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Ariii

Ariii

Student
Oct 29, 2023
120
As in people in their twenties or whatever your threshold for 'young' is. I myself am only 21 and I've seen a few sentiments on here against people my age CTBing. I understand why, because obviously, my life can drastically change in the next decade, whether it's better or worse, who knows. But at the same time, I am also an adult, and I feel as though I am capable of making my own decisions.

Which is why I am asking, because consistently, throughout my life, I've always thought of myself as mature and capable, only to look back on that time period from an older age to realize, no, my judgment was actually really poor.
 
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artificialpasta

artificialpasta

Student
Feb 2, 2020
122
You are an adult. You are responsible for yourself.
What I am very uncomfortable about is the fact that this site attracts so many edgy kids and teenagers. 16 year olds and so on.
 
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banger12

banger12

Former nerd; current burden
Aug 1, 2024
272
I've noticed the same sentiment, or sentiments ig because it's attached to a variety of different emotions and "judgements" (for lack of a better term).

There are some who have dismissive or even harsh or hostile attitudes toward people our age CTB, which I find frustrating because they can't really know what any of our lives or personal histories are or what it's like to be in our shoes.

But I think a lot of them also are more empathetic and are more just saddened by it and view it as tragic.

I know this isn't what you were asking but I thought I'd just concur that I've noticed it too but also it often comes from a sympathetic place. I'm sorry
 
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B

BrokenMindAndBody

Member
May 31, 2024
21
I guess I'm older now. I just turned 40 a month ago. The first time I attempted was when I was 21 and came very close. I still persist in this world and I fucking hate it and it's only gonna get worse for me if I continue to stay here. So, there's that. Make of it what you will.
 
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steveholt

steveholt

ARLDSTE
Feb 15, 2025
91
It is and always will be a personal choice a decision to CTB age has nothing to do with it ..
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,139
I just think it's really sad that they feel as if the world offers them so little incentive to stay. But then, it would be hypocritical for me to criticise that, seeing as I feel the same way. Plus, I've had ideation since I was 10 so, I can also relate to feeling this way from a young age.

I suppose I feel less frustrated with them and more frustrated with the world at large. I doubt many people develop ideation flippantly. There are reasons they are feeling so unhappy and dissatisfied with life that they are considering risking suicide to leave it.

Why is it all on them to try and make it work and their 'fault' if it doesn't? Besides, I think most people do try to fix their problems before turning to suicide. Most people here I imagine have tried some form of 'help' on offer. Whatever that may be- therapy, lifestyle changes, meds. Some people have been fighting for years/ decades utiliising whatever was on offer to help. Is it truly there fault if these things don't work?

Also, how obliged should they actually feel to try all these different things? I think that's a very personal thing. Suicides can deeply affect other people. As a general principle, we ought to live trying not to hurt others. Still, what if these people are in some part responsible for us feeling like this? Do we still owe it to them not to hurt them when, they hurt us? Also, what fashion of love is it that is comfortable with keeping another being trapped in a situation in which they experience pain? That's a very selfish love- surely. So- perhaps they ought to be adjusting their thinking and blaming to reflect that.

As for whether it is the 'right' decision for any of us- no matter the age- who can say? We don't have a crystal ball. Put it this way though- even if we knew things would eventually be ok but, we'd go through many years more of struggle to get there or, we'd have several relapses here and there- which seems kind of likely- how smooth sailing is anyone's life really? Even with the knowledge of things to come, I wonder if that would still be enough to convince us to endure it.

I also think it depends on the age really. I think a 7 year old say likely does have less emotional maturity/ capability to make such a decision. Plus, ideation in childhood may well be due in part to a toxic home environment. Perhaps it is worth seeing if life will improve if they are able to move away from that and live independently.

I sometimes wonder though really. Was my appraisal/ predictions about life so very different at 18, 25, 35 and now, 45? I'm really not so sure. I sometimes just wonder if some people work it out earlier that life isn't for them.

I actually wish I could say things will change, just hang on, it's worth it. Maybe it is for some people. To be fair, my 30's were perhaps the best, comparitively. I think so much is down to circumstances though. I think people do carefully consider their circumstances when considering suicide though. Clearly, they come to that decision when it's very likely they won't be able to achieve what they want in life. Isn't that actually quite logical? As in: I likely won't achieve what I want and, I'll suffer. That doesn't sound appealing at all. Who, in their right mind wants to live like that?

Sorry for the essay length response!
 
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Jealous Blackheart

Jealous Blackheart

A Well Read Demon
Aug 25, 2023
220
Late 20's.

When I look back at all the years that have gone by since my first failed attempt over a decade ago I never think to myself, "That was stupid. I'm really glad I didn't die."
All the things I've experienced since then, and there have been good things, don't make me grateful for the chance to be alive. If I could go back in time and do it right the first time, I would, knowing fully all the things I would have missed if I did.

When I look back at the things I believed or wrote when I was younger I don't cringe, I wonder how on earth I figured all of that out that young. If only I was better at documenting the past instead of erasing it.

Ultimately, I am pro choice, but realistically I know full well that I cannot be used as a measure for what is the normal human experience.
If you belong to yourself, you have a right to decide for yourself. My two cents.
 
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Z

Zaphkiel

IDK
May 13, 2023
235
40 here.

You said it yourself.
You're at an age where you still have a lot of things to expérience.
New jobs, relationships, hopefully à healthy body and so on.
And while it can go either way I do think it's worth a try because you have frankly nothing to lose except maybe another shot at happiness.

On the other hand yes we have no right to tell you what you do and are not aware of your circumstances nor your mental and physical status.

Ultimatly what we conveys to you are Just words that you May, or May not, take at you convenience.
 
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J

Jadeith

Experienced
Jan 14, 2025
272
You are an adult. You are responsible for yourself.
What I am very uncomfortable about is the fact that this site attracts so many edgy kids and teenagers. 16 year olds and so on.
I don't think that artificially set age at which you are supposed to magically change into adult (different in different countries) is a good indicator someone is becoming responsible or not.
In general i feel sorry for anyone who was pushed so far that they even consider suicide, regardless of their age because it means so much pain and suffering no one deserves to experience. We got victims of sexual assaults, intolerance, parental neglect, trauma, illnesses etc. at different stages of life. One could argue that it is "more tragic" for young people because they have whole life to experience yet they choose to end prematurely but on the other hand older ones had to experience this shit for prolonged period of time to reach breaking point and it's not a competition who suffers more. I just want it to end for everyone, that's all.
 
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grapevoid

grapevoid

Mage
Jan 30, 2025
520
I am here today well into my 30s and have struggled with SI all my life. I don't regret living this long. There have been ups and downs but I'm glad I gave myself time to experience life. It sucks right now but it didn't always suck and I'm happy for what I've experienced!!
I've seen a lot of people get better over the years, and I've seen a lot of people get worse. When I was your age, it was worth the risk and I'm glad I took it.

But yes, you are an adult and that's for you to decide. I do hope you consider the nature of your mental health and really try to explore every treatment option before making a decision. I wish I could be cool about this but I'm a human, and my heart wants to say don't do it, you have so much life ahead of you, there is a chance to recover! And logically I know that's not always the case and it's not my place to sway you in either direction, whatever you decide, I hope you find happiness.
 
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LittleNelson

LittleNelson

Member
Dec 18, 2021
36
It's such a personal choice and everyone should be able to make their own decision whether they are 20 or 80. I'm 37 now and I wish I'd had the courage to end it all years ago because I would have saved myself so much misery.
 
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Roadrunner

Roadrunner

Experienced
Mar 18, 2024
289
I'm now 62, I was bullied at school when I was young, etc, bla bla bla. My entire life has been various levels of unhappiness (anxiety and depression really started at 30). I've always tried to make the best of it, hoping things would suddenly get better. So when I read stories of younger people on here considering CTB, what I think is " I wish things were different, or turn around for them, but I'm skeptical and "I get it". I wish I hadnt lived this long unhappy. Nobody knows someone's pain but them.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,014
I think most of the younger people I've seen who want to ctb, want to for really stupid reasons. Most. Not all, but most.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,475
What I am very uncomfortable about is the fact that this site attracts so many edgy kids and teenagers. 16 year olds and so on.
While I agree that it is concerning that the site attracts teens, at the same time, let's refrain from brushing them off as just being "edgy". These kids are suicidal and are suffering in many cases. I still remember when we were trying to help a teen on here who had been groomed and was being blackmailed by her groomer who had csem of her. Brushing them off as just "edgy kids and teenagers" is disgusting and invalidates the issues that many people go through around that period of life. I'm saying this as someone who started having thoughts about wanting to die as early as elementary school and whose first attempts were back when they were 15.
 
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platypus77

platypus77

Experienced
Dec 11, 2024
279
Which is why I am asking, because consistently, throughout my life, I've always thought of myself as mature and capable, only to look back on that time period from an older age to realize, no, my judgment was actually really poor.
I don't even need to look far to feel like that, whenever I read something I've written a few months a earlier it's enough to make me realize the same thing.

21 is just the beginning of possibly the best decade to explore and do stupid shit without permanent damages. There are exceptions of course, but that's the way I feel.
 
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Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,419
There are life events that make people think about ending it. As one ages, they see how some of those events are less relevant in the long run. This creates all of those "you are young" and "it will get better" posts.
In the end, the affected person is the one that needs to choose. It is their problem and they get to select the solution.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,394
Let them choose what they want do with their lives as its theirs and their suffering, not yours. Death isn't a negative thing cus of it being non-existence so you can't suffer or regret at all meaning no consequences for the person when life is uncertain whether it improves or not so people should be allowed to make choices if there are risks involved with one or the other. To me its condensing and mean to restrict suicide of younger people as we were forced into this world so its fair if we want to quit at any time.

Certainly break-ups. Failing classes. Overweight. Might be others.
Those aren't invalid reasons. Break ups can effect people much long term as relationships can mean so much to some. I know it has for me as I literally haven't gotten over either of my break ups despite it being years after for the first and the second being last year. So much stress can put on younger people to exceed in education so the amount of work and fear of failure can be a lot for them as they see it as an important thing that they need to get right in their lives. Appearance and being overweight can effect people a lot and can cause others to value you less and hurt you cus of it leading to the person hating themselves, especailly if they find it hard to change their appearance. You have no right to say whether others reasons are valid of not as its their feelings and their experiences.
 
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dead dav

dead dav

Student
Feb 27, 2025
111
It a sad world when someone young wants to ctb but I fully understand I was bullied at school etc and can understand the urge to take your own life but I would also ask that every other avenue is explored first ctb is always the back up plan if all else fails
 
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artificialpasta

artificialpasta

Student
Feb 2, 2020
122
Those aren't invalid reasons. Break ups can effect people much long term as relationships can mean so much to some. I know it has for me as I literally haven't gotten over either of my break ups despite it being years after for the first and the second being last year. So much stress can put on younger people to exceed in education so the amount of work and fear of failure can be a lot for them as they see it as an important thing that they need to get right in their lives. Appearance and being overweight can effect people a lot and can cause others to value you less and hurt you cus of it leading to the person hating themselves, especailly if they find it hard to change their appearance. You have no right to say whether others reasons are valid of not as its their feelings and their experiences.

If a 14 year old wants to kill themself because of a breakup our default assumption should absolutely not be "yeah that's valid"
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,394
If a 14 year old wants to kill themself because of a breakup our default assumption should absolutely not be "yeah that's valid"
Lots of people here wanted to suicide early in life but that want hasn't changed so if they wanted to experience less suffering they should have been allowed more access to dying early.
 
2messdup

2messdup

Enlightened
Feb 10, 2024
1,257
Sorry but it makes me very sad because surely in almost all cases there's the potential for improved life if those people had the right help and support. But in this world it's survival of the meanest and greediest.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,014
Let them choose what they want do with their lives as its theirs and their suffering, not yours. Death isn't a negative thing cus of it being non-existence so you can't suffer or regret at all meaning no consequences for the person when life is uncertain whether it improves or not so people should be allowed to make choices if there are risks involved with one or the other. To me its condensing and mean to restrict suicide of younger people as we were forced into this world so its fair if we want to quit at any time.


Those aren't invalid reasons. Break ups can effect people much long term as relationships can mean so much to some. I know it has for me as I literally haven't gotten over either of my break ups despite it being years after for the first and the second being last year. So much stress can put on younger people to exceed in education so the amount of work and fear of failure can be a lot for them as they see it as an important thing that they need to get right in their lives. Appearance and being overweight can effect people a lot and can cause others to value you less and hurt you cus of it leading to the person hating themselves, especailly if they find it hard to change their appearance. You have no right to say whether others reasons are valid of not as its their feelings and their experiences.
Break-ups are a part of life. They happen to everyone. You get over them as time goes on. In every life a little rain must fall. It's an invalid reason to ctb, imo, over another person. People can lose weight if it bothers them, or learn to accept thrmselves how they are. There are plenty of happy overweight people in successful long-term relationships. I have EVERY RIGHT to express my opinion, as do you. And that's exactly what I did. Who do you think you are telling someone they don't have a right to express their opinion? Like yours is the ONLY ONE that counts. Yeah right 🙄.
 
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gothbird

gothbird

Poet Girl
Mar 16, 2025
88
I hear this kind of thing a lot. And I get where it comes from. Society has this built in narrative that youth = unfinished, so anything you do before 25 must be an impulsive phase or a mistake waiting to be realised later.

But here's the thing: you're an adult. And adulthood doesn't come with a "perfect judgment" guarantee. Plenty of people in their 40s and 50s make short sighted decisions too. Maturity isn't about never being wrong—it's about taking responsibility for your choices, and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing.
Yes, brain development continues until around 25, especially in the prefrontal cortex (the bit responsible for long term planning and decision making). So yeah, maybe 21 isn't "fully cooked" in a neurological sense. But if we're being real? You're still responsible for your life. You can vote. You can marry. You can join the army. You can be sentenced to prison. So if you can do all that, then you're damn well allowed to consider your own ending too—without being condescended to.
Age does not make pain invalid. An 18 year old can be in just as much pain as someone twice their age. Pain doesn't wait until you've built a mortgage and a marriage before showing up. Sometimes it starts young and stays.
I think a lot of people are scared when younger folks CTB because it forces them to reckon with the idea that pain doesn't always have a timeline, or a lesson, or a magical "better decade" waiting on the other side. That's not your problem. That's theirs.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,394
Break-ups are a part of life. They happen to everyone. You get over them as time goes on. In every life a little rain must fall. It's an invalid reason to ctb, imo, over another person. People can lose weight if it bothers them, or learn to accept thrmselves how they are. There are plenty of happy overweight people in successful long-term relationships. I have EVERY RIGHT to express my opinion, as do you. And that's exactly what I did. Who do you think you are telling someone they don't have a right to express their opinion? Like yours is the ONLY ONE that counts. Yeah right 🙄.
just cus its part of life doesn't mean we should have to deal with it if we don't want to. We deserve an escape from this suffering in this life we are forced into life. People can view relationships differently to where its really important to them and losing it can break them, thats what happened to me. Time isn't going heal me as its been years and the first relationship only lasted a few months and I haven't gotten better. Saying that it is an invalid reason makes people feel worse about what they have experienced and make them feel guilty about feeling this way which we shouldn't do. People can experience things differently and just cus they experience something differently doesn't mean their want to ctb is invalid. What I am saying you don't have right to is to say to others that their suffering isn't enough to allow them to die. We should be allowed to have choices with our lives no matter what. The value of life is purely subjective and people are allowed to quit at any time.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,475
Those aren't invalid reasons. Break ups can effect people much long term as relationships can mean so much to some. I know it has for me as I literally haven't gotten over either of my break ups despite it being years after for the first and the second being last year. So much stress can put on younger people to exceed in education so the amount of work and fear of failure can be a lot for them as they see it as an important thing that they need to get right in their lives. Appearance and being overweight can effect people a lot and can cause others to value you less and hurt you cus of it leading to the person hating themselves, especailly if they find it hard to change their appearance. You have no right to say whether others reasons are valid of not as its their feelings and their experiences.
To add onto this, a lot of the effects of those issues are sometimes worsened if the person impacted by them already has other issues they are facing as well, such as mental illness, past trauma, and other life stressors. In a lot of cases, the people who come on here because of these issues aren't in the position they are in mentally because of those issues alone. Rather, these issues represent their breaking point and there are other factors at play as well, some of which they may not even be aware of.

In regards to being overweight in particular, fatphobia is a real issue, whether people like it or not. Plus-sized individuals are discriminated against and this discrimination is only worsened if the person is also a part of other marginalized demographics, such as if they are poor, POC, or a woman. The issues that fat people face go beyond just issues of not fitting into beauty ideals and can include issues with things, such as issues with getting hired to issues with medical discrimination. People treat fatness as a sign of moral failing and many don't just view those who are overweight as being less valuable but straight-up dehumanize those who are fat. That's not even getting into how fat bodies are both treated with disgust yet are overly sexualized and fetishized. I've seen a lot of people who have talked about being fetishized and sexualized by adults as children because of them being overweight. Fat people are constantly mocked, told that they are worthless, are constantly judged for things as simple as just enjoying a small snack, have trouble finding nice clothing that fits them, and are generally treated like trash.

It's already bad enough to invalidate people's reasons for ctbing but at least I can kind of understand not getting why some people might want to ctb due to things, like failing classes or breakups at first glance. To understand why requires you to think a bit more deeply. However, it is not hard to understand why some people might want to ctb due to being overweight. It's pretty darn obvious why that would make some people go over the edge once you look at how they get treated. Hell, I'm not even fat and even I can easily see why someone who is would want to ctb because of it.
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
1,488
I'm old & my feelings are very mixed about the young people here who are planning to ctb.
I think each person has the ultimate choice of whether to live or die. It is their life after all.
I have kids & would never be the same if one of them was to kill themselves without talking to me about their pain.
The person who ctbs is usually not the only victim!
In some of the posts here its obvious the person writing it was very young, possibly under 18.
Personally, I don't respond or participate in their posts. That's all I can do. Im not here to talk anyone into or out of ctbing. There's nothing I can do but listen. And listening is important, as we all want to be heard... 🤗🌹💔
 
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F

funtimes

Member
Mar 27, 2025
18
I don't even need to look far to feel like that, whenever I read something I've written a few months a earlier it's enough to make me realize the same thing.

21 is just the beginning of possibly the best decade to explore and do stupid shit without permanent damages. There are exceptions of course, but that's the way I feel.
Yeah it got better for me but now just spiraled.
 
GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
54
while i'm not old, i think that the answer would really just be about the reason, if the young person thinks that their life will never get better then i guess that's a little silly ?
but then again you could also be like me and want death for its own sake
 

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