Personally, I've always found it more agreeable to be in the position of the one looking from the outside in (or perhaps inside looking out, in my case, given my hikikomori ways). It just comes naturally to me. If anything though I'd call myself an observer, not an outsider, since that implies I want to be a part of what's going on and participate on some level, which I most assuredly do not. I'll always be the shady, fuzzy image in the background because that's exactly where I want to be. I don't belong here on this website, nor on any other. I simply don't belong in this reality and I wouldn't want to even if I could. As far as here is concerned, the act of posting my self-indulgent diatribes about nothing has, and will always, make me feel uncomfortable. Participation in anything social or communal sickens me. A constant, reoccurring transgression I keep committing against myself. Boredom being the main culprit which compels me. One of the largest banes of my existence.