People who need to buy into propaganda that point fingers to specifc groups of people as a threat or reason for their suffering are cowards. Cowards.
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Hey Guest,
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mattwitt
# 978
- Jun 28, 2018
- 2,307
I hate it when those red wavy lines magically appear under words you spelled wrong letting you know your stupid and can't spell.
They just want to use logic when it goes with them, when its against them, then no they don't want it. Therefore, they'll always fall in contradictions and loops will continue. That's why they never learn and repeat the same history. Illogical species
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
I'm honestly a big fucking idiot.
Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change...
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Unfortunately heard this phrase repeated so so many times it lost it's meaning
haha don't be nice to me I'll get all emotional n shit also good job on post #666 in this thread
appropriate, since satan is nice and speaks truth and disagrees
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Yup.
Sadly it's a very accurate description of the last decade of my life. So god damn pathetic.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
Yeah I understand it, when people misuse the phrase it's often used in a literal sense. but when thinking about the broader picture of what we do with our lives... well speaking for myself I agree with you, I've been on a cycle since I was a young teen without even realising it until 10 years later.
"The only thing that can be done in order to help a complex system to find an equilibrium, is leaving it alone"
I had this spark of wisdom in the morning. Just wanted to share it in case somebody finds it helpful
I had this spark of wisdom in the morning. Just wanted to share it in case somebody finds it helpful
Humans are rotten outside too. I'm waiting in a closed hospital room filled with that despicable beings and there smells like fucking shit.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
I've been lurking on this place for a while, but this is my first post.
I'm currently in an ongoing process to try to exhaustively prove that there's nothing left to live for. And I've found that there's quite a bit of stuff that I do enjoy the idea of doing - like drawing, video editing, game development, playing the guitar, film criticism and reading. And even with a list of that much stuff, every single time I try to even start drawing or playing the guitar (the two things on that list that require the least amount of sustained effort), all my enjoyment goes away, and even when I do finish what I started, it feels... hollow.
Last year, I was pseudo-leading a group of people building a large recreation of the scene from Pokemon Emerald where Rayquaza comes down from the skies and I remember being excited about creating a 12 ft. x 6 ft. tall tapestry of Kyogre and Groudon at war, and in front of them, a majestic shiny Mega Rayquaza that was over 8 feet tall when curled up into the menacing pouncing snake stance that it has. And when we were done, I remember the people stopping by to see it and compliment our work, but all I could feel was this immense emptiness. All that effort, costing nearly a month and my favorite t-shirt, and all I felt was nothing. Even when we destroyed the model and the painting, I felt the same hollow emptiness swallowing up my attachment to what I had spent so much effort on.
It's this empty feeling that I can't bring myself to face. I understand that it's meaningless, and that every effort I ever make is bound to be equally meaningless, but the emptiness saddens me. I know it's ridiculously stupid to feel that kind of attachment, but for some reason, I do. And part of this mess of contradictions is my immense desire for annihilation coupled with a huge fear of the same.
Sorry for rambling on for so long about random bullshit. It's just that there's times that I can't help but want some meaning from the meaningless world around me.
I'm currently in an ongoing process to try to exhaustively prove that there's nothing left to live for. And I've found that there's quite a bit of stuff that I do enjoy the idea of doing - like drawing, video editing, game development, playing the guitar, film criticism and reading. And even with a list of that much stuff, every single time I try to even start drawing or playing the guitar (the two things on that list that require the least amount of sustained effort), all my enjoyment goes away, and even when I do finish what I started, it feels... hollow.
Last year, I was pseudo-leading a group of people building a large recreation of the scene from Pokemon Emerald where Rayquaza comes down from the skies and I remember being excited about creating a 12 ft. x 6 ft. tall tapestry of Kyogre and Groudon at war, and in front of them, a majestic shiny Mega Rayquaza that was over 8 feet tall when curled up into the menacing pouncing snake stance that it has. And when we were done, I remember the people stopping by to see it and compliment our work, but all I could feel was this immense emptiness. All that effort, costing nearly a month and my favorite t-shirt, and all I felt was nothing. Even when we destroyed the model and the painting, I felt the same hollow emptiness swallowing up my attachment to what I had spent so much effort on.
It's this empty feeling that I can't bring myself to face. I understand that it's meaningless, and that every effort I ever make is bound to be equally meaningless, but the emptiness saddens me. I know it's ridiculously stupid to feel that kind of attachment, but for some reason, I do. And part of this mess of contradictions is my immense desire for annihilation coupled with a huge fear of the same.
Sorry for rambling on for so long about random bullshit. It's just that there's times that I can't help but want some meaning from the meaningless world around me.
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
I remember seeing the trailer a few minutes after it dropped. The arc words are almost too real.
RoloTomasi
Specialist
- Jul 21, 2018
- 319
Shouldn't be obvious to more people that everything we do is just for the sake of entertainment?
300 posts and I'm still alive.
Meh.
Meh.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
RM5998
Sack of Meat
- Sep 3, 2018
- 2,202
RoloTomasi
Specialist
- Jul 21, 2018
- 319
Congratulations! (Pins award)
Almost 1500 post and I'm still alive. I feel inmortal.
weedoge
Banned
- Jul 12, 2018
- 1,525
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
I never thought I'd say this but now I've reached a point where I can not go on any longer. Nothing is fun.I don't enjoy anything. I can no longer smile. I'm constantly sad and depressed. I just feel so numb. It feels like I've reached the end station. Nothing can help me cope. All the things I used to do are now useless. I used to surf the internet and then feel a little better but now it's just another thing that makes me depressed. I thought I would reach this point in a few years but I've reached it already. It has come far sooner than I expected. It's a good thing in a way. Meaning I can CTB but I'm still scared about being caught. Although I must admit I am caring less and less about that. I mean it just can't get worse. I already feel like shit and this has got to have an ending. A literal one. I want to stop existing. End this miserable life. So many wasted years. I should've done it years ago.
I feel like a kid who never grew up. I'm so petty and needy about everything, and the worst part is that I'm aware of this and do nothing to change. I talked to this guy that I figured I was done with just because I was lonely. He thought I was dead because it had been so long. I can't stop bending over backwards for people in an attempt to be liked and form connections.
He told me not to be so hard on myself, but it's clear to me that the common theme in all of my social failures is me. I'll always feel left out and isolated no matter what I do.
Angsty rant over.
He told me not to be so hard on myself, but it's clear to me that the common theme in all of my social failures is me. I'll always feel left out and isolated no matter what I do.
Angsty rant over.
