Ok here are a few of the things that have been happening.
1. My sister was bed bound - due to other illnesses not connected to her death. When she was alive, I would go to her house, go to her fridge which was downstairs, take out food to cook. Bring it upstairs for her. She was in hospital two months before she died and then she came home to recover and then hospital transport would take her back to the hospital every week for tests, etc and then bring her back into her house and carry her upstairs. Again, she could not leave her room. Again, I knew her fridge and what was on it - she had these word magnet things and fridge magnets given to her from other people's travels.
So after she died my CTB feelings increase 10 fold. No one in my family knew how I was feeling. No one and certainly my sister did not know I was planning to CTB well before she became ill and whilst she was ill as I was too focused on helping to care for her when she was alive, so I would never have been selfish enough to relay this to her whilst she was ill. My family and I go to her house for the first time after she has passed away. Now I am in a really bad way - I have been given Valium by my doctor and I still say nothing to my family about my plans to CTB as soon as possible as I cannot cope with the grief of what has happened. We go to her house about ten days after she has died. We are packing up her kitchen things and I go to the fridge freezer and there is a note in my sister's handwriting on a words of inspiration type of note saying things like "There are people everywhere, who exactly like you understand the trials and the pain you're going through. For at some time in their lives, they have seen dark shadows fall and have felt that there is no one who could answer to their call. Yet, somehow they make it through and found the strength within to find acceptance of how things were and to once again begin. They are the living proof that every cloud, even those of darkest grey - all eventually pass by.... etc etc". Again. This was the first time we had been back to her house since her death. No one knew I was suicidal. My sister was bedridden - not just housebound. It is her handwriting and even if she could have got downstairs - impossible - she was catastrophically ill, (but died of another condition) she would not have gone downstairs to put a note on a fridge, she would have simply given it to me! I know my sister. So I angrily accuse my mother and niece of putting it there and they look bewildered and ask what it is. They become angry in response and then start to questioning my state of mind asking me if I am suicidal or something as why else would there be a note there like that. They deny putting the note there and state they had no idea of the extent of my state of mind and swear on everything and anything available that they are not responsible for the note. No one but us had access to her house.
2. My niece chooses a funeral director and then decides to use the one her mother in law has chosen to take the stress off of doing it herself. But, I discover that this funeral company was involved in a scandal on two separate occasions involving the disrespect of deceased loved ones. I advise her to use the one she had originally planned to use. She says no, then texts me about three minutes later to say she will go with the one she originally planned to use. We go to see this funeral director a few days later to try to plan things. I mention a church around the corner from my sister and am told that has no vicar at the moment, so the director recommends a church about 500 metres away and says she will pass the details onto the Father/vicar person. We return to my sister's house to continue packing things up - I come across her notebooks and start to rip out pages with confidential info on to shred. I see a page with the name of a church at the bottom of the page. I'm confused. My sister never went to church. I go to shred the paper, then instinctively rip off the top half and ask my niece if she knows what that church is about. She says no and keeps the page in her purse.
We go to see this Father/Vicar a couple of days later. We are sitting in the church planning things and he says he is from the same town we are from. Ok, no biggie It is a small world. He then says that most of his congregation are from the small island my mother is from. Err? My mother who was not born in the country I live in has met maybe two people in her entire time here who are from the same country as herself - now this church is full of the same nationality of people. Even I have never met a single person from my mother's country before. Ok another coincidence I think. Then this Father/vicar goes on to tell us the history of how he became a vicar. his father was the vicar of the main church in my hometown. His grandfather was the vicar of the church, the name of which my sister had written down on that piece of paper. Need to add my sister had always said she wanted a simply cremation - no church or anything. My niece said she told her this about a year ago, so we have zero connection to the church now involved in the preparations. None of us have been there before or know anything about it. Nor did we know the vicar, his history or background. We only know about the church because of the funeral director.
3. The florist. I try to find a florist who can deliver to the funeral place. We decide we want themed wreaths of things my sister liked. I find a florist who makes the things we want and she says she cannot deliver to my sister's town. My niece comes across a google image of a lovely wreath she wants and I phone this florist expecting the same response, but she says we can collect them the day before and we just need to decide on the colours, flowers, etc. I phone her a few days later and we start chatting after a while about everything from politics to world affairs. I then tell her about my sister - the two illnesses she had - one of which was rare and what she actually died from which was different . When I mention the first illness, the florist says, I have exactly the same illness. I am surprised - but ok - this first illness is not that rare. We return to the topic of her sister in law who she had earlier mentioned was from an island quite near to where my mother is from. I ask her about her sister in law and she says she died two years ago from the second illness my sister had developed earlier this year - the rare illness. The florist then tells me she has the same separate condition that my sister actually died of suddenly.
4. We have all had interference on all of our separate phones - that is - my mother, myself and my niece - static on landline and mobiles and we are all with different providers. Sometimes the static is heard by one of us - sometimes by two people on the phone. We have heard my sister's voice twice interrupting conversations. One was about my niece getting vaccinated for Covid on a particular date we had booked and her voice said "no". I thought I was going crazy and asked my niece if she heard it and she did. I recorded part of it on my cellphone. You hear me in the end saying "Sister's name - Should blank have the vaccine and there is a no on a few occasions". We found this weird and then understood why she had said no. The day before my niece was due to become vaccinated in late July, she became seriously ill. She has one of the autoimmune conditions my sister had and was so ill, I had to call an ambulance for her. So she never could have been vaccinated the following day. It is not just static and words, but prolonged buzzing sounds only during specific conversations. I recorded another weird - elongated sound - never ever heard before on any phone I have ever used in my life and this happened when I was trying to ring my mother on my landline and later found out she was on the phone to her sister in Canada - my sister loved her aunt in Canada...
5. We have had radios, tv's spontaneously switch on a number of occasions and when we look for the remote to see if we have accidentally sat on it, the remote is on the other side of the room.
6. I was discussing songs to play at my sister's funeral and mentioned Coldplay and a long extreme buzzing sound came on the phone whilst speaking to my niece and my niece said "she hated Coldplay" then there was a muted no which we both heard...
7. Teamviewer flashed up on my laptop on two separate occasions - I saw this when I came downstairs to my living room. I do not use Teamviewer. I have used it maybe twice in my life and the last time was about five years ago. It showed as someone wanting to connect. My sister - loved using Teamviewer. Loved that site. Never knew why
8. At my sister's house last Friday - continuing to pack things up, my niece offers me a pair of my sister's shoes - brand new. They are almost identical to the ones I am wearing. I refuse them as I have refused nearly everything offered to me by my niece from my sister's house. It is just too painful to have some of her things and what is the point since I plan to CTB. We go to leave about seven hours later and I go to put my shoes on which are by the front door. The zip at the back breaks. Ok. ermm I think. no worries, I'll try and fix the zip. I have no success so my mother says she needs to go to her bag to get the right tool to fix it, She used to be a seamstress and clothes designer so has that sort of thing to hand. She tries to open her bag to get the right tools to fix my shoe zip and cannot open her bag. First time this has ever happened. I still refuse to take my sister's shoes and go to my car to pack it up with things my family are transporting to other houses. I realise I simply cannot even walk in this broken shoe, It is impossible. My foot is flopping out, I am tripping up. So I go back upstairs to the house and my mother is still trying to open her bag, I say "Ok I will take the shoes" and my mother's bag zip opens.
These are some of the minor things and they are not even the most extreme ones. The ones which are still happening are a little more private but shocked the Father/Vicar when he saw the video of things my niece recorded happening at her house ... his mouth was agape.
