Venting My nerves go crazy and nothing I do can alliviate my suffering!

[brokencookie]

I've been suffering from several blockages and nerv pains for over a year now. It caused me severe anhedonia, numbness and suicidal ideation everyday ever since.

I get no joy from life, everything it painful and exhausting. Walking, eating, shitting, talking...everything is a fucking struggle for me. My mind, my creativity and my smarts are also pretty much out of the window. I'm getting exhausted even typing this rn. Life just fucking exhausts me. I feel so much preassure and pains all over my body and it just won't fucking stop.

I do so much to get back to normal, I do things I "enjoy", I visit doctor after doctor, got all possible tests done, I go for a walk outside, I eat healthy, all of that. None of it works. And now I'm doomed for the rest of my life. Only a genie in a bottle could safe me from my suffering, but they don't exist. I tried meditation, LSD, Weed....nothing works, at best, it only gets worse or it distracts me. But the nerve pain, head pressure and mental anguish persists. I hate that I'm forever broken and I hate myself for letting it happen.

No I will not learn to love myself and live like this regardless, fuck off! Just let me die! Or at least help me be myself again!
Stop giving me the feeling nothing ever mattered. I'm a weakling and it's good, that way I focus on alleviating suffrring so y'all don't have to suffer.

I have no control over myself anymore. I'm basically the walking dead atp and I'm trapped like this forever, unless I finally find a way out of this and understand what's actually going on. Fuck! I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I have no direction! My anhedonia took all dreams and goals I had before.

I'm starting to despise religious people, because they worship this narcissistic asshole that is reaponseble for all the suffering in this world. Got offended? too bad, I don't care anymore lol
If the rest of the world hates me for that, so fucking be it!

I stopped venting to my loved ones and all I do is waiting to die. I wanna get my hands on N so I can check out peacefully. Just haven't found the right location. If anyone knows something it'd be more than appreciate it.

I dunno just needed to get this off my chest. I just want to get healed, I feel so left alone and gaslighted all the time!

 

[soledad.virgen]

im sorry for all your pain :( i also have nerve pain and i know how frustrating it is, i really do hope they find a cure for it soon.

 

[brokencookie]

im sorry for all your pain :( i also have nerve pain and i know how frustrating it is, i really do hope they find a cure for it soon.

It really hurts me seeing people suffering from the same or even worse
We all deserve a cure!

 

[Trappednocure]

Hi I have nerve issues too like insects under my skin and burns, sometimes stabbing sensations. How are yours like?

 

[brokencookie]

Hi I have nerve issues too like insects under my skin and burns, sometimes stabbing sensations. How are yours like?

Just like you describe, plus it spmetimes feels like pelt, getting a little numb. Also some muscle weekness. I also feel like my arms are heating up at times...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry you're having to deal with something like this. If you still have more "try" left in you, my only suggestion is to drop the doctors that aren't helping you and find others that may. It can make a difference. I don't have/didn't have anything like you have, but I did have something going on years ago which required me to seek medical intervention. I went to about 8 doctors seeking help over the course of a year, getting all kinds of tests ran, try this pill, etc, etc. None of it worked. I finally got "lucky" and found a doctor who IMMEDIATELY recognized what was going on, BECAUSE HE HAD SEEN IT BEFORE. He fixed me right up. Only saying it happened for me. I'm sure what I had going on was much less complicated than what you have. At least it sounds like it. Still, if you still have any "try" left in you, drop the quacks and try others, at least until you no longer have anything left. It sounds like you may still have some "try" left from your post. If I misread it, or infer incorrectly, I apologize.

 

[polm]

I can relate I'm so sorry I have full body stinging and periodic electrical jolts, burning too. Meds take the edge off. It sucks. Seen too many Drs.