Please someone help me

[kunikuzushi]

I feel like I'm unable to withstand this torture any longer. I went to the hospital this week. I have meds. I just got drunk tonight. I want to see my boyfriend so badly all the time but he doesn't want to see me as often. I'm boring I guess. I just saw my friends, but feel unbearably empty because I'm alone now.
I'm going insane because I feel helpless and stupid because I can't handle being alone for longer than an hour. I can't stand myself. I can't think of a single thing to do to calm down. This happens every day. I just want comfort so badly.
I have SN, but I'm not quite ready to leave. Why? I actually don't know. I was staying alive so I wouldn't hurt other people, but why should I care if they don't even want to be around me? I'm not good enough, and that's unbearable. I want to end my life by November. I can't take anymore of this torture. I really can't. Please does anyone know how I can cope for the rest of tonight?

 

[Jadeith]

Sorry you feel this way. Internal emptiness is a bitch to deal with.

I'm boring I guess

Not necessarily true. I'd say it's just "clinginess mismatch" - some people require more contact, some less. Him requiring less doesn't mean anything bad about you.

Why? I actually don't know.

That one actually does not require explanation. If you don't feel like it then you don't. Period. No need to justify. It should always be a choice and you do not owe anyone an explanation.

Please does anyone know how I can cope for the rest of tonight?

Apologies but i do not have knowledge about you required to offer anything meaningful. Just hope you'll get better and find peace, regardless of your decision whether to stay or not.

 

[whywere]

You are NOT EVER stupid, you ARE good enough, in fact you are wonderfully caring soul.

I too, very much dislike being alone, I know the feel and the anguish of it, HOWEVER you are family here and also a loving friend to/for me.

You are NEVER EVER alone, as we are ALL together and I give you huge hugs.

You have a wonderful boyfriend and a family here and I care about YOU and please do not drink any more alcohol, as it is a depressant and I care deeply about you and I want the best for you always.

Hugs to you,

Walter

 

[getoutgirl]

There are some techniques for emotional overwhelm in here, you can try some if they help just to get by.

'Crisis' Resources for anxiety attacks and emotional overwhelm

Written by @Dot, I am just being the voice so more people can understand it. Okay, so you are having an anxiety episode. It is worth remembering when suffering anxiety attack, that you are safe, despite your body throwing out symptoms and telling you otherwise. We have compiled a list of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

They don't solve the larger issues but hey these kinds of things can calm u down when you feel desperate.

But I'm really sorry you are having an awful night, nights are usually the hardest for me. You are not alone ok? Even if I get you'd like to have someone next to you atm, know you are not alone in this. If there's something calling you to stay here, even if you can't put a name on it, try to hang in there as best you can. It is hard, but you can do it, with a bit of help too.
Lots of hugs, take it easy tonight if you can <3

 

[bankai]

Difficult to read. I can feel your anguish. But I wouldn't know where to begin. I have the opposite problem. I actually push away people in real life. I suffer in a different way. I don't want to burden them with my issues.

I'll tell you one thing though. You feel like you're not good enough for them. That's just perceived. Trust me. It's just an internal battle you're having. They're your friends for a reason.

Unfortunately, they cannot be with you all the time. And other people need their space too.I would say make more friends and cycle between them. So that you can spend some time with some people and then spend some more time with others. Maybe get some hobbies. Make some online friends too?

 

[kunikuzushi]

Sorry you feel this way. Internal emptiness is a bitch to deal with.

Not necessarily true. I'd say it's just "clinginess mismatch" - some people require more contact, some less. Him requiring less doesn't mean anything bad about you.

That one actually does not require explanation. If you don't feel like it then you don't. Period. No need to justify. It should always be a choice and you do not owe anyone an explanation.

Apologies but i do not have knowledge about you required to offer anything meaningful. Just hope you'll get better and find peace, regardless of your decision whether to stay or not.

Thank you for your point of view. I want to remind myself it's a clinginess mismatch, but even that hurts. But yes thank you so much for the support.

You are NOT EVER stupid, you ARE good enough, in fact you are wonderfully caring soul.

I too, very much dislike being alone, I know the feel and the anguish of it, HOWEVER you are family here and also a loving friend to/for me.

You are NEVER EVER alone, as we are ALL together and I give you huge hugs.

You have a wonderful boyfriend and a family here and I care about YOU and please do not drink any more alcohol, as it is a depressant and I care deeply about you and I want the best for you always.

Hugs to you,

Walter

Thank you for the kind words and hugs. I'm sorry you know the pain of feeling alone too. I do feel a bit better being with everyone here. Wish you the best too.

 

[Leonszabs]

I feel like I'm unable to withstand this torture any longer. I went to the hospital this week. I have meds. I just got drunk tonight. I want to see my boyfriend so badly all the time but he doesn't want to see me as often. I'm boring I guess. I just saw my friends, but feel unbearably empty because I'm alone now.
I'm going insane because I feel helpless and stupid because I can't handle being alone for longer than an hour. I can't stand myself. I can't think of a single thing to do to calm down. This happens every day. I just want comfort so badly.
I have SN, but I'm not quite ready to leave. Why? I actually don't know. I was staying alive so I wouldn't hurt other people, but why should I care if they don't even want to be around me? I'm not good enough, and that's unbearable. I want to end my life by November. I can't take anymore of this torture. I really can't. Please does anyone know how I can cope for the rest of tonight?

Hey, well firstly, I am glad that you are here. Your friends and partner care about you, you are just feeling vulnerable right now and you're thinking the absolute worst. That is totally normal though, but you always have people on this website to help you if nobody is available in real life.

 

[kunikuzushi]

There are some techniques for emotional overwhelm in here, you can try some if they help just to get by.

'Crisis' Resources for anxiety attacks and emotional overwhelm

Written by @Dot, I am just being the voice so more people can understand it. Okay, so you are having an anxiety episode. It is worth remembering when suffering anxiety attack, that you are safe, despite your body throwing out symptoms and telling you otherwise. We have compiled a list of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

They don't solve the larger issues but hey these kinds of things can calm u down when you feel desperate.

But I'm really sorry you are having an awful night, nights are usually the hardest for me. You are not alone ok? Even if I get you'd like to have someone next to you atm, know you are not alone in this. If there's something calling you to stay here, even if you can't put a name on it, try to hang in there as best you can. It is hard, but you can do it, with a bit of help too.
Lots of hugs, take it easy tonight if you can <3

I will read through that. Thank you so much. Yes nights are so scary for me. Thank you for being with me so that I'm not alone. I really don't want to stay. I'm just too tired to leave. I really appreciate the comforting words. Hugs hugs wish you the best too.

Difficult to read. I can feel your anguish. But I wouldn't know where to begin. I have the opposite problem. I actually push away people in real life. I suffer in a different way. I don't want to burden them with my issues.

I'll tell you one thing though. You feel like you're not good enough for them. That's just perceived. Trust me. It's just an internal battle you're having. They're your friends for a reason.

Unfortunately, they cannot be with you all the time. And other people need their space too.I would say make more friends and cycle between them. So that you can spend some time with some people and then spend some more time with others. Maybe get some hobbies. Make some online friends too?

For years I pushed everyone away and needed to be alone constantly because I couldnt stand burdening anyone. I'm very sorry you are in that position and suffering.

I really hope you're right that it's just perceived. It's so unbearable to think I'm trying so hard and never enough.

I really should get more friends, but I'm so done with life that I don't have any energy left to do this. I also hate myself so much that I can't maintain new friendships because I feel like they'll see how pathetic I am. I have nothing going on in my life because I've just been planning my death. Thank you so much for your help. I hope you have a good day/night.

Hey, well firstly, I am glad that you are here. Your friends and partner care about you, you are just feeling vulnerable right now and you're thinking the absolute worst. That is totally normal though, but you always have people on this website to help you if nobody is available in real life.

Yes I'm so grateful for everyone here. Thank you for your kind words and wish you the best.

 

[fernstaysquiet]

I know exactly how you feel.. I literally can't be alone for more than an hour. It's unbearable.

I'm really sorry to hear that your partner can't spend more time with you. I couldn't handle a relationship like that, I'd really lose it.

I hope you find a way to feel a little better. Much love <3

 

[Leonszabs]

I will read through that. Thank you so much. Yes nights are so scary for me. Thank you for being with me so that I'm not alone. I really don't want to stay. I'm just too tired to leave. I really appreciate the comforting words. Hugs hugs wish you the best too.

For years I pushed everyone away and needed to be alone constantly because I couldnt stand burdening anyone. I'm very sorry you are in that position and suffering.

I really hope you're right that it's just perceived. It's so unbearable to think I'm trying so hard and never enough.

I really should get more friends, but I'm so done with life that I don't have any energy left to do this. I also hate myself so much that I can't maintain new friendships because I feel like they'll see how pathetic I am. I have nothing going on in my life because I've just been planning my death. Thank you so much for your help. I hope you have a good day/night.

Yes I'm so grateful for everyone here. Thank you for your kind words and wish you the best.

I wish you the best too! You can message me if you'd like whenever you want, I am always here.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I send you a strong

 

[kunikuzushi]

I know exactly how you feel.. I literally can't be alone for more than an hour. It's unbearable.

I'm really sorry to hear that your partner can't spend more time with you. I couldn't handle a relationship like that, I'd really lose it.

I hope you find a way to feel a little better. Much love <3

Yes I'm so so sorry you know how this feels. Thank you for understanding and making me feel like I'm not crazy. I will try to feel better hugs hugs wish you the best.

I send you a strong

Hugs hugs