Story MONEY.. trapped and alone

[blackwidow]

I am so alone.. so trapped.. I can't even breath... all I have done all my life is pass forward... I'm always the one that gives the homeless some pennies.. or buys them food or a blanket.. helps the little old lady with her groceries.. gives things away that I want to keep myself but seeing the joy in another's face to me is priceless.. even the other day a young lad was on the train and he was talking to me saying hed missed one train had no charge on his phone and 7pence in his bank and still had to travel another 40 miles to try and get to his mums 60th birthday.. I scrabbled in my purse and gave him my last 4 pounds so at least he had a drink on his journey, leaving me not able to get the bus, so I walked, only 2 miles and a beautiful day any way. I give up.. my life has been full of disasters.. my partner of 23 years was killed I lost our home everything.. I am about to be evicted because I'm so behind with rent and the bills just land on the floor and I hide them hoping theyl go away.. I have literally nothing at all left to live for.. the is no point...

 

[flightless bird]

We will all die, but it is souls like you that make me wanna live... I can only hope that your suffering ends and you get to live a great life, become the best version of yourself somehow.

 

[theboy]

You are a beautiful person. I'm sorry the world didn't treat you well.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, this life is just so unfair. You don't deserve all this suffering. I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation.

 

[brokensea]

I am so alone.. so trapped.. I can't even breath... all I have done all my life is pass forward... I'm always the one that gives the homeless some pennies.. or buys them food or a blanket.. helps the little old lady with her groceries.. gives things away that I want to keep myself but seeing the joy in another's face to me is priceless.. even the other day a young lad was on the train and he was talking to me saying hed missed one train had no charge on his phone and 7pence in his bank and still had to travel another 40 miles to try and get to his mums 60th birthday.. I scrabbled in my purse and gave him my last 4 pounds so at least he had a drink on his journey, leaving me not able to get the bus, so I walked, only 2 miles and a beautiful day any way. I give up.. my life has been full of disasters.. my partner of 23 years was killed I lost our home everything.. I am about to be evicted because I'm so behind with rent and the bills just land on the floor and I hide them hoping theyl go away.. I have literally nothing at all left to live for.. the is no point...

I wish life rewarded good people but sadly it doesn't. Life likes to kick you in the teeth and set you on fire no matter how wonderful you are to every person you meet in your life or how good of a person you try to be. It's so cruel and unfair. Would you be able to go bankrupt and wipe away the debt you have? Is there anyone you can reach out to for help?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

You sound like a virtuous and kind person… I know what that's like to be generous and then have things collapse… When I had money I was always paying for other people… I didn't like the idea of pennypinching and wanted tohelp those in need… But I Didn't understand fundamentals of saving and investing and eventually paid the price… I wish they were a better way out… If I did I wouldn't be here…

 

[blackwidow]

I wish life rewarded good people but sadly it doesn't. Life likes to kick you in the teeth and set you on fire no matter how wonderful you are to every person you meet in your life or how good of a person you try to be. It's so cruel and unfair. Would you be able to go bankrupt and wipe away the debt you have? Is there anyone you can reach out to for help?

it is so unfair isn't it.. you sound a lovely person too. Yes life just seems to want to keep pushing me further and further down I feel so alone and trapped that the only option is to just get out of it all.. at least I don't have to wake up feeling nervous and sick wishing it was bed time again to just sleep.. I can't no because I don't owe enough apparently to get it wiped off.. I've contacted help groups and citizens advice and they just say nothing they can do. I have noone to reach it too either.. today I was driving down the road and a girl was stuck on the road.. I pulled over and she had a flat tyre so I jumped out and helped, she couldn't turn the jack handle.. between us we got it sorted and the spare tyre back on, she was so grateful and sweet.. it made me twn minutes late for work and the boss was just so horrible.. I'm never late either.. I thought to myself it doesn't matter if your good all your life my life will never be better.. the is no point.

 

[brokensea]

it is so unfair isn't it.. you sound a lovely person too. Yes life just seems to want to keep pushing me further and further down I feel so alone and trapped that the only option is to just get out of it all.. at least I don't have to wake up feeling nervous and sick wishing it was bed time again to just sleep.. I can't no because I don't owe enough apparently to get it wiped off.. I've contacted help groups and citizens advice and they just say nothing they can do. I have noone to reach it too either.. today I was driving down the road and a girl was stuck on the road.. I pulled over and she had a flat tyre so I jumped out and helped, she couldn't turn the jack handle.. between us we got it sorted and the spare tyre back on, she was so grateful and sweet.. it made me twn minutes late for work and the boss was just so horrible.. I'm never late either.. I thought to myself it doesn't matter if your good all your life my life will never be better.. the is no point.

Wow boss sounds like an ahole. Not sure where you are from but here you can go bankrupt pretty easily by calling a bankruptcy lawyer. They have offices all over. That sucks. I had that happen to me too I heard a crash by this road and this lady skid off the freeway and I'm the only person who went over to help her. People can be unreal sometimes. Doesn't the world need more kind people because life is so cruel but then we don't want to be here either because it's too cruel and affects us too much. Awful people love to take advantage of us and we just end up miserable and hopeless. It's like the world doesn't want you to be kind or punishes you for it. It certainly doesn't reward you. I'm so burnt out I just sit alone in my place for two years now not seeing people much at all anymore. The world is too cruel out there. It's very lonely but I guess better than dealing with being hurt a million times again.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I wish you didn't feel the need to go. I wish none of us felt that way. But, frankly, I think you may be too good for this pile of crap we call earth.

 

[Obliviate]

I feel like this so often, I have always gone out of my way to help people.be kind only to be given suffering. I don't believe in karma. What a bunch of crap. People like us are too pure for this world. I'm ready to go.

 

[Finding Sirius]

From my experience, karma works the opposite of what everyone says. The kinder and purer you are in your interactions with others, the worse off you are. I am so sorry for the loss of your partner I can relate to that. I lost the love of my life last year to the so called "Healthcare" system last year. He was one of the kindest and pure souls you could meet. He always tried to be a good person, and that this world punished him. He got one of the most undignified deaths one could get, while the vultures of the medical field tried to benefit. Also family members who only used him and never helped in any meaningful way trying to act like they gave a damn at his funeral, disgusting. I've honestly taken a step back, and rather then be an active participant in the world I have become an observer. I help when I can but I'm not going out of my way like I used to, I'm tired of people seeing my kindness as weakness. Like @Obliviate said, we are too pure for this world. As much as I miss him I am happy that he no longer has to suffer in this dungheap we call a world. I wish to join him soon in peace. I wish well and hope things get better for you.

 

[blackwidow]

I feel like this so often, I have always gone out of my way to help people.be kind only to be given suffering. I don't believe in karma. What a bunch of crap. People like us are too pure for this world. I'm ready to go.

I don't believe in karma either.. it's total rubbish.. or the wouldn't be so much pain in the world..

From my experience, karma works the opposite of what everyone says. The kinder and purer you are in your interactions with others, the worse off you are. I am so sorry for the loss of your partner I can relate to that. I lost the love of my life last year to the so called "Healthcare" system last year. He was one of the kindest and pure souls you could meet. He always tried to be a good person, and that this world punished him. He got one of the most undignified deaths one could get, while the vultures of the medical field tried to benefit. Also family members who only used him and never helped in any meaningful way trying to act like they gave a damn at his funeral, disgusting. I've honestly taken a step back, and rather then be an active participant in the world I have become an observer. I help when I can but I'm not going out of my way like I used to, I'm tired of people seeing my kindness as weakness. Like @Obliviate said, we are too pure for this world. As much as I miss him I am happy that he no longer has to suffer in this dungheap we call a world. I wish to join him soon in peace. I wish well and hope things get better for you.

we sound like we have a very similar past... life is so cruel.. so hard.. maybe if ui was a horrible person ide be very happy.. but that will never happen... I agree, we weren't meant for this world.. take it easy lovely

 

[Jimblue]

I am very sorry about that happen to you. Sounds like you are really nice person.

I understand how you feel. I started looking for someone when I was young. I am not ask any man to treat me like princess. I don't mind look after or give my love to my partner. But they just used me, one way or another.

I looked after a man that I just met for 2 weeks in the his most difficult time. Literally just after he was getting better he asked me to fuck off if I can not accept the fact he was going to continue to see another woman. When I met this man, he told me he was single and I did not know had a girlfriend. And his girlfriend ran way when he was ill. I was the one stayed with him and it cost all my saving. So I have to stay with him as I have no one, no saving, no place to live.

 

[blackwidow]

I am very sorry about that happen to you. Sounds like you are really nice person.

I understand how you feel. I started looking for someone when I was young. I am not ask any man to treat me like princess. I don't mind look after or give my love to my partner. But they just used me, one way or another.

I looked after a man that I just met for 2 weeks in the his most difficult time. Literally just after he was getting better he asked me to fuck off if I can not accept the fact he was going to continue to see another woman. When I met this man, he told me he was single and I did not know had a girlfriend. And his girlfriend ran way when he was ill. I was the one stayed with him and it cost all my saving. So I have to stay with him as I have no one, no saving, no place to live.

that's just so sad... like I said, so many lovely people on here have been handed the worst cards in life.. it's really unfair.. I wish I could scoop us all up and take us to a place where the is just happy Ness and contentment..

 

[Jimblue]

that's just so sad... like I said, so many lovely people on here have been handed the worst cards in life.. it's really unfair.. I wish I could scoop us all up and take us to a place where the is just happy Ness and contentment..

For me, I don't have "one off" experience. I have dozens this kind of experience that I even not able to count.

Sometimes I feel I had never bully anyone in my life and I never harm anyone. And the people who had abused me before, have a nicer life than me.

I wish there is a place that can guaranteed no more pain, no more hurt.

I feel I will never able to build truly trust with anyone as I had been stab on my back for too many times.

 

[icetea15]

I am so alone.. so trapped.. I can't even breath... all I have done all my life is pass forward... I'm always the one that gives the homeless some pennies.. or buys them food or a blanket.. helps the little old lady with her groceries.. gives things away that I want to keep myself but seeing the joy in another's face to me is priceless.. even the other day a young lad was on the train and he was talking to me saying hed missed one train had no charge on his phone and 7pence in his bank and still had to travel another 40 miles to try and get to his mums 60th birthday.. I scrabbled in my purse and gave him my last 4 pounds so at least he had a drink on his journey, leaving me not able to get the bus, so I walked, only 2 miles and a beautiful day any way. I give up.. my life has been full of disasters.. my partner of 23 years was killed I lost our home everything.. I am about to be evicted because I'm so behind with rent and the bills just land on the floor and I hide them hoping theyl go away.. I have literally nothing at all left to live for.. the is no point...

I really felt your post. Hard. My only anchor in life is to give other people joy to their faces and still I'm not feeling any better after all. It's a whole book I could write about it but to put it in just one particular, well known phrase: I live for other people, family, friends; certainly not for me.
If I can help you in any way, be it monetary or just somebody with whom you can talk to, pm me. I can't pay your rent or buy you a house or something like that but if it's enough for anything you do need or want now like gas money etc, I'm really happy to help. Earth is cruel, to put it mildly.

 

[brokensea]

From my experience, karma works the opposite of what everyone says. The kinder and purer you are in your interactions with others, the worse off you are. I am so sorry for the loss of your partner I can relate to that. I lost the love of my life last year to the so called "Healthcare" system last year. He was one of the kindest and pure souls you could meet. He always tried to be a good person, and that this world punished him. He got one of the most undignified deaths one could get, while the vultures of the medical field tried to benefit. Also family members who only used him and never helped in any meaningful way trying to act like they gave a damn at his funeral, disgusting. I've honestly taken a step back, and rather then be an active participant in the world I have become an observer. I help when I can but I'm not going out of my way like I used to, I'm tired of people seeing my kindness as weakness. Like @Obliviate said, we are too pure for this world. As much as I miss him I am happy that he no longer has to suffer in this dungheap we call a world. I wish to join him soon in peace. I wish well and hope things get better for you.

"From my experience, karma works the opposite of what everyone says. The kinder and purer you are in your interactions with others, the worse off you are."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

"From my experience, karma works the opposite of what everyone says. The kinder and purer you are in your interactions with others, the worse off you are."

No truer words have ever been spoken.

People pleasing ends badly