Venting MEPS soon. Boot camp in september, I realized something bad

[LifeIsASadist]

I realized...

In USMC boot camp we will have to take showers together in the same room naked and no, thats not what I am concerned about.

I realized I have self harm scars on my legs (quad area) which went deep, a scar on my chest and smaller scars on my arm which are noticable if you get close.

Hopefully the showers are warm to create steam so it can conceal my scars so nobody tries to rat on me to the sergeants in boot camp. But it will be much harder on the toilets since I am exposed.

But good news, the 2 really big scars on my thighs are next to my penis so chances are HOPEFULLY nobody will look.

Is there any USMC veterans or currently active members here? Any advice?

 

[cait_sith]

Don't they do medical examinations anyway where you will have to get naked, with a military doctor checking the balls?. I know they that in German military

 

[LifeIsASadist]

Don't they do medical examinations anyway where you will have to get naked, with a military doctor checking the balls?. I know they that in German military

Shit

Do you think growing my leg hair out will help conceal the smaller scars?

Don't they do medical examinations anyway where you will have to get naked, with a military doctor checking the balls?. I know they that in German military

So best bet would be to PRAY they dont notice it if I grow my leg hair out

 

[Forveleth]

My attitude with self-harm is always to own it. So many more people cut than we think and talking about it is the only way to remove the stigma. You did what you needed to do at the time to make yourself feel better. Maybe you are not proud of that, but we all have done shit that we are not proud of, especially a lot of military recruits.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Just say you were young, and stupid? Cant expect them never to get discovered is my thought.

# Its the coverup that kills.

 

[nobeertonight]

You DID a lot of mountain biking when you were a kid

 

[LifeIsASadist]

You DID a lot of mountain biking when you were a kid

How are so many cuts on one place (especially an impossible spot) explainable for that?

Just say you were young, and stupid? Cant expect them never to get discovered is my thought.

# Its the coverup that kills.

It was during covid (2020) when my health was at its worst, lowest testosterone and lowest mental health

My attitude with self-harm is always to own it. So many more people cut than we think and talking about it is the only way to remove the stigma.

Not many in the military, they literally expect you to be 100% normal (so much for "normal people don't exist)

You did what you needed to do at the time to make yourself feel better. Maybe you are not proud of that, but we all have done shit that we are not proud of, especially a lot of military recruits.

Its been 5 years since I last SHd

 

[lionetta12]

How are so many cuts on one place (especially an impossible spot) explainable for that?

It was during covid (2020) when my health was at its worst, lowest testosterone and lowest mental health

Not many in the military, they literally expect you to be 100% normal (so much for "normal people don't exist)


Its been 5 years since I last SHd

One of the main reasons that I did not want to serve myself was the whole shower and shared room situation due to being sexually assaulted all my childhood in a shower, bath tub and bed situation. I'm not really sure what the enlisting people would think about self-harm scars, but I do imagine that they might consider declining you on such a basis if you were to be honest about the story behind the scars, might depend on the country you're in and the rules though since it varies. If I wanted to enlist myself, I would not be honest about any self-harm if I really wanted to get through.

 

[LifeIsASadist]

One of the main reasons that I did not want to serve myself was the whole shower and shared room situation due to being sexually assaulted all my childhood in a shower, bath tub and bed situation. I'm not really sure what the enlisting people would think about self-harm scars, but I do imagine that they might consider declining you on such a basis if you were to be honest about the story behind the scars, might depend on the country you're in and the rules though since it varies. If I wanted to enlist myself, I would not be honest about any self-harm if I really wanted to get through.

Yep. There is no way I could lie out of this

Explain how I would be able to lie about scars in this area.


All I could do is PRAY they just let it slide since it was 5 years ago.

 

[kitkat9234]

Self harm may be a disqualifier. I know for the Air Force it is.

Edit: In the US anyway.

Have you gone to MEPS yet? Did your recruiter ask you about mental health history?

May be able to get a waiver but that depends on a lot of factors and not very likely.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Man, here in the US, the military is already having enough trouble recruiting anymore. I admit idk for certain, but I have a feeling that scars aren't going to be a deal breaker. Just be upfront and tell them you're not that same person.

I guess the question needs to be asked, and no offense is meant by it, but: Being that you're here on a "suicide forum", are you joining the military just to get "closer" to guns, so that you can ctb at some point?

Good luck in your endeavors.

 

[kitkat9234]

Just another note. Marines are no joke. If you get through basic (one of the hardest of the branches) you'll probably be deployed multiple times depending on your job and if active duty. It may have an impact on your mental health especially in combat. And if something comes up and they find out it was preexisting and you didn't disclose it - it could come back to bite you. Also wondering why you are joining if you are here. Just my two cents. If you want to know more of my experience you can pm me. I wish you the best.

 

[LifeIsASadist]

Self harm may be a disqualifier. I know for the Air Force it is.

Edit: In the US anyway.

Have you gone to MEPS yet? Did your recruiter ask you about mental health history?

Just my autism and IEP I had in high school which told me I am fine since I told him my life story but not about the SH since he never asked

May be able to get a waiver but that depends on a lot of factors and not very likely.

FUCK

Just another note. Marines are no joke. If you get through basic (one of the hardest of the branches) you'll probably be deployed multiple times depending on your job and if active duty. It may have an impact on your mental health especially in combat. And if something comes up and they find out it was preexisting and you didn't disclose it

Never did disclose it bc I was never asked about it

- it could come back to bite you. Also wondering why you are joining if you are here. Just my two cents. If you want to know more of my experience you can pm me. I wish you the best.

College + experience + my only chance of getting a meaningful job that isn't a dead end minimum wage job like security or something

Man, here in the US, the military is already having enough trouble recruiting anymore. I admit idk for certain, but I have a feeling that scars aren't going to be a deal breaker. Just be upfront and tell them you're not that same person.

I feel like I am not personally, not saying I am not fucked up in the head still but not on the side of cutting myself

I guess the question needs to be asked, and no offense is meant by it, but: Being that you're here on a "suicide forum", are you joining the military just to get "closer" to guns, so that you can ctb at some point?

No, I don't need to use a gun to CTB anymore since I have another method.

On the flip side I am hoping this can help reduce my suicidal thoughts so I feel like I can have a purpose.

I already tried to join the military before in 2022 for Navy but a false rape accusation fucked me up my senior year

Good luck in your endeavors.

Thanks. All I can do is PRAY really REALLY hard they just let it slide since it was 5 years ago

 

[alwaysalone]

Just my autism and IEP I had in high school which told me I am fine since I told him my life story but not about the SH since he never asked

FUCK

Never did disclose it bc I was never asked about it


College + experience + my only chance of getting a meaningful job that isn't a dead end minimum wage job like security or something

Ok I have to say this. I don't know how old you are but please hear this. If you join the military you can DIE. That might not seem like a big deal since you're here. However to be very very frank there is a huge difference between planning your peaceful painless suicide on a site like this and getting shot in the gut by a terrorist in the middle east and dying slowly in the dust on foreign soil. Or watching your friends die screaming next to you. It's not something you do to pay for college. I'm not trying to be mean or condescending. If you didn't disclose your mental health issues and you get worse they will absolutely kick you out on an other than honorable or dishonorable. Either way you most if not all "perks" will not be available to you.