• UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.

  • Hey Guest,

    Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.

    This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.

    In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].

    Read our statement here:

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1L
    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9
    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
My names Evan. I'm 19 years old and I live in the United States. Just last Thursday, August 22 2024, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Colon Cancer. I am surprised but also not, 3 of my grandparents have passed of colon cancer. My mother suffered from Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis, and eventually had to have to colon removed.
I'm going to be documenting my journey here. I don't know how to feel. I'm open to questions if anyone has any I guess? I love you guys. <3
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: PhDone, Vivir_O_No, consider and 22 others
DuskUntilDawn

DuskUntilDawn

Member
Aug 23, 2024
42
I'm sorry you're going through that at such a young age. That's very scary. What is your treatment plan?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez, MatrixPrisoner, Hotsackage and 1 other person
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,134
My names Evan. I'm 19 years old and I live in the United States. Just last Thursday, August 22 2024, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Colon Cancer. I am surprised but also not, 3 of my grandparents have passed of colon cancer. My mother suffered from Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis, and eventually had to have to colon removed.
I'm going to be documenting my journey here. I don't know how to feel. I'm open to questions if anyone has any I guess? I love you guys. <3
Did you get tested for Lynch Syndrome? That many family members and your extremely young age is highly suspicious for it. God bless. I saw a lot of patients with colon cancer.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez, MatrixPrisoner, Leiden and 1 other person
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
I'm sorry you're going through that at such a young age. That's very scary. What is your treatment plan?
I don't know yet. I had a colonoscopy Thursday, and have an appointment at the cancer center place at my hospital this Wednesday. I assume that's when my doctors will make a treatment plan and do tests and such.
Did you get tested for Lynch Syndrome? That many family members and your extremely young age is highly suspicious for it. God bless. I saw a lot of patients with colon cancer.
Not yet but I have an appointment Wednesday and I assume they will be testing for everything lol
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
DuskUntilDawn

DuskUntilDawn

Member
Aug 23, 2024
42
Did they remove a lot of polyps during the colonoscopy? What have you been doing to distract yourself since finding this out? Again, my heart breaks for you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez, MatrixPrisoner and EG1141
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,134
I don't know yet. I had a colonoscopy Thursday, and have an appointment at the cancer center place at my hospital this Wednesday. I assume that's when my doctors will make a treatment plan and do tests and such.

Not yet but I have an appointment Wednesday and I assume they will be testing for everything lol
If they don't test for it ask about it. UC can cause cancer too but... This sounds very Lynchy to me. Like I said I wish you the best. Stage 2 is still early and colon cancer is usually pretty treatable. Best of luck. If you have any questions please reach out. I was a scribe in an oncology clinic, went to medical school, interned in an oncology clinic, was president of the oncology research group and wanted to be an oncologist.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: davidtorez, Tonkpils, Ashu and 3 others
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
Did they remove a lot of polyps during the colonoscopy? What have you been doing to distract yourself since finding this out? Again, my heart breaks for you.
There were no other polyps, and my endoscopy was clear as well. They took some biopsies of the tumor and my colon wall and stuff.
I've been playing the new Overwatch season with my friends lol. It hasn't affected my life to be honest. I've just kind of been ignoring it. My friends don't know yet. I don't want to burden them in anyway of having to deal with me.
If they don't test for it ask about it. UC can cause cancer too but... This sounds very Lynchy to me. Like I said I wish you the best. Stage 2 is still early and colon cancer is usually pretty treatable. Best of luck. If you have any questions please reach out. I was a scribe in an oncology clinic, went to medical school, interned in an oncology clinic, was president of the oncology research group and wanted to be an oncologist.
Your life sounds very interesting. I used to want to be an orthopedic surgeon when I was in 1st and 2nd grade. That's something the diagnosis has done to me though, making me look back on my life. I'm remembering things I haven't thought about in well over 13 years.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: davidtorez, Ashu, MatrixPrisoner and 1 other person
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,134
Your life sounds very interesting. I used to want to be an orthopedic surgeon when I was in 1st and 2nd grade. That's something the diagnosis has done to me though, making me look back on my life. I'm remembering things I haven't thought about in well over 13 years.
Ehh used to be. I can imagine that is a part of it. It makes you reflect and all that. What made you want to be an orthopedic surgeon?
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,797
Did you get tested for Lynch Syndrome? That many family members and your extremely young age is highly suspicious for it. God bless. I saw a lot of patients with colon cancer.
That was my first thought as well when reading this. OP, your case sounds so similar to textbook Lynch syndrome. If they don't mention it do push for the genetic testing as more research is coming out suggesting that certain treatments are more well tolerated in Lynch patients than those without the genetic mutations and vice versa. Also, others in the family may be affected or carriers.

So sorry to hear you're going through this. How are you feeling about everything? It's good that you're not feeling any pain right now. Hopefully by nipping it in the bud earlier you won't have many complications. Sending you good wishes.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: davidtorez, Ashu, Leiden and 2 others
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
Ehh used to be. I can imagine that is a part of it. It makes you reflect and all that. What made you want to be an orthopedic surgeon?
I broke my arm twice at a young age, and I absolutely loved the experience of the hospital. I loved being in the OR room. I still like watching surgeries and dissections of human stuff (not in a weird way like a science nerd thing). To me it was just so perfect, the order, the procedure. It was everything I wanted to be. Unfortunately that wonder and desire faded lol.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,134
I broke my arm twice at a young age, and I absolutely loved the experience of the hospital. I loved being in the OR room. I still like watching surgeries and dissections of human stuff (not in a weird way like a science nerd thing). To me it was just so perfect, the order, the procedure. It was everything I wanted to be. Unfortunately that wonder and desire faded lol.
Makes sense. It is definitely a surreal experience to take human anatomy and dissect people.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
1,580
My names Evan. I'm 19 years old and I live in the United States. Just last Thursday, August 22 2024, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Colon Cancer. I am surprised but also not, 3 of my grandparents have passed of colon cancer. My mother suffered from Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis, and eventually had to have to colon removed.
I'm going to be documenting my journey here. I don't know how to feel. I'm open to questions if anyone has any I guess? I love you guys. <3
Wow, that's devastating news to get! I hope you're able to find the inner strength to fight but as a cancer survivor myself I know how hard that can be. Thank goodness it's only stage 2!
So young to experience such a thing. We live in such a toxic world that it's not a surprise to me that so many people have cancer.
If you need someone to talk to I'm a good listener🌹💔
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
Unknown21

Unknown21

The past never dies. Forever 22.
Apr 25, 2023
1,055
My names Evan. I'm 19 years old and I live in the United States. Just last Thursday, August 22 2024, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Colon Cancer. I am surprised but also not, 3 of my grandparents have passed of colon cancer. My mother suffered from Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis, and eventually had to have to colon removed.
I'm going to be documenting my journey here. I don't know how to feel. I'm open to questions if anyone has any I guess? I love you guys. <3
Man, I'm so sorry. It's unfair to have cancer at such a young age. I hope you find peace in both life and death.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
tiaralamb

tiaralamb

binge restrict cycle
Dec 15, 2021
25
I really wish the best for you and your family, Ty for sharing your journey. I have a question for you if you don't mind but pls tell me if I'm overstepping:

Do you think it's messed up/morally bankrupt when suicidal people wish to be terminally ill?
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
I really wish the best for you and your family, Ty for sharing your journey. I have a question for you if you don't mind but pls tell me if I'm overstepping:

Do you think it's messed up/morally bankrupt when suicidal people wish to be terminally ill?
No, it's not messed up at all. I've definitely wished to be terminally ill before.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez, voltage268, Ashu and 1 other person
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,996
I'm so sorry to hear this Evan. No matter their outlook on life it isn't something I'd wish on anyone.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
I'm in class right now. It feels so weird living just knowing I have cancer. It might seem odd but I feel like I can feel the tumor. It's at the top of my descending colon right after the transverse ends.
 
  • Aww..
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and ForgottenAgain
C

CantDoIt

Elementalist
Jul 18, 2024
874
Im sorry you're going through this! It seems like you're pretty calm.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
R

Rio79

New Member
Aug 25, 2024
3
A 19 anni non si dovrebbe vivere con una cosa simile. Hai tutta la vita davanti a te e ti auguro ogni bene e che ne uscirai a testa alta. La scienza fa fatto passi da gigante e vedrai che andrà tutto bene. Ho avuto una mia carissima zia che ha avuto il tuo stesso cancro ed è guarita quindi prendi il Toro per le corna e fagli vedere chi comanda.
Sempre a tua disposizione se hai bisogno.
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez and Ashu
H

HopeToStay

Member
May 31, 2024
80
Really sorry to read this OP.

I'm praying you can beat this and live a normal life.

Medical-based suicidal thoughts are really hard to parse, as often, you really do want to live, just without the pain/discomfort/anxiety/prognosis of your condition

Best of luck
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez, nothinggoldcanstay, Ashu and 1 other person
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
A 19 anni non si dovrebbe vivere con una cosa simile. Hai tutta la vita davanti a te e ti auguro ogni bene e che ne uscirai a testa alta. La scienza fa fatto passi da gigante e vedrai che andrà tutto bene. Ho avuto una mia carissima zia che ha avuto il tuo stesso cancro ed è guarita quindi prendi il Toro per le corna e fagli vedere chi comanda.
Sempre a tua disposizione se hai bisogno.

Grazie mille amico. <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
R

Rio79

New Member
Aug 25, 2024
3
Ti sono vicino. Anche se non ci conosciamo.
 
  • Love
Reactions: EG1141
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
Update #1:
8/30/24

This Wednesday, August 28 2024, I met the team that will be overseeing my treatment. They were very kind and walked me through every step of my journey that I'm about to embark on.

The plan as of now is to have the tumor surgically removed in the next 2 months, then go through rounds of chemo until my cancer enters remission. The good news is, though my tumor has grown through the wall of my colon (as seen on my scans), it doesn't seem to have metastasized yet. They didn't give any % of survival or anything, but they told me it's very likely I will survive this. I still have a young and strong immune system. I've been prescribed some pre-op medications to try to slow the growth of my tumor and control it before it is removed. I went through some other tests, blood, stool, etc... (It was a very long visit to the hospital, to say the least). I did get tested for Lynch syndrome thanks to you guys! (I'm very thankful for all the input you guys have given me <3). I should the test results back in about 5-7 days, so I'll keep you all updated.

As for my emotional and mental state, I've definitely noticed a decline. I moved back in with my parents this week and everyone just seems so down. I understand it. If my son got cancer I wouldn't even know how to feel. They're trying to keep me happy, but it's not really working lol. I've never been "happy" and I doubt I ever will. There were days this week when I didn't even get out of bed until 2 pm.

My university knows of my diagnosis, and they are trying their best to cater to my new life. I'm a music education major, which is not an easy degree to earn online. My lesson teacher said she cried when I sent her an email informing her. I really do love my school. I took this week off, except for some of my online assignments. I think I'm gonna try to go for at least 3 days next week, the least I can do is try right? The meds are making me very drowsy though :(

I'm here for any suggestions or comments or anything lol. I love you guys.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez, BoulderSoWhat, escape_from_hell and 6 others
uglyugly

uglyugly

Student
Aug 24, 2024
164
I truly wish I could find the right words to say. It is not fair that someone your age is going through this. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, ever. I am hoping for the best possible outcome for you. :heart:
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,356
I'm sorry you have to go through this with just 19. Life is often so unfair. 🫂
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
RABITIA

RABITIA

Member
Jul 21, 2024
18
Evan, I love you brother and wish you the best in life.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
DuskUntilDawn

DuskUntilDawn

Member
Aug 23, 2024
42
You've got this buddy. You will beat it.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: davidtorez and EG1141
EG1141

EG1141

Member
Aug 12, 2024
81
Hey all, I'm in the ER right now for some pretty serious bleeding. They think it was probably caused by my medications. They've got me hooked up to IV and are giving me fluids. Seems like I'm probably gonna be spending the night. :/
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: CantDoIt, davidtorez, absolutelyyou and 4 others
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,356
I hope you don't have pain and the doctors can stop the bleeding. Stay strong!! 🫂
 
  • Like
Reactions: davidtorez
destinationlosangel

destinationlosangel

Specialist
Feb 16, 2024
300
Hey I hope you feel better soon! Praying for you
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and davidtorez

Similar threads

VogonPoetry
Replies
4
Views
231
Recovery
platypus77
platypus77
TinySlitsThatScream
Replies
1
Views
183
Suicide Discussion
tiredoflife2
T
s00ngone
Replies
1
Views
324
Suicide Discussion
getoutgirl
getoutgirl
Atmosphere
Replies
0
Views
249
Suicide Discussion
Atmosphere
Atmosphere
wasted0906
Replies
3
Views
367
Suicide Discussion
roommate
roommate