didn't want to be in a relationship at that point.

If I'm honest, I'm the worst person to try and advise on relationships having never been in one!

I suppose I do think it must be kind of rare to find someone you are comfortable with all the time. If they're the serious sort, they will be thinking long-term I imagine too. Could you see yourself being with them long-term?

 

[Ozzyno]

im ngl idc about grammar. the more you know english the more you should come to realise grammar isnt really important outside of official scenarios, and caring about it just makes you look like an annoying pedant and not smarter/better/cooler/etc (we literally invented the term "grammar nazi" for that kind of shit lmao.)

also nah i'm completely right

You can have your opinion don't worry, we were not talking about racism or transexuality. You can invent any term like grammar nazi, I just consider adults that cannot even write in their own language pretty ignorant.

Fair enough. You do sound pretty open minded. Obviously, some things are going to be important to each of us to sustain a relationship.

Did you try to politely ask why they ended things when they have? They're going to know more than anyone else. It may not even be you specifically, maybe they just didn't want to be in a relationship at that point.

If I'm honest, I'm the worst person to try and advise on relationships having never been in one!

I suppose I do think it must be kind of rare to find someone you are comfortable with all the time. If they're the serious sort, they will be thinking long-term I imagine too. Could you see yourself being with them long-term?

If you ask people they won't tell you… I don't like one night stands, I am not even attracted to people if I don't know them, I am looking for a long term relationship.

Don't worry I just wanted to vent I didn't expect to find a solution, but thank you for your time

 

[coolgal82]

You can have your opinion don't worry, we were not talking about racism or transexuality. You can invent any term like grammar nazi, I just consider adults that cannot even write in their own language pretty ignorant.

If you ask people they won't tell you… I don't like one night stands, I am not even attracted to people if I don't know them, I am looking for a long term relationship.

Don't worry I just wanted to vent I didn't expect to find a solution, but thank you for your time

"grammar nazi" as a term has existed for ages lmao (it has its own wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar_Nazi ), also i love how you claim to be so smart and yet fail to realise that i never implied you were talking about racism or trans people, i was using it as an example of other similar situations to this where people claim that society loves mislabelling people as one thing only to then prove that labelling of them accurate to some degree

im ngl though i can tell why you don't have much success purely based on your attitude lmao. no woman wants an annoying pedant who constantly acts like they're superior to everyone else (or most dont anyway who knows theres people out there into everything)

 

[Ozzyno]

"grammar nazi" as a term has existed for ages lmao (it has its own wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammar_Nazi ), also i love how you claim to be so smart and yet fail to realise that i never implied you were talking about racism or trans people, i was using it as an example of other similar situations to this where people claim that society loves mislabelling people as one thing only to then prove that labelling of them accurate to some degree

I know what you were talking about, I wasn't suggesting that you personally invented the term grammar nazi, I said that you (as people) can invent any term you want to defend your stupidity, but I will still think that people that cannot even write or read in their own language are ignorants.

You always bring up transexuality into arguments because of your personal situation, I was just saying between the lines that I didn't want this (my vent) to shift its topic because of you.

 

[coolgal82]

I know what you were talking about, I wasn't suggesting that you personally invented the term grammar nazi, I said that you (as people) can invent any term you want to defend your stupidity, but I will still think that people that cannot even write or read in their own language are ignorants.

You always bring up transexuality into arguments because of your personal situation, I was just saying between the lines that I didn't want this (my vent) to shift its topic because of you.

and as i said, you are just being an annoying pedant it aint that deep

also no? i'm not bringing it up because of any relation to me/my situation. I brought it up to use as an example for a phenomenon that i observed you doing. I also mentioned racism despite me not dealing with/experiencing any racism personally. i was not attempting to shift the topic to racism/trans people, it was merely a side comment on your behaviour, although you're doing a good job of shifting the topic yourself im ngl

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

@Forever Sleep, thank you for your response. Yes you can ask me personal questions. I did reject some women because they were generally ignorant about the world and I cannot stand that. I rejected my ex girlfriend because she still smokes too much weed and I don't want to be in a relationship with a person that puts drugs ahead of everything else. I don't have high standards in term of looks, women tend to tell me that I am good looking, above average. When I got rejected I never understood why. A couple weeks ago me and a 29 yo girl that I knew for a long time kissed during a night out (we were not drunk) and I've made it clear that I wanted to see her again but she is not doing anything to make that a reality.

I don't even have social media… I am 26, women I know around my age are exactly what you are describing. I don't like at all women who are into social media, the point is that I can't literally find one who's not. I am looking for a woman like you are describing yourself that's why I feel lonely. I could go out and find a relationship with an idiot but I don't want to. I want to be with a person like me…

I understand your point, but people reject for reasons, sometimes no reason, they merely don't feel a connection or want that. Rejection can be really hard, but it is part of life, it's about how you deal with it. And it's important to remind yourself that no-one owes you an explanation, it's different if you're in a relationship (depending on the circumstances - I.e you don't owe someone an explanation for not answering the phone etc, merely call them back when you're not busy - that type of thing, unless you had plans - that's different).

Your teens and twenties are the hardest years of your life, you're still finding yourself. We all grow and change at all different stages of our lives, we are never the same throughout our lives. I remember when I was struggling around your age and a friend (older), said "your 30s will be your best years". I believe her now, I didn't at the time.

You're so young to settle down, honestly. Fair enough you want to, but isn't it better to go out and do all the things you want to in life, before you do that? Unless you'd rather be tied to a relationship, each to their own, but relationships aren't easy you know, they come with having to take that person's feelings into consideration above your own sometimes, and comprising, and sometimes it can mean compromising a bit of yourself, which is something not everyone is able to do.

I guarantee there are plenty of women out there that aren't into all that superficial crap, plenty. Perhaps it's not your time yet, who knows. Join a gym, a club or something? Might meet a woman that way. There's always ways.

If you come across a certain way though, and give off creepy vibes, a woman will run for the hills. Women tend to take less shit from men these days, because we have more freedom than we had a few years ago, and we don't have to put up with certain things - and that's ok - we all have things we dislike/like. No one wants a yes person. Also, if you're looking for the perfect woman - she doesn't exist. No one is perfect, literally no one.

As long as you're respectful at all times, it's all good. Respect boundaries and don't push things, and never ever come across as jealous in any which way - it is the worst trait a person can ever have (and being disrespectful).

Many people in my opinion, overrate relationships. Many are unhappy about something - this is why it's important to communicate

Oh and lastly, LISTEN. Women hate it when men don't listen. That's a recipe for disaster. Yes, I'm aware it can be both sides, but you and I both know men are known for not listening at all. Don't let a woman treat you like shit and don't treat a woman like shit. Again, boundaries are important in ALL relationships (including friendships). You are your own person

 

[Ozzyno]

and as i said, you are just being an annoying pedant it aint that deep

also no? i'm not bringing it up because of any relation to me/my situation. I brought it up to use as an example for a phenomenon that i observed you doing. I also mentioned racism despite me not dealing with/experiencing any racism personally. i was not attempting to shift the topic to racism/trans people, it was merely a side comment on your behaviour, although you're doing a good job of shifting the topic yourself im ngl

I'm being an annoying pedant in my own thread where I posted a vent on a forum? If I'm annoying to you don't comment my posts, it's not that difficult. You are actively coming here to annoy me to try to put me down, I was talking to myself just like hundreds here do on this site. I don't come on your posts to tell you to stop complaining.

I understand your point, but people reject for reasons, sometimes no reason, they merely don't feel a connection or want that. Rejection can be really hard, but it is part of life, it's about how you deal with it. And it's important to remind yourself that no-one owes you an explanation, it's different if you're in a relationship (depending on the circumstances - I.e you don't owe someone an explanation for not answering the phone etc, merely call them back when you're not busy - that type of thing, unless you had plans - that's different).

Your teens and twenties are the hardest years of your life, you're still finding yourself. We all grow and change at all different stages of our lives, we are never the same throughout our lives. I remember when I was struggling around your age and a friend (older), said "your 30s will be your best years". I believe her now, I didn't at the time.

You're so young to settle down, honestly. Fair enough you want to, but isn't it better to go out and do all the things you want to in life, before you do that? Unless you'd rather be tied to a relationship, each to their own, but relationships aren't easy you know, they come with having to take that person's feelings into consideration above your own sometimes, and comprising, and sometimes it can mean compromising a bit of yourself, which is something not everyone is able to do.

I guarantee there are plenty of women out there that aren't into all that superficial crap, plenty. Perhaps it's not your time yet, who knows. Join a gym, a club or something? Might meet a woman that way. There's always ways.

If you come across a certain way though, and give off creepy vibes, a woman will run for the hills. Women tend to take less shit from men these days, because we have more freedom than we had a few years ago, and we don't have to put up with certain things - and that's ok - we all have things we dislike/like. No one wants a yes person. Also, if you're looking for the perfect woman - she doesn't exist. No one is perfect, literally no one.

As long as you're respectful at all times, it's all good. Respect boundaries and don't push things, and never ever come across as jealous in any which way - it is the worst trait a person can ever have (and being disrespectful).

Many people in my opinion, overrate relationships. Many are unhappy about something - this is why it's important to communicate

Oh and lastly, LISTEN. Women hate it when men don't listen. That's a recipe for disaster. Yes, I'm aware it can be both sides, but you and I both know men are known for not listening at all. Don't let a woman treat you like shit and don't treat a woman like shit. Again, boundaries are important in ALL relationships (including friendships). You are your own person

Thank you very much, this is helpful. I know this is a little early to think about setting myself up on a relationship. I am maybe scared that I will not be able to do so in the future. I have anxiety problems but I have to say that reading to this message made a difference, reminded me I am not gonna die of old age in a couple of months, thank you very much.

 

[Dai]

"waah men get branded as incels unfairly blah blah whatever other stuff" they always turn out to be an incel or incel adjacent.

"i dont think trans women are women",

mfs will go "people are so sensitive you get called racist for the smallest stuff" then say that black people are naturally less intelligent or all violent criminals or whatever

 

[Namelesa]

I sense that this thread is going to get locked soon but I say a little quick thing before it does.

There is definitely some truth with people that prioritize finding what society considers as the most stereotypical best attractive person of the gender that person is attracted too. I do think the average man can be treated as more exposable than the average women and be more likely to be ignored at least with my experiences before I transitioned. Its unfair when you get abandoned suddenly without reason as that can lead you to feel less self-worth and you may think there is something wrong with you. Thank god I am a weirdo that is attracted to other weirdos so it makes it easier for me to find romantic partners.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I dare to say that women behave like animals.

"Why don't women like me?"

 

[Ozzyno]

I sense that this thread is going to get locked soon but I say a little quick thing before it does.

There is definitely some truth with people that prioritize finding what society considers as the most stereotypical best attractive person of the gender that person is attracted too. I do think the average man can be treated as more exposable than the average women and be more likely to be ignored at least with my experiences before I transitioned. Its unfair when you get abandoned suddenly without reason as that can lead you to feel less self-worth and you may think there is something wrong with you. Thank god I am a weirdo that is attracted to other weirdos so it makes it easier for me to find romantic partners.

I don't see why this thread should be locked, I didn't personally insulted anyone, on the contrary, a couple of trolls came here to do that with me. This forum is clearly organised and moderated by someone that doesn't like my point of views since someone can come here to call me words without consequences.

I'm happy it's easy for you to find a partner because you are a weirdo, I am a weirdo too probably but since I live in a small town there aren't many people like me ahahah ;P

"Why don't women like me?"

So? As a man when I hear a woman saying that 'men' like my boss's son behave like animals I just agree with them. What's the problem? The opinion that I have is that the majority of women I've met in my life take idiotic romantic choices, proof of that is that most of them end up in failing marriages or with men that have absolutely zero respect for them. You are literally missing the whole point which is ironic, if you read what I wrote and feel the need to attack me back maybe you should look in a mirror and ask yourselves why you feel attacked personally when it was clearly a though and not a criticism of you since I don't even know you. Maybe you read my description and see yourself in that.

 

[astr4]

sounds to me like you're exactly where you want to be. it sucks that there isn't a larger dating pool for you but if the idea is to find someone genuinely compatible with you then just… keep waiting? people generally aren't looking to settle down in their 20s. if you're looking for one of those marry young housewife types you might be better off going to church and socializing there.

 

[Ozzyno]

sounds to me like you're exactly where you want to be. it sucks that there isn't a larger dating pool for you but if the idea is to find someone genuinely compatible with you then just… keep waiting? people generally aren't looking to settle down in their 20s. if you're looking for one of those marry young housewife types you might be better off going to church and socializing there.

Yea I'll keep waiting, it's just hard with my anxiety sometimes. But thanks, you are right

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I'm being an annoying pedant in my own thread where I posted a vent on a forum? If I'm annoying to you don't comment my posts, it's not that difficult. You are actively coming here to annoy me to try to put me down, I was talking to myself just like hundreds here do on this site. I don't come on your posts to tell you to stop complaining.

Thank you very much, this is helpful. I know this is a little early to think about setting myself up on a relationship. I am maybe scared that I will not be able to do so in the future. I have anxiety problems but I have to say that reading to this message made a difference, reminded me I am not gonna die of old age in a couple of months, thank you very much.

Ignore the people commenting shit on your thread, literally every single person on this site has issues, myself included! Try not to let them get to you - I know it isn't easy, but giving a reaction isn't helpful to yourself, it'll just feed the fire.

Brilliant news, I'm glad that made you feel better

Hey something you can work on - your anxieties. Best to do all that before committing yourself to a relationship so you don't project onto others and make her run away. One step at a time eh, it takes time and effort to work on ourselves - you will have blips in the road too and that's totally ok! Remember to always be kind to yourself, you are human at the end of the day. Having a shit day? Fuck it, you're having a shit day, have a shit day and sit and do absolutely nothing (be there for you - this is so important) not the end of the world, tomorrow could be much better

Always, always take time to wind down and rest or you'll burn out. Take each day as it comes and things could slowly improve, but it takes time and effort - remember NOTHING happens over night, the more you do something, the easier it becomes , trust me, I've dealt with severe mental illness my entire life and I'm just starting to get better now at 35, because I've put the time and effort in over time and pushed myself (not to the point of burn out which I used to do), so you can too

Best of luck to you. Really hope things start looking up for you

 

[WhiteRabbit]

So? As a man when I hear a woman saying that 'men' like my boss's son behave like animals I just agree with them. What's the problem? The opinion that I have is that the majority of women I've met in my life take idiotic romantic choices, proof of that is that most of them end up in failing marriages or with men that have absolutely zero respect for them. You are literally missing the whole point which is ironic.

So you're butt hurt that some women want alphas? Plenty of men also want an insta baddie gf. Or a 20-something wife even though they're 50. Sometimes, both men and women are very shallow, but the majority of regular people end up in relationships eventually.

 

[astr4]

i will say with women, you'll notice a lot of them if they've been hurt by men in the past will go down the pipeline of "men suck, i hate all men" and so on. i know it comes from a place of hurt, so i try not to engage too much with the anger, at the same time it does kind of suck that they're driving away the good men who might want to support them and help them heal.

i think a very empathetic woman would be able to understand despite all that, but i have to admit they are probably few and far between, same with finding a man who will happily tolerate "i hope all men die" etc etc.

this is marked as a venting thread so i'm not taking angry words at face value but i think two things can be true. you have be hurt by some very shallow women in your past and at the same time women aren't a monolith. like whiterabbit mentioned above, there are men who are shallow as well as women, and i think we can all agree they kinda suck, but i think it's a shame to lump all women or all men into that, and inadvertently dismiss people trying to make genuine connections.

 

[Ozzyno]

So you're butt hurt that some women want alphas? Plenty of men also want an insta baddie gf. Or a 20-something wife even though they're 50. Sometimes, both men and women are very shallow, but the majority of regular people end up in relationships eventually.

No, I am saying that you can't get offended that Alpha males exist and that they are as violent as anyone can see when you are the first one attracted to that. You are literally proving my point.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

No, I am saying that you can't get offended that Alpha males exist and that they are as violent as anyone can see when you are the first one attracted to that. You are literally proving my point.

Why are you talking about women as if we're all the same?